Going to court to take children out of the country.

[tracy123]

I dont know the inns and outs of tracy,s case , but I presume the complications have arisen because there is a level of contact on the part of the ex , seeing his son every second weekend which I personaly think is quite a lot and in the eyes of the court they may also have this opinion.. They have to determine what is in the best interest of the child while protecting the rights of both parents.. I think that were a parent is totaly absent and does not support the child in any way it may be a more straight forward case...

 

It might seem totaly unfair and in a lot of cases it must infuriate a parent to know there ex has so much control over future plans especially when the ex has been derelect as a parent.. but for those ex,s who have kept an acceptable level of contact and care for there children there has to be a safety net...

 

Hi Dizzy,

Writting a thread like this is very hard and I can understand why people don't do it, but when we 1st decided we wanted to move to Australia we couldn't find much info on what to expect, so it put us off going to court not knowing how things work.

When I write a thread like this I try to keep to the facts as best as I can, I'm not writting this thread for :hug: (although it's nice to know people care) but to let others know, what processes are involved, how long each stage takes and the costs involved. Part of that is talking about things we would like to keep private but to explain things, sometimes things need to be added that may come across as bitchy. But are not ment too....

I would love to write a book on what Tracy's ex is really like and let the whole world know but what does that prove? I would hate for Jake to read anything bad about his Dad because at the end of the day he only has 1 Dad and Dads should be superman to their kids not an evil villan.

We are very lucky in that we have a very strong case, so our case is based on facts and figures rather than trying to dis credit the other person. As for "complications" I don't think we have had anything worse than anyone else, maybe a full CAFCASS report but most cases will be ordered to get one of those undertaken, then there are the police reports but thats only because of "concerns" Tracy's ex has rather than being due to contact. Anything else is related to him wanting to cut down the hours spent in his care.......

 

I agree their should be "a safety net" not so much for Mum's or Dad's, but more to make sure that anything that happens is in the "best interests" of the child/ren involved. Although it is costing alot of money and is a ball ache not knowing, we understand why he is doing it and don't really have a problem that way (we do have issues at what he has said). It has more to do with a complete stranger reading a report and deciding the out come and to all intents and purpouses our future.

 

Cheers

 

Geoffrey

[Guest tiemekanga]

Hi Jodie

 

Thanks for your post. It is good to know how things affect others and does make you stop and think about the actions you maybe considering. I truely do not think I could get on a plane and leave my children behind, however, should they want to stay in the UK as they get older (they most definitely want to come with us at the moment) then I wouldnt insist they come with us.

 

I suppose what I was trying to find out was, what would be the process for the children of migrating parents to Oz, in order for them to then migrate to Oz at a later date. Is this possible? I know that dependent children have to be included on any visa whether they are travelling or not. Does this then give them an automatic right to follow that parent to Oz later or are there age restrictions on this? When they get to 18 do they have apply in their own right?

[Guest JK2510]

Hi Geoffery,

 

 

I applaud you for sharing this story as this is quite a personal event in your life and its great that you are sharing this with us so people can learn and it perhaps will aid people that are in the same boat as this information isnt just something you can google!

 

You will have to continue telling the PIO members right until the end of the event.:smile:

[Guest Mrs Wrigles]

Hi Everyone

 

I’m Tracy, Geoffrey’s better half, and he has asked me to up date this link while he is away. We don’t think we will be going to court on the 6th of May as CAFCASS have failed (yet again) to allocate a case officer in time, even though they had named an officer in the court report.

 

After waiting 4 weeks for CAFCASS to contact us and constantly being in contact with our solicitor keeping them informed and them writing letters to the named CAFCASS officer, Geoffrey got sick of waiting and rang CAFFCASS directly. Something I was happy about as to my way of thinking you don’t want to upset the people that hold your fate in their hands, however I’m glad he did.

 

It seems our solicitor after 4 weeks of sending letters and E-mail could not get in contact with him, however after 1 phone call Geoffrey had managed to speak to him directly, it turns out that he was not our case officer, even though he was named in the report, he was also named in the court order to be present at the court hearing on the 6th May something he was not aware of. He said he attends court and passes all of the cases due for allocation on to his manager, and that’s who we needed to contact.

