Going to court to take children out of the country.

[Guest tiemekanga]

Hello to you both.

 

I am absolutely thrilled for you all. WELL DONE!!! with hanging on to your sanity.

 

I had to go through something similar to you, 4 years ago, unfortunately my outcome was a no. It cost me £8,000 and 10 months of totally incompetent CAFFCASS, extortionate bills from the solicitor and barrister, mainly due to waiting time at the courts.

 

4 years on and with 3 stroppy teenagers, I eventually, got my ex to give his consent by offering to leave the kids with him. But thats another story. LOL!

 

Well done again and you truly deserve all that Oz can offer you as a family.

 

xx

[Guest the terry's]

Well done to you both, it's good to know there's light at the end of the tunnel and it's called AUSTRALIA !!.

 

Helenx

[Guest guest33730]

Geoffrey,

 

Can't believed I missed this news yesterday - That's fantastic. Often the hardest fought battles have the sweetest gain!! I wish you and the family all the best with your plans now they are reality - I am really chuffed for you mate.

 

Daniel

[Guest Andy]

Well it's taken 11 months, about £5,000 lots of tears and plenty of sleepless nights for a judge to say YES, WE CAN MOVE TO AUSTRALIA!!!!!!!!

 

I'm going to write a step by step guide for anyone interested in what it takes to take a child with you from a previous relationship so i'll write in that post what happened at court yesterday

 

I'd just like to thank everyone for their support :wubclub:

Nice one Geoff, good luck with your new life.

[OZwanted]

Many congratulations on getting the go ahead to move back home and take the whole family with you.

 

hope all goes smoothly with everything else now, all the best

 

Heidi x:hug::hug:

[Salma]

congrats you guys must be so happy, have a geat life in Oz!

[Guest shark]

Well it's taken 11 months, about £5,000 lots of tears and plenty of sleepless nights for a judge to say YES, WE CAN MOVE TO AUSTRALIA!!!!!!!!

 

I'm going to write a step by step guide for anyone interested in what it takes to take a child with you from a previous relationship so i'll write in that post what happened at court yesterday

 

I'd just like to thank everyone for their support :wubclub:

dead happy it all worked out for you Geoff. all the best for the future:hug:

[Guest famousfive]

Great news,well done to you all

[Quinkla]

I understand you're happy but I don't understand why you couldn't live in the UK so Jake could continue to have a relationship with his natural father. Taking a child away from his father seems rather selfish.

[Guest SDJ&A]

I am pleased for you both that after a long and troublesome experience you have what you wanted.

I hope you enjoy the rest of your time in the uk and the next part of your life in Australia.

 

Regards,

[Que Sera Sera]

Fantastic news Geoff and its great that you have done it the proper and legal way and the powers that be have agreed with you that the experiences that the child gains far outweighs the negatives. Good luck with the move Geoff and Tracey hope it goes smoothly :wubclub:

[Guest The Pom Queen]

I understand you're happy but I don't understand why you couldn't live in the UK so Jake could continue to have a relationship with his natural father. Taking a child away from his father seems rather selfish.

Obviously you don't know the full history of this and how Geoff's own children are in Australia (so yes, at long last Geoff's children will be able to see their natural father), maybe you need to present yourself with all the facts before you go judging anyone:wink::notworthy:

[Illawaralad]

Obviously you don't know the full history of this and how Geoff's own children are in Australia (so yes, at long last Geoff's children will be able to see their natural father), maybe you need to present yourself with all the facts before you go judging anyone:wink::notworthy:

 

Sorry, I've got to ask, (and this is someone on the outside looking in) what would promt someone to move 12,000 miles away from his own kids? Then take another mans child 12,000 miles away from him? This probably sounds pretty judgemental, but I'm not trying to be. You must see that he will iether look like a bloody hero to some, and a totally selfish bugger to others. I'm sitting on the fence by saying I hope it works out well for the kids.

[Parley]

This is a bad situation.

While you obviously feel happy that you have 'won', the other party will feel devastated at their loss.

[Guest siamsusie]

Obviously you don't know the full history of this and how Geoff's own children are in Australia (so yes, at long last Geoff's children will be able to see their natural father), maybe you need to present yourself with all the facts before you go judging anyone:wink::notworthy: __________________

www.moving-to-melbourne.co.uk

Helping New Migrants in Melbourne - Furnished Accommodation - Pet Friendly Accommodation - Airport Pick Ups

 

I fully endorse MovingtoMelbourne's post!

