Northwind

I felt like this after a year, after 2 years, and finally started to get over the home sickness and stop constantly thinking about moving back to the uk. Been here nearly 4 years now and now don't feel homesick like I used to. But England will always be 'home' and I am still undecided if I will move back (the thought is still there) but want you to know that for myself that empty/lonely feeling and homesickness does ease. i found once I started to meet more people.. Doing sports was a good way

wow! I wasn't sure if I was reading a post from my partner then! Your story is pretty much identical to mine! we are both from the uk, I lived in a town 10 minutes from where he was from in the uk. He is 30 years old, I am 25. How old is your wife? He was here in oz first and we got together over here. Now have a baby boy. How old is your boy by the way? I have been thinking of moving back due to family and friends missing out on our boy and him missing out on those family connections. I am also eligible for citizenship next March! My boy and partner both already have (well partner is applying). it has been really good to read the mans side of the situation. My partner doesn't want to go back at all as he relates it to being a miserable depressing place, although I have tried to explain he is older now and has a child so the uk would not be the same for him as it once was when he was single without a child. Although he doesn't want to move back I know if it came to it then he would do so. i have already been back for 2 months when baby was 6 months and I am heading back in July for another 4 week visit. (Have spent so much over the last 3 years on flights visiting the uk!) i have learnt from this forum that my best bet is to wait and get my citizenship too. I now feel more settled and comfortable that I have a plan. I would hate for my child to move here to oz later on in life and I can't follow if I want to. I have also learnt that maybe moving and trying a different place in oz might be good for us too. I am in Mackay and my sister is in Perth and a few other friends who followed shortly after I came to oz. I have heard it is a nice place and great for children.. Would you agree? i totally get what your partner means about the family and not making friends the same as back in the uk... No offence to Australians and I have some good Australian friends but I have found myself that they are harder to click with than English people and it's difficult to build those good bonds. best of luck to you and I wonder where this time next year we will all be!! Will be interesting to keep tabs and check later on down the line. Feel free to inbox me anytime or your partner if she wants to talk to somebody who understands!

It isn't about a need to live near my mother. I have managed it all on my own so far.. As much as I would have loved to have my mother at the labour and watch my child grow, I chose to be here. I am the child's mother and I won't and don't depend on other family members.. It is actually a lot more about others than myself.. After seeing the joy that he brought his grandparents (who are only getting older) their years are limited now and it makes me sad that they are missing out on beautiful memories with their grandchild. I also grew grew up loving the fact that I had lots of family around me and over time friends have come and gone but family is always there, it would be kind of sad if my child grew to not be close to any other family members, I think they will have an important input on his life. Those memories with grandparents and other family are special and always remembered.. And now I am here kind of answering my own question I guess!

haha it sure is! Typical poms ?

i went back for 2 months when bub was 6 months old.. Christmas time when Cumbria had the awful flooding. I am from the Lake District, up North which doesn't get as nice weather as down south.. But this isn't a huge Concern of mine - more my partners. Due to the weather at that time I was ready to get back to Australia but of course that was winter and not the best of weather conditions. I will be going back in July (summer) for 5 weeks so I am hoping this will give me more of an idea about things too. I guess all I can do is wait and see. I have been wondering if it would be better for family to see baby whilst he is changing and developing so much then maybe move back to oz later on in life... But then on the other hand that gets family attached then taking him away from them. Anyway I appreciate all feedback as I want to hear other people's experiences with moving back. This may help me get an idea of the way I may feel if I do so. Thank you

Yeah I agree with you there. There is a lot to do in the uk if you get out and do it.. Walking, beautiful countryside, nice places to visit and family and friends there to do these things with. I'd love to be sharing experiences with them not just photos on Facebook. my partner just has such a negative view on the uk and sees it as a depressing place because he was in a bad place before he left..but of course things would be different now and he has a child. Although I had decided when pregnant that I would move back with baby but after a visit for 2 months in winter I was ready to get back to the Australian sunshine.. I also noticed the people in the uk were a lot more miserable and complained so much! i guess people just think of the bad weather with the U.K. So therefore it's not as accessible to do outdoors activities with the majority of the year being rain... But on the other hand we end up inside with air con in Queensland because it's too hot in summer haha.. guess when it comes to it everything is down to personal preference and as my mum always said.. follow your heart..