 

It turns out his manager was not in as she was in a meeting and he should call up around lunch time, lunch time comes but she was still not back but shouldn’t be far away as she was due in the office, so he should call back in 30 minutes. When he called back it turns out she was not due in at all that day but was in the following day. The following day Geoffrey called and spoke to her, she was not aware of the case and said she would speak to the relevant person and would call us later on in the day, later on in the day Geoffrey called back, she will call you straight back was the reply, no phone call and another day wasted. The next morning Geoffrey called again and it turns out that they were not handling the case it was in a different office and he would need to speak to the manager there.

 

So he rings up that office, no reply so he calls again and again no response, he calls every half hour until lunchtime. He then calls the original office, it turns out that ALL staff from that office were at this office in a meeting and they didn’t transfer the calls, but don’t worry they would be back at their office soon. It took until 3pm before they picked up their phones, it turns out that the manager Geoffrey needed to speak to was in the office earlier on but had now left for the day and he should call back tomorrow.

 

The following day he calls up, to find out that she is running late and would be in a little late, so he calls back at 10 to find out that she was not in today as she was in a meeting all day in the midlands and he should call back tomorrow.

 

The following day he calls back at 9am to find out she was not in the office and he should call back a little later, (can you see a pattern here?) After checking that she would be in that day he hung up. At 10 am he called back and gets hold of her, she has no idea of the case and she was due in a meeting between 10 to 12, so could he leave it with her and as soon as she had a read of the case she would get back to us.

 

By 3pm Geoffrey called back, he didn’t get to speak to her but was told she was waiting for a response off one of her staff and would call him back. At 5pm Geoffrey got a call to tell him the case had been allocated to a CAFCASS officer and that she was sorry it had taken so long but she has been waiting all day for this woman to reply to her, and was still waiting for a reply. Geoffrey was also told that If she didn’t get in contact with either of us by the end of the following day to contact her and let her know.

 

The following day is here, and once again Geoffrey has been chasing up the officer heading our case, once again it has taken till just after 12 to find out she is spending the day at home writing reports and to call back tomorrow.

Even though it has been very upsetting and frustrating over the last week and a bit, at least we now a CAFCASS officer (even though she may not know it yet). I’m sure if we were waiting for our solicitor we would still be waiting and nothing would have happened.

 

My advice to anyone is not to frightened to contact CAFCASS directly, if we would of chased this up earlier I’m sure we would of still been at court on the 6th of May, just maybe we could of had the report done months ago if we had contacted them in the early stages rather than waiting and hoping. By constantly ringing he has got somewhere, if he was waiting for them to contact him I’m sure we would be waiting for the first manager to call back.

 

Wishing you all well and I would personally like to thank everyone for their well wishes and support, even though it’s not a nice experience to be putting yourself though it’s nice to know there are other people out there going through this who you can turn too for advice and support.

 

Tracy x

[Irishgirl1]

Hi Tracy and Geoffrey, just more hurdles for you guys to get through, as I said before you have both worked very hard in gathering every bit of information you could on everything about the move, which would have taken alot of research and time.

I wish you both the best of luck with the court case when you get an exact date.

hoping you get to Melbourne at the end of the year as planned.

Good luck

Take Care

 

Laney

[Guest Blandie]

Hi Tracy

 

I must say I am really not shocked by your post, Im just sorry that anyone has to go through this.

 

My children are due to have a wishes and feeling report with regards to contact, CAFCASS were instructed by my Ex's solicitors.

 

I recieved a rather shocking letter from CAFCASS of which was copied to the court, basically saying I had put my children againt my ex and that I was not co-operating with the order as alleged by my ex's, would you believe they hadent even spoken to my solictors, the children or me at this point.

 

I have since contacted them, when I finally got hold of my case worker, and I now have an appointment, although when speaker to my case office she did not even know I have already got consent to remove or that it was just a wishes and feelings report.

 

Lets just hope it goes ok on the day.

 

Wishing you all the best of luck...

[Guest Aldo]

I'm going to be Mr unpopular here but how desperate are you to get to Australia? What is there that is so special that you would want to go through so much heartache , that's on all sides. It must also be having an effect on the child.

