Moving home with older kids

[Tulip1]

2 hours ago, Marisawright said:

Were ready meals common when you left the UK?   I was amazed at the range when we were back in 2015, I'd never seen anything like it.  

The cheap ones are really unhealthy, full of fillers and salt and sugar.  I've read articles by experts, concernd that they're doing awful things to people's health.    You'd be hard pressed to find any actual meat in them!   However, the ready meals at the top of the range are very impressive.  I still miss the Marks & Spencer and Waitrose meal deals (which included main, a dessert or starter and a bottle of wine).  

I didn't expect to like them, as my tastes have changed so much since I left the UK.   I'm much more likely to make grilled or pan-fried meat or fish with salad or fresh veggies, or a stir-fry.  

Those dine in for 2 deals from M&S are very popular.  Such good value and tasty and you get a bottle of wine as well.  Bargain.

[MARYROSE02]

On 17/12/2020 at 09:06, starlight7 said:

I guess we are lucky in that now all our immediate and expanding family is here in Australia.  We started off with 2 kids when we emigrated, had 2 more born here and they have multiplied and multiplied such that we feel part of a dynasty now. Only cousins live in the UK now and a brother who we never saw anyway. Makes a difference I am sure because the ties back have gone now our parents have all died. It was hard when they were living because they didn't get to see their grandchildren that often and partings at the airport were dire.One of the worst things was when they used arrive and how they had aged because we hadn't seen them for a while- I always wanted to cry but kept it zipped so it didn't upset them. It is strange being first generation Aussies but there are a lot of us about!

When I arrived at the airport, usually Heathrow, and my parents were waiting for me, my first thought was the regret of having to say goodbye again in five or six week's time. Then two or three days before I was due to leave England, it no longer felt like I was on holiday.

At the airport they would come in for a pot of tea - they usually brought packed sandwiches from home - the teapots always seemed to leak when you poured the tea too - and then they would leave the airport before I went through Departures, to lessen the pain of goodbye I guess.

Not very grammatical my using "dashes" instead of commas or a new sentence.

[MARYROSE02]

14 hours ago, Drumbeat said:

MaryRose, when I read your posts I always feel you are someone at peace with yourself 

I often read on forums like PIO about people coming to Australia to "live the dream", and I always thought "sod the dream, I'm just 'living"", not living the nightmare of course, which seems to be the unhappy lot of some of us, but both good and bad times. Since coming to Surfers Paradise in July for the first time in thirty years living in OZ, I can believe it is possible to "live the dream?"

Surfers Paradise is not for everyone of course but for me it seems that everything I need within walking distance which has never happened before. Surry Hills was nice, very central too but the beaches are seven kilometres away, and the supermarkets are far enough away to make walking even with two bags a chore.

Here the tram stop at Cavill Avenue is 20 metres walk from the entrance to my apartment block with the cafe we go to even closer. Just over the road and about 100 metres away is a Woolies supermarket, along with a variety of other shops, bars, cafes, etc,  and the beach is 300 metres away.  From where I am sitting I can see the white foam of the waves breaking on the sand. My GP and dentist is five minutes walk, and most of the other places I might need I can get to on the excellent tram service which runs every 15 minutes or so in each direction.

I've had the odd health worry since I've been up here and Covid-19 is like a malevolent cloud always threatening to block out the sun. It HAS blocked out the Sydney sun? The reason I came up to Surfers Paradise in July was the fear of enduring another lockout on my own in Sydney.

I do like it up here and have no desire to return to Surry Hills, or England!

 

[starlight7]

Surfers has a nice feel about it, doesn’t it ? Though the media tries to make it sound like a hotbed of crime ( sheer jealousy on their part I am sure). I have only been up there as a tourist but I thought the people were really friendly and relaxed . Just to make you feel righteous - I used to teach - eng. lit. Shocking - the drop in standards. Dashed awful.

[MARYROSE02]

10 minutes ago, starlight7 said:

Surfers has a nice feel about it, doesn’t it ? Though the media tries to make it sound like a hotbed of crime ( sheer jealousy on their part I am sure). I have only been up there as a tourist but I thought the people were really friendly and relaxed . Just to make you feel righteous - I used to teach - eng. lit. Shocking - the drop in standards. Dashed awful.

