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How Long before you realised that Australia was or was not the place that you wanted to spend the rest of your days ?

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1 hour ago, HappyHeart said:

I don't recognise your description or experiences of life in Perth (and I live quite near to Joondalup) but fair play to.you, you must not hang around if it falls short of expectations and needs. Glad you got back to a place that is more suitable for you as a family. Difficult when 1 is not sold on the idea and other partner is happy. 

For us we've been here 12 years and not 'bored' yet- far from it, there are not enough weekends in the year for us to tick off our things to do list. We have a 'day out' and a home day most weekends we are both off work. I don't know. We can see the same things but through different lenses. It just wasn't meant to be. 

Yeah, these are just my experiences, for some people it's completely different. That's what makes the world go around.

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1 hour ago, s713 said:

We lived in Joondalup (unfortunately). When we moved there, it was advertised as the new satellite town to Perth that was going to bring jobs and attractions. Nothing of the sort transpired. We moved to Perth as the wife's family had moved over piecemeal before us, so there were more in Perth than left in the UK. Wife missed them so we moved, other than that I had never had thoughts of emigrating. I enjoyed it for 2 or 3 years, was very meh about it for 2 or 3 then spent 4 years hating it. Eventually the wife did as well so we moved back.

Joondalup is a horrible ghost town of a place. There's a couple of things to do like wall-climbing and stuff but other than the beach, people seem to head to Hillarys. The pubs and restaurants are mid-low quality, there are some OK walks within driving distance but other that I struggled. Swan Valley and The Hills was OK now and then.

It wasn't just the kids in the family that were stuck. By the time we left, my Mum and Dad had been 6 times and were in no hurry to come back. For such an expensive holiday it had started to become far too samey, a rotation of beach, Mandurah, Swan Valley, Hills, Freo, City, Busselton etc. It's great for a couple of years but after that???

And again it comes back to lack of research.  Why didn’t you understand that before moving there?  Australia is built around the east coast, WA is isolated and limited.  

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4 hours ago, HappyHeart said:

I don't recognise your description or experiences of life in Perth (and I live quite near to Joondalup)

That is what makes us all different Happy heart, as has been previously pointed out, an individuals view is by nature subjective, I accept that someone else may not see or feel the same as me and at the same time I can understand and accept  their own point of view, however that does not make my own view and thoughts any less valid, we all see through different eyes and experience different things 😀

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9 hours ago, s713 said:

Hillarys was Perth in a microcosm for me, bit sanitized and manufactured, not much atmos, suited to age groups 0-13 and 60+, and very samey. I thought it novel at first but after a while, I avoided it completely. I think we overdid it due to lack of options, same with the Aquarium which is great but not when you're forced to do it regularly because the kids can't think of anything else.

The slides were fun but they don’t have them anymore.  I like a trip to Hilarys when I’m there but I guess it’s like most places, you don’t want to go all the time. I do love the ice cream place there where they smash your choice of chocolate into it.  The crazy golf is good and hasn’t changed in all the many years I’ve been going. I can hear that guillotine at the end now - ‘don’t forget to pick up your head’

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19 hours ago, Bulya said:

And again it comes back to lack of research.  Why didn’t you understand that before moving there?  Australia is built around the east coast, WA is isolated and limited.  

We lived there to be with family. So, all the research in the world wouldn't have taken us anywhere else.

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14 hours ago, Tulip1 said:

The slides were fun but they don’t have them anymore.  I like a trip to Hilarys when I’m there but I guess it’s like most places, you don’t want to go all the time. I do love the ice cream place there where they smash your choice of chocolate into it.  The crazy golf is good and hasn’t changed in all the many years I’ve been going. I can hear that guillotine at the end now - ‘don’t forget to pick up your head’

What crazy golf?? Lol. I obviously don't go enough. The Great Escape closed in 2016, was it there? 

There is a small water fun park there in Summer months. 

I don't know the ice cream place you mention either? Ben and Jerry's for me. 

You're right it's not a place you go to every week. I like Hillarys as an occasional thing. The water is safe and brilliant for little ones. Good fishing spots. The rellies always love it. Sitting in the Sun with an ice cream. 

I find it harder and harder to get a decent meal and coffee there so much so that we might just go to Dome as a 'safe' bet. Coffee and cake and a scenic stroll. There's been a lot of venue closures and too many chain restaurants in there. The local.shack (terrible generic frozen food offerings) It's beautiful at sunset and after dark for a summer stroll and you can picnic or bbq. We used to like Hippo Creek but that's closed down. The Jarrah bar and 3 Sheets are always packed at the weekend till late. Had a nice tapas lunch there actually last year. (Jarrah) The chippy isn't bad. Purple goat cafe does nice home made cakes. 