I know as a father I would throw myself in the path of the airplane to stop my kids being taken to the other side of the earth.

Have you considered moving to a different part of the UK? No offence but Blackburn is a bit of a dump (what i've seen of it).

Have you considered all other options?

[Guest Blandie]

Hey Aldo, Yes it is very worth the heart ache, although I would be inclined to agree every father has rights.

 

Unfortunatly my ex had not seen the children for 3 years and after writting to him directly and not recieving a response I had to take the matter to court.

 

Yes it is a costly process and very stressfull it is not just on a whim that any of us go into the long hard road of getting consent, the courts would not entertain ill thought out plans and reasons.

 

My children were 5 and 1 years when they last saw thier dad, he sought a contact order at the directions hearing, after agreeing contact of which I was totally for as every child should have a father figure in thier life, he only turned up to 3 of the 7 contact sessions, my children have for obvious reasons taken badly to contact and the court ordered indirect contact and consent to remove in March this year, although he has still yet to write to the children.

 

I am not sure what my ex is trying to prove but the truth will always come out in the end, he has now requested that my children have a wishes and feelings report done as he believe's I have put the children against him.

 

I have lots of family in Oz and the children would be around lots of loving family, something we have not got in the UK.

 

Thankfully this does not hinder my application for a visa as the court have consented to the move.

 

I wish evryone that is going through this or a simular situation the very best of luck, each and everyone of us has our children in mind every step of the way, if our children were againt the desicion I am sure that half of us would not even entertain the move let alone go to the expense.

 

Regards

[Guest Mrs Wrigles]

I'm going to be Mr unpopular here but how desperate are you to get to Australia? What is there that is so special that you would want to go through so much heartache , that's on all sides. It must also be having an effect on the child.

I know as a father I would throw myself in the path of the airplane to stop my kids being taken to the other side of the earth.

Have you considered moving to a different part of the UK? No offence but Blackburn is a bit of a dump (what i've seen of it).

Have you considered all other options?

 

 

 

Hello Aldo

 

I do understand what you are saying, but this thread was put up so people can see what a family has to go through in taking a child out of the country. When we were looking at doing this ourselves we could only find limited information about the processes involved, so this is why we have put the thread up. It’s not about the rights or wrongs, or is it the right thing to do.

 

However I will go through some of the concerns you have raised.

 

Australia is my husband’s home, it is somewhere we have been and we all loved, part of going to Australia was so we as a family could experience it. We took Jake into schools where he could meet the students, the teachers and most of all the way the school system works; we also looked into clubs and other things that Jake was interested in.

This took place nearly 2 years ago, as a family we came back and talked about the move, which Jake liked the idea of, we left it for quite a while before talking about it again. We again sat down and spoke to Jake about it, the only concern he had was he didn’t want to choose where he was going to live as he didn’t want to upset his Dad or myself. But as a 9 year old it was taken out of his hands and that was something he was happy about.

After a little while he came home and said he had told his Dad he wants to give Australia a try and since then he talks about Australia often. The only promise we have made is after 12 months if he hates Australia we will return, the same rule applies to me. No matter how Geoffrey comes across on this forum he has always said if anyone of us is UN happy we will return, as he met us here it is only fair if any of us are unhappy we should return.

As for having an effect on Jake, we have an open relationship and he knows if he has any concerns we are here, and to be fair we always answer his questions truthfully as he is old enough not to be hoodwinked . We have also informed school of our plans and are in regular contact with them, and they have told us that he has not shown any changes in himself and is a very confident mature child who is happy. (We know he could be keeping it bottled up).

As for moving to another part of the country, where could we move that can give us what we want? We would need to be within 30 minutes of Manchester (that’s where his Dad lives) or other wise it would an effect on their relationship as how could he see his son every second weekend if we moved, say London way? Once again as a family it has never really entered our head to move away for the sake of moving, granted Blackburn isn’t the best area but even if we lived in the nicest place Britain offered we would still be moving.

