Confused.com

[jordiemagoo]

I am so confused about what country to live in - Australia vs U.K.?!

 

My partner and I emigrated to Brisbane (I am originally from there) at the end of last year. Just before we left my partner had an emotional breakdown after our leaving drinks. She did not want to move. We always said that there was nothing wrong with our lives here - lovely home, both had good, well-paid jobs but we felt we wanted more of the outdoor lifestyle. Brisbane offered sunshine and a guarantee of that. Also, I already had a friendship base there. My partner was thinking of ways we could withdraw from the sale of our house.

 

Despite both of us questioning whether we should go through with it, we did in fact move to Brisbane. We arrived but both disliked it straightaway. My partner had a meltdown in the supermarket crying and saying she wanted to go home.

 

In the meantime, we socialised regularly with Aussie friends. I worked - my work colleagues were lovely and welcoming. However, I wasn't feeling it. I think I put up a barrier as I guess I felt superior (not necessarily in an arrogant way). I felt because I lived in London and travelled I had more life experience. I felt because I had made a success of my life in London that somehow returning home I was going backwards. I was earning more in Brisbane as a classroom teacher than I was in the U.K. as Deputy SENCO.

 

My partner and I decided we would return to the U.K. As soon as possible. I contacted my old school and managed to get my job back. Unfortunately, my partner didn't get her old job back. Literally, as we were about to board my partner said she didn't think we gave Brisbane a good go of it and that she started to enjoy living there - the laid back, relaxed lifestyle. I was ill and was unable to fly. We spent three weeks thinking about what we should do. During that time we were so confused about whether to stay or come back to the U.K. In the end we chose to come back to the U.K. to help us make that decision and because I had a job to go to.

 

We we definitely want to retire to Brisbane. However, do we go now or wait until we are ready for retirement? I am concerned that we may loose out financially if we go to Oz but then if we stay there for good would it matter. Also, we need to consider our pensions and the exchange rate.

 

Our Pros and Cons:

Australia Pros

Weather

Sporting activities e.g. Cycling, running, swimming and golf

Cleanliness

Less people = Less stress

Spacious houses -can afford a really nice house

Friends

More money - job

Beaches

UK Pros

Property prices rise quicker - may make more money from equity

Close to Europe

London = More restaurants, things to do, theatre, etc.

Friends and family

Job

More character/atmosphere

NHS

Like the houses but smaller and expensive

Australia Negatives

Family issues

Slowness

Shopping

Less to do and see

Cane toads - have two dogs

Snakes

UK Negatives

Weather

Stress = traffic, lots of people, workload

Work/Life balance?

We are so confused!!! Please help!

[MelanieJS]

Oh dear! Sounds all very confusing. I guess you and your partner just have to decide what you want out of life. There are always going to be pros and cons in both countries.

 

Wishing you all the very best of luck ;0)

[Melbpom]

A major factor would be how old are you and do you have children or intend to have them. Once you have children the decision is harder and there is a lot on information on this site about Hague Convention and schooling.

A little puzzled why you would want to retire in Australia if your so unsure about living here.

[Gbye grey sky]

Firstly I would not just assume that you can both retire in Brisbane. I assume you are a citizen and that your partner has a spouse visa. If you return long term to the UK then an RRV might not be obtainable in the distant future. Rules on spousal visas could change in the future and be made more difficult. You both need citizenship to guarantee that you retain that choice.

 

Based on what you have said I would stay put now anyway. Seems what you are really both seeking is the best of both worlds but as that does not exist going backwards and forwards will not change that mindset.

[Bungo]

It is the curse of the expat. When you can see good in both locations, it is easy to feel torn as you do. But you have clearly put thought into this decision and I think you should put your faith in that, stay put and stop second guessing your decision. Maybe in the future you will decide to give Australia another go, but wait until it hits you that you really want to go back.

[jordiemagoo]

I am 45 and my partner is 39. No children. We just don't think the UK is the place to be elderly.

[Bungo]

I am 45 and my partner is 39. No children. We just don't think the UK is the place to be elderly.

 

Why not? Genuine question, I am curious as to your thinking. We are about your ages, no children, moved back to the UK last year and we have decided we will move to Australia or at least spend half the year in Australia when we are in early retirement. We will decide at the time what to do later retirement, but certainly have never thought that the UK would be a bad place to be when elderly.

[jordiemagoo]

We just think the sunshine and warmth would be better for an elderly person.

[Bungo]

We just think the sunshine and warmth would be better for an elderly person.

 

Yes agree with that. I do like a warmer winter too.

[Guest]

It sounds like you are comparing London to Brisbane which is not the same as comparing the life you could have in the UK with the life you could have in Australia.

 

When I compare where I live in Scotland to where I lived in Perth my pro's and con's lists would be very similar except your pro's in Australia are mine in Scotland and your cons in London were mine in Perth.