Women spend too much time assessing a lot of things. It is in their nature. Id like to thank everyone for their helpful responses it does help weigh things up better in my head hearing from others especially at a time that can feel very lonely. Not having close friends and family at the other side of the world with me is not easy. After having a child makes it even harder but I've done pretty well so far. sometimes in these situations advice is needed from others when a lot of time is spent alone with your own thoughts. A relationship is about being happy which obviously impacts a child and if it becomes an unhappy environment then the child would be better off with parents separated unfortunately. Rather than just give up, I have come for help. typical there is always rude responses on the internet these days. From a short post on here you actually don't have a clue of what I may be going through.. So I wouldn't refer to it as a 'cop out'. People are too quick to judge and give negative feedback. So thanks for that. I am growing up everyday with different experiences, as are we all. i don't need you to tell me to grow up. Thanks

Sorry I didn't make it clear... Myself and my partner are both British citizens who come from the same town in England

We are all British citizens and the baby has dual citizenship as we applied for both passports

Unfortunately relationships Australia was the counselling service I wanted to use but they have no space here. There is limited resources for counselling in this town. unfortunately this isn't the first time these questions have been in my mind, I understand having a baby can change things in a relationship but there has been times in the past I have felt like this but thought things would work...

I am aware of The Hague Convention and my partner has already said in the past that if I wanted to go back to the UK then he would let that happen but he would probably stay here. if it came to it though I think we may both end up moving back as he doesn't have as much as he thinks he does here when taking away myself and his child.nhe has amazing friends in the UK and doesn't have the same bonds here

We are both from England and have been here a few years.we now have an 11 month old baby but torn between lifestyle and opportunities here and having family around for baby as he's growing up? partner doesn't even want to go back to the uk (in questions about the relationship too at the moment) he believes it is better here for the lifestyle and money that can be earned and says it's miserable in the uk. Myself feels guilty that baby is missing out on having family around and they miss out on all his milestones. I do love the sunshine and lifestyle but i don't have the friends that I have back in the uk and I do miss family, I also believe a place can be what you make it.. Is lifestyle memories more important or memories with family involved? Would I regret giving up this life and going back to the old life which I always felt I wanted to get away from? A lot would be different though as there's a child now and uk may be a happier place this time...

Thank you for your response Lorna. Just viewed your profile and we have lived in a couple of places the same.. One of which I am living there now and if it wasn't for my partner then I wouldn't really choose to live here. If we did break up then there's so many questions. Would I stay in Australia.. Would I stay where we are now or move to a city where I have friends from the uk living. I wouldn't want to split up and rush back to the uk and I also wouldn't want to take his child away from him. I can't actually believe what a difficult situation I have found myself in... But I do know if there wasn't a child involved I probably wouldn't still be hanging around. i do love him but there is definitely something missing which I keep searching for and haven't found... I guess I can't force things to work or to feel things just because we have a child and he is a good person. im scared to make the step to break up and then not know what will happen or if it's the wrong choice. We have tried counselling but only went once and didn't feel it would go anywhere with that counsellor. he works away so I do feel quite alone sometimes and it doesn't help.. But the sad thing is I also feel alone when he's around and have started to enjoy my own company more Do do you have children involved? Did you move back to the uk?

I have been in Australia just over 3 years. I met my partner back home in the uk and later joined him in Australia. We now have an 11 month old baby. For a long time now I have been trying to get something from the relationship, feeling like I need more of a feeling. Unfortunately I have come to realise I think I am no longer in love with my partner but he doesn't know it.. Although he suspects it. i am torn what to do. I don't want to break his heart but I think he deserves somebody who is totally sure of their love for him and a relationship. I want us to work so much but I can't help but feel something is missing and it's been like this for over a year and I am always questioning. all our family is back in the uk who I do miss and I don't like them missing out on our baby growing up but I don't know if I want to move back there. That is another ongoing question in my head. My partner definitely doesn't want to move back to the uk. So I am so torn what to do or even if breaking up should be an option? It's difficult to even try a break and see if it's the right decision as we live together and share everything.. Including a child now. I just don't even know where to start but what u do know is I can't keep searching for answers to questions in my head and slowly becoming unhappy deep down because of it. Would I really be questioning the relationship so often if it was truly right for me...