We might go 2 or 3 x a year. 

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27 minutes ago, s713 said:

We lived there to be with family. So, all the research in the world wouldn't have taken us anywhere else.

I moved to get away from mine 😂

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17 hours ago, bug family said:

That is what makes us all different Happy heart, as has been previously pointed out, an individuals view is by nature subjective, I accept that someone else may not see or feel the same as me and at the same time I can understand and accept  their own point of view, however that does not make my own view and thoughts any less valid, we all see through different eyes and experience different things 😀

Are you still in Perth? If so can you and will you go home? Years ago when we first came here there were regular poms in oz meet ups that were useful for forging friendships and sharing experiences. 

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Posted (edited)
2 hours ago, HappyHeart said:

Are you still in Perth? If so can you and will you go home? Years ago when we first came here there were regular poms in oz meet ups that were useful for forging friendships and sharing experiences. 

Hi happy Heart, yes i live 'down south', 😎

can I go home...difficult one my heart is in two places, my children are here (Daniel 13 & Emily 8 ) and leaving them would be very hard if not impossible both for me and them (my daughter has begged me not to leave), but my heart is also back home which i miss regularly, my wife has said I am free to leave and get a job back home with the NHS but i do not know if it is that easy, i would be starting virtually all over again with little funds and the clothes on my back so to speak, we are not like a married couple any more and are 'just good friends' which is a shame as when we came here 10 years ago we where very close and still in love, don't get me wrong I still love my wife and care for her .....just not in love any more if that makes sense, long story which relates to having to live with the in laws here for two years it destroyed our marriage and possibly me being homesick and going on about it cannot have helped if i am honest 😐.

will I go home, i am certain of it at some stage, at least that's what I tell myself everyday lol 😂 keeps me sane, just do not want to leave it to long i am late 40's and time is ticking...I have likened it to a virtual / mental bridge that I have to cross one day, I know its there and I have to cross it ........  

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Posted (edited)
15 minutes ago, bug family said:

Hi happy Heart, yes i live 'down south', 😎

can I go home...difficult one my heart is in two places, my children are here (Daniel 13 & Emily 8 ) and leaving them would be very hard if not impossible both for me and them (my daughter has begged me not to leave), but my heart is also back home which i miss regularly, my wife has said I am free to leave and get a job back home with the NHS but i do not know if it is that easy, i would be starting virtually all over again with little funds and the clothes on my back so to speak, we are not like a married couple any more and are 'just good friends' which is a shame as when we came here 10 years ago we where very close and still in love, don't get me wrong I still love my wife and care for her .....just not in love any more if that makes sense, long story which relates to having to live with the in laws here for two years it destroyed our marriage and possibly me being homesick and going on about it cannot have helped if i am honest 😐.

will I go home, i am certain of it at some stage, at least that's what I tell myself everyday lol 😂 keeps me sane, just do not want to leave it to long i am late 40's and time is ticking...I have likened it to a virtual / mental bridge that I have to cross one day, I know its there and I have to cross it ........  

Oh my, that is a very sad tale. What an impossibility. When.people say it's a 'choice' plain and simple this proves it is no such thing. Coincidentally, I know a couple who had a similar situation (kids are a bit older) and as far as I know they were still 'together' romantically. He left quite abruptly last year. Left her and the kids absolutely devastated and I wonder will they ever recover. 

I agree your 1st priority is to your children. At least until they are older. Comfort yourself with the thought that when that time comes they will likely fly the nest, possibly go overseas themselves....then you'll be free to follow your heart. In 10 years your youngest will be an adult and you will still be young. Late 50s is no age. I don't think it can ever be 'too late.'

What a dilemma. Truly feel for you. I hope you can find a way to make your time more bearable. 

Edited by HappyHeart
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On 12/05/2021 at 08:44, HappyHeart said:

What crazy golf?? Lol. I obviously don't go enough. The Great Escape closed in 2016, was it there? 

There is a small water fun park there in Summer months. 

I don't know the ice cream place you mention either? Ben and Jerry's for me. 

You're right it's not a place you go to every week. I like Hillarys as an occasional thing. The water is safe and brilliant for little ones. Good fishing spots. The rellies always love it. Sitting in the Sun with an ice cream. 

