Quokka2005 Posted August 13, 2016 Share Posted August 13, 2016 Good luck Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JockinTas Posted August 13, 2016 Share Posted August 13, 2016 In my opinion, the UK is as awful as I describe. Yes I know I should stay put. That is what I have decided. Thought I made that clear in my first few posts. Go on then. Tell us all why the UK is so awful. Have you told your husband you are staying put yet? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BooBooBear Posted August 13, 2016 Author Share Posted August 13, 2016 Go on then. Tell us all why the UK is so awful. Why do you need to know this? How is it relevant to my original question? Have you told your husband you are staying put yet? Yes. Hence my original question. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BooBooBear Posted August 13, 2016 Author Share Posted August 13, 2016 Good luck Do you mean in general? Or for getting helpful answers on this forum! :laugh: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest241083 Posted August 13, 2016 Share Posted August 13, 2016 ..........there are two types of people who struggle to be completely happy IMO and ime.... ..........those who think and do only for themselves.... .........and those who think and do only for others.... .........life is a balancing act of ourselves and those who share our lives...... ...........I do so hope you find it.....X Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Quokka2005 Posted August 13, 2016 Share Posted August 13, 2016 I mean for the outcome. Personally i think you should try it for a year and maybe thatll be enough to get it out his system but you dont seem willing to. So hopefully it'll work out ok. We had one couple on here a long time ago that had a long distance marriage but it was a bit different as she was trying to move to australia. Im sure it works for some people Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BooBooBear Posted August 13, 2016 Author Share Posted August 13, 2016 Everybody is not miserable in the UK I didn't say they were. I said I would be. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BooBooBear Posted August 13, 2016 Author Share Posted August 13, 2016 I'm a bit bemused by your reaction to the mere thought of living in this beautiful country for an insignificant 12 months. I'm a bit bemused by some of the answers here. So I suppose we are even on that point. I think 12 months is a long time to live somewhere that you detest. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JockinTas Posted August 13, 2016 Share Posted August 13, 2016 Yes I am 100% committed to him. I love him deeply. And we have had a very happy faithful marriage for the past 30 years. But overall I dislike the UK, and simply shudder at the thought of living there again. Especially so close to our family and friends; who I find suffocating in their views. So should I go for one year to make him happy....... knowing full well I will be unhappy, miserable and possible resentful. It will be like going to prison for one year. Thank you for your advise xxlornaxx it was interesting to read your experiences in this matter. You ask if you should go for one year to make him happy and that you are 100% committed to him and that you love him deeply - so yes, I think you should. One year will fly by and who knows, you may start to look at the UK through different eyes and want to stay there for longer ......................... you just never know. :cool: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BooBooBear Posted August 13, 2016 Author Share Posted August 13, 2016 the UK is not as awful as you make out. Yes it is. To me it is. I think you need to politely get a grip. I am thinking many things about these answers. And they are not overly polite. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BooBooBear Posted August 13, 2016 Author Share Posted August 13, 2016 REMINDER My original questions were: 1) Is anyone in, or has been in, a long distance relationship? 2) Just wondering if anyone has been in a similar long distant relationship situation? And made it work? Had a couple of good answers here and an excellent one by PM. Thank you for them. But seems most people feel the need to tell me: My views about the UK are wrong or ridiculous I am being selfish I am being petulant I am being a drama queen I am being miserable I am dismissive I am unwilling to compromise I need to get a grip I am inconsiderate I would be better to chuck my relationship away My marriage is not as strong as I think it is WTF! I didn’t ask you what you thought of me. I simply asked if anyone had been in a long distance relationship. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JockinTas Posted August 13, 2016 Share Posted August 13, 2016 Interesting. So really what everyone is saying is - It seems perfectly fine for me to be : unhappy, miserable, angry, resentful, bored, fed up, irritated and foaming at the mouth for one year living back in the UK........as long as my husband is happy and contented. Bugger it. He can go back. I will stay here. There we are decision made :laugh: and fingers cross the relationship survives. I missed this post. Decision made then. All the best! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bungo Posted August 13, 2016 Share Posted August 13, 2016 I didn't say they were. I said I would be. Yes you did. Post #22. You said everyone seemed miserable, hence my comment was that no, not everybody is miserable. And to your latest posts, well you cannot control the answers you get. When somebody comes along and makes such ridiculous statements as you have made, well you are going to get comments on that whether you like it or not. We are not robots on here. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