I’m sure as a father you love your children and Geoffrey or I have never said Jake’s Dad doesn’t love him or the other way around but you need to do what you see as best for your family. We could write down the reasons why we feel their relationship wouldn’t suffer, we could also write down all of the things he has done and does do to Jake, but what is the point? It doesn’t help people find out the information to take a child out of the country. All we have tried to do is stick to the facts, and the facts are, as a father you do have a voice, you do get help and taking a child away is not as easy as saying, we are leaving goodbye! The court is there to see and listen to both sides and make a ruling.

 

I hope this helps

 

Tracy

[Guest Gollywobbler]

Hi Geoffrey and Tracy

 

I've just read through this thread for the first time. Normally with the forum I do what I do in a law office as well, and just stay away from issues concerning couples and/or their children. I've never done any Family Law either whilst I was training or after I qualified, which was nearly 30 years ago. The nearest I've been to Family Law was that it was an optional subject whilst I was a law student. I chose it as one of my optional subjects but only because most of the other optional subjects sounded worse.

 

Thanks very much for starting this thread. What you and the others have described on here is all complete news to me and I had had absolutely NO idea that it could be as bad as all of you say.

 

I take my hat off to the two of you and to all the other contributors to this thread.

 

I hope and pray that it will all be OK for all of you once the Family courts sort themselves out. (That is, once Cafcass sort themselves out, I imagine?)

 

Hugs :hug:

 

Gill

[Guest Aldo]

As for moving to another part of the country, where could we move that can give us what we want? We would need to be within 30 minutes of Manchester (that’s where his Dad lives) or other wise it would an effect on their relationship as how could he see his son every second weekend if we moved, say London way? Once again as a family it has never really entered our head to move away for the sake of moving, granted Blackburn isn’t the best area but even if we lived in the nicest place Britain offered we would still be moving.

 

so how does Australia fit in to this?

 

Sorry i know you must be going through hell (just say the word and i'll stop asking questions)

[Guest Aldo]

Hey Aldo, Yes it is very worth the heart ache, although I would be inclined to agree every father has rights.

 

Unfortunatly my ex had not seen the children for 3 years and after writting to him directly and not recieving a response I had to take the matter to court.

 

Yes it is a costly process and very stressfull it is not just on a whim that any of us go into the long hard road of getting consent, the courts would not entertain ill thought out plans and reasons.

 

My children were 5 and 1 years when they last saw thier dad, he sought a contact order at the directions hearing, after agreeing contact of which I was totally for as every child should have a father figure in thier life, he only turned up to 3 of the 7 contact sessions, my children have for obvious reasons taken badly to contact and the court ordered indirect contact and consent to remove in March this year, although he has still yet to write to the children.

 

I am not sure what my ex is trying to prove but the truth will always come out in the end, he has now requested that my children have a wishes and feelings report done as he believe's I have put the children against him.

 

I have lots of family in Oz and the children would be around lots of loving family, something we have not got in the UK.

 

Thankfully this does not hinder my application for a visa as the court have consented to the move.

 

I wish evryone that is going through this or a simular situation the very best of luck, each and everyone of us has our children in mind every step of the way, if our children were againt the desicion I am sure that half of us would not even entertain the move let alone go to the expense.

 

Regards

Hi Blandi,

Each case has to be taken on its own merits.

I (personaly) have problems being away from my kids for 3 weeks (i've tried). I would say if he hasn't seen his kids for 3 years then your well shot of him and if he wishes to see them then it should be on your terms (in aus).

My opinions are just that (opinions) so please don't take anything i say on this subject as right or wrong

[Guest Blandie]

Aldo

 

I am not saying you are right or wrong and everyone is welcome to an opinion, it was more an explanation of what people have to go through, at the heart of each one of us on here is our children, they are the most important thing in our llives and if our children didnt want this then we wouldnt fight so hard for it.

 

I commend you on your love of your children and it speaks volumes about you as a person.

 

There is so much that goes into a consent to remove application, you need knowledge of the area you wish to live, including doctors, dentists, local hospital the social aspects etc etc, it takes at least a year to compile and get to court as Tracy said we are not going into this blind, my children as Tracy's have visited the local schools been to Oz many many times, its not just about what it can offer us adults, its first and formost about our children, like Tracy i have to spoken my sons school and informed them of our plans, would you believe my son has told his teacher and all of the children in his class that he is going to be a marine biologist in australia.