Blame postmodernists and critical theory on the drop in standards perhaps? "Truth is subjective?" "One and One equals whatever you want it to be?!

Seriously, I learnt the basics at infants and junior school and I was poor at grammar school - beyond useless at maths and the sciences BUT I knew my tables and I knew the difference between say, "there" and "their", and where to put full stops and commas, if not exactly where and when to use a semi colon or a colon!?

Some of the grammar and punctuation I see in some of my fellow students' work is horrible. Odd thing is that when you are typing in Word or even here in PIO if you misspell something it comes up underlined in red, but they do not see it. See, I spelt "misspell" with one "s"? or should it be "s?"

Parts of Cavill Ave remind me of Kings Cross in its heyday before the lock out laws and it is mayhem in Orchid Avenue outside the clubs but mostly a civilized sort of mayhem. Without being too "sniffy" about "sink" estates. most parts of Surfers Paradise consist of private homes so you do not see too many "lowies!" (Great Aussie word. Is there a good Pommy one? Chavs? Mrs Slocum saying "How COMMON?!")

Edited December 20, 2020 by MARYROSE02

[Wanderer Returns]

On 17/12/2020 at 00:46, MARYROSE02 said:

True, but most of them also have direct family still living in England. I don't know of course, but if their entire family moved to Australia would they still want to move back to England? I missed my parents desperately when they were in England but when they were out here I had no desire to go back to England.

Same here. Missed my mum and felt guilty about being here until we went back to the UK to take care of her, and loved it when she came over here for a month in 2007. Would've been happy if she could've stayed longer, and most of us don't usually say that about out mothers visiting! I can't deny that I still miss things about the UK (in addition to the ready-meals), but nothing like when my mum was still alive.

[Wanderer Returns]

2 hours ago, starlight7 said:

Surfers has a nice feel about it, doesn’t it ? Though the media tries to make it sound like a hotbed of crime ( sheer jealousy on their part I am sure). I have only been up there as a tourist but I thought the people were really friendly and relaxed . Just to make you feel righteous - I used to teach - eng. lit. Shocking - the drop in standards. Dashed awful.

I think the use of dashes has arisen because people don't know whether to use a comma or a semicolon - but in my case it's because I'm just plain lazy 

[Wanderer Returns]

18 hours ago, Paul1Perth said:

You're not destroying your kids lives, the 18 year old will get new friends in the UK and if you're feeling that bad he'll just have to put up with it. He's likely to throw a wobbly and be nasty at his age, they don't know what they're saying half the time.

Pity about the apprenticeship as it's a great opportunity. My son is a sparkie, FIFO since his early 20's and earns serious money on an oil rig, along with good holidays. Unfortunately those opportunities don't exist in the UK but something might turn up for him.

No sense in staying if you're that depressed, the kids will just have to get used to the idea.

The son is 18 so he isn't a kid, although I imagine if he was dictated to by unsupportive and unsympathetic parents he probably would through a wobbly and get nasty. Fortunately the OP seems to have a bit more tact

 

18 hours ago, Paul1Perth said:

Chesterfield is my home town. Loved growing up there TBH, went straight into an apprenticeship with the NCB when I left school, just about all my school friends did apprenticeships too, Markham works, Donkins, big Engineering companies. 

All gone though now, god knows what young kids leaving school do in that area now.

The town was always a bit rough but you knew people in every pub and nightclub you went in, specially if you played football as I did for years.

My Sister and nieces moved away as jobs and opportunities were disappearing for her kids. Took a long time to get the parents to move to nearer to her and the nieces.

Bit depressing when I was there last, a bit run down and still pretty rough to go out for a pint at night.

Moved away in my 30's to go back to uni for a computer science degree and then lived near Manchester when I finished that, before we emigrated.

A lot of the North of England has never recovered from Margaret Thatchers era.

