It’s a sad post 🙁

[Coxy7]

Hello.

I know you don’t know me but I’m not on social media (I know this is social media but it feels a bit more anonymous) and I don’t generally post publicly about my life but I feel I have to write this down.

My dog died yesterday, he had to go to sleep. Just on his own with the vet and the nurse. In the UK humans are not currently allowed in the surgery with the animals at all, under any circumstances because of lockdown.

He was 13. He was actually an Australian. We adopted him from the rescue centre when he was 11 months old and brought him to the UK with us when we decided to come back. I actually think he liked it better here because it wasn’t too hot for him and he could go for longer walks anytime of day or night and he got to see the snow, an awful lot of it in January there so that was nice for him, he had fun. He was a Labrador so clever but also very silly and funny and handsome with the best face and ears you’ve ever seen. His little eyelashes were so blonde and his eye contact so intense. Of course you could absolutely not get peace to eat, you couldn’t put a slipper on the floor and you couldn’t have nice furry winter boots that weren’t covered with his slobber. If you dropped a scarf or hat on the floor it too was in his mouth and all gooey. He never got old, always a puppy.

He had hard times. He saw me through post natal depression, which I hate because I feel he got the brunt of it. He never got hit or anything like that but I felt I couldn’t cope with him and the baby at the same time and used to think a lot about rehoming him. When the baby was a baby he never got walked like he should have, he missed meals, probably got shouted at for being in the wrong place. The PND was a blur but I remember feeling guilty and still do feel guilty for having those thoughts that I should just rehome him. No matter what I thought, no matter what I did, no matter how late he got fed, no matter how low down the pecking order he was he was still always happy to see me and beside me everywhere.
 

After a while I was able to make it work again. My girls and my boy were all best friends and I was their mum and my husband was always there trying to make everything alright, being their dad. That’s how it went for what feels like forever now. Everyone just being a family. The girls were very good, always taught from tots not to poke or tease, pull tails or ears and he was respected like a dog should be.

Then he got old. Full of fatty lumps like lots of labradors, tripping up and sometimes falling but generally he was good, had a breathing problem (laryngeal paralysis)but was coping fine, then he got this one fatty lump. We took him to the vet 13 days ago just to check it was a fatty lump because it had grown so fast and was like a golf ball. The vet reassured us it was just another fatty lump but because it was growing so fast it might ulcerate. I thought ok, that’s probably going to take a few months. 10 days later the lump was like a black and purple swollen tennis ball. My poor dog can’t lie down and is pacing around and panting constantly. The vet can’t come out because of COVID and can’t give us an appointment for 2 days. It was a horrible, terrible time. My husband had to physically lift him to lie him down to get him some rest. He occasionally fell asleep which was good.

Eventually we got to the vet. We were pretty sure anyway what the vet would say.

I just wish he could have had someone he knew with him. I wish he didn’t have to go through the trauma of trying to get into the car and the journey there. But I’m relieved he’s not suffering. I really thought he had months not days. I hope he wasn’t too scared and I really hope he knows how much we loved him even though we couldn’t be there at the very end.

 I know that many many people have died and are dying alone just now because of COVID and I’m not taking the devastation of that away from anyone. I have watched the news in tears at the sadness of the deaths and the circumstances people are in.
 

This is just my dog’s remembrance story, he was such a beautiful boy

[Toots]

So sorry about your beatiful boy.  Losing such an important part of the family is never easy.

[Parley]

Very sad. Perhaps you could share a photo of him.

[Freemantle]

..and that is where the saying comes from "a man's best friend is his dog"! I resonated with your very sad story and may he rest in peace in a better place! He gave you his best as you did and I am sure he adored your little family. Our staffie was two days from boarding a flight from Tasmania to Perth a few months ago  when he was diagnosed with cancer and I had to to put him down within a couple of days. He too was a rescue boy after having had a dreadful life, these wonderful members of our family dont forget their previous hardships and give you 100% loyalty and love. We had a wonderful vet and practice nurses and I was  fortunate enough to be with him  right to the end along with close friends as my husband couldnt get back due to Covid fifo restrictions. I am sure the nurses comforted and stroked your lad until he felt no more.  Please dont beat yourself up over it, you have done the kindest thing possible and he wouldnt have felt much during the procedure. Covid has been so unkind to sick humans etc.  I cant imagine what it would be like to have a dying relative and cant be with them until the end.  As one of my closest friends a vet who was with me when he passed said " I wish we as humans could go as quickly and painlessly as our animals" !  Our boy  is now overlooking the River Tamar at Windemere covered in Lavender we planted, at peace! Smile at your wonderful memories of him Coxy, talk about him with the family, frame some pictures of the lad, he will always be part of your family.. a very special part of your lives xx

Edited March 15, 2021 by Freemantle

[newjez]

People always assume I'm not an animal lover because I don't have a dog. But I loved the dogs I had as a child and I fully intend to get one when I retire and I can afford the time to devote to her (I've always had female dogs).