 

I understand some people do things like this out of spite and to hurt the childrens farther that is why we have family courts to weed out those who do it out of spite, but all of us on here have been going through the courts for at least a year, we have all thought long and hard about the implications on our childrens life's and constantly ask them if they have any concerns.

 

I am now going to pass the buck and ask you would you stop your family's dream if your ex only saw your children for a few hours every other sunday? when they could to the same thing via skype?

 

The last time we flew back from oz my son sobbed for nearly 2 hours begging me to stay in Oz, how do you console a child that feels so strongly about something? it broke my heart when we left, we spent 5 weeks living with my brother and his children and I will be completly honest for the first time in over 3 years we felt like a true family, all the children are around the same age, they would all go to the same school, our children would not be in wrap around child care because I work full time, which in turns mean our children can do after school clubs together, they can go to thier friends for tea and have friends over for tea and most importantly live as a family.

 

This is not ment to be a digg at anyone, if anything we are here to support other members that may be going through the same, its about sharing information and personal experiences.

 

I urge anyone going through this to look up the Poel v Poel case, i attach a link for another case. you can find lots of information in the family law week.

 

Family Law Week: Payne v Payne [2001] EWCA Civ 166

 

Regards

[Guest Aldo]

 

I am now going to pass the buck and ask you would you stop your family's dream if your ex only saw your children for a few hours every other sunday? when they could to the same thing via skype?

 

 

 

TBH I don't know, i suppose it would depend on what the children had to say. The skype thing - i'm not sure that would be enough for me, it may work for others.

I'm going to stop posting on this thread and leave it for people in the same situation to exchange info.

Good luck to those currently going through al this, it must be a heart wrenching experiance (it upsets me just to read about it).

[veryhopeful]

Hi, I have posted on here before about my own challenge of getting leave to remove my three kids from the UK to go to oz.

 

Well, a year after the process started we have been to court and I now have permission. It has been an emotional and financial struggle and there were times that I too thought about giving the dad (who doesnt want the kids but doesnt want them to go to Australia) the kids 24/7. But I didnt. With the help and strength from many friends I hung in there. I had a shocking cafcass report as I was in pieces after their dad left me for someone else when my twins were babies. But I took that as a kick up the bum and put everything right and was rewarded in the end with a recommendation from cafcass that we be allowed to go.

The law is on the side of the primary carer as long as you are not being vindictive or seeking to erase the other parent from the childs life.

I hung in there through desperate times. I am now sitting here filling in the visa forms for my twins and soon we will be on our way (I HOPE!!)

 

If its what you really want then never, never give up.

[Guest guest36187]

I know as a father I would throw myself in the path of the airplane to stop my kids being taken to the other side of the earth.

 

 

(I cant believe that I am about to do this!)

 

I agree with Aldo! When this thread started I asked my husband what he would do in that position. He used to see his kids every weekend and midweek if they called and asked to come over - When mark and I were first together the kids were almost 5 and now are 22!)

My husband said (like Aldo) he would fight tooth and nail to keep his kids close to him.

For every absent father that has nothing to do with their kids, there are more Dads and steparents (like me) that are willing to stand up and fight for them!

 

Good sentiment Aldo x

[Guest tiemekanga]

Just to throw a different spin on things here.

 

Taking children to live in another country is never a decision taken lightly. There are massive emotional and financial implications for all involved. It is not right to suggest that just because a father does not see his children it makes it right to take the children abroad to live, neither does it follow that it makes it wrong to take children 'away' from a dad that sees them on a regular basis.

 

It all depends on what the children want and want is the best move for them. For their long term prospects living in a different country compared to the one they currently live in.

 

If such children were living in a third world country but had the opportunity of moving to a more settled and secure environment in a different country would it then matter what type of relationship they had with their 'absent' parent. Surely the key thing is that they would have a better lifestyle and better opportunities in a secure and caring environment. A place they could acheive their full potential.

 

The other point to consider is that the child is provided with a wealth of different experiences and options. Is able to broaden their minds and horizons.

 

Would any parent want to deny a child that??