You might be pleased to hear that Chesterfield has had something of an urban regeneration in recent years. The town centre hasn't changed that much, and still has plenty of character - and characters! There's been a lot of commercial development in the old industrial areas you mentioned, including the football ground moving from Saltergate (which is now all houses, of course). The 'Brampton mile' along Chatsworth Road is still a thing, but only has about a dozen pubs to choose from instead of 20, so you can just about do them all in one night without ending up in hospital - unless you upset someone en route. That aspect of Chessie unfortunately hasn't changed!

Edited December 20, 2020 by Wanderer Returns

[Toots]

1 hour ago, Wanderer Returns said:

Same here. Missed my mum and felt guilty about being here until we went back to the UK to take care of her, and loved it when she came over here for a month in 2007. Would've been happy if she could've stayed longer, and most of us don't usually say that about out mothers visiting! I can't deny that I still miss things about the UK (in addition to the ready-meals), but nothing like when my mum was still alive.

When I went back to the UK it was mainly to see my Mum.  Since she died i just don't have the same pull to return for a visit.

[Toots]

54 minutes ago, Wanderer Returns said:

I think the use of dashes has arisen because people don't know whether to use a comma or a semicolon - but in my case it's because I'm just plain lazy 

I use dashes a lot.  Yep, just plain lazy.   

[Wanderer Returns]

6 minutes ago, Toots said:

I use dashes a lot.  Yep, just plain lazy.   

And let's be honest - they look better too!

[Toots]

2 hours ago, MARYROSE02 said:

Blame postmodernists and critical theory on the drop in standards perhaps? "Truth is subjective?" "One and One equals whatever you want it to be?!

Seriously, I learnt the basics at infants and junior school and I was poor at grammar school - beyond useless at maths and the sciences BUT I knew my tables and I knew the difference between say, "there" and "their", and where to put full stops and commas, if not exactly where and when to use a semi colon or a colon!?

Some of the grammar and punctuation I see in some of my fellow students' work is horrible. Odd thing is that when you are typing in Word or even here in PIO if you misspell something it comes up underlined in red, but they do not see it. See, I spelt "misspell" with one "s"? or should it be "s?"

Parts of Cavill Ave remind me of Kings Cross in its heyday before the lock out laws and it is mayhem in Orchid Avenue outside the clubs but mostly a civilized sort of mayhem. Without being too "sniffy" about "sink" estates. most parts of Surfers Paradise consist of private homes so you do not see too many "lowies!" (Great Aussie word. Is there a good Pommy one? Chavs? Mrs Slocum saying "How COMMON?!")

I worked with post grad students and collated all their letters of special consideration at exam time.  I was very surprised at the grammar and spelling in many of the letters.  Pretty poor in many cases.

Got to say if I am typing quickly, I do get their and there mixed up at times but a quick proof read fixes that unless I'm on PIO and I press the 'submit reply' button without checking.  

[starlight7]

I like using dashes because it is more like actual speech on a forum. In an essay or presentation they wouldn’t be so good . These days things are a lot more informal, especially here in Australia. We were always taught to use ‘one’ rather than ‘I’ but to me that sounds incredibly snobbish and smacks of that nasty British class system which we so despised when we lived there.

 

 

 

[Paul1Perth]

14 hours ago, Marisawright said:

Were ready meals common when you left the UK?   I was amazed at the range when we were back in 2015, I'd never seen anything like it.  

The cheap ones are really unhealthy, full of fillers and salt and sugar.  I've read articles by experts, concernd that they're doing awful things to people's health.    You'd be hard pressed to find any actual meat in them!   However, the ready meals at the top of the range are very impressive.  I still miss the Marks & Spencer and Waitrose meal deals (which included main, a dessert or starter and a bottle of wine).  

I didn't expect to like them, as my tastes have changed so much since I left the UK.   I'm much more likely to make grilled or pan-fried meat or fish with salad or fresh veggies, or a stir-fry.  

I don't think they were. My wife did most of the shopping but I can't remember seeing many at all.

We have an IGA 2 min walk from the house and not many in there. Their fresh food is very good though.

