between a rock and a hard place....doh

[jgt]

Well its a funny one. I visited Brisbane in 2000 and fell for it hook line and sinker, cheap houses nice city, met steve Irwin and so decided that's where I was going. Fast forward 12 years and 2 kids later along with a constant nagging of the other half we applied for our PR visas and were sent to Perth.

I left a business in the UK during the recession and thought it was a shrewd move, I was also concerned about immigration and where it was all heading etc. Here I am 2 years and 3 months in and I am physically and mentally knackered. The high cost of living and the downturn in construction along with the upturn in construction in the UK as indicated by fellow uk workers has made me think of returning. However this is where my wife is of a different opinion. It took me years to persuade her to come here and now she doesn't want to return to the Uk.I t would probably be prudent to stay until we get our full citizenship but financially its crippling us.I was thinking of going back to re establish my old business and make some money to return. It was a niche business and very rewarding financially and I know it can be rekindled. I also miss the late shopping eating culture, a good curry, good customer service, and to be frank here in Perth its boring as . Has anyone been in the same situation, should we go to Brisbane, would that as a city and place be more happening.

Similar experiences appreciated, and please no off topic such as , immigration in the Uk, or Aus v Uk etc

 

Thanks guys

[xxlornaxx]

I would def try a different city before you decide Aus isn't for you, plus sounds like your wife would b more agreeable to that. Aus is sooooo different from state to state and also big difference from capital cities to regional areas. Getting citizenship would be best before big decisions made especially when u n ur wife feel differently. We first lived in Sydney but wasn't for us so moved onto regional area but then my husband wanted to return to uk which I reluctantly agreed to, very quickly he felt it was a mistake n 6 months later we're back in Aus. This is home now n going back is not an option, you can always compare where is better or you can get on in the country ur in n make it work even if it means moving state, so many different opportunities in different places.....I have no idea about your work though but sounds to me like it be worth staying in Aus.

[ali]

I would definitely try another state, maybe do a rekki though so it's not out of the frying pan and into the fire - Maybe Melbourne would tick your boxes. If you're wife doesn't want to go back, the plan of you returning to rekindle your business might put an addition strain on your relationship.

[HappyHeart]

Who sent you to Perth?:eek: Maybe you ought to have followed your first instincts.

The things you say you miss indicate you'll not be happy in Brisbane, it sounds like you've decided what you want and it's not the same as the wife. I'd sit down and have a good chat with her tbh and reach a compromise that has goals and time limits then reassess.

[dxboz]

If you are stuck out in the suburbs in Perth that would probably be pretty boring. I live in Fremantle and there is so much going on - no way could you be bored. I definitely agree with the high cost of living though. Perhaps you should research Brisbane a bit more as that was your first choice before going back to UK. Construction is on a massive downturn in Perth and will be for the foreseeable future so probably a good time to leave if you are not happy here anyway.

[jgt]

Who sent you to Perth?:eek: Maybe you ought to have followed your first instincts.

The things you say you miss indicate you'll not be happy in Brisbane, it sounds like you've decided what you want and it's not the same as the wife. I'd sit down and have a good chat with her tbh and reach a compromise that has goals and time limits then reassess.

 

 

Hi there when I applied for my visa I was offered a fast track due to my trade and the conditions were that I stayed in Perth for 2 years. I have now done my sentence lol

[jgt]

If you are stuck out in the suburbs in Perth that would probably be pretty boring. I live in Fremantle and there is so much going on - no way could you be bored. I definitely agree with the high cost of living though. Perhaps you should research Brisbane a bit more as that was your first choice before going back to UK. Construction is on a massive downturn in Perth and will be for the foreseeable future so probably a good time to leave if you are not happy here anyway.

