Guest Posted June 18, 2010 Share Posted June 18, 2010 Speaking as a divorced Dad, I would be devastated if my ex tried to move overseas with my Children.I do not believe it should be easy for the main care giver, usually the mother, to be able to move overseas with the kids. I would certainly take every legal step to stop this if it happened to me. Dads do have rights too , and should be able to maintain a meaningful relationship with their kids. This is impossible if they have moved overseas. Sorry for being blunt, but I tend to consider the Dad's feelings as I know how I would feel if it happened to me. Maybe you should have worked harder on the relationship you had with your children's mother? That way you could have much more control over your children's upbringing. Simples. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Parley Posted June 18, 2010 Share Posted June 18, 2010 I would just ask one question to the Mum's contemplating this. Would you still leave the country if it meant leaving your child behind ? If you answer "I could never leave my child", well then why should the Dad have this happen to them. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Illawaralad Posted June 18, 2010 Share Posted June 18, 2010 Maybe you should have worked harder on the relationship you had with your children's mother? That way you could have much more control over your children's upbringing. Simples. Sorry if this causes offence but what a load of condecending claptrap Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted June 18, 2010 Share Posted June 18, 2010 No offence caused.. But my point is true. I'd be sick to think that my kids would be taken away from me, or call someone else daddy - so I'll make damn sure my relationship with their mother works out. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest FedUp Posted June 18, 2010 Share Posted June 18, 2010 No offence caused.. But my point is true. I'd be sick to think that my kids would be taken away from me, or call someone else daddy - so I'll make damn sure my relationship with their mother works out. That's not always easy Peach. The relatioship won't only depend on your efforts, but on the OH's efforts too! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Illawaralad Posted June 18, 2010 Share Posted June 18, 2010 No offence caused.. But my point is true. I'd be sick to think that my kids would be taken away from me, or call someone else daddy - so I'll make damn sure my relationship with their mother works out. Now you put it like that, it is a good point. Not all women are easy to get on with though:biggrin:, and how thin is the line between cooperating and kissing arse? I know my brother has bretty much had to rollover and beg, and she wants to take the kids away with a bloke who made his money from internet porn. what a role model soz if I was a bit sharp before Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted June 18, 2010 Share Posted June 18, 2010 That's not always easy Peach. The relatioship won't only depend on your efforts, but on the OH's efforts too! Agreed - every woman I've met is mad. But I'd like to think I spent a long time selecting my current partner and we were together eight years before we had children. So a fairly stable relationship.. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tracy123 Posted June 28, 2010 Author Share Posted June 28, 2010 Hi All We got our CAFCASS report back over the weekend and they have recommended that we are allowed to take Jake away with us. Without going into to much detail, The main thing they are looking at is that we are doing for the right reasons and not doing it to be spiteful, that we have a plan in place for contact, that in the past we have not stopped Jake from seeing his Dad or visa versa, that the children are not known to social services or that we have not had anything to do with the police regarding anything to do with children etc… That our goals and ambitions in living in Australia are realistic and achievable. They have asked Jake what he wanted, and his concerns and fears etc, they even spoke to the school. The only recommendation she made was that we make sure we post Jake’s Dad copies of school reports and progress reports on how Jake is doing, something we would have done but forgot to include on our report. So our next step is court in 2 weeks, where hopefully the judge agrees and sides with CAFCASS. Then there is the visa process, hopefully that’s an easy one and Tracy is granted permanent residency off the bat. But not counting the chickens just yet....... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Que Sera Sera Posted June 28, 2010 Share Posted June 28, 2010 Hi All We got our CAFCASS report back over the weekend and they have recommended that we are allowed to take Jake away with us. Without going into to much detail, The main thing they are looking at is that we are doing for the right reasons and not doing it to be spiteful, that we have a plan in place for contact, that in the past we have not stopped Jake from seeing his Dad or visa versa, that the children are not known to social services or that we have not had anything to do with the police regarding anything to do with children etc… That our goals and ambitions in living in Australia are realistic and achievable. They have asked Jake what he wanted, and his concerns and fears etc, they even spoke to the school. The only recommendation she made was that we make sure we post Jake’s Dad copies of school reports and progress reports on how Jake is doing, something we would have done but forgot to include on our report. So our next step is court in 2 weeks, where hopefully the judge agrees and sides with CAFCASS. Then there is the visa process, hopefully that’s an easy one and Tracy is granted permanent residency off the bat. But not counting the chickens just yet....... Can't see the judge going against Cafcass's opinions, but I will be keeping my fingers crossed for you Geoff x Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Si