[MARYROSE02]

4 hours ago, starlight7 said:

I like using dashes because it is more like actual speech on a forum. In an essay or presentation they wouldn’t be so good . These days things are a lot more informal, especially here in Australia. We were always taught to use ‘one’ rather than ‘I’ but to me that sounds incredibly snobbish and smacks of that nasty British class system which we so despised when we lived there.

 

 

 

As long as you don't start saying "youse!"

[starlight7]

I think those ready meals they have in the UK are insidiously making their way into Coles. Not a good thing, just too easy.

[starlight7]

25 minutes ago, MARYROSE02 said:

As long as you don't start saying "youse!"

Never in our part of Melbourne!

[Freemantle]

1 hour ago, starlight7 said:

I think those ready meals they have in the UK are insidiously making their way into Coles. Not a good thing, just too easy.

I have never tasted anything like a M &S  or Waitrose meal with any simularity  here in Australia. People do work, have busy lives etc and to have a decent chilled meal from the supermarket isnt a sin. Even if you are retired but been away for the day, it can  be nice to pop something decent into the over/microwave and actually enjoy it. "just too easy" can be pleasant if its authentic ! I try not to buy anything from Coles or Woolworths  other than Lawsons bread, and non perishables and shop around to local butchers/fish mongers /greengrocers and great Italian  delicatessens who offer quality and variety here in WA.

[Skani]

13 hours ago, starlight7 said:

I like using dashes because it is more like actual speech on a forum.

I use dashes often on PIO because I treat it as an informal  conversation.  A more formal or official setting would definitely involve a different writing style.

[MARYROSE02]

On 15/12/2020 at 17:41, s713 said:

The problem with moving country to country, whichever way round you're doing it, is that if everyone isn't on board it stands a fair chance of failure. That's not to say you shouldn't try, it's just the reality of the situation. We were in Australia for 11 years and I wanted to leave after 4 or 5. My wife loved it back then and I knew even attempting to talk her into moving back to the UK wouldn't work, if we'd have moved back she would have found fault with every little thing, I knew it. So, I stuck it out until she arrived at the same point I had, took a while but it has meant that our move back now is fully embraced and enjoyed by both of us. I don't know if this helps you but if your lad is happy where he is, it could be an issue. He might never want to move back. And he is 18.

How did you know that she would arrive at the same point as you?! Unusual in a way to like it after five years then dislike it after ten years? Or maybe not? I don't know. Are you both "on the same cliche - page!:now?

I've never been in a relationship but i have never felt so strongly about either Australia or England that I would object to moving back if my (imaginary) partner was unhappy. I might baulk at returning to England now when it seems that, with a couple of exceptions, we are doing Covid-19 much better.

On the other hand, although I'm sometimes lonely, the thought of having to do what someone else wants to do, "as a couple" to "maintain appearances scares me frankly!  (Which of course is WHY I am single!?)

[MARYROSE02]

17 hours ago, Wanderer Returns said:

I think the use of dashes has arisen because people don't know whether to use a comma or a semicolon - but in my case it's because I'm just plain lazy 

I usually have no problem with commas and  after editing I can go back to shorten those tediously long sentences. Semi colons are when there's a sort of half break not worthy of either comma or full stop?  "I went to the shops but it was busy?" "I went to the shops; it was busy?" I went to the shops. It was busy." Definitely not a full stop.

Just a few weeks ago, during my upteenth writing unit, I suddenly had the idea to record myself reading out both my own and other students' work, and sharing it. I don't know why I never thought of doing it before. When a sentence is too long you "stumble" and if the sentence is a "tongue twister". For another writer it gives a new perspective to hear someone else delivering your lines. I thought my voice was awful too but a friend says it sounds "right".

[MARYROSE02]

2 hours ago, Skani said:

I use dashes often on PIO because I treat it as an informal  conversation.  A more formal or official setting would definitely involve a different writing style.

Before I submit an assignment I go through my work carefully (though sometimes not carefully enough) and I use the spell checker. With a spell checker one problem is if your word processing programme/program is set up to Australian or American English. Pick the "wrong" version and you get "color" and "center" (which I noticed are both underlined in red!) If you don't now the difference and you don't notice the words underlined in red - "red flags!" - well, you are stuffed. Ditto if you spell their as there because the spell checker will not pick that up.