[Guest ausssie]

Hello Mate,

 

I read your post with great interest. My wife is English, I am australian she has two kids from a previous marriage aged 8 and 10 and we have one beautiful child together.

 

We too want to migrate home to australia. Her ex sees his kids once a month to 6 weeks on weekends and does pay child support. He has though made it abundantly clear he won't take them anymore than that, help in holidays etc.

 

He is stopping us moving to australia and our problem is if he wont take them and also wont take our offer of using our child support money to pay for tickets home to see him then what are we meant to do? Just hang around for another 10 years so he can see them 10-12 times on weekends a year?

 

We dont see it as beneficial to our lives to stay in england and dont see why we should just please him. We have layed out a plan and a resolution and all he proffers up is that we cant do it and he refuses to let her move on.

 

Do you think this is likely to all fall on our hip pocket? If so what kind of cost could we be looking at?

 

Any help from anybody would be marvellous as we have scoured the internet and already been fleeced by lawyers in the beginning stages of this.

[veryhopeful]

Hi Aussie

 

WE actually were in court recently and I did get permission to go. The contact order which was made, which was by agreement mostly, so he agreed to this as did I was:

 

I have to bring the children back to the UK every other year starting next year, for at least two weeks, I have to pay for this.

 

He can have at least 4 weeks staying contact with the kids in Australia per year (more if he wants to take unpaid leave from work) but he has to pay to get to Australia

 

Unlimited emails, webcam, mail, presents etc

 

Something which I have since found out is that it is not possible to register the order in the Australian court, so any order made in the court may not be enforceable anyway (have no intention of breaching it whether or not it is registered in the Oz courts) but if you do offer to do mirror orders then it may not be possible and you might want to look into that.

 

But basically as long as you make a sensible and reasonable offer and do not look like you are trying to deny him access to his children it may well be seen as appropriate. Its a long old fight though if he is going to try and stop you, it takes a while to go through court as cafcass will get involved so if you can get his agreement that is by far the quickest way to make it happen. Its cost me, for the leave to remove court application about £8000 (but ours was complicated and you may well get it cheaper than that) You will need a barrister for a day at £250 per hour upwards plus a solicitor to do all the paperwork etc etc along the way. Its not cheap but what price freedom?

 

We are leaving the UK in August and I CANT WAIT!!!!!

[tracy123]

Hello Mate,

 

I read your post with great interest. My wife is English, I am australian she has two kids from a previous marriage aged 8 and 10 and we have one beautiful child together.

 

We too want to migrate home to australia. Her ex sees his kids once a month to 6 weeks on weekends and does pay child support. He has though made it abundantly clear he won't take them anymore than that, help in holidays etc.

 

He is stopping us moving to australia and our problem is if he wont take them and also wont take our offer of using our child support money to pay for tickets home to see him then what are we meant to do? Just hang around for another 10 years so he can see them 10-12 times on weekends a year?

 

We dont see it as beneficial to our lives to stay in england and dont see why we should just please him. We have layed out a plan and a resolution and all he proffers up is that we cant do it and he refuses to let her move on.

 

Do you think this is likely to all fall on our hip pocket? If so what kind of cost could we be looking at?

 

Any help from anybody would be marvellous as we have scoured the internet and already been fleeced by lawyers in the beginning stages of this.

 

Welcome to PIO

 

You have come to the right place as you can see lots of us are going through the same situation as yourself.

IMHO I think court is the way to go myself, I know it costs a lot but the peace of mind of knowing that the other half cant change their mind is well worth it.

Our costs are high because Tracy's ex sends at least 1 letter a fortnight and to reply to that letter it costs near on £200. The annoying thing is, is it has nothing to do with Australia what he writes about, he has seen this process as a way to bitch and moan about everything :arghh:

Anyway it's a long process so start asap, you can do it yourself as the solicitors don't really do much (well that's how it feels) but they do turn all of your ramblings into some sence LOL and they understand how everything works, but at the end of the day CAFCASS are the ones that hold the power.

All you need to prove is that the children will not suffer in all of this, that contact will be put in place and how you plan for that to happen. CAFCASS are not interested in your needs just the children, so think about this while you are getting your statements together.