 

I'd move back to the UK but move elsewhere - probably not Scotland if you want sunshine tho!

 

As many elderly die due to the heat in Australia as they do to the

cold here and looking after my dad who is 85 has opened my eyes to how much help and support is available - I don't have experience in Australia to compare with but given the privatisation culture around medicine, schools etc. I find it hard to imagine it would be as good.

 

But if the sun is a deal breaker look elsewhere in Australia -

Sydney is going to be much more like London or even Melbourne. Of course some of your pro's for Australia start to disappear then.

 

Reality is nowhere is perfect so stop looking for it and decide which is 'least worst' or 'most best' if you prefer. You have a list of factors that are important to you so rank them - if you have 10 factors the most important = 10 and so on. You and your partner should both do it (no conferring!) then rate each place against the factors - which gets the highest score overall?

[VERYSTORMY]

We just think the sunshine and warmth would be better for an elderly person.

 

We know a number of Australian elderly people who seriously struggle with heat and find as they get older, it becomes a bigger and bigger issue. My wife was a volunteer with the elderly and many suffered serious physical issues as a result

[jordiemagoo]

Thank you. I really appreciate your advice.

[starlight7]

Whilst you are so very undecided I wouldn't go anywhere because to make a go of it you have to be 100% committed- both of you.

[jordiemagoo]

That is why we decided to come back to the UK. We are hoping to get some closure on this dilemma sooner rather than later.

[dxboz]

Maybe I am missing something but why would you want to retire in a place you don't want to live now?? Sounds like you are really over analasing things - live where you want to live now - who knows what the future might bring but I would certainly not be planning my retirement to a place I don't want to live now - why would you like it any better some years later?

[Gbye grey sky]

Maybe I am missing something but why would you want to retire in a place you don't want to live now?? Sounds like you are really over analasing things - live where you want to live now - who knows what the future might bring but I would certainly not be planning my retirement to a place I don't want to live now - why would you like it any better some years later?

 

I do get this. I have moved from Surrey to south of Brisbane in my 50s essentially to retire. I am loving the climate, the slower pace of life, and the oudoor lifestyle. That said I feel if I was 20 years younger then the lifestyle would not have suited me so well. Many people relocate to southern Spain or Portugal in retirement but would have no interest in living there when younger. Time and a place for everything.

[Phoenix16]

It seems to me that having choices is causing you immense stress! I know there are many people who would love to be in your shoes, but when you're wearing those shoes it's difficult to see the light and decide what's the best thing to do. I don't think you will get your answer on a forum, I don't think there is an answer, it's something you both have to decide between yourselves, you have to just make a decision and stick to it one way or the other, but I think whatever decision you make, there is always going to be the peripherals in the background that make you think 'what if....', I soppose we all go through it as migrants, I thinks it's there for multi-cultural couples, I soppose you just have to work it out between you and make a firm commitment to your final decision!! Sorry I'm not much help but I really do feel for you, We are migrants and very happy with our decision to emigrate but you constantly live with the tug on your heart of family and friends left behind, I sometimes wish Skype and the rest had never been invented and emigration had the finality it did many years ago, such a selfish thought I know !!! All the best, I'm sure you will figure it out xxxxxx

[Guest]

Maybe I am missing something but why would you want to retire in a place you don't want to live now?? Sounds like you are really over analasing things - live where you want to live now - who knows what the future might bring but I would certainly not be planning my retirement to a place I don't want to live now - why would you like it any better some years later?

 

I MIGHT consider living in Australia again after I retire as my needs will have changed - it will no longer matter that workplace practices in my field aren't 'cutting edge', it will no longer matter that I would earn less in my chosen profession in Australia, I would no longer need to live close to a CBD & therefore I would no longer need to pay much more for an equivalent house, the poorer work/life balance wouldn't be relevant as it would all be 'life', my dad will almost certainly have died by then so no family in the UK, the mountain activities I missed may no longer be so important as my body ages (we were going to retire to France but realised we are imagining it being like it is on holidays now and already my 50 year old body can't do what even my 40 year old could!) and so on.

 

To be honest probably the only reason I would move back is if my son settled there but I guess what I'm saying is needs change and what suits you at one stage isn't necessarily the same at another.

[ramot]

We are a couple who retired to Oz, 13 years ago.

at that time we had none of our children here, we both had cousins here.

We had lived in Brunei for 10 years prior to retirement due to my husbands work, and weren't ready to go back to UK, so thought why not live in Australia for a few years, enjoy living in another country, have new experiences etc.

We have no intention of hopefully ever going back to UK to live.

Not knocking UK at all, just the lifestyle suits us here.