If you have not heard of this guy - David Crystal - he talks about the effect of texting on writing:

https://youtu.be/Boj8VYzDAy8

[Paul1Perth]

19 hours ago, Wanderer Returns said:

The son is 18 so he isn't a kid, although I imagine if he was dictated to by unsupportive and unsympathetic parents he probably would through a wobbly and get nasty. Fortunately the OP seems to have a bit more tact

 

You might be pleased to hear that Chesterfield has had something of an urban regeneration in recent years. The town centre hasn't changed that much, and still has plenty of character - and characters! There's been a lot of commercial development in the old industrial areas you mentioned, including the football ground moving from Saltergate (which is now all houses, of course). The 'Brampton mile' along Chatsworth Road is still a thing, but only has about a dozen pubs to choose from instead of 20, so you can just about do them all in one night without ending up in hospital - unless you upset someone en route. That aspect of Chessie unfortunately hasn't changed!

My parents lived  in stonegravels when I was born, very close to the old saltergate ground, so spent many a Saturday afternoon watching them play.

Used to be in 3rd or 4th division then, haven't they been relegated to non league football now? It's a pity, nice ground and better facilities and average league where they must really struggle to bring in the cash.

I remember the Brampton mile well, my locals in town used to be the market, Gardners, Queens Park hotel but used to move with the crowd as it got later towards Jingles or Adam and Eve nightclubs. That was days of pubs closing at 11:00pm and clubs being open till 2:00am of course. The football in the Sunday League morning game was a bit of a struggle sometimes.

[Wanderer Returns]

2 hours ago, Paul1Perth said:

My parents lived  in stonegravels when I was born, very close to the old saltergate ground, so spent many a Saturday afternoon watching them play.

Used to be in 3rd or 4th division then, haven't they been relegated to non league football now? It's a pity, nice ground and better facilities and average league where they must really struggle to bring in the cash.

I remember the Brampton mile well, my locals in town used to be the market, Gardners, Queens Park hotel but used to move with the crowd as it got later towards Jingles or Adam and Eve nightclubs. That was days of pubs closing at 11:00pm and clubs being open till 2:00am of course. The football in the Sunday League morning game was a bit of a struggle sometimes.

Yes, Chesterfield got relegated from League 2 (old 4th Division) to the Conference league in 2018. Bit sad - can't see a way back for them now.

Adam and Eve - now there's a blast from the past! I recall it was the nightclub you went to if you couldn't get into Jingles or the Aquarius   It's a Thai restaurant now called the Siam Palace. I lived on the Matlock side back in the 1980s, so the Pavilion at Matlock Bath was where I spent most of my misspent youth. Chesterfield required an expensive taxi home, so that was usually reserved for special occasions. Happy days, hey?!  

[Paul1Perth]

2 hours ago, Wanderer Returns said:

Yes, Chesterfield got relegated from League 2 (old 4th Division) to the Conference league in 2018. Bit sad - can't see a way back for them now.

Adam and Eve - now there's a blast from the past! I recall it was the nightclub you went to if you couldn't get into Jingles or the Aquarius   It's a Thai restaurant now called the Siam Palace. I lived on the Matlock side back in the 1980s, so the Pavilion at Matlock Bath was where I spent most of my misspent youth. Chesterfield required an expensive taxi home, so that was usually reserved for special occasions. Happy days, hey?!  

I had a long term girlfriend from Matlock, my mini cooper knew it's own way there and back on the back roads. 

The Aquarius was always a bit posh for me as you required a tie to get in. On the wrong side of Chesterfield too, I lived in North Wingfield for years. Jingles and Adam & Eve always had that undercurrent that something was going to kick off. I used to like that feeling funny enough, part of growing up there.

The last bus if you didn't go to the nightclub very often only got as far as the police station and you had to walk from there.

Waiting for a taxi after the nightclubs turned out at 2:00am was interesting. Used to be safer walking the 4 miles home.

Great times though and some very good friends from those times.

We started going to Sheffield regularly at weekends.