jono119 Posted September 23, 2015 Share Posted September 23, 2015 Hello to all! I have only posted once on here before but I am hoping for some sort of relief by sharing my story... I have recently been on holiday to the UK and since coming back I have never been as depressed and as upset in my entire life as I am now. I have lost interest in most things, including my music and the gym and just want to go home. People say it's because I have just got back, but I know deep down I have to give the UK a go for myself. There is just one problem....my extravagant lifestyle. To cut a long story short I have a car on St George finance of which I owe $64,000. The car is now worth about $44,000. I am not allowed to sell the car due to the fact that the loan is secured and the car is the security, and I am finding it hard to apply for a personal loan to cover the shortfall. I am just trying to do the right thing, I don't want to run off. I know this is all of my own doing and I regret 100% of buying it but I need to find a way out. Has anybody ever had that feeling of pure suffocation and being stuck? I have been so down that I have seen counsellors through my workplace and last night I even went to the doctor who has, of no surprise to me, gave me a dose of anti-depressants. I know it is my fault, I know I shouldn't have purchased the car and I honestly believe it was to 'keep me occupied' over here as I have never truly settled. If anybody can offer any advice or see a way out of this mess then please let me know. I have never felt this down before and feel like I am going round in circles. I appreciate any help I can get to assist me out of my situation. Thank you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bristolman Posted September 23, 2015 Share Posted September 23, 2015 You aren't alone in finding yourself in this position. The car issue is a common one, the biggest problem with cars is the massive depreciation as soon as you drive out the showroom. Some would say just hand the car back and walk away if you decide to move back. Of course I wouldn't recommend such action. Unless you are able to finance the shortfall your options are limited I'm afraid. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bungo Posted September 23, 2015 Share Posted September 23, 2015 Well as you could afford to spend that much on a car, I guess you are not on bread street. In this case, walk away, take the financial hit. Some things are more important than money. And yes I have always put happiness before money so I am not being flippant. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
starlight7 Posted September 23, 2015 Share Posted September 23, 2015 Go bankrupt? At the very least see a financial counsellor. Way out of it would be to work your butt off of course, if that is indeed possible. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Marisawright Posted September 23, 2015 Share Posted September 23, 2015 If you declare bankruptcy, you need the trustee's permission to go overseas, so that could be a risky option. I'd say you really need to see a financial advisor to work out your options. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
boganbear Posted September 23, 2015 Share Posted September 23, 2015 $64k is more than any people earn in a year. You need to get a bit of perspective and become more financially literate or think about things more carefully. Cut your cloth to your means and pay the loan off asap. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shellybingobingo Posted September 23, 2015 Share Posted September 23, 2015 $64k is more than any people earn in a year. You need to get a bit of perspective and become more financially literate or think about things more carefully. Cut your cloth to your means and pay the loan off asap. Dont not think that's going help him do you ? Financially literate wtf ! Bank managers psychologists grammar police I've heard it all ! My my best advice to the op don't come on here for advice they just shoot u down ! And say how irresponsible Uve been or move back or u say ya missing home all of a sudden this was the wrong move u won't be happy anywhere ! ! follow your heart ! just needs the riot act reading to him now ! He will sleep wonderfully tonight ! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Freckleface Posted September 23, 2015 Share Posted September 23, 2015 Based on your post from 2013 where you said you were 21 I am guessing you are around 23 now. Perhaps your best course of action would be to talk to your parents and seek their guidance/assistance. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ali Posted September 23, 2015 Share Posted September 23, 2015 Dont not think that's going help him do you ? Financially literate wtf ! Bank managers psychologists grammar police I've heard it all ! My my best advice to the op don't come on here for advice they just shoot u down ! And say how irresponsible Uve been or move back or u say ya missing home all of a sudden this was the wrong move u won't be happy anywhere ! ! follow your heart ! just needs the riot act reading to him now ! He will sleep wonderfully tonight ! When you ask for advice on an open forum from a lot of people you're going to get very diverse answers. People won't necessarily being having a go or shooting someone down but making observations. When we ask what we should do, there's always a chance we won't like some of the answers. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Johndoe Posted September 23, 2015 Share Posted September 23, 2015 Sorry mate but at the risk of sounding cruel, you've made your own bed. You said way back in 2013 that you were going to get your act together, save like crazy and go back to the UK and yet here you still are, 2 yrs later, with a 66k car and an empty wallet because you took a trip back???? How much would the plane fare have been back in 2013? Whatever happened to the "save like crazy"? Why did you come back here in 2015 when you wanted to return back there in 2013? I'm sorry, but to me, judging from what few posts you've made, the holiday that you just took, and the debt that you've got yourself into, that you really don't know what you want. You got some good advice back then and yet here you still are, with the same dilemma. You don't need to ask the questions now, as you know what you should have done with the advice that you got back then. So are you just looking (yet again) for a friendly ear to listen to your problem, with no real intention of listening to any advice, or are you really going to get your shlt together this time? I hope you do because you know what needs doing without asking us. Pull your finger out, decide what you really want, beware of the "happy pills" unless you're seriously depressed and not just feeling sorry for yourself, as tthey could hinder any chance of you making raitional decisions if over, or wrongly prescribed, and good luck Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shellybingobingo Posted September 23, 2015 Share Posted September 23, 2015 When you ask for advice on an open forum from a lot of people you're going to get very diverse answers. People won't necessarily being having a go or shooting someone down but making observations. When we ask what we should do, there's always a chance we won't like some of the answers. I I understand that Ali ! But in his post it reads he 100percent regrets it and it's all his own doing ! Don't think he needs hear that's more than some earn because what has that got do with anyone else ! Also he doesn't want to hear he needs to become more financially literate ! Bit late for spilt milk ! I'd say Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted September 23, 2015 Share Posted September 23, 2015 Get a 2nd job at weekend? or just cut down on your spending totally. The shortfall on your car can't take that long to save if you live a cheap lifestyle for a few months. Move into share house? Move into parents? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JockinTas Posted September 23, 2015 Share Posted September 23, 2015 Get a 2nd job at weekend? or just cut down on your spending totally. The shortfall on your car can't take that long to save if you live a cheap lifestyle for a few months. Move into share house? Move into parents? Certainly agree with the above. Can you turn to your parents and let them know how you feel? The may be able to help a bit financially too. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted September 23, 2015 Share Posted September 23, 2015 Sell your mobile phone? I'm guessing you probably have an iphone or something if you spend 60k on a car as well as other expensive belongings? What's your current spending and earnings at the moment? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Johndoe Posted September 23, 2015 Share Posted September 23, 2015 I I understand that Ali ! But in his post it reads he 100percent regrets it and it's all his own doing ! Don't think he needs hear that's more than some earn because what has that got do with anyone else ! Also he doesn't want to hear he needs to become more financially literate ! Bit late for spilt milk ! I'd say It's never too late for "spilt milk". How else does one avoid spilling any more if all you do is admit it's your fault and then go and do the same again? Admitting fault is not the same as realising what the fault may be. He may see the fault in any number of ways differing from how you or I seeing what is at fault. I guess that's why folk so often "throw it out there" for confirmation and/or different opinions on what is the fault. If they don't want other opinions, be they in a chastising fashion or not, then they shouldn't ask. What do you expect? A pat on the back saying, "there, there, there. It's gonna be alrright and it's easily sorted" ? If you stick your head above the parapet, then you should expect some bullets to whizz by, and I for one, don't need anyone to tell me to "hold fire". If I was in a similar situation, I would expect the cold hard truth and nothing less. I might learn something about myself that way. It's called "tough love" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bungo Posted September 23, 2015 Share Posted September 23, 2015 I I understand that Ali ! But in his post it reads he 100percent regrets it and it's all his own doing ! Don't think he needs hear that's more than some earn because what has that got do with anyone else ! Also he doesn't want to hear he needs to become more financially literate ! Bit late for spilt milk ! I'd say Want are you on about? He got some practical answers and suggestions, like he asked for. The only post I see no point to is yours. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