We have many many friends of our own age in UK, they are happy, have an equal quality of life, but I think we have more fun here, we seem to have a more outgoing attitude, can't really explain it better than that, but I think the weather is relevant.

Yes it has been hot this summer and autumn is late, but we walk later in the day next to a gorgeous beach, usually meet other friends doing the same, others walk early in the morning, I'm not an early riser! and the heat doesn't stop you enjoying other interests any more than the cold does in UK.

We have many friends here in their 70's and 80's and don't hear of many problems with access to health or help.

We have home assist here on the Sunshine Coast, various things are done for you with only the cost of the item charged for. For instance they will change light bulbs,clean your gutters, check generally if anything needs doing reference security etc.

We have a seniors card that gets you discounts, if you are on a low income you get cheaper meds? but I don't know much about exactly what you get.

 

It all comes down to personal choice, we go to UK for a few months most years, I hated the snow and icy pavements, when back for Christmas a few years ago, I had had a bad fall en route and couldn't risk going out for a lot of the time. The risk of falling is very real when you are older, so icy roads are a worry.

I prefer coping with the heat for a few months rather than the cold.

 

posters go on about the access to Europe, again on balance comparing my UK retired friends to Australian friends, we go overseas much more and for longer, my UK friends still seem to be in the 2 week holiday mind set.

I don't intend to my post to start one of those stupid Oz against UK threads, but as retired just posting how we find life here.

We just love our retired life here.

[ramot]

We are a couple who retired to Oz, 13 years ago.

at that time we had none of our children here, we both had cousins here.

We had lived in Brunei for 10 years prior to retirement due to my husbands work, and weren't ready to go back to UK, so thought why not live in Australia for a few years, enjoy living in another country, have new experiences etc.

We have no intention of hopefully ever going back to UK to live.

Not knocking UK at all, just the lifestyle suits us here.

We have many many friends of our own age in UK, they are happy, have an equal quality of life, but I think we have more fun here, we seem to have a more outgoing attitude, can't really explain it better than that, but I think the weather is relevant.

Yes it has been hot this summer and autumn is late, but we walk later in the day next to a gorgeous beach, usually meet other friends doing the same, others walk early in the morning, I'm not an early riser! and the heat doesn't stop you enjoying other interests any more than the cold does in UK.

We have many friends here in their 70's and 80's and don't hear of many problems with access to health or help.

We have home assist here on the Sunshine Coast, various things are done for you with only the cost of the item charged for. For instance they will change light bulbs,clean your gutters, check generally if anything needs doing reference security etc.

We have a seniors card that gets you discounts, if you are on a low income you get cheaper meds? but I don't know much about exactly what you get.

 

It all comes down to personal choice, we go to UK for a few months most years, I hated the snow and icy pavements, when back for Christmas a few years ago, I had had a bad fall en route and couldn't risk going out for a lot of the time. The risk of falling is very real when you are older, so icy roads are a worry.

I prefer coping with the heat for a few months rather than the cold.

 

posters go on about the access to Europe, again on balance comparing my UK retired friends to Australian friends, we go overseas much more and for longer, my UK friends still seem to be in the 2 week holiday mind set.

I don't intend to my post to start one of those stupid Oz against UK threads, but as retired just posting how we find life here.

We just love our retired life here.

 

 

One other thing I will add, which I enjoy is that more people I know here have lived in other countries, be they Australian or others which as I have lived in 5 countries I identify with.

For example I have played social bridge twice this week, out of the other 6, 4 Australian friends had lived in Papua New Guinie, Singapore, Malaysia, Middle East, another's husband was Greek, one other was ex British who had also moved to Oz.

I love my long term UK friends, but they are nothing like as well travelled.

not a criticism just fact.

[ramot]

One other thing I will add, which I enjoy is that more people I know here have lived in other countries, be they Australian or others which as I have lived in 5 countries I identify with.

For example I have played social bridge twice this week, out of the other 6, 4 Australian friends had lived in Papua New Guinie, Singapore, Malaysia, Middle East, another's husband was Greek, one other was ex British who had also moved to Oz.

I love my long term UK friends, but they are nothing like as well travelled.

not a criticism just fact.

 

Adding to my maths!! the other ex Brit had lived on the borders of Malaysia and Burma in the 1960's before moving to Oz.

[Pommy Jimbo]

6 months in each is the way to go if you can afford and be bothered to do the trip twice a year.

[Marisawright]

6 months in each is the way to go if you can afford and be bothered to do the trip twice a year.

 

It sounds like a great solution - IF you can afford the air fares each year, as you say. Mind you, anyone with enough money to do that, probably wouldn't be agonising about what to do!

 

There are a few issues with it though, like which country you're resident in for tax (get it wrong and you'll pay a lot of extra tax especially in Oz), whether you can get insurance for a house that's empty six months at a time, and I believe there are some issues about insuring a car too.