Northwind Posted April 12, 2016 Share Posted April 12, 2016 We are both from England and have been here a few years.we now have an 11 month old baby but torn between lifestyle and opportunities here and having family around for baby as he's growing up? partner doesn't even want to go back to the uk (in questions about the relationship too at the moment) he believes it is better here for the lifestyle and money that can be earned and says it's miserable in the uk. Myself feels guilty that baby is missing out on having family around and they miss out on all his milestones. I do love the sunshine and lifestyle but i don't have the friends that I have back in the uk and I do miss family, I also believe a place can be what you make it.. Is lifestyle memories more important or memories with family involved? Would I regret giving up this life and going back to the old life which I always felt I wanted to get away from? A lot would be different though as there's a child now and uk may be a happier place this time... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Quoll Posted April 12, 2016 Share Posted April 12, 2016 Get your Aus citizenship before you go then suck it and see! Get your son's UK passport and Bob's your uncle! There are many returnees who have found that people trump places and have embraced UK with a whole new outlook but, equally, lots of relationships flounder when one doesn't want to be where the other goes. I assume you know about The Hague Convention because if he won't go and says you can't take your child, you won't get an Australian court which will allow you to leave with your child. There's not much to choose between two first world countries really - lifestyle is different but just as good. Opportunities are as good, if not better, in UK given its proximity to the wider world. Personally I prefer the weather because I'm not stuck indoors trying not to wilt in the heat and with little kids you have to be so careful of an unforgiving sun. It's a decision only you two can make and sometimes that takes a toll on the relationship and marriage counselling may be a good option. Good luck! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
VERYSTORMY Posted April 12, 2016 Share Posted April 12, 2016 It is probably one of the most common reasons people go back. However, you need to weigh up what is best for you both. Personally, as someone that spent 8 years in Oz and now back in the UK I don't get the lifestyle thing. They are both good and you can have a great lifestyle in either. Likewise money - I am earning the same annual salary as I did in Oz, though for a lot less hours Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dmjg Posted April 12, 2016 Share Posted April 12, 2016 Likewise money - I am earning the same annual salary as I did in Oz, though for a lot less hours This all depends on your industry. As a teacher i earn more in australia, with less red tape, thus less time required to complete the job compared to exactly the same job, same step on the pay scale in the uk. As a nurse my oh earns more in australia per hour, with much better patient ratios. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
VERYSTORMY Posted April 12, 2016 Share Posted April 12, 2016 This all depends on your industry. As a teacher i earn more in australia, with less red tape, thus less time required to complete the job compared to exactly the same job, same step on the pay scale in the uk. As a nurse my oh earns more in australia per hour, with much better patient ratios. Of course - hence why I say it needs weighing up, some will be better off financially in one country or the other. Also, cost of living needs to be taken into account. That is obviously very regional as well. It can seem it if for example you move from central London to Cairns, housing will seem ridiculously cheap. But, if moving from say the east midlands to Sydney, ridiculously expensive. But, from my experience, many will be no better off in Australia. I think this applies to a broad range of professions, but not all. For example, most of my friends work in IT, a few looked at a move to Oz when we made the move, but found it would have meant Melbourne or Sydney, with a salary that is about what they get now, but live in Leicester and Manchester where living costs are a fraction - best friend recently bought a brand new 4 bedroom house in a nice village outside Leicester for what he would pay for a small flat in Sydney. He has a 15 minute commute to work and leads a very good lifestyle - just bought a brand new BMW. They concluded they would be significantly worse off in Australia. Not helped that his wife works in fashion which has much bigger opportunities in the UK. Across my own industry, I have been very surprised that pretty much across the board, people are better paid than in Australian mining. We pay our operators - dozer drivers and things, about £33k a year plus a company car for a 45 hour week - then if they do some overtime, paid at double time, it gets over £40k. In Oz, a residential mine would see them paid about $85k a week for a 60 hour week. But, living usually in a small flea pit town with extortionate rents Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