starlight7 Posted September 23, 2015 Share Posted September 23, 2015 I have a grandson a bit similar and it is very hard once you get into a situation like this and if you have no support. Difficult not to get depressed but thing is to take things a bit at a time and slowly work your way out of it. Won't be forever. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shellybingobingo Posted September 23, 2015 Share Posted September 23, 2015 It's never too late for "spilt milk". How else does one avoid spilling any more if all you do is admit it's your fault and then go and do the same again? Admitting fault is not the same as realising what the fault may be. He may see the fault in any number of ways differing from how you or I seeing what is at fault. I guess that's why folk so often "throw it out there" for confirmation and/or different opinions on what is the fault. If they don't want other opinions, be they in a chastising fashion or not, then they shouldn't ask. What do you expect? A pat on the back saying, "there, there, there. It's gonna be alrright and it's easily sorted" ? If you stick your head above the parapet, then you should expect some bullets to whizz by, and I for one, don't need anyone to tell me to "hold fire". If I was in a similar situation, I would expect the cold hard truth and nothing less. I might learn something about myself that way. It's called "tough love" do you see what I mean about people on here .... Tough love ! Whatever ! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JockinTas Posted September 23, 2015 Share Posted September 23, 2015 It's all very well for you to feel sorry for him Shelly but he does need some helpful input to his problem - not Bungo - I mean the OP. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Johndoe Posted September 23, 2015 Share Posted September 23, 2015 do you see what I mean about people on here .... Tough love ! Whatever ! Instead of knocking other folk's advice, why don't you focus on the job in hand and offer some of yours? Not the first time you've detracted from those who thought they were making a contribution to a thread, without offering up a contribution of your own Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shellybingobingo Posted September 23, 2015 Share Posted September 23, 2015 It's all very well for you to feel sorry for him Shelly but he does need some helpful input to his problem - not Bungo - I mean the OP. Well ill I don't see any practical advice just shooting someone down ! I think it's rude jockin tas ! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JockinTas Posted September 23, 2015 Share Posted September 23, 2015 Well ill I don't see any practical advice just shooting someone down ! I think it's rude jockin tas ! Some good advice has been offered but whether the OP takes any of it in is another matter. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Suzukiscottie Posted September 23, 2015 Share Posted September 23, 2015 Ask the lender for a payment break to give you some breathing space to sort things out? Consider extending the loan to reduce monthly payments. If you stop paying the loan, eventually they'll take the car, and sell it. If there's a gap between sale price and what's owed, then they'll chase you for it through legal proceedings. That might take time. Have you actually asked the lender for permission to sell the car? because the end result of that is the same as if they repossess it, but at least you have some level of control. Ultimately, the lender has a big investment to protect. They'd probably like to minimise their losses if everything went bad. They should be able to work with you to protect their interests too. The worst case scenario for them is if you tell them that you're getting on a plane tomorrow, not coming back, and the car will be left at the airport with the keys in the sun visor! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Johndoe Posted September 23, 2015 Share Posted September 23, 2015 Ive offered it don't ask you lot ! "You lot" (as you call them) have been offering advice and practical help to others for many years, and they're not here just to hurt someone's feelings (although that may be the result). Neither are they here merely to attemp to shoot down the advice of others, that although not neccessarily what an OP (or yourself) may want to hear, nevertheles, for the most part, offers an Op alternative thought/opinions/actions that may well guide them away from that which is damging to them. Rather Like CBT if you will, without the cost. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shellybingobingo Posted September 23, 2015 Share Posted September 23, 2015 You don't judge people circumstances unless you've walked a mile in their shoes ! He may be a FIFO worker he may be depressed, before people start reading the riot act or saying tuff love ! Think a bit more ! He probably could afford or can afford that car at the time ! but hey ho he asked for advice ! ! I'll just let the wolves descend considering they've been on this site along time ! Have a good evening! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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