ramot Posted January 30, 2022 Share Posted January 30, 2022 21 minutes ago, HappyHeart said: My daughter says the amount of schools she attended did affect her negatively. She's 25 this year and attended 3 different primary schools and 2 high schools. Depends.on the child and external factors as to how they cope. I know I assumed.she was more resilient than she actually was. I didn’t actually say anything about changing schools not affecting children negatively . My daughter age 13 was in boarding school in Uk and we were in Brunei, trust me it wasn’t easy for either of us, I just said they have all turned out alright, and the reality is if your work involves moving around the country or world, of course it’s not ideal, but children have to adapt. Hope your daughter is ok. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HappyHeart Posted January 30, 2022 Share Posted January 30, 2022 (edited) 35 minutes ago, ramot said: I didn’t actually say anything about changing schools not affecting children negatively . My daughter age 13 was in boarding school in Uk and we were in Brunei, trust me it wasn’t easy for either of us, I just said they have all turned out alright, and the reality is if your work involves moving around the country or world, of course it’s not ideal, but children have to adapt. Hope your daughter is ok. She's absolutely fine but I was just relaying what she has told me. She wished for more stability in terms.of friendship.groups and feels her confidence suffered as a consequence. That's said shes glad she's here in Australia. We did move when she was a pre teen and in hindsight it was a difficult age. Edited January 30, 2022 by HappyHeart Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HappyHeart Posted January 30, 2022 Share Posted January 30, 2022 1 hour ago, Lavers said: Can be tricky moving around schools for some kids, I attended the same amount as your daughter and was always good being the new boy in school My son has been to 2 primaries and 2 high schools (all.in Australia) and is more settled than my daughter was at the same age so it's likely to be a combination of factors. Again though he says he wishes he went to his current school from the very beginning (its a K-yr12 school. Hindsight is a wonderful thing. I just want to get him through the next 2 years then I can relax. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Marisawright Posted January 30, 2022 Share Posted January 30, 2022 4 minutes ago, HappyHeart said: My son has been to 2 primaries and 2 high schools (all.in Australia) and is more settled than my daughter was at the same age so it's likely to be a combination of factors. Again though he says he wishes he went to his current school from the very beginning (its a K-yr12 school. Hindsight is a wonderful thing. I just want to get him through the next 2 years then I can relax. So are you advising @FairyBlue to just suck it up and resign herself to being stuck in Australia, miserably homesick, until her daughter finishes university (she's 8 now)? 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HappyHeart Posted January 30, 2022 Share Posted January 30, 2022 8 minutes ago, Marisawright said: So are you advising @FairyBlue to just suck it up and resign herself to being stuck in Australia, miserably homesick, until her daughter finishes university (she's 8 now)? Ummm...no? What gave you that idea? I haven't read their posts, I was simply responding to the one I read and quoted with my personal experience. My bad. Jeez. At 8 I wouldnt hesitate. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FairyBlue Posted January 30, 2022 Share Posted January 30, 2022 I think it so depends on the child doesn't it? Our daughter is very resilient as she has had to be, but also sensitive. I am worried that moving again might be a push too far but I think at 8 she will have opportunity to bounceback. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Marisawright Posted January 30, 2022 Share Posted January 30, 2022 1 hour ago, HappyHeart said: Ummm...no? What gave you that idea? I haven't read their posts,....At 8 I wouldnt hesitate. Ah, I wondered. I think it always pays to be careful when jumping into the middle of a thread and answering one post without checking what went before. I've done it myself and keep reminding myself not to. If you read FairyBlue's posts, you'll see why I was worried that she might be put off. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Blue Flu Posted February 4, 2022 Share Posted February 4, 2022 On 28/01/2022 at 19:55, starlight7 said: I find they never shut up, totally the opposite. Depends what circles you move in I suppose. Most certainly do. But perhaps we define conversation differently. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BeachBabe2022 Posted February 20, 2022 Share Posted February 20, 2022 On 28/01/2022 at 12:11, Dan Not Dale said: May I ask what prompts the hate? I find the people pretentious and the weather is too cold 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cup Final 1973 Posted February 20, 2022 Share Posted February 20, 2022 5 hours ago, BeachBabe2022 said: I find the people pretentious and the weather is too cold Pretentious - moi? 