I find it harder and harder to get a decent meal and coffee there so much so that we might just go to Dome as a 'safe' bet. Coffee and cake and a scenic stroll. There's been a lot of venue closures and too many chain restaurants in there. The local.shack (terrible generic frozen food offerings) It's beautiful at sunset and after dark for a summer stroll and you can picnic or bbq. We used to like Hippo Creek but that's closed down. The Jarrah bar and 3 Sheets are always packed at the weekend till late. Had a nice tapas lunch there actually last year. (Jarrah) The chippy isn't bad. Purple goat cafe does nice home made cakes. 

We might go 2 or 3 x a year. 

Yes it was part of the great escape near the big water slides. Great golf, was there years and years, dozens probably. The ice cream place was called cold rock and that was also there for years and still there when I last visited three years ago (or sure we went there on my last visit) 

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On 11/05/2021 at 14:30, Marisawright said:

I wonder if you're asking yourself the wrong question?   Why do you think you have to go anywhere next?  What's wrong with staying exactly where you are and enjoying it?

I know what you mean but as I liked Surfers  - stayed eight.months  -  I'd like to try it again, and I like the warmer weather in winter there. 

Of course that question, "What's wrong with staying exactly where you are and enjoying it?" is what we all ask ourselves when we migrate?!!?

I suppose things occur, often unplanned, which have lead to some of my moves. I'd never have gone back to England to live had I not lost my job in Sydney and my parents were still in Hants. 

Same last year, I would not have joined my brother in Surfers had I not feared another lockdown and going through it on my own.

Perhaps Covid-19 is making me unsettled too. It seemed somehow "safer" there!

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On 11/05/2021 at 15:55, Toots said:

Yes I've gone soft in my old age too. 😄  Lots of folk in Tassie spend up to 3 months in QLD during winter.  I don't mind the winter weather so much here but if it rains for more than 2 or 3 days at a time I can get a bit grumpy.  The cold doesn't really bother me as long as I can get home to a warm house.  Couldn't be doing with damp, cold, dreich Scottish winters anymore and I hate ice and snow.

Enjoy your QLD break.

I was just thinking that I could spend my winters in QLD. I saw a doco about Quebecois "snowbirds"(?) who migrate to Miami to escape the Canadian winters.

When I was a kid I adored snow and ice but now I'm frightened to drive and frightened to slip. However, I must admit I adjusted to English winters,  central heating,  warm clothes, going for my bike rides at 10 am rather than 4pm.

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On 11/05/2021 at 21:27, Bulya said:

And again it comes back to lack of research.  Why didn’t you understand that before moving there?  Australia is built around the east coast, WA is isolated and limited.  

Funny but I disagree with both of you. I don't see WA as being isolated and limited with nothing beyond City, Freo, Busselton, Mandurah,  Swan Valley.

I'm happy usually wherever I am. My Hants village had 3 pubs, 2 takeaways and 1 cafe. Surry Hills has - exaggerating  - 100 with another 100 in the adjoining suburbs  - City, E Sydney, Darlo,  Paddo,  Newtown,  Glen.

On my two stints in Perth I "sampled" three suburbs  -  South Perth,  Applecross and Northbridge.  I mean i stayed there and in each one I found a local pub and local cafe which I could walk to. I did check out some other burbs - Subiaco, Ardross, and the casino if I needed to be out after midnight ie to watch Tottenham. 

In Sydney you can drive north,  south or west. In Perth you can drive north, south or east. Perhaps there are more towns in NSW but I went to plenty of places in WA on my road trips  - Margaret River,  The Wheatbelt and down to Albany. If I CRAVED going on trips every weekend I could have gone to plenty  - Northam, York (stayed there 2 nights) Beverley,  Bridgetown and a hundred places ending in "Up."

Since when does a town, place or suburb become boring after you've been once anyway?

 

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On 11/05/2021 at 17:07, s713 said:

Hillarys was one of the (many) other places that used to do this to me. I had to say to the wife, I can't physically go to Hillarys anymore. Apart from the beach, it was the only thing near us and, after about 6 or 7 visits, I was done.

From what I recall of Hilarys it's a mini Darling Harbour or, now, Barangaroo and I rarely go to either of them.  Go once and it's enough whether there's 5 restaurants and bars or 50.

Actually, I should qualify that. If I lived easy walking distance from a place like Hilarys I'd go there regularly but I LOATHE having to drive anywhere, joining the other grockles fighting for parking places. 