T Posted June 28, 2010 Share Posted June 28, 2010 The problem with such an emotive subject as this is that all of the opinions are very valid to the persons own situation. Having read through it all I can come at it from pretty much all angles (except the mother lol). As a father I am in full agreement that I would do everything in my power for my son to not be taken to the other side of the world. But on the flip side I would be damned sure to see him as regularly as humanly possible if anything were to happen between my wife and I. For those of you who think that seeing your child every other week is sufficient, in my opinion you are deluded. As a step father I can also see it from the side of the family who want to emigrate and who genuinely want to give the child what they feel is a better life. When we first starting discussing emigrating my step daughter was in her early teens. We made the point of discussing it with her father before we mentioned it to her so that we could gauge his feelings prior to starting the process. We were fortunate that he saw why we were looking to go and gave his consent. Even though she is now eighteen and will make the decision for herself when the time comes we have still made the effort to keep him fully informed as we felt that he had that right being that he had maintained a good level of contact with her from the time he and my wife parted when she was two. From my reading of this the underlying current seems to be of a fairly absent father who has limited contact with his children and is only bothered now that the choice will no longer be his. As far as I am concerned any rights they have as the child's father is diminished by the lack of effort they have made in maintaining the relationship in the first place. On the other hand if the father has made a concerted effort to ensure they have maximised the opportunity to maintain the relationship with the child then their views should be fully taken into account and the move even delayed until the child is old enough to be able to make a fully informed choice. Just my two cents but good luck to all of you going through this as I certainly would not wish to be in the position from either side of the coin. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tracy123 Posted July 15, 2010 Author Share Posted July 15, 2010 Hi All Well just to keep everyone updated with how court is going (Or not going) Just digressing so you understand where we are up to and what was done. We were told we needed an Australian police and criminal check from Australia for our latest court hearing (as I’m Australian) and Tracy’s ex had made accusations that I had beaten up my ex wife in Australia and he had fears I would do the same when I got his son to Australia and he couldn’t protect him. Both CAFCASS and my solicitor got onto the Australian police and reports were requested!!! So we get the CAFCASS report (no police report attached) but what the CAFCASS officer said was that while no report was forthcoming, in the 6 years Tracy and I had been together there had been no reports of domestic violence and while the police check would have been good to look at she seen no reason why we couldn’t take Jake with us. Anyway we got on to our solicitor to find out if she had the police report, NO REPORT! So Tracy did the ringing around and found both our solicitor and CAFCASS had failed to contact the right department, so their requests had fallen on deaf ears…….. Anyway Tracy found out all the info on who to send it to and got contact details of that person, the cheque was sent via registered courier to the correct address and cross fingers we would have the report in time…….. On Monday Tracy called the Australian police and spoke to our contact yes they had received the request but it had only been processed and was still sitting in their hands!!!!!!! Bloody great NO report for court. BUT we had a fall back plan (could it work?) Before we can get a visa granted I need an Australian and British criminal check doing, as we are taking a child that is not mine into Australia (a new rule the Australian immigration have added) So even though no police check was forth coming for court we couldn’t take Jake with us if something shows up on either report that would put Jake in danger. (fair enough) So it was like a safe guard put in place. Our solicitor also contacted my ex wife who confirmed that in the 10 or so years we had been together I had never laid a finger on her or anyone else! Both items were sent to Tracy’s ex solicitor to consider. OK we are up to Yesterday We get to court and our solicitor contacts his solicitor and they have their chat, she comes back in and says if we drop the holiday (I’ll write another post and copy in the link) they would consider letting Jake go to Australia, his solicitor admitted that they were on the losing end…… So Tracy is called in, 5 minutes later she comes out upset, seems the judge has not read the full report so doesn’t know all the ins and outs of the case (I’m sorry I thought that was your job!!!!!) and because we don’t have the police check she won’t make a ruling……. And the other information wouldn’t be entertained, because of this Tracy’s ex said that they were still worried what the report contained so they wouldn’t agree to letting Jake go. The judge has re booked the next hearing for the 6th of August, now even if the police report shows nothing (which it will) we may have another hearing after the next one. So it’s back to the waiting game, it’s looking like getting to Australia by the end of the year or the start of the next is slipping away……. The whole reason for wanting to get there by then is so the kids can start at the start of the new school year. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