There is something very special about owning a dog. It can be a much closer bond than you have with people, and it can be soul destroying when they pass.

I expect after covid there may be a glut of rescue dogs, as I lot of people got dogs to cope with lockdown. 

[Quoll]

(((Hugs))) to you - my sympathies because they really are such wonderful loyal creatures and your chap will have known you for the mummy he loved to bits even through all your troubles.  We lost a 14 yr old heeler/kelpie cross just over a month ago and although she was "only" our son's dog, we all miss her immensely.  Be happy that you gave your lad a great life - far far better than he would have had anywhere else and he knew he was loved.

[Coxy7]

Thank you for your acknowledgments and replies. It’s nice to feel that there are dog people out there. I’m so sorry for your loss @Freemantle and @Quoll it is such a sadness and the grief is no less than if it had been anyone else in the family. @Freemantle that must have been even more terrible because you weren’t expecting it and had plans and a future for him and @Quoll my mum used to call our dog her Granddog (or Granddug because she’s from the west of Scotland) and she’s sad too, so I understand.

Big love to everyone who’s lost a loved one.

@Parley this is our boy.

[Parley]

Lovely boy. Very sorry for your loss.

[Freemantle]

2 hours ago, Coxy7 said:

Thank you for your acknowledgments and replies. It’s nice to feel that there are dog people out there. I’m so sorry for your loss @Freemantle and @Quoll it is such a sadness and the grief is no less than if it had been anyone else in the family. @Freemantle that must have been even more terrible because you weren’t expecting it and had plans and a future for him and @Quoll my mum used to call our dog her Granddog (or Granddug because she’s from the west of Scotland) and she’s sad too, so I understand.

Big love to everyone who’s lost a loved one.

@Parley this is our boy.

What a gorgeous lad, such character and such n intelligent kind face... xx thank you for sharing his picture xx

 

[ali]

Sorry to hear about the loss of your boy - Hugs xx

[Coxy7]

10 hours ago, newjez said:

People always assume I'm not an animal lover because I don't have a dog. But I loved the dogs I had as a child and I fully intend to get one when I retire and I can afford the time to devote to her (I've always had female dogs).

There is something very special about owning a dog. It can be a much closer bond than you have with people, and it can be soul destroying when they pass.

I expect after covid there may be a glut of rescue dogs, as I lot of people got dogs to cope with lockdown. 

I think you might be right. I’m worried about the mass dog ownership during lockdown. I don’t think it will be a good outcome for every dog, I’ve heard it’s already started - the handing back of some of the pups. Oddly, everyone I’ve heard of who got a dog during lockdown got a puppy, I don’t know anyone who got a rescue. Hopefully there will be more good outcomes than bad and be homes for them if they do need rescued.

I’m kind of a boy dog person (probably a bit sexist like that). We had boy dogs growing up and in the wider family I only remember one girl dog. She was lovely, I just remember the boys better. It’s good there are people for each gender, and probably people who are not fussy.

I also think you’re right about the bond. Not saying I’m not a people person but friends aren’t my strongest point and animals never judge you, hurt your feelings or say unkind stuff. My husband is the same, I know the dog was absolutely a bond he’d never had before, and he was his first ever dog and his grief is palpable and hard to see. He certainly never expected a bond like that, not having come from a dog family.

 

[Tulip1]

He looks lovely. He had a wonderful long life with a family that loved him, many are not so lucky.  Don’t dwell on that short period you struggled.  Your dog wouldn’t have wanted to be anywhere else.  He had what mattered most to him, the family he loved.

Edited March 15, 2021 by Tulip1

[Caramello]

So sorry((( You really had so clever and beautiful dog. I understand you, fewer years ago our favorite cat passed (british shorthair, 12 years old). Hugs to you.

It will be hard not to hear familiar sounds in your home. It will take a time to overcome it. Maybe then you can get a new pet - a dog or a cat, or even more exotical being.

We took a kitten that year. It has opposite character, it`s a truly bully, but we love it) And we love and remember our late cat too.