newjez Posted August 13, 2016 Share Posted August 13, 2016 REMINDER My original questions were: 1) Is anyone in, or has been in, a long distance relationship? 2) Just wondering if anyone has been in a similar long distant relationship situation? And made it work? Had a couple of good answers here and an excellent one by PM. Thank you for them. But seems most people feel the need to tell me: My views about the UK are wrong or ridiculous I am being selfish I am being petulant I am being a drama queen I am being miserable I am dismissive I am unwilling to compromise I need to get a grip I am inconsiderate I would be better to chuck my relationship away My marriage is not as strong as I think it is WTF! I didn’t ask you what you thought of me. I simply asked if anyone had been in a long distance relationship. Well, I guess if you are that committed ... I've never been in a long distance relationship myself, but half my office is from India, and they all do a year visa leaving their partners at home. They all seem to survive without too much trouble. One even went back for two weeks for the birth of his child, and he's now back with us. They do it for economic reasons and the experience. They make the most of their trip, be that history, culture, football, cricket. It obviously works for them. Some even come on a second tour. If you find it too long you could always pop over for a week or two or he could pop back. It sounds like it's something he needs to do, and it sounds like something you don't. My father hates the UK. You would never get him here for a year. It would cause him depression. He can't see the beauty and he can't understand how I can live here. So yes, long distance relationships do work. It's not ideal. But maybe it will make you both stronger. Good luck. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted August 13, 2016 Share Posted August 13, 2016 Yes, although it was early on in our relationship. Couple of years, hard going but we got through it. We did make trips to see the other though. Didn't go longer than 6 months being apart. TBH a year isn't that long. You could take a holiday to the UK in the middle of the year for a month perhaps. After so many years together if you are both on board with it I think it could be OK to have a year apart with visits over the year. Or to spend a few months there together and perhaps hop over to Europe for weekends and stuff. Make the most of it so time doesn't drag. If you are keeping your Aus home and all that is it such a terrible thing to have a longer holiday? I don't think time apart has to destroy a relationship but both people have to be ok with it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest241083 Posted August 13, 2016 Share Posted August 13, 2016 ..........yes.......all my married life..! ..........up to 8 months apart...( when the children were young....) ..........to a regular 2 week on,2 off.... ..........but it's not easy ime..! ..........it's doable if both partners compromise.... ..........you seem sure your partnership is strong..... ..........so perhaps with a visit by you for a agreed time..... ...........will help your other half see how much your prepared to put up with something you so obviously dislike for him.... ...........sometimes you have to give something up to gain something.....a strong relationship.....good luck... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BooBooBear Posted August 13, 2016 Author Share Posted August 13, 2016 (edited) Yes you did. Post #22. You said everyone seemed miserable Seeming miserable and being miserable are two different things. I didn't say they were miserable. I said they seemed it. Obviously I was not talking about the whole of the UK. I was talking about our immediate family and location. When somebody comes along and makes such ridiculous statements as you have made, Why and how were my statements ridiculous? More like most peoples "advice" was way-off topic, useless and ridiculous. (i.e.) Telling me I was a drama queen who needed to get a grip. Yeah very helpful thanks. My god. It was a simple question: Has anyone been in a long distance relationship Edited August 13, 2016 by BooBooBear To bold question just in case people don't understand what it was Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest241083 Posted August 13, 2016 Share Posted August 13, 2016 ..........have answered your bold question....! ..........but my experience may not be yours..... ..........only you can make it work....or not....... ..........and who knows what the future holds.....or how we may react to it..... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
marenmatt1 Posted August 13, 2016 Share Posted August 13, 2016 (edited) REMINDER My original questions were: 1) Is anyone in, or has been in, a long distance relationship? 2) Just wondering if anyone has been in a similar long distant relationship situation? And made it work? Had a couple of good answers here and an excellent one by PM. Thank you for them. But seems most people feel the need to tell me: My views about the UK are wrong or ridiculous I am being selfish I am being petulant I am being a drama queen I am being miserable I am dismissive I am unwilling to compromise I need to get a grip I am inconsiderate I would be better to chuck my relationship away My marriage is not as strong as I think it is WTF! I didn’t ask you what you thought of me. I simply asked if anyone had been in a long distance relationship. My husband & I went through nearly 4 years of him working fifo. The first half he was home a wk a month & the last half only 2 days a month. Whilst not strictly long distance we still rarely saw each other. Unfortunately long distance doesn't work for everyone. Some ppl come back together & find they can't get in sync again, others cheat, some get depressed. The hard part is no one knows how their relationship will come up till the end. I know it all sounds obvious but maybe you should try couples therapy, that way someone else is there to help mediate your discussion & give advice? Edited August 13, 2016 by marenmatt1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