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On 10/05/2021 at 12:08, Paul1Perth said:

A bit like that. Lovely houses backing on to canals with their own boat ramp and big boat to go with it.

A lot of FIFO workers went to live down there I think. 

Like the area immediately to the west of Surfers then? Chevron Island,  Isle of Capri, etc, lovely homes on the river / canals, many with their own pier or wharf. 

I've got a little courtyard in my flat which I like to potter about in ie sweep the leaves up but I've got a few plants. I was thinking Id like to have a garden flat or town house/villa but there's not many in Surfers and as soon as I'm out of walking distance I don't live want to live there.  So, the beach replaces the garden.

One thing puzzles me about people who say "X is boring with nothing to do" is that I assume some of them have homes with gardens? Whether in Oz or UK many people adore their gardens and spend much time in them? 

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20 minutes ago, MARYROSE02 said:

Funny but I disagree with both of you. I don't see WA as being isolated and limited...

I'm happy usually wherever I am.

But surely that's the whole point.  You've lived equally happily in a small village in England, a big bustling metropolis in Sydney, a tourist mecca on the Gold Coast, the suburbs of Perth - and you've even said you could happily settle in Penrith (Sydney).  You seem to be able to land in a place and settle for whatever's there.  Most people aren't like that.

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Scot by birth, emigrated 1985 | Aussie husband applied UK spouse visa Jan 2015, granted March 2015, moved to UK May 2015 | Returned to Oz June 2016

"The stranger who comes home does not make himself at home but makes home itself strange." -- Rainer Maria Rilke

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30 minutes ago, Marisawright said:

But surely that's the whole point.  You've lived equally happily in a small village in England, a big bustling metropolis in Sydney, a tourist mecca on the Gold Coast, the suburbs of Perth - and you've even said you could happily settle in Penrith (Sydney).  You seem to be able to land in a place and settle for whatever's there.  Most people aren't like that.

You make me sound perfect Marisa! I would not fancy living in one of the burbs far from the local services though.  But then again if you want a home with garden then that's where you have to live.  Actually I'd not fancy living in some of the posh suburbs because they are long distances from "the shops", but I'd like the money of course. 

Then again I fancy even with an unlimited budgets some people would reject every part of the city or country.

And again and again,  it's the local pub that I want not an ENGLISH pub or for that matter, AUSSIE pub.

 

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1 hour ago, MARYROSE02 said:

Funny but I disagree with both of you. I don't see WA as being isolated and limited with nothing beyond City, Freo, Busselton, Mandurah,  Swan Valley.

I'm happy usually wherever I am. My Hants village had 3 pubs, 2 takeaways and 1 cafe. Surry Hills has - exaggerating  - 100 with another 100 in the adjoining suburbs  - City, E Sydney, Darlo,  Paddo,  Newtown,  Glen.

On my two stints in Perth I "sampled" three suburbs  -  South Perth,  Applecross and Northbridge.  I mean i stayed there and in each one I found a local pub and local cafe which I could walk to. I did check out some other burbs - Subiaco, Ardross, and the casino if I needed to be out after midnight ie to watch Tottenham. 

In Sydney you can drive north,  south or west. In Perth you can drive north, south or east. Perhaps there are more towns in NSW but I went to plenty of places in WA on my road trips  - Margaret River,  The Wheatbelt and down to Albany. If I CRAVED going on trips every weekend I could have gone to plenty  - Northam, York (stayed there 2 nights) Beverley,  Bridgetown and a hundred places ending in "Up."

Since when does a town, place or suburb become boring after you've been once anyway?

 

Can you go to a football grand final in WA, AFL or NRL?  No.  Do most of the touring bands or comedians or whatever go to WA?  No.  Do the boat racing series or other go to WA?  No. Do any of the big horse shows have a final in WA?  No. It’s limited, very limited…

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Posted (edited)
49 minutes ago, MARYROSE02 said:

You make me sound perfect Marisa!

No, I don't think you are perfect. I think it's just that you have simple needs and you're happy with a fairly routine existence.  Provided you've got your local pub and can walk to the shops, you can be content.   

When you think about it, if the whole human race was like that, (content with the same-old same-old every day), we'd still be in the Dark Ages.  It's the human race's tendency to be restless and curious that has led to all the great discoveries and inventions (and of course, a fair few troubles as well).   For most of us, though (who aren't so courageous or so clever), we have to channel our restlessness and curiosity into finding new and interesting things to do - and so we need to live in places where there is LOTS of variety, not just SOME variety.

