jumpingjellybean Posted September 23, 2015 Share Posted September 23, 2015 I did 10 years in Australia Ha ha sounds like you did time (in prison)! the feelings i have here, are real. I have closure. It is awesome x Best to be happy whatever that may entail Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
newjez Posted September 23, 2015 Share Posted September 23, 2015 I initially gave him $5 a day and said if it wasn't enough he had to do without but the tuckshop prices went up. They had $5 meal deals but he didn't eat those all the time. Plus he would get a snack or drink at morning tea. I hated the whole idea of the tuckshop but as I said before I was so sick of throwing food away. When I didn't give him money he would use his own. He's a good boy, not spoiled and he pretty much had no tuckshop during primary school as he was a lot easier to please. I do remember ditching my mum's stale peanut butter and jam sandwiches after they had cooked all day in the Perth heat. But I just went without. Different times. My kids get £2 a day in the UK. One manages on that and gets a meal deal or a baguette and drinks water. The other has a full meal a couple of times a week, and makes his own pack lunch on the other days. Makes life easier. They can't always get a cooked lunch anyway due to commitments like chess club and guitar, so they mix and match. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
newjez Posted September 23, 2015 Share Posted September 23, 2015 I agree with this and have experienced it, I have had aussies nice as pie to my face but have whinged the the foreman behind my back for whatever....I was shocked at first but just kept quiet when they were about after a couple of bad experiences. Trying to keep it real, I don't think Australians have cornered the two face market. Some people are bitchy, regardless of country. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
newjez Posted September 23, 2015 Share Posted September 23, 2015 I go back to visit the UK without my OH. I go to see my sister, SIL and very good old friends. I can do what I like when I like without being worried he's bored with our nattering until 2:00 am. He's happy when his sister comes here to visit so tells me there is no need for him to go to the UK. I'm already planning my trip next year :jiggy: My wife and kids would love to visit Australia again, but it's just so expensive and difficult to get time with school holidays. So I just visit my parents by myself for now. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
starlight7 Posted September 23, 2015 Share Posted September 23, 2015 Maybe those who can't make friends are just not so friendly themselves? Just a passing thought.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Marisawright Posted September 23, 2015 Share Posted September 23, 2015 Maybe those who can't make friends are just not so friendly themselves? Just a passing thought.... I'm a fairly shy person so that's true to an extent - but as I say, I have lived in places where I've made good friends, and I don't think I behaved any differently there,so it can't be ALL my fault. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shellybingobingo Posted September 23, 2015 Share Posted September 23, 2015 Maybe those who can't make friends are just not so friendly themselves? Just a passing thought Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
thinker78 Posted September 23, 2015 Author Share Posted September 23, 2015 No way, i'm definitely lovely and have a wide and diverse selection of friends across the globe, and I DEFINITELY notice the difference in Australia. Like someone said, it ain't for the want of trying. Trying did pay off- i organised lots of events in Adelaide as i was sick of having no friends and didn't want to hang around with other ex pats but after 2 years i had no choice! Adelaide is VERY clicky, and i admit i had more success in Perth, but with other ex pats again. I have left oz with 2 long lasting aussie friends, but they are unusual in that they are both very open minded and have travelled extensively, so 'get' the way other cultures work. I do like Australians, but they are just different. And i know it's not me cos only 3 weeks into a new school with my little Miss, i have had 2 coffee invites and that was more than i had in 18 months at our aussie school. i just think Australians are more insular unless you are already in their social circle. Just the way it is. Just different. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shellybingobingo Posted September 23, 2015 Share Posted September 23, 2015 It's here ! ! People turn in to psychologists on here I think ! Or they think they know it all ! Nothing to do with what I'm like as a person but when I hear people bang on about u must not be a friendly person I think people need look in the sodied mirror ! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bristolman Posted September 23, 2015 Share Posted September 23, 2015 No way, i'm definitely lovely and have a wide and diverse selection of friends across the globe, and I DEFINITELY notice the difference in Australia. Like someone said, it ain't for the want of trying. Trying did pay off- i organised lots of events in Adelaide as i was sick of having no friends and didn't want to hang around with other ex pats but after 2 years i had no choice! Adelaide is VERY clicky, and i admit i had more success in Perth, but with other ex pats again. I have left oz with 2 long lasting aussie friends, but they are unusual in that they are both very open minded and have travelled extensively, so 'get' the way other cultures work. I do like Australians, but they are just different. And i know it's not me cos only 3 weeks into a new school with my little Miss, i have had 2 coffee invites and that was more than i had in 18 months at our aussie school. i just think Australians are more insular unless you are already in their social circle. Just the way it is. Just different. I have always thought of Australians as being insular in so many ways. We had good friends in Australia but it seems like out of sight out of mind whereas the friends we had here from decades back are still just the same with us regardless of how long we have been away. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Marisawright Posted September 23, 2015 Share Posted September 23, 2015 No way, i'm definitely lovely and have a wide and diverse selection of friends across the globe, and I DEFINITELY notice the difference in Australia....Adelaide is VERY clicky This is a good example of why you can't generalise about Australians. I've never lived in Adelaide, but one of my Sydney friends moved down there a few years ago. She wanted to retire early and felt she couldn't afford to do so in Sydney. She came back five years later because she had been unable to make friends - she said the same as you, that Adelaide folk were too clique-y. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JockinTas Posted September 23, 2015 Share Posted September 23, 2015 No way, i'm definitely lovely and have a wide and diverse selection of friends across the globe, and I DEFINITELY notice the difference in Australia. Like someone said, it ain't for the want of trying. Trying did pay off- i organised lots of events in Adelaide as i was sick of having no friends and didn't want to hang around with other ex pats but after 2 years i had no choice! Adelaide is VERY clicky, and i admit i had more success in Perth, but with other ex pats again. I have left oz with 2 long lasting aussie friends, but they are unusual in that they are both very open minded and have travelled extensively, so 'get' the way other cultures work. I do like Australians, but they are just different. And i know it's not me cos only 3 weeks into a new school with my little Miss, i have had 2 coffee invites and that was more than i had in 18 months at our aussie school. i just think Australians are more insular unless you are already in their social circle. Just the way it is. Just different. I've never lived in Adelaide so can't comment. Over the years I have lived in Sydney, I made some very good friends and since moving to Tasmania I've had no trouble meeting people and making friends. They are a lovely bunch of people around here. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Johndoe Posted September 23, 2015 Share Posted September 23, 2015 i just think Australians are more insular unless you are already in their social circle. . Well if they were that insular I would have thought they wouldn't have any "social circles" ? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
starlight7 Posted September 23, 2015 Share Posted September 23, 2015 Insular? Aussies? Don't make me laugh. I would say they are amongst the most travelled people in the world- they nearly all travel all the time. That is a fact. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
thinker78 Posted September 23, 2015 Author Share Posted September 23, 2015 @Johndoe, as in, their social circles are already established and they are not bothered about new comers. Adelaide is very well known for this as most people are born there and those who stay, are happy with the people they grew up with; it is very hard to break into those circles. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bristolman Posted September 23, 2015 Share Posted September 23, 2015 Insular? Aussies? Don't make me laugh. I would say they are amongst the most travelled people in the world- they nearly all travel all the time. That is a fact. They aren't as bad as Americans when it come's to being insular but not far behind. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JockinTas Posted September 23, 2015 Share Posted September 23, 2015 There are many places in the UK too where it is hard to break into the local social circle. You can be considered an outsider unless you've lived there for years and years. Plenty of places - admittedly smaller towns - are like that. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
thinker78 Posted September 23, 2015 Author Share Posted September 23, 2015 I agree, and Adelaide is not a transient place, and the population is small. I think 10 years is a good crack to make a judgement though, and i've lived in 4 Australian cities.....however, it's also pot luck. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bristolman Posted September 23, 2015 Share Posted September 23, 2015 @Johndoe, as in, their social circles are already established and they are not bothered about new comers. Adelaide is very well known for this as most people are born there and those who stay, are happy with the people they grew up with; it is very hard to break into those circles. Yes I knew what you were saying, they were a bit like that in Brisbane where we were. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Johndoe Posted September 23, 2015 Share Posted September 23, 2015 @Johndoe, as in, their social circles are already established and they are not bothered about new comers. Adelaide is very well known for this as most people are born there and those who stay, are happy with the people they grew up with; it is very hard to break into those circles. I find that very hard to understand as it infers that all people within a social circle are of the very same mind. It only takes one of them to invite you in as I found on a couple of occasions. From one invite, I got to meet other folks who were friends with the person who had befriended me, and from that, I devloped a growing circle of friends, and I ain't even what one would call a sociable person. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
thinker78 Posted September 23, 2015 Author Share Posted September 23, 2015 Yes, and that's lovely when it happens, it just didn't happen much. My point was, I have only been back 7 weeks and people who obviously do have more solid social circles around me in the uk are offering invites to things...as they know i'm newly back and trying to build a life again. I was lonely so much in Adelaide, and it wasn't for the want of trying. I will chat to anyone, and ran lots of events for other ex pats, as well as had a child which gave me access to playgroups then school etc, but there is just a marked difference in people's approaches. but i can't argue my point anymore as it's a personal experience and ultimately i am happier here, which was the point of my original post, and i feel alive and happy to have a social life back and my weekends are now full, as opposed to lonely. I'm off to enjoy the lovely september weather Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chortlepuss Posted September 23, 2015 Share Posted September 23, 2015 It's here ! ! People turn in to psychologists on here I think ! Or they think they know it all ! Nothing to do with what I'm like as a person but when I hear people bang on about u must not be a friendly person I think people need look in the sodied mirror ! Yes I'm bored with this lazy argument. The fact is that the usual method of making friends that many employ (reaching out, inviting people around, organising social events) does not seem to be as effective here as it is in the UK. As many of us have had no problem making and keeping solid friendships in the UK and don't tend to have an issue with other Brits and immigrants from other cultures (Such as South Africans), I really don't think it's down to the fact that we turn into mean unfriendly people the moment we enter Australia... And you can't blame it on the whingeing only - for at least the first six years here I was profoundly grateful that I was in Oz and enjoyed it immensely there are cultural blocks (such as an British expectation for reciprocity and a concern from Aussies that people ar 'too close too soon') that get in the way of real friendship for many. I don't pretend to understand it, but on a personal basis (after 10 years)find it tiring. One thing I do find about Brits who say they are settled here is that they constantly run the UK down 'full of immigrants, shite weather, house burgled every 5 mins etc' This was never my experience of the UK so find that I can't bond with these people - However it may give them greater acceptance amongst their Aussie peers..... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bristolman Posted September 24, 2015 Share Posted September 24, 2015 Yes I'm bored with this lazy argument. The fact is that the usual method of making friends that many employ (reaching out, inviting people around, organising social events) does not seem to be as effective here as it is in the UK. As many of us have had no problem making and keeping solid friendships in the UK and don't tend to have an issue with other Brits and immigrants from other cultures (Such as South Africans), I really don't think it's down to the fact that we turn into mean unfriendly people the moment we enter Australia... And you can't blame it on the whingeing only - for at least the first six years here I was profoundly grateful that I was in Oz and enjoyed it immenselythere are cultural blocks (such as an British expectation for reciprocity and a concern from Aussies that people ar 'too close too soon') that get in the way of real friendship for many. I don't pretend to understand it, but on a personal basis (after 10 years)find it tiring. One thing I do find about Brits who say they are settled here is that they constantly run the UK down 'full of immigrants, shite weather, house burgled every 5 mins etc' This was never my experience of the UK so find that I can't bond with these people - However it may give them greater acceptance amongst their Aussie peers..... The last line sums it up. I saw so many Brits who would constantly as you say run the country down to anyone who would listen. 90% of what they were saying was either totally untrue or equally applied to Australia. You see it in many threads here, prospective migrants telling us all how they can't wait to get away from the constant rain here or the crime or miserable people. Those people turn up in Australia and carry on moaning about the UK which many Aussies lap up. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JockinTas Posted September 24, 2015 Share Posted September 24, 2015 The last line sums it up. I saw so many Brits who would constantly as you say run the country down to anyone who would listen. 90% of what they were saying was either totally untrue or equally applied to Australia. You see it in many threads here, prospective migrants telling us all how they can't wait to get away from the constant rain here or the crime or miserable people. Those people turn up in Australia and carry on moaning about the UK which many Aussies lap up. ............... and a fair few of these migrants who moaned about the UK then start moaning about Australia when they arrive. Some people are only happy when they're moaning :dull: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
calNgary Posted September 24, 2015 Share Posted September 24, 2015 A few posts have been removed as it was getting a bit personal, so just a quick reminder not to discuss other members Thanks Cal x Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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