family of five Posted July 15, 2010 Share Posted July 15, 2010 Hi Geoffery, Any update on your case? Was just wondering how it was going as it been some time since this thread was started, I am about to start the whole process very soon. I have so far spent £10,000 on legal bills re custody so know how much it can all cost! I am hoping my case might be a bit easier as currently my daughter has no contact with her father, do you know if that makes it better? Many thanks Tina x Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Que Sera Sera Posted July 15, 2010 Share Posted July 15, 2010 Geoff I am in your wonderful country now which is why I have missed a lot of this thread. Its soooo worth all the stress as you know, the opportunities for the children are brilliant here and you are right to keep fighting. The only people who seem to win are the bloody legal people whether its Solicitors Judges Cafcass or the Poice Force because while this is going on for one reason or another they are all gaining. I wish you all the luck in the world for August 6th, and I hope you are back in your homeland with all the family very very soon:wubclub: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tracy123 Posted July 15, 2010 Author Share Posted July 15, 2010 Geoff I am in your wonderful country now which is why I have missed a lot of this thread. Its soooo worth all the stress as you know, the opportunities for the children are brilliant here and you are right to keep fighting. The only people who seem to win are the bloody legal people whether its Solicitors Judges Cafcass or the Poice Force because while this is going on for one reason or another they are all gaining. I wish you all the luck in the world for August 6th, and I hope you are back in your homeland with all the family very very soon:wubclub: The annoying thing is all of these things are put in place "for the best interests of the children" which I totally get and understand, but we are at the final hurdle and it seems everyone is just dragging their feet, I understand why the father is doing it (not happy but understand). But with it just dragging on, all it is doing is causing upset for everyone and that's not really in anyones bests interests. The father has admitted defeat but won't give up :arghh: even though he knows his sons wishes and been advised by his solicitor that there is a 99% chance of us getting the go ahead. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tracy123 Posted August 7, 2010 Author Share Posted August 7, 2010 Well it's taken 11 months, about £5,000 lots of tears and plenty of sleepless nights for a judge to say YES, WE CAN MOVE TO AUSTRALIA!!!!!!!! I'm going to write a step by step guide for anyone interested in what it takes to take a child with you from a previous relationship so i'll write in that post what happened at court yesterday I'd just like to thank everyone for their support :wubclub: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest The Pom Queen Posted August 7, 2010 Share Posted August 7, 2010 Well it's taken 11 months, about £5,000 lots of tears and plenty of sleepless nights for a judge to say YES, WE CAN MOVE TO AUSTRALIA!!!!!!!! I'm going to write a step by step guide for anyone interested in what it takes to take a child with you from a previous relationship so i'll write in that post what happened at court yesterday I'd just like to thank everyone for their support :wubclub: Geoff This is great news, congratulations to you both!!! It's been a long bumpy ride but you got their in the end, you will soon be able to buy me a drink:wubclub: Kate Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest36187 Posted August 7, 2010 Share Posted August 7, 2010 The blood, sweat and tears were worth it mate! Congrats! Celebrate tonight and if you get up to Brissie, I`ll buy you a beer! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest siamsusie Posted August 7, 2010 Share Posted August 7, 2010 I am thrilled for you Geoff and Tracy well done! Its good you are able to offer Jake the choice of two lovely countries and I am sure he will appreciate this later on in life. Very best wishes to you all love Susie x Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest30085 Posted August 7, 2010 Share Posted August 7, 2010 Congratulations to you and heres to a happy new life in Australia :hug: As difficult as the circumstances are for all involved - at least now they are resolved and you can move on. My very best wishes to you and yours Gill x P.S. One less Blackburn Rovers supporter is never a bad thing :wink: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest KP Nuts Posted August 7, 2010 Share Posted August 7, 2010 Congratulations to you both...... that's GREAT news finally. Well at least the visa will be a piece of cake for you and your's, compared to this, lol Well done and love to everyone xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
family of five Posted August 7, 2010 Share Posted August 7, 2010 Well done! Start packing. Tina x Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tracy123 Posted August 7, 2010 Author Share Posted August 7, 2010 Well done! Start packing. Tina x I wish...... hopefully just after Christmas :jiggy: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TaniaColin Posted August 7, 2010 Share Posted August 7, 2010 Many congratulations Geoff and Tracy on your fab news, all the very best on your new lives Tania x Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stellathedog Posted August 7, 2010 Share Posted August 7, 2010 Hi Geoff and Tracy, I have no common link with you two, other than a wish to be in oz!, but I have followed your posts all the way through. I think I am as excited as you must be to have got to the end. Well done for your perseverance and I wish you all the very best for the future, congratulations!!! It certainly sounds to me like the absolute right outcome, just can't understand the rigmarole it took to get where you are????????? Fantastic news, go, enjoy!!!!!!!!! Love Pam Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest JK2510 Posted August 7, 2010 Share Posted August 7, 2010 Congratulations!:happy_face_cowboy_w Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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