 

Yes im in the souless north, and construction has fallen on hard times. I don't mind working hard I just don't have anything to show for it. Last year I did 100 k the wife works part time. We are skint, we don't drink,party,and haven't been on holiday anywhere yet .Some monies were spent establishing ourselves but it seems to be a bottomless pit here,

Not only that whenever we are able to eat out we are treated like we owe them a favour, lol May try another state

[PommyPaul]

i'm slightly biased but have you considered hobart? i think you'll be pleasantly surprised plus there's a building boom here so a few of the locals have said, good luck in what you choose..

[Quoll]

If you liked Brisbane then try that but, bottom line, you've got to be somewhere that enables you to put a roof over your head and food on your plate. Sometimes you have to cut your losses and maybe be somewhere you dont totally want to be in order to do that. If you and your wife aren't on the same page then marriage counselling sooner rather than later might help you resolve the conflict and suss out a compromise. If your options really are better in UK then it may be the best place to be. Once you've got dual citizenship then you can come and go at will. Rock and hard place indeed - good luck with it!

[dxboz]

If you don't drink go out much or party I am at a loss as to why you are skint - unless you have a huge mortgage? As I said previously do your research on Brisbane but choose where you live wisely cos if you live out in the suburbs again miles from the city sounds like you will be bored there also. If you like Perth weather I would also look at Brisbane over the other states. Similar weather although more tropical and humid.

[jgt]

If you don't drink go out much or party I am at a loss as to why you are skint - unless you have a huge mortgage? As I said previously do your research on Brisbane but choose where you live wisely cos if you live out in the suburbs again miles from the city sounds like you will be bored there also. If you like Perth weather I would also look at Brisbane over the other states. Similar weather although more tropical and humid.

 

Indeed good advice, although I must point out I do not have mortage,( Yes im mystified too) but we are moving house as our rent is 650 per week which is a good chunk of cash, so all will help. Brisbane may be the Answer, thanks for the help

[Jacaranda]

Well tbh,if you had to nag your wife for a long time to make the move,I'm not surprised she is digging her heels in not to return to the UK.She would of invested a lot of time thinking about that move,leaving her family,friends,job (if she had one back then)home,and there's only so many times a woman would be prepared to do that.I would say if Brisbane was your first choice,I would consider relocating there....but you will need to be 100% sure that's where you're going to stay,for not only yourself,but for your wife and kids sake.

You said you are skint on 100k.How does your wife feel about that?Is she ok with it or is she missing the money and lifestyle you had in the UK,but likes Oz better?You said you had a niche market,could you perhaps start up your own business doing the same thing but in Oz?

Ive never been to Perth,Im from Adelaide.Now Ive read over the years,people saying Adelaide and SA are boring.I disagree.I was never bored living there,and Ive lived in the burbs of Adelaide and later moved to a small country town.Adelaide (and Perth would be the same)usually has quite a lot going on in the way of days out,festivals,music gigs,shows etc.But really on a day to average day level,what do people expect to be doing?

Some people who love Australia,and return to the UK for a visit,sometimes state "Guess what?Everyone we knew were doing the same old,same old"!Really?Well most of my family and friends are in Australia,and they're also doing the same old same old,because that same old is actually people just living their lives.Sometimes life is exciting,sometimes fun,sometimes sad,sometimes boring.So do you think you're expecting too much from Perth hon when you say its boring?

Sometimes when you have kids,life can seem like groundhog day.Ive been there and done it.It can be abit restricting but that's only temp right?Sooner or later your kids will be old enough to stay home alone,and you and your wife can then go out at night when you want,head off for the day or whatever floats your boat.

I guess what Im trying to say is,look a little deeper into your life,and your situation.When your kids get older,your wife could probably work full time,which will then give you more money.Your situation is only temporary,and maybe you need to find some patience to sit that out.As John Lennon said.....Life is what happens while you're busy making other plans!:daydreaming:

[jgt]

Well tbh,if you had to nag your wife for a long time to make the move,I'm not surprised she is digging her heels in not to return to the UK.She would of invested a lot of time thinking about that move,leaving her family,friends,job (if she had one back then)home,and there's only so many times a woman would be prepared to do that.I would say if Brisbane was your first choice,I would consider relocating there....but you will need to be 100% sure that's where you're going to stay,for not only yourself,but for your wife and kids sake.