 

 

 

I really am pretty disgusted at some of the replies to this thread.

Geoff and Tracy & Jake have chosen to tell their story, a frank honest description, who are we to judge? I think the very fact that the Courts have awarded Jake "his departure to Australia" speaks volumes !

 

Susie

 

 

 

:wubclub:

[Illawaralad]

Obviously you don't know the full history of this and how Geoff's own children are in Australia (so yes, at long last Geoff's children will be able to see their natural father), maybe you need to present yourself with all the facts before you go judging anyone:wink::notworthy: __________________

www.moving-to-melbourne.co.uk

Helping New Migrants in Melbourne - Furnished Accommodation - Pet Friendly Accommodation - Airport Pick Ups

 

I fully endorse MovingtoMelbourne's post!

 

 

 

I really am pretty disgusted at some of the replies to this thread.

Geoff and Tracy & Jake have chosen to tell their story, a frank honest description, who are we to judge? I think the very fact that the Courts have awarded Jake "his departure to Australia" speaks volumes !

 

Susie

 

 

 

:wubclub:

Who are we to judge? that surely goes for for and against 'judgements'. Not many (if any) in here know any more about the situation than what the OP has chosen to tell us. The father may be equally as disgusted by all the congratulatory messages from people that don't know them from Adam. I can only speak as a father who would move heaven and earth to be with his kids, so you've got no right being disgusted with me:wink:

[tracy123]

I understand you're happy but I don't understand why you couldn't live in the UK so Jake could continue to have a relationship with his natural father. Taking a child away from his father seems rather selfish.

 

Even though I have said many things about the case many personal issues have been kept private. If I told you a lot of the facts you would understand that this is not a bad thing. But this thread was never about the rights or wrongs of taking a child away from a parent but the processes involved. Something a few of you can't see :wubclub:

 

We are doing what's right for our family unit

[Guest guest36187]

Thank you Geoff, you are able to give valuable insight into a traumatic and costly process. Its invaluable information.

 

To other posters, Geoff has chosen to help others with his posts here. None of you have any right to be judgemental about someone who is doing something in the best interest of the child.

 

Without knowing the full background you do not have the right to judge him.

 

Congratulations GEoff and Tracey. I know how hard this has been for you. I hope that your life in Australia will be everything that you wish for.

[tracy123]

This is a bad situation.

While you obviously feel happy that you have 'won', the other party will feel devastated at their loss.

 

There are never any winners. We have followed the rules, jumped through hoops and done everything asked of us. :wubclub:

[Guest siamsusie]

Who are we to judge? that surely goes for for and against 'judgements'. Not many (if any) in here know any more about the situation than what the OP has chosen to tell us. The father may be equally as disgusted by all the congratulatory messages from people that don't know them from Adam. I can only speak as a father who would move heaven and earth to be with his kids, so you've got no right being disgusted with me:wink:

 

Most parents would fight heaven and earth for their children, and then we have some that dont! You have the right to form a silent opinion on this, I respect that, but maybe when you dont (as I dont) know any of the facts its better to stay schtum.

 

Sorry if I came over as being harsh!

 

Susie

[Parley]

It really is impossible to have a thread on this subject that just talks about the process.

 

While that may have been your aim it will inevitably lead to encouraging post from mothers who have taken similar action themselves, and concern from fathers who can imagine the impact if it were done to them.

 

I hope things work out well for your family.

[Guest guest36187]

Sorry, I've got to ask, (and this is someone on the outside looking in) what would promt someone to move 12,000 miles away from his own kids? Then take another mans child 12,000 miles away from him? This probably sounds pretty judgemental, but I'm not trying to be. You must see that he will iether look like a bloody hero to some, and a totally selfish bugger to others. I'm sitting on the fence by saying I hope it works out well for the kids.

 

This subject riles me as people are very one sided in their views with this. My husband moved 12000 miles away from his kids. His kids were 17 when we left. We knew years ago that we were going to move away but waited until the kids were out of college before we left. Wen talked to them about it. They had the option to say "please can we come" and both stated they were happy where they were. You have ONE life to live and Geoff has chosen to make the best decisions he can for his family unit. My husband decided that we were moving. It was the best decision for OUR family unit. The children were settled and not wanting to move away from their family unit.It was the best decision for their family unit.