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bulya Posted February 20, 2022 Share Posted February 20, 2022 11 hours ago, BeachBabe2022 said: I find the people pretentious and the weather is too cold Understatement Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dan Not Dale Posted May 14, 2022 Author Share Posted May 14, 2022 On 30/01/2022 at 07:31, FairyBlue said: This is the first time I have posted so hopefully I am in the right spot here! I just need to say how much your stories all resonate with me and how I have been in a constant quandary for the last decade at least as to whether to move back. I would really appreciate your thoughts. No-one can truly understand the soul crushing predicament and homesickness that can find yourself in as an ex-pat. Particularly when you are married to an Aussie! I will say that I like Australia, but something has always been missing. I go home regularly and from the minute I land at Heathrow I feel such a deep sense of belonging. When I look at recent holiday snaps of me back in England, I can see true happiness written all over my face. I feel whole. I have wrangled with dibiltating homesickness for probably 14 of my 18 years away and had I had not got married I have no doubt I would have returned back to England long ago. My back story is I have been living, for that time, in Melbourne and NZ and am married to a proud Aussie and we have a surf & sun loving 8 year old daughter. That makes things very complicated. From 2004 I spent 6 years in Melbourne before we headed to Christchurch, NZ with work in 2010. It was truly amazing to be in NZ and I felt 'at home' for the first time in ages. Sadly we left in 2011 due to the Christchurch earthquake. I was devastated to then be moving back to Melbourne due to hubbie's work. Just devastated. Back in Melbourne and unhappy, I didn't think the UK was even a remote possibility back then and my DH had no desire to live there. So I yearned for the next best thing. To be back in Christchurch, NZ which is oh so very English. An opportunity came up and we moved back in 2019. I absolutely loved it. Our daughter started a gorgeous school and I was in love with kiwi life. The seasons, the birds, the weather. It all felt so familiar and I felt at peace..But again things came crashing down when we both lost our businesses to Covid. So again we returned to South West Victoria in 2019 where my DH's family are based. It is a beautiful part of the Australia and one where I have felt more at home than anywhere in Australia but my husband is not happy!!! He wants more to do and has a fractured relationship with his fairly painful family and would move back to Melbourne in a flash. Me never. We have been at a loss as to what to do and if we should move and so for the last 6 months we have been talking about a fresh start up in Queensland where we could settle down. The idea gathered so much momentum that, roll forward to this week, we are up here on the Sunshine Coast looking at houses and schools. We nearly bought a house this week, but all of a sudden I have realised with a screech that this is so far removed from what I want that I have pulled the pin. Amazing school and life for our daughter now down the toilet and I feel AWFUL. Absolutely awful I have let the family down. I had a stark realization, again, that all I really want is to be back in England with my family, friends and aging parents. What it has done, however, is bring up the conversation of England again and my husband, for the first time in forever, seems totally onboard and dare I say, excited. I am so worried though after all this time, that it is almost like meeting your idol you thought you would never meet. Is it going to live upto my years of want? Ah help!! Your experience resonates with me hugely. I instantly feel a sense of belonging when I arrive home. I would imaging NZ has a more of a community feel too. And I agree, we talk about other parts of the country, bigger houses, smaller houses, city, rural, blah blah. But it’s English countryside I really want. You were probably wise to change your mind. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MARYROSE02 Posted May 16, 2022 Share Posted May 16, 2022 Imagine if you were single just like me and there was no quandary about going back to England or Australia, you could just say, "Sod this, I'm leaving TODAY". I did it too, 12 years back to England, and now four months in Surfers on holiday which so far, has not ended. But would the partnered people WANT to be "Just like me?" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dan Not Dale Posted May 17, 2022 Author Share Posted May 17, 2022 16 hours ago, MARYROSE02 said: Imagine if you were single just like me and there was no quandary about going back to England or Australia, you could just say, "Sod this, I'm leaving TODAY". I did it too, 12 years back to England, and now four months in Surfers on holiday which so far, has not ended. But would the partnered people WANT to be "Just like me?" I use that scenario to evaluate what I want. If in your shoes, I’d have a flight booked and be selling up here as soon as possible. Partner and I have agreed, 12 months in UK (and see how it goes) in approximately a years time. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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