vickyplum Posted August 13, 2016 Share Posted August 13, 2016 More like most peoples "advice" was way-off topic, useless and ridiculous. My god. It was a simple question: Has anyone been in a long distance relationship Yeah that's what happens when you come onto a forum (ie, a public discussion board). Anyway, to answer your question: yes but only in the UK not between different countries. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BooBooBear Posted August 13, 2016 Author Share Posted August 13, 2016 Yeah that's what happens when you come onto a forum (ie, a public discussion board). I don't agree. I am a member of over ten forums. Combination of here and overseas. And I have never experienced such personal attacks on my character. Ever. And from long standing members too. That is the sort of crap I would expect from a troll. People calling me a selfish miserable drama queen, with ridiculous views, who needs to get a grip. And all this it seems just because I dislike the UK and don't want to return with my husband. I did however get a PM, that warned me that people on here could be argumentative, especially the UK fans. What a scary welcome to the forum that was. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
vickyplum Posted August 13, 2016 Share Posted August 13, 2016 I did however get a PM, that warned me that people on here could be argumentative, especially the UK fans. What a scary welcome to the forum that was. Yes there are a few 'keyboard warriors' around the place! Particularly when it comes to any sort of "should I stay or go to Aus/UK type" threads. They get the biggest turn out I'm afraid. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jilldesp Posted August 13, 2016 Share Posted August 13, 2016 I don't think people are slating your character at all. You need to re read your posts; they are a little dramatic in parts! Foaming at the mouth, going to prison! I think people are trying to make u see that the situation/UK really isn't that bad and are simply reacting to how you describe it. Emotive feelings from people who enjoy the UK against people who slag it off will always cause a stir, and vise versa. I told u to get a grip of the situation, because your stance is so negative and aggressive and does it need to be? is it really that bad?! I was trying to make you see that there are far worse things in life than a trip back to the UK. I understand now that that is up there with the worst things for you, so sorry to have offended you. Hope you reach a happy compromise. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gbye grey sky Posted August 13, 2016 Share Posted August 13, 2016 You asked if your long distance relationship could survive so you clearly have doubts. I have to say that judged by some of your intemperate comments on here I am starting to see why your husband is keen to get away. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Grecia Posted August 13, 2016 Share Posted August 13, 2016 (edited) REMINDER My original questions were: 1) Is anyone in, or has been in, a long distance relationship? Yes, we're doing that now. OH has been working in Sydney for the last two months, because he was offered a better job there than he's been able to get in the UK for several years. Unfortunately it's not well paid though - they are kind of exploiting him. I'm still in the UK with our 2 dogs. I wouldn't recommend it. For a start it's no fun trying to run two separate households (in two of the world's most expensive cities) on the same money you had running one household. Communications are sporadic: OH's current home has no internet or landline and mobile reception is bad. If I can't get hold of him I have no way of knowing if he is merely out of range or flatlining in intensive care somewhere. It's not like he is doing FIFO on an oil rig where his whereabouts are monitored by someone 24/7. It's a bit stressful. My social life has died a death. Not only can I not do 'couply things' anymore, but before if we wanted to go out with friends, we could take it in turns to come home early and let the dogs out. Now I have to do it every night. Small problems become huge obstacles if you can't discuss them with someone - even if that someone wouldn't be much help. I kind of want him to think everything here is always rosy - I don't want him to start thinking maybe Sydney isn't so bad after all and decide to stay there forever! We've kind of been forced into this. OH's career prospects were going down the pan in the UK. If he sticks the job out for 6 months, he will hopefully have 'beefed up' his CV enough to get a decent job over here, or a better paid Aussie job in Somewhere-That-Isn't-Sydney. If the latter, we'll go over and join him. I can earn more than him in the UK; he has the potential to earn a lot more than me in Oz. We'll see... although this uncertainty is no fun either... The others commenting on here who have been in long-distance relationships all seem to have done it for economic reasons as well. If I were you, I would seriously not consider doing this unless you absolutely *have* to. Edited August 13, 2016 by Grecia typo Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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