 

If you want to know anything just send me a PM and we'll help out as best we can. Where do you live?

 

All the best

 

Geoffrey

[Parley]

Speaking as a divorced Dad, I would be devastated if my ex tried to move overseas with my Children.

I do not believe it should be easy for the main care giver, usually the mother, to be able to move overseas with the kids.

I would certainly take every legal step to stop this if it happened to me.

 

Dads do have rights too , and should be able to maintain a meaningful relationship with their kids.

 

This is impossible if they have moved overseas.

 

Sorry for being blunt, but I tend to consider the Dad's feelings as I know how I would feel if it happened to me.

[Illawaralad]

I have to say, all the e-mails etc in the world count for nothing, it's actual contact that retains the bond between father and child, within a year or two, he will essentially cease to be the childs father in any tangeable way. From my angle, the thought of my child calling someone else Dad makes me feel sick. I can't have an opinion as I don't know the people involved, but the sad puppy eyes and 'do this for your children' plees I would find pretty insulting.

[tracy123]

Going to CAFCASS.

We have all had our interviews now, what a nervous few weeks that was, Tracy had gone through every paper that her ex had sent, written answers to questions that maybe asked regarding her ex’s allegations and I’m sure got older in process, (don’t tell her I said that!!) All to no avail.

Tracy went in on her own and that interview lasted about an hour, the questions she was asked were more about the move to Australia and plans that we had in place than anything to do with the ex! So all of that worry was wasted….

Then it was my turn but I just joined Tracy and I was pretty much asked the same set of questions, she asked me about my ex and the relationship we had, anyway at the end of the interview she asked if we had any questions for her, so I asked her why she didn’t go down the route about my violent nature etc and she said “that in any case like this they expect their to be bitterness and try and sift through the B.S but I could be called back in depending on her interview that she had with Tracy’s ex and Jake”

The next day Tracy’s ex was interviewed, we need to wait for the report to find out what was said there!

A few days’ later it was Jake’s turn he was in there for an hour and a half on his own, Tracy said he came out happy enough and we left it there. I never got called back in so all must be well.

We get our report a week today, so we are back on edge again, I don’t know why as we can’t change anything now. We head back to court in 3 weeks for hopefully the final time but I guess we need to wait and see what the report says….

Anyway, from this whole process so far, it has totally been about Jake from our 1st plans through to CAFCASS they are not interested in anything else, this may sound like common sense to anyone reading this but when you are going through this you worry about anything and everything.

So when you get to this stage try not to worry about all of the, he said, she said. Just go in there fully focused on your child’s needs and you will breeze through, there are no bright lights shining on you, it feels very relaxed maybe a little too relaxed as you may forget things…..

As always Good luck to anyone going through this, anyone with any questions can ask via PM or on this thread

Geoffrey

[tracy123]

Speaking as a divorced Dad, I would be devastated if my ex tried to move overseas with my Children.

I do not believe it should be easy for the main care giver, usually the mother, to be able to move overseas with the kids.

I would certainly take every legal step to stop this if it happened to me.

 

Dads do have rights too , and should be able to maintain a meaningful relationship with their kids.

 

This is impossible if they have moved overseas.

 

Sorry for being blunt, but I tend to consider the Dad's feelings as I know how I would feel if it happened to me.

 

 

I have to say, all the e-mails etc in the world count for nothing, it's actual contact that retains the bond between father and child, within a year or two, he will essentially cease to be the childs father in any tangeable way. From my angle, the thought of my child calling someone else Dad makes me feel sick. I can't have an opinion as I don't know the people involved, but the sad puppy eyes and 'do this for your children' plees I would find pretty insulting.

 

While I welcome your comments, this thread is not about the rights or wrongs of taking children away, I have started this thread to help people who are starting out the long process, and what's involved.......

As you can see taking a child away is not as simple as some people may think and "the other parent" does have a voice and there are people there to listen.

[Illawaralad]

While I welcome your comments, this thread is not about the rights or wrongs of taking children away, I have started this thread to help people who are starting out the long process, and what's involved.......

As you can see taking a child away is not as simple as some people may think and "the other parent" does have a voice and there are people there to listen.

 

 

It's also an open forum:wink: