Parents in 50s concerned about emigrating to auz

[Guest]

Thanks so much for all your comments...well maybe not all. There seems to be a few people that have a bit of a jealous nature unfortunately, majority of the comments are helpful - thankyou to those of you of whom have a genuine nature to help and not judge.

 

Hopefully a a bit more clarification will help re our situation.

 

1) my parents do have money and are not short of a bob or 2. My parents are lucky that money is not a problem for them.

2) 50s is not old. Especially when they have just turned 50 - im sure there is a lot of people beginning a new life at 50 in Auz

3) I'm on the second stage of my visa and I app,ice for my visa 3 years ago, my brother ( only sibling) also lives in Australia with his wife too.

4) my parents have visited auz several times with myself and my husband

5) the only social activities my parents need is vineyards - they love wine also their grandchildren.

6) not concerned about my husband having a full UK visa we have been married a long time and we can return when we wish, I hardly think they will close the boarder to young working people with a genuine relationship.

7) my friend is a recruitment agent in Auz who is already looking at work for my parents and feels 50 is not too old St all to all those thinking of moving don't let some people's comments put you off. Investigate well, and follow your heart.

 

The downside of a forum is you have to accept that not everyone replying is going to say things you want to read or hear. Or you might not agree with or feel are useful or even relevent to you. One of those things I'm afraid. Of course, on the plus side you do get some interesting and useful feedback and info. I'd not be too ungrateful or unhappy for the views you don't like as at some point in the future they may be the people who know most or can offer great insight into something that will be of importance to you. Only they may not venture forth with that if they've had a rebuke for their help/advice/views in the past.

 

All the points you list, good to read. I do think work might still be an issue, probably the only one. However, thats not to say a job won't happen. But it would be the point that concerns me most about their move. If they have visited Aus before, like it and so on, then fair enough they've made their decision with some proper research taken. I think many would be concerned for anyone making such a move and perhaps spending so much money to go to a country they had never visited. And as you hadn't said either way in your initial post, people were going about their replies from both angles. As happens when the post they are working from doesn't cover certain things so they try to cover all bases in their replies. Its not a bad thing IMHO, just happens on forums and sometimes can throw up some important points.

 

If they can pay for a visa and so on, also all good. Although there are still hoops to jump through, timelines and applications to make etc.

 

My other big concern is I really would get UK citizenship for your husband. The indefinte leave to remain visa will lapse after 2 years being resident elsewhere and spouse visas are very hard to come by due to the requirements for them. Or the financial requirement being met. It won't simply be a case of his visa still being valid or you just applying for a new partner visa and getting it before you return to the UK a few years down the road. There are many heartbreaking stories on the internet where couples cannot return to the UK due to the visa laws now. Its at least worth your time investigating it all properly before you dismiss it as you have.

[Guest]

I'm from a strong financial background. I do not need to worry re visa costs ect. People shouldn't move to Australia if they have financial concerns. My sons education is paid for. I have a house in Australia and the UK. I have no financial worries.

 

Ah, in that case ignore my last point the re UK citizenship in my post above as I had not seen this reply at that point. If you can front up the £64,000 (I think it is this number or close to it anyways) to get back in together as a family should his visa lapse and you don't want to go ahead and get a job for X amount of months before he can apply and be allowed in, you are sorted All good.

Edited October 10, 2015 by Guest
added a line

[Skani]

Any such advice however well-meaning is unwelcome and best directed to other posters.

 

Well, of course...that's what I was intending. :wink:

[Diane]

Having read through this thread - apart from being :shocked: that the excellent advice about getting the OH UK citizenship has been brushed aside - I'd just like to comment as a 50-year old mother. Ok, I don't have grandchildren, but if I did have, once my own kids were old enough to be parents themselves I would be saying "yippee, time for me to live my life for myself for a bit, and not being at the beck and call of my kids as I have been for the last xx years!"

 

50 of course is not old - it is still young enough to go on great holidays, spend time on hobbies, spend time with your friends, and it is a time of great freedom for many, as one's time is again one's own and one can focus on one's own life, instead of the kids'. It is old here in Australia when it comes to looking for a new job. And it is old if it means you have to start re-building a circle of friends from scratch, which you have to do when you move to Australia. I have an 80-yr old friend who spends six months here in Australia where her daughter and family live,m and six months in the UK where her son and family live, and she has said "old friends are gold, new friends are silver" which I think sums it up. Yes, you make new friends, and some of those can be wonderful, but you can never replace people you have grown up as friends with, been through the child-rearing years with, worked for years with etc.

 

I would suggest maybe you get your parents to sign up to the forum - anonymously of course if they wish - so that they can get some feedback from others who have done this.

 

I have to say to the OP that at the moment it looks like you want your parents to move out here for your benefit rather than theirs. Hey, nothing wrong with that, we'd all like that in an ideal world - but your parents deserve their own life and their choices should be based on what they want. If my daughter moved to America, I wouldn't up sticks and move there too, just to babysit, and she wouldn't expect me to.

 

If your parents have plenty of money, perhaps they could consider the six months here/six months there for a bit on a visitor visa. My own folks are in their mid eighties now and have been out to visit at least once a year every year since we've been here. A good relationship with grandchildren is a lot easier to maintain with Skype and cheap phone calls and regular visits.

 

Trust me, us 50 year olds love our kids - and probably grandkids - to bits, but we've done the hard yards and deserve our own lives now!!

[Parley]

Some people actually want to live near their grandchildren, rather than the other side of the world.

 

They actually love their grandchildren.

 

A strange concept to some it seems.

[Diane]

Some people actually want to live near their grandchildren, rather than the other side of the world.

 

They actually love their grandchildren.

 

A strange concept to some it seems.

 

If you were my grandchild, parley, the other side of the world would not be far enough for me!

[Bungo]

I never said I was granted a visa solely on my husband being australian, I was simply explaining my husband is australian and that my visa was not a working visa. I am on my second stage I applied for my visa 3 years ago.

 

time is not an issue, I never said my parents were to move immediately.

 

My my mother is extremely qualified, I spoke to my friend who is a recruitment agent in Australia and she is absolutely sure she will have no issues. So maybe it's not for you to give advice on if people may or may not get jobs unless you are fully aware of their qualifications and experience as you may put others off the move without understanding their capabilities for further reference.

 

You didn't say you got a visa at all, you said you got citizenship! And you said you wanted your parents to move "with" you. I was just commenting on what you posted. Although I won't do again, because I don't see anything but well intentioned responses on this thread but your response to people that have taken time out to respond to you is quite something. Excuse me but I am off to update my ignore list..

[JockinTas]

Having read through this thread - apart from being :shocked: that the excellent advice about getting the OH UK citizenship has been brushed aside - I'd just like to comment as a 50-year old mother. Ok, I don't have grandchildren, but if I did have, once my own kids were old enough to be parents themselves I would be saying "yippee, time for me to live my life for myself for a bit, and not being at the beck and call of my kids as I have been for the last xx years!"

 

50 of course is not old - it is still young enough to go on great holidays, spend time on hobbies, spend time with your friends, and it is a time of great freedom for many, as one's time is again one's own and one can focus on one's own life, instead of the kids'. It is old here in Australia when it comes to looking for a new job. And it is old if it means you have to start re-building a circle of friends from scratch, which you have to do when you move to Australia. I have an 80-yr old friend who spends six months here in Australia where her daughter and family live,m and six months in the UK where her son and family live, and she has said "old friends are gold, new friends are silver" which I think sums it up. Yes, you make new friends, and some of those can be wonderful, but you can never replace people you have grown up as friends with, been through the child-rearing years with, worked for years with etc.

 

I would suggest maybe you get your parents to sign up to the forum - anonymously of course if they wish - so that they can get some feedback from others who have done this.

 

I have to say to the OP that at the moment it looks like you want your parents to move out here for your benefit rather than theirs. Hey, nothing wrong with that, we'd all like that in an ideal world - but your parents deserve their own life and their choices should be based on what they want. If my daughter moved to America, I wouldn't up sticks and move there too, just to babysit, and she wouldn't expect me to.

 

If your parents have plenty of money, perhaps they could consider the six months here/six months there for a bit on a visitor visa. My own folks are in their mid eighties now and have been out to visit at least once a year every year since we've been here. A good relationship with grandchildren is a lot easier to maintain with Skype and cheap phone calls and regular visits.

 

Trust me, us 50 year olds love our kids - and probably grandkids - to bits, but we've done the hard yards and deserve our own lives now!!

 

Mum used to come and stay with us from November until March every 2nd year. She thoroughly enjoyed being here and when I asked her if she would like to live here, her reply was "No, I have my life and friends in Scotland". She wouldn't have settled here. She had a very busy social life and loved her own house and garden. One of my sons is now in Ireland - who knows, he might want to stay there - would I go and live in Ireland to be near him? No way - even if I did have grandchildren. But as we say many, many times on this forum - we are all different.

 

As Diane says, we've done the hard yards and deserve our own lives now.

[Parley]

If you were my grandchild, parley, the other side of the world would not be far enough for me!

 

As I said, you are very unusual.

Most grandparents love their grandchildren dearly and would love nothing more than to live out their twilight years near their loved ones.

[Parley]

Mum used to come and stay with us from November until March every 2nd year. She thoroughly enjoyed being here and when I asked her if she would like to live here, her reply was "No, I have my life and friends in Scotland". She wouldn't have settled here. She had a very busy social life and loved her own house and garden. One of my sons is now in Ireland - who knows, he might want to stay there - would I go and live in Ireland to be near him? No way - even if I did have grandchildren. But as we say many, many times on this forum - we are all different.

 

As Diane says, we've done the hard yards and deserve our own lives now.

 

So you are critical of those grandparents who would like to live near their grandkids ?

 

Perhaps they don't consider it a chore or a hardship to help out either. But they want to.

 

It is not up to us to judge the OP's parents if they want to live near their grandkids.

[Diane]

As I said, you are very unusual.

Most grandparents love their grandchildren dearly and would love nothing more than to live out their twilight years near their loved ones.

 

Well, if I'm in my 'twilight years' now I've hit 50, then it's gonna be a long evening! My parents love their grandkids, my kids love their grandparents. They don't have to live across the road to them for that. A good parent raises an independent child who is confident enough in their love to not have to be able to clutch the apron strings at every opportunity.

[JockinTas]

As I said, you are very unusual.

Most grandparents love their grandchildren dearly and would love nothing more than to live out their twilight years near their loved ones.

 

So if one of your children accepted a good job offer in the UK and moved there permanently to live, then got married and had children, you would move over there to be close to them? Also many parents in the UK have grandchildren there so why would they move to Australia to be near their Aussie grand kids. Sure it's not easy but I think it depends on how independent you are. My parents always encouraged us to travel and lead our own lives and I made sure I did the same with my sons.

[Bungo]

Ah, in that case ignore my last point the re UK citizenship in my post above as I had not seen this reply at that point. If you can front up the £64,000 (I think it is this number or close to it anyways) to get back in together as a family should his visa lapse and you don't want to go ahead and get a job for X amount of months before he can apply and be allowed in, you are sorted All good.

 

To be honest, I think OH getting citizenship is a good idea regardless. What if the couple split up, it happens to one in three. The British spouse might move back to the UK in the future along with by then adult children and Australian spouse could find himself living on other side of world from the family with absolutely no way of getting to UK. Still OP doesn't want to know..

[Parley]

I didn't say that. But in this particular case it seems we have grand parents who want to come and children who want them to come also.

 

A perfectly valid choice and not to be criticised by others.

[JockinTas]

I didn't say that. But in this particular case it seems we have grand parents who want to come and children who want them to come also.

 

A perfectly valid choice and not to be criticised by others.

 

OK - fair enough.

[Diane]

I didn't say that. But in this particular case it seems we have grand parents who want to come and children who want them to come also.

 

A perfectly valid choice and not to be criticised by others.

 

Suggest you go back and read the original post - I think the phrase used was "My Dad is not so keen..."

[Bungo]

I didn't say that. But in this particular case it seems we have grand parents who want to come and children who want them to come also.

 

A perfectly valid choice and not to be criticised by others.

 

PC, I think you and Fosh are reading a different thread. Nobody has criticised the grandparents for wanting to move, although note that Grandpa doesn't want to move anyway. Some people are merely giving advice on the potential pitfalls of moving later in life and suggesting possible alternatives.

 

I suspect it is a rather self centred OP that really wants the parents to move and doesn't seem to give a hoot about her parents or husbands welfare - as evidenced by the attitude towards husband getting UK citizenship, he could be in for heartbreak later in life.

[Peachy]

I would love my parents to come and live over here with me and my sister. They have expressed some interest - particularly my mum - but my dad is reluctant to leave his network of friends and family. Of course they miss their grandchildren but they also recognise that in the long term, who knows where we will be living; to uproot their lives for us would need some extremely careful thought. They too have a reasonable amount of money and could afford the visa and to have a comfortable life here, but they would still be very reliant upon me and my sister. In the same way that they would not want to hold me back, I don't want my desires to be a happy family in Australia to impinge on their life choices.

[Parley]

PC, I think you and Fosh are reading a different thread. Nobody has criticised the grandparents for wanting to move, although note that Grandpa doesn't want to move anyway. Some people are merely giving advice on the potential pitfalls of moving later in life and suggesting possible alternatives.

 

I suspect it is a rather self centred OP that really wants the parents to move and doesn't seem to give a hoot about her parents or husbands welfare - as evidenced by the attitude towards husband getting UK citizenship, he could be in for heartbreak later in life.

 

Its just annoying when people can't help themselves but make value judgements about what others as grandparents or parents want to do.

Can't people just give practical advice that was asked for and forget the sermonising ?

[Bungo]

Its just annoying when people can't help themselves but make value judgements about what others as grandparents or parents want to do.

Can't people just give practical advice that was asked for and forget the sermonising ?

 

I can only see practical advice.

[Freckleface]

Hi guys,

 

i was granted citizenship to australia this year, as my husband is australian, we currently live up north in the UK in the same village as my family. We are emigrating next summer. My mum would love to move to Australia with us, as we have an 8 month old little boy she wants to see grow up and help me look after. My dad is not so keen but is willing to go over to Australia with an open mind. My dad is in his early 50s and is an area sales manager within a bakery sector and is concerned about getting a job in Australia and starting again, has anyone been through this? My mum is qualified to work with severe learning disabilities so she will be fine for a jib as she has excellent experience.

 

Anyone starting over again is their 50s?

Anyone emigrating to be with their grandchildren?

Anyone working in sales and concerned about getting a job?

 

I don't think the majority of Australian employers are ageist. I think some people have difficulty finding work because their skills, applications etc are simply not competitive. However, I do think your father is right to be concerned about finding employment given his background is in managerial roles in sales. I also think he would be lucky to find a role at the same level as the one he has in the UK. He will need to have an exemplary record of exceeding KPI's and market expansion over a sustained period of time to be seriously considered for roles.

 

Even setting aside the difficulty he might have in obtaining employment he needs to consider his retirement plans. He would need to be paid very well indeed to set aside sufficient superannuation to even think about retiring at 60 or 65. Many Australians retire at 55 and some of us retire at 50. How will your dad feel if he sees his contemporaries leaving the workforce if he can't? I realise he will have some UK pension but when can he access that and will it be sufficient to live well on and continue to live well on over time.

 

If your dad was excited about moving I wouldn't be concerned because the potential down sides would be balanced by him wanting to be here and the adventure/challenge but it sounds as though his arm is being twisted and that puts things in a different light.

 

I hope things work out for all of you but please don't dismiss or make light of your dads concerns. He will be risking far more than you will be.

[Quoll]

Its just annoying when people can't help themselves but make value judgements about what others as grandparents or parents want to do.

Can't people just give practical advice that was asked for and forget the sermonising ?

As far as I can see, no one was having a go at the grandparents for wanting to be near their grandkids! It just seems to be you that has taken that line of thinking. If they want to chase their kids/grandkids around the world that's up to them. That wasn't what suggestions for the OP were about at all. No value judgement about that desire at all.

[Fisher1]

Parley, I always find your posts interesting but I think you could start a fight in an empty room. :-)

 

For the record, nobody is criticising anyone's choices that I can see - we are all different, and the balance of our families are different. I love the idea of moving to Australia because I see it as a big adventure that will allow me to see more of my only adult child and my only grandson. Some people have large families and want to stay where they are. Lets just smile and say pax about it, and with the OP the best of luck. I'm out.

[Marisawright]

Some people actually want to live near their grandchildren, rather than the other side of the world.

 

Of course they do, parley, why would you every think otherwise? The question is, are you so desperate to be near them that you're willing to give up all your friends, risk being unemployed, risk being in poverty in your old age? Some people realise that their grandchild is their child's child, not theirs - so if they move to Australia, they still can't expect to see that precious grandchild every day, or even every week, so they need to have a life they can enjoy in between. Everyone will weigh that scales differently.

 

And BTW, no one was having a go at the parents for wanting to migrate. The mother is thinking about it, the father is NOT keen - the OP is asking us to suggest ways to persuade them to do it.

Edited October 11, 2015 by Marisawright