You said you are skint on 100k.How does your wife feel about that?Is she ok with it or is she missing the money and lifestyle you had in the UK,but likes Oz better?You said you had a niche market,could you perhaps start up your own business doing the same thing but in Oz?

Ive never been to Perth,Im from Adelaide.Now Ive read over the years,people saying Adelaide and SA are boring.I disagree.I was never bored living there,and Ive lived in the burbs of Adelaide and later moved to a small country town.Adelaide (and Perth would be the same)usually has quite a lot going on in the way of days out,festivals,music gigs,shows etc.But really on a day to average day level,what do people expect to be doing?

Some people who love Australia,and return to the UK for a visit,sometimes state "Guess what?Everyone we knew were doing the same old,same old"!Really?Well most of my family and friends are in Australia,and they're also doing the same old same old,because that same old is actually people just living their lives.Sometimes life is exciting,sometimes fun,sometimes sad,sometimes boring.So do you think you're expecting too much from Perth hon when you say its boring?

Sometimes when you have kids,life can seem like groundhog day.Ive been there and done it.It can be abit restricting but that's only temp right?Sooner or later your kids will be old enough to stay home alone,and you and your wife can then go out at night when you want,head off for the day or whatever floats your boat.

I guess what Im trying to say is,look a little deeper into your life,and your situation.When your kids get older,your wife could probably work full time,which will then give you more money.Your situation is only temporary,and maybe you need to find some patience to sit that out.As John Lennon said.....Life is what happens while you're busy making other plans!:daydreaming:

 

yes much of what you say makes sense, however you haven't been to Perth so can only answer in a limited way, thanks tho for the input.

My business is something that cant be replicated here due to house configuration and how people live,

Im in my forties so as you know it takes a long time to set out contacts and similar again. Im just trying to find out other peoples feelings or similar if they having been in a similar position

Thanx again

[flag of convenience]

I agree to live in Perth can be somewhat repetitive, to which any number will refer to as boring. A number of Aussies would agree to such a sentiment. Life that may well appear when young children are on the scene may well take on another dimension when they flee the nest.

 

Few will know until that event occurs. To me and most I know it is the high costs that put a question mark over life here, especially those of us that knew Perth pre boom days and money didn't always appear to be the prime motive for existence.

 

I disagree that all Australian cities are so different. I find more the contrary in fact. Compared to other countries more a uniformity in behaviour and culture. Just more or less. Country or tropical living is where the real difference tend to be not between suburban living in alternative cities.

 

Exchanging Perth for Brisbane? Not sure. If not liking Perth don't see Brisbane as a great change in style, but sure others will disagree. Hobart could be an alternative as some else said?

If your mind is set on return though will an exchange of Australian state capitals really help? Only you can answer that.

[Jacaranda]

No that's true,I haven't been to Perth.I was suggesting you look a little deeper in your situation.

[jgt]

I agree live in Perth can be somewhat repetitive, to which any number will refer to as boring. A number of Aussies would agree to such a sentiment. Life that may well appear when young children are on the scene may well take on another dimension when they flee the nest.

 

Few will know until that event occurs. To me and most I know it is the high costs that put a question mark over life here, especially those of us that knew Perth pre boom days and money didn't always appear to be the prime motive for existence.

 

I disagree that all Australian cities are so different. I find more the contrary in fact. Compared to other countries more a uniformity in behaviour and culture. Just more or less. Country or tropical living is where the real difference tend to be not between suburban living in alternative cities.

 

Exchanging Perth for Brisbane? Not sure. If not liking Perth don't see Brisbane as a great change in style, but sure others will disagree. Hobart could be an alternative as some else said?

If your mind is set on return though will an exchange of Australian state capitals really help? Only you can answer that.