 

I completely understand where you are coming from. When you read other posts about dead beat dads (and there are some out there) I want to scream and say not all dads are like that!!! There are lousy mothers too! My husbands first wife moved house with the kids and never told us! We went to collect the kids and found an empty house!

 

I guess I am trying to say........it aint always the Dads!

 

Anyway, I digress, Geoff.....a lot of us DO know what you have been through and we know that it is the best decision that could be made. Look after your family unit, do the best you can , get out here (and up to Brissie) and I promise I`ll buy you a beer!

 

Good on ya mate x

[Illawaralad]

Most parents would fight heaven and earth for their children, and then we have some that dont! You have the right to form a silent opinion on this, I respect that, but maybe when you dont (as I dont) know any of the facts its better to stay schtum.

 

Sorry if I came over as being harsh!

 

Susie

 

Ya didn't come accross as harsh at all, my mother in law has toughened me up:biggrin:

 

I'm not saying whether it's a good or bad thing because I don't know Geoff or the situation, therefore it would be equally wrong and judgemental of me to pat him on the back and say good on ya. Best I can offer is that I hope it's the right outcome for the boy.

[Guest Calliope]

I have found this thread utterly heartbreaking. I've lived in the UK and in Australia and I'm feeling tearful for children whose parents are willing to separate them from their other parent, just for the sake of an imaginary better life. Of course, Australia has its advantages, as does the UK, but there is nothing in either country that could possibly make up for the contact with a child's parent.

 

For Tracy, in particular, I want to say this - it is not too late. Even if the courts have said you CAN move your children, you don't HAVE to. If there is any way on earth that you can keep your children near their father then just about every psychological study ever done will say it is in their best interests for you to do so.

 

(I know I'm going to be shot down by people who don't want this to be said, primarily because they're defensive and feel some guilt about their own decisions. But you had these children. They did not ask to be born. One of the costs of having children is we can't always do what we want - or even what we think they want - if it isn't in their best interests. I would encourage you to do a lot more thinking on your own, away from your new partner if necessary, before you take this any further.)

[tracy123]

I have found this thread utterly heartbreaking. I've lived in the UK and in Australia and I'm feeling tearful for children whose parents are willing to separate them from their other parent, just for the sake of an imaginary better life. Of course, Australia has its advantages, as does the UK, but there is nothing in either country that could possibly make up for the contact with a child's parent.

 

For Tracy, in particular, I want to say this - it is not too late. Even if the courts have said you CAN move your children, you don't HAVE to. If there is any way on earth that you can keep your children near their father then just about every psychological study ever done will say it is in their best interests for you to do so.

 

(I know I'm going to be shot down by people who don't want this to be said, primarily because they're defensive and feel some guilt about their own decisions. But you had these children. They did not ask to be born. One of the costs of having children is we can't always do what we want - or even what we think they want - if it isn't in their best interests. I would encourage you to do a lot more thinking on your own, away from your new partner if necessary, before you take this any further.)

 

Hi and thanks for taking time to post on this thread, this is Tracy rather than Geoff replying, as the post seemed to indicate a plea to me as Jake's mum. Firstly, there is nothing imaginary about our soon to be new home in Australia - as I am sure you are aware Geoff is an Aussie and we have had our reccie and are confident that our new place to call home is realistic and not some pipe dream.

 

Secondly - we will be moving to Aus and do not need to reconsider my decision to move. Without going into too much detail my ex husband, who has fairly generous contact with Jake, most certainly doesnt make contact with Jake his priority and Jake has recently disclosed that he does not want to go to his dad's anymore as he is 'fed up of being palmed off with other people rather than spending time with dad'.

 

I am aware of all the studies which indicate the benefits of contact with the non resident parent (believe me we have more than done our homework - I have spoken with colleagues in the health service who work within child and adolescent mental health services (CAMHS) and I have scoured the internet for research on case law, research and studies on how to handle the situation) and to make sure that Jakes health and wellbeing was and still is my upmost priority.

 

As a mother to 3 children, not just Jake, I have to consider the best move for ALL of my children and have had plenty of opportunity and time to consider the options for us as a family and I know that this is best for me, Jake and the rest of my children.

 

I do however, take on board, the other comments on the thread and want to reiterate that Geoff started the thread to share our experience and the process but it was inevitable, with such an emotive subject, that there will be varying opinions at either end of the continuum.

 

Best of luck to anyone else going through the process

 

Best of wishes

 

Tracy x :yes: