FairyBlue

I think it so depends on the child doesn't it? Our daughter is very resilient as she has had to be, but also sensitive. I am worried that moving again might be a push too far but I think at 8 she will have opportunity to bounceback.

Thank you so much everyone. I really appreciate your understanding and thoughts. Yes I am an Aussie so it does make it easier. I think you are all so right. We won't know if we don't try and to be honest this is the best window timing wise and to have hubbie on board is somewhat of a miracle. I see my parents aging and was so shocked to see them Nov just gone when I flew back to surprise them which was an amazing trip in everyway. They need us home and I would love for our daughter to reconnect with her lovely English grandparents rather than, well, my husband's infighting family. It is hard to be around and I just would love some of my side to gave a big influence on her too. I think you are right. Moving at a young age to experience different adventures offers so much more enrichment than staying put. Thank you for helping me see this more clearly. That is wonderful.

Thank you @tulip1. Yes I do have a very supportive husband - my family call him a Saint!

Thank you. Yes that's what we found. The savings negate the need to secure the £18k job. The idea being is that you are almost 'sponsoring yourself'. Oh boy. So much to think about. International relationships are very complex. A little bit like a tug of war but as you said @Marisawrightwe are also trying to navigate the village life for me and city for hubbie. My absolute dread is to uproot back to the UK and he loves it for a while then wants to come back here after a few years. We need stability for our 8 year old and I would put that ahead of everything going forward.

Thank you everyone. Where to move to is absolutely integral to our decision. We have settled on Frome as I am an artist and I think that area is pretty vibrant and hubby loves the look of it too. It is also close to Bath and Bristol which I know hubby would love. It is slap bang on the middle of family in Malvern and Winchester. We would get the spousal visa where you have to show funds as we have just sold our house. That's the idea.. in theory. Tassie I would love.

This is the first time I have posted so hopefully I am in the right spot here! I just need to say how much your stories all resonate with me and how I have been in a constant quandary for the last decade at least as to whether to move back. I would really appreciate your thoughts. No-one can truly understand the soul crushing predicament and homesickness that can find yourself in as an ex-pat. Particularly when you are married to an Aussie! I will say that I like Australia, but something has always been missing. I go home regularly and from the minute I land at Heathrow I feel such a deep sense of belonging. When I look at recent holiday snaps of me back in England, I can see true happiness written all over my face. I feel whole. I have wrangled with dibiltating homesickness for probably 14 of my 18 years away and had I had not got married I have no doubt I would have returned back to England long ago. My back story is I have been living, for that time, in Melbourne and NZ and am married to a proud Aussie and we have a surf & sun loving 8 year old daughter. That makes things very complicated. From 2004 I spent 6 years in Melbourne before we headed to Christchurch, NZ with work in 2010. It was truly amazing to be in NZ and I felt 'at home' for the first time in ages. Sadly we left in 2011 due to the Christchurch earthquake. I was devastated to then be moving back to Melbourne due to hubbie's work. Just devastated. Back in Melbourne and unhappy, I didn't think the UK was even a remote possibility back then and my DH had no desire to live there. So I yearned for the next best thing. To be back in Christchurch, NZ which is oh so very English. An opportunity came up and we moved back in 2019. I absolutely loved it. Our daughter started a gorgeous school and I was in love with kiwi life. The seasons, the birds, the weather. It all felt so familiar and I felt at peace..But again things came crashing down when we both lost our businesses to Covid. So again we returned to South West Victoria in 2019 where my DH's family are based. It is a beautiful part of the Australia and one where I have felt more at home than anywhere in Australia but my husband is not happy!!! He wants more to do and has a fractured relationship with his fairly painful family and would move back to Melbourne in a flash. Me never. We have been at a loss as to what to do and if we should move and so for the last 6 months we have been talking about a fresh start up in Queensland where we could settle down. The idea gathered so much momentum that, roll forward to this week, we are up here on the Sunshine Coast looking at houses and schools. We nearly bought a house this week, but all of a sudden I have realised with a screech that this is so far removed from what I want that I have pulled the pin. Amazing school and life for our daughter now down the toilet and I feel AWFUL. Absolutely awful I have let the family down. I had a stark realization, again, that all I really want is to be back in England with my family, friends and aging parents. What it has done, however, is bring up the conversation of England again and my husband, for the first time in forever, seems totally onboard and dare I say, excited. I am so worried though after all this time, that it is almost like meeting your idol you thought you would never meet. Is it going to live upto my years of want? Ah help!!