 

Indeed ,good answer, some people will like it some wont, im not set to go back .but wondered if a more busy place may help. Frankly the thought of another winter here with the dark nights doesn't appeal at all. As you know its like ghost town on a night, we got turned away from a coffee shop at 7.40 as they wanted to close! I /we miss the evening culture so another state or city might help.

Its not for everyone and my wifes not as opposed as my thread might have conveyed, its not a case of you go and im not, it would be prudent to get citizenship though and this will enable the kids to come and go.

Thanks

[jgt]

No that's true,I haven't been to Perth.I was suggesting you look a little deeper in your situation.

 

And I will ..:wink:

[flag of convenience]

No that's true,I haven't been to Perth.I was suggesting you look a little deeper in your situation.

 

How deep does the hole need to be before the poster arrives at the core?

[flag of convenience]

Indeed ,good answer, some people will like it some wont, im not set to go back .but wondered if a more busy place may help. Frankly the thought of another winter here with the dark nights doesn't appeal at all. As you know its like ghost town on a night, we got turned away from a coffee shop at 7.40 as they wanted to close! I /we miss the evening culture so another state or city might help.

Its not for everyone and my wifes not as opposed as my thread might have conveyed, its not a case of you go and im not, it would be prudent to get citizenship though and this will enable the kids to come and go.

Thanks

 

I fully agree missing the European and Asian cultures for getting out and about at night. Can be a little akin to living 'down the farm' ( bed at nine up at five) here in excitement levels and passion stakes. One can age here all a little too rapidly as well as becoming a little too socially unresponsive. Well IMO at any least.

[JockinTas]

yes much of what you say makes sense, however you haven't been to Perth so can only answer in a limited way, thanks tho for the input.

My business is something that cant be replicated here due to house configuration and how people live,

Im in my forties so as you know it takes a long time to set out contacts and similar again. Im just trying to find out other peoples feelings or similar if they having been in a similar position

Thanx again

 

My OH was in the building/construction trade for most of his working life. We started out in Sydney and when there was a slump we upped sticks and moved to Perth where there was a bit of a boom happening. This was in the 1980's. By the way we loved living there for the nearly 3 years we were there. We built our own house close to Mullaloo beach and were never bored. When the work dried up in the Perth area we sold the house and moved back to Sydney and bought a house. Lived there for the best part of 28 years. Have never thought of returning to the UK and we are now retired and living in Tasmania.

[Jacaranda]

How deep does the hole need to be before the poster arrives at the core?

Well I guess it depends on how really feel about the place?Sometimes its not actually the place but your attitude towards it,dont you think?Personally,speaking for myself,I would have to ensure a move to Brisbane is as right as it can be,otherwise the OP will be posting back in time,saying Brisbane isn't for them either and now they have the expense of relocating to the UK.

[JockinTas]

Indeed ,good answer, some people will like it some wont, im not set to go back .but wondered if a more busy place may help. Frankly the thought of another winter here with the dark nights doesn't appeal at all. As you know its like ghost town on a night, we got turned away from a coffee shop at 7.40 as they wanted to close! I /we miss the evening culture so another state or city might help.

Its not for everyone and my wifes not as opposed as my thread might have conveyed, its not a case of you go and im not, it would be prudent to get citizenship though and this will enable the kids to come and go.

Thanks

 

No worse than the dark winter nights in the UK surely?

[jgt]

you can still shop after 8.00 pm in the UK :wink:

[JockinTas]

you can still shop after 8.00 pm in the UK :wink:

 

 

Depends where you live in the UK though. Shops closed at 6:00 pm on dot in my area.

[Jessica Berry]

I wonder if the lack of work is just an excuse to return 'home'. I have seen this several times before where people use the line about not being able to get work as a way of returning to the UK, when in fact there is work but they just want to do a specific job and won't consider anything else and the reality is they just want to go back to the UK and this helps justify their return to themselves and the people back in the UK.