starlight7 Posted April 12, 2016 Share Posted April 12, 2016 I guess the fact that you are asking for opinions suggests there are a few doubts in your mind. O f course only you can make your own minds up. I would list out the pros and cons but ultimately it how you feel in your hearts. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Northwind Posted April 12, 2016 Author Share Posted April 12, 2016 It is probably one of the most common reasons people go back. However, you need to weigh up what is best for you both. Personally, as someone that spent 8 years in Oz and now back in the UK I don't get the lifestyle thing. They are both good and you can have a great lifestyle in either. Likewise money - I am earning the same annual salary as I did in Oz, though for a lot less hours Yeah I agree with you there. There is a lot to do in the uk if you get out and do it.. Walking, beautiful countryside, nice places to visit and family and friends there to do these things with. I'd love to be sharing experiences with them not just photos on Facebook. my partner just has such a negative view on the uk and sees it as a depressing place because he was in a bad place before he left..but of course things would be different now and he has a child. Although I had decided when pregnant that I would move back with baby but after a visit for 2 months in winter I was ready to get back to the Australian sunshine.. I also noticed the people in the uk were a lot more miserable and complained so much! i guess people just think of the bad weather with the U.K. So therefore it's not as accessible to do outdoors activities with the majority of the year being rain... But on the other hand we end up inside with air con in Queensland because it's too hot in summer haha.. guess when it comes to it everything is down to personal preference and as my mum always said.. follow your heart.. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
VERYSTORMY Posted April 12, 2016 Share Posted April 12, 2016 Yeah I agree with you there. There is a lot to do in the uk if you get out and do it.. Walking, beautiful countryside, nice places to visit and family and friends there to do these things with. I'd love to be sharing experiences with them not just photos on Facebook. my partner just has such a negative view on the uk and sees it as a depressing place because he was in a bad place before he left..but of course things would be different now and he has a child. Although I had decided when pregnant that I would move back with baby but after a visit for 2 months in winter I was ready to get back to the Australian sunshine.. I also noticed the people in the uk were a lot more miserable and complained so much! i guess people just think of the bad weather with the U.K. So therefore it's not as accessible to do outdoors activities with the majority of the year being rain... But on the other hand we end up inside with air con in Queensland because it's too hot in summer haha.. guess when it comes to it everything is down to personal preference and as my mum always said.. follow your heart.. To be honest, I think the amount of rain is a slight myth. Though of course it depends on where you are - Cumbria or Wales is wet. No doubt about it. I am in Windsor and as part of my job, I have to keep a diary of the weather conditions. I have been back a month now. In that month, we have had 3 very wet days, a few with showers mainly early morning and the rest have been fine. It is so warm here at the moment I have my windows open. Most days have been sunny with crisp mornings, though mornings have been a lot milder the last few days. As for miserable, personally never seen it. But, again, it might be function of where you live. Everyone we run into here has been happy and smiling. We were in the pub on Sunday and a crowd of locals came over to laugh and joke with us - we were clearly Leicester city supporters and they were Spurs fans and we all had a couple if beers and lot of laughter. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bungo Posted April 12, 2016 Share Posted April 12, 2016 To be honest, I think the amount of rain is a slight myth. Though of course it depends on where you are - Cumbria or Wales is wet. No doubt about it. . I sit here scratching my head many days wondering why people have this exaggerated sense of UK weather and think things like "majority of the year being rain". It is absolutely nothing of the sort, the long term average is about one day in three which is much the same frequency as many of the major cities in Australia. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sassy Duck Posted April 12, 2016 Share Posted April 12, 2016 To be honest, I think the amount of rain is a slight myth. Though of course it depends on where you are - Cumbria or Wales is wet. No doubt about it. I am in Windsor and as part of my job, I have to keep a diary of the weather conditions. I have been back a month now. In that month, we have had 3 very wet days, a few with showers mainly early morning and the rest have been fine. It is so warm here at the moment I have my windows open. Most days have been sunny with crisp mornings, though mornings have been a lot milder the last few days. As for miserable, personally never seen it. But, again, it might be function of where you live. Everyone we run into here has been happy and smiling. We were in the pub on Sunday and a crowd of locals came over to laugh and joke with us - we were clearly Leicester city supporters and they were Spurs fans and we all had a couple if beers and lot of laughter. It is not a myth, the uk does get a lot of rainy days and grey skys but that's the uk and most people just moan about it and get on with life. To be fair you've only been back a very short time so you're still in the honeymoon period but saying that you'll probably love living in the uk, it's a great place if the weather doesn't bother you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sassy Duck Posted April 12, 2016 Share Posted April 12, 2016 I sit here scratching my head many days wondering why people have this exaggerated sense of UK weather and think things like "majority of the year being rain". It is absolutely nothing of the sort, the long term average is about one day in three which is much the same frequency as many of the major cities in Australia. It's not exaggerated, there are a lot of rainy grey days in the uk, but that's the uk we all know. People moan about the weather all the time...it's a uk tradition! :wink: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sassy Duck Posted April 12, 2016 Share Posted April 12, 2016 We are both from England and have been here a few years.we now have an 11 month old baby but torn between lifestyle and opportunities here and having family around for baby as he's growing up?partner doesn't even want to go back to the uk (in questions about the relationship too at the moment) he believes it is better here for the lifestyle and money that can be earned and says it's miserable in the uk. Myself feels guilty that baby is missing out on having family around and they miss out on all his milestones. I do love the sunshine and lifestyle but i don't have the friends that I have back in the uk and I do miss family, I also believe a place can be what you make it.. Is lifestyle memories more important or memories with family involved? Would I regret giving up this life and going back to the old life which I always felt I wanted to get away from? A lot would be different though as there's a child now and uk may be a happier place this time... Perhaps go back for a few months visit? So hard when children come along, your priorities change massively. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sammy1 Posted April 12, 2016 Share Posted April 12, 2016 Perhaps go back for a few months visit? So hard when children come along, your priorities change massively. The OP's partner does not want to go back, so that seems not to be an option. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sassy Duck Posted April 12, 2016 Share Posted April 12, 2016 The OP's partner does not want to go back, so that seems not to be an option. I know but it may help her settle a little more when she comes back?? Like I say it's soo hard when children come along as it's natural to want to be around family etc. Even harder when your partner is intent on staying. Difficult position to be in. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sammy1 Posted April 12, 2016 Share Posted April 12, 2016 I know but it may help her settle a little more when she comes back?? Like I say it's soo hard when children come along as it's natural to want to be around family etc. Even harder when your partner is intent on staying. Difficult position to be in. Yes it is and it is one I have experienced for years. The OP may find it helpful to go back for a holiday, but a few months is a whole other story and would require the permission of the Father. It's a tricky situation. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sassy Duck Posted April 12, 2016 Share Posted April 12, 2016 Of course - hence why I say it needs weighing up, some will be better off financially in one country or the other. Also, cost of living needs to be taken into account. That is obviously very regional as well. It can seem it if for example you move from central London to Cairns, housing will seem ridiculously cheap. But, if moving from say the east midlands to Sydney, ridiculously expensive. But, from my experience, many will be no better off in Australia. I think this applies to a broad range of professions, but not all. For example, most of my friends work in IT, a few looked at a move to Oz when we made the move, but found it would have meant Melbourne or Sydney, with a salary that is about what they get now, but live in Leicester and Manchester where living costs are a fraction - best friend recently bought a brand new 4 bedroom house in a nice village outside Leicester for what he would pay for a small flat in Sydney. He has a 15 minute commute to work and leads a very good lifestyle - just bought a brand new BMW. They concluded they would be significantly worse off in Australia. Not helped that his wife works in fashion which has much bigger opportunities in the UK. Across my own industry, I have been very surprised that pretty much across the board, people are better paid than in Australian mining. We pay our operators - dozer drivers and things, about £33k a year plus a company car for a 45 hour week - then if they do some overtime, paid at double time, it gets over £40k. In Oz, a residential mine would see them paid about $85k a week for a 60 hour week. But, living usually in a small flea pit town with extortionate rents Now you have moved back to the uk please don't start the uk vs oz comparison. :daydreaming: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sammy1 Posted April 12, 2016 Share Posted April 12, 2016 Now you have moved back to the uk please don't start the uk vs oz comparison. :daydreaming: I don't think Very Stormy was to be honest. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sassy Duck Posted April 12, 2016 Share Posted April 12, 2016 Yes it is and it is one I have experienced for years. The OP may find it helpful to go back for a holiday, but a few months is a whole other story and would require the permission of the Father. It's a tricky situation. That's hard for you. :daydreaming:Yes tricky situation with no easy outcome. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sassy Duck Posted April 12, 2016 Share Posted April 12, 2016 I don't think Very Stormy was to be honest. He's compared wages, housing and opportunities in the uk with Australia. All negative about Australia...no need imo. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest The Pom Queen Posted April 12, 2016 Share Posted April 12, 2016 He's compared wages, housing and opportunities in the uk with Australia. All negative about Australia...no need imo. The OP asked for information, a little hard to give an answer if he can't mention Australia or the UK. I know Verystormy loves both countries so I don't know what the issue is? As admin I am happy for him to continue helping the OP with advice. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sassy Duck Posted April 12, 2016 Share Posted April 12, 2016 The OP asked for information, a little hard to give an answer if he can't mention Australia or the UK. I know Verystormy loves both countries so I don't know what the issue is? As admin I am happy for him to continue helping the OP with advice. Totally agree he has to mention both countries, but just don't know why he has to compare with negative comments about Australia that's all. Anyway back on track :wink: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Northwind Posted April 13, 2016 Author Share Posted April 13, 2016 To be honest, I think the amount of rain is a slight myth. Though of course it depends on where you are - Cumbria or Wales is wet. No doubt about it. I am in Windsor and as part of my job, I have to keep a diary of the weather conditions. I have been back a month now. In that month, we have had 3 very wet days, a few with showers mainly early morning and the rest have been fine. It is so warm here at the moment I have my windows open. Most days have been sunny with crisp mornings, though mornings have been a lot milder the last few days. . i went back for 2 months when bub was 6 months old.. Christmas time when Cumbria had the awful flooding. I am from the Lake District, up North which doesn't get as nice weather as down south.. But this isn't a huge Concern of mine - more my partners. Due to the weather at that time I was ready to get back to Australia but of course that was winter and not the best of weather conditions. I will be going back in July (summer) for 5 weeks so I am hoping this will give me more of an idea about things too. I guess all I can do is wait and see. I have been wondering if it would be better for family to see baby whilst he is changing and developing so much then maybe move back to oz later on in life... But then on the other hand that gets family attached then taking him away from them. Anyway I appreciate all feedback as I want to hear other people's experiences with moving back. This may help me get an idea of the way I may feel if I do so. Thank you Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Northwind Posted April 13, 2016 Author Share Posted April 13, 2016 It's not exaggerated, there are a lot of rainy grey days in the uk, but that's the uk we all know. People moan about the weather all the time...it's a uk tradition! :wink: haha it sure is! Typical poms ? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Banana707 Posted April 13, 2016 Share Posted April 13, 2016 So hard and if you go back without your partner you will need his permission to take the baby with you. Also are you happy to be a single parent in the UK? I am in a similar position in the moment but without the baby so really feel for you. My partner wont go back (he is a pom as well) so if I go back Ill do it alone. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paul1Perth Posted April 13, 2016 Share Posted April 13, 2016 Sounds like it's nothing to do with the baby and all about whay you want. Kids don't miss what they don't have. Think back to when you were young, did you really see lots of your aunts and uncles and grandparents? Most don't and kids make friends wherever they are. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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