Edited by Marisawright
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Scot by birth, emigrated 1985 | Aussie husband applied UK spouse visa Jan 2015, granted March 2015, moved to UK May 2015 | Returned to Oz June 2016

"The stranger who comes home does not make himself at home but makes home itself strange." -- Rainer Maria Rilke

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1 hour ago, Marisawright said:

But surely that's the whole point.  You've lived equally happily in a small village in England, a big bustling metropolis in Sydney, a tourist mecca on the Gold Coast, the suburbs of Perth - and you've even said you could happily settle in Penrith (Sydney).  You seem to be able to land in a place and settle for whatever's there.  Most people aren't like that.

Interesting point Marisa, as someone who has moved constantly from childhood to married life, I gave up counting after 17 moves since I married, due to my husband’s work, I’m not sure I happily settled? but when you have no choice, then you make the best of it, no point winging, had to make it home for everyone’s sake, then move and start all over again with 3 children. Of course I realise the moves were temporary, not emigrating for life?  but 10 years in one country, was possibly longer than some people’s experience of emigrating for life in Australia.

Moving home whether in the same country or overseas can be very stressful, but your attitude to life, can affect help in making it work.

I am in no way criticising anyone who couldn’t  settle.

I have now very happily settled, and it feels so good, but I’ve waited a long time !

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13 minutes ago, ramot said:

Interesting point Marisa, as someone who has moved constantly from childhood to married life, I gave up counting after 17 moves since I married, due to my husband’s work, I’m not sure I happily settled? but when you have no choice, then you make the best of it

That's true, but IMO, moving somewhere, knowing you're going to be stuck there for a while and so you make the best of it - that's one thing.   MaryRose's experience is different. It seems as though when he's in Surry Hills, he's content in Surry Hills. When he's in Surfer's, he's content in Surfer's.  He's not stuck somewhere and making the best of it - he finds them all equally nice and could settle in any of them. I think that's unusual.

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Scot by birth, emigrated 1985 | Aussie husband applied UK spouse visa Jan 2015, granted March 2015, moved to UK May 2015 | Returned to Oz June 2016

"The stranger who comes home does not make himself at home but makes home itself strange." -- Rainer Maria Rilke

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2 hours ago, MARYROSE02 said:

From what I recall of Hilarys it's a mini Darling Harbour or, now, Barangaroo and I rarely go to either of them.  Go once and it's enough whether there's 5 restaurants and bars or 50.

Actually, I should qualify that. If I lived easy walking distance from a place like Hilarys I'd go there regularly but I LOATHE having to drive anywhere, joining the other grockles fighting for parking places. 

Darling Harbour and Barangaroo do absolutely nothing for me.  

Hilarys as it is now didn't exist when we lived in Perth so can't compare.

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8 minutes ago, Marisawright said:

That's true, but IMO, moving somewhere, knowing you're going to be stuck there for a while and so you make the best of it - that's one thing.   MaryRose's experience is different. It seems as though when he's in Surry Hills, he's content in Surry Hills. When he's in Surfer's, he's content in Surfer's.  He's not stuck somewhere and making the best of it - he finds them all equally nice and could settle in any of them. I think that's unusual.

Honestly, I'm a bit like MaryRose.  Admittedly probably a bit more stick in the mud now I'm older but I could easily up sticks and live in Thailand or Malaysia for extended periods of time.  After a few visits to the south west of Tassie I could see myself very happily settled there but I'm also very much at home here on the north west coast.  Wouldn't mind extended trips around Australia and NZ.  Lots to think about once the worst of Covid is over and done with.

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Posted (edited)
53 minutes ago, Toots said:

Honestly, I'm a bit like MaryRose.  Admittedly probably a bit more stick in the mud now I'm older but I could easily up sticks and live in Thailand or Malaysia for extended periods of time.  After a few visits to the south west of Tassie I could see myself very happily settled there but I'm also very much at home here on the north west coast.  Wouldn't mind extended trips around Australia and NZ.  Lots to think about once the worst of Covid is over and done with.

Nowadays I have no desire to move house hopefully ever again, but when we were moving around and starting to feel settled, my husband would say, there is an opportunity come up to move, and I would say go for it. Goodness knows why, perhaps I was just wired that way, as unused to living anywhere for long then??? 

ps he was in the RAF so it didn’t involve buying and selling a house, that decision time came later 

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