Visits

[Country vic]

I am curious if members meet. I often see requests from lonely members to meet up with other members who seem to live in the same region (Melbourne, Sydney, Gold Coast) but not much evidence many people actually get together and become real life friends.

 

Also wondering if any members go a bit further and invite members to visit and stay with them.

 

With Australia being such a big and diverse place and the expense of travel, do any members use their network here to take holidays, especially those who have been in contact with other members for some years do you take steps to actually meet or is it kept to online.

 

There are those who are very happy here and, of course, those who are not, I wonder if visiting a fellow member would offer a welcome and therapeutic break for those who are not doing well.

 

I have to say I don't get on-line 'friendships', it reminds me of people who say they have 'met' a romantic partner on-line but the fact is they have never met. We know people go on like this for years, many are scams but some of these people do exist and they could meet if they wanted to.

 

I also don't get Facebook, I would have thought the point of having friends, or partners, is to spend time together and have real company and support.

 

It seems to me people have got scared of real friendships and keep everyone at arms (a very long arm in some cases) length.

 

Do people here have real friends they first made contact with on this site.

[Alaska]

Yes!

One of my closest friends, I met on this site as we were moving to the same area.

Also have another good friend from here.

Actually another 2 who I meet up with about once a month who I met via a meet up on here.

 

I guess real life takes over and actually I forget that I met them on here originally.

[ali]

I'm friends with a couple of ladies on here and meet up with a couple of people for dinner/lunch 2 or 3 times a year. I have to be honest and say that I wouldn't invite a total stranger to come and stay with my family though. Sometimes life is a bit hectic and it's difficult to fit others into it.

 

I do have on-line friendships with some and class some of those people I class as close friends and with whom I could share a problem with.

[Country vic]

It seems to me there is very little real life connection via this site, and the Internet generally.

 

I notice that many requests posted by people seeking real life company here, even in large centres, go without any response.

 

Maybe it's a sign of the times.

 

I would say if you have good supportive connections where you are now consider very carefully whether you want to give that up, you may never replace that.

[ali]

It seems to me there is very little real life connection via this site, and the Internet generally.

 

I notice that many requests posted by people seeking real life company here, even in large centres, go without any response.

 

Maybe it's a sign of the times.

 

I would say if you have good supportive connections where you are now consider very carefully whether you want to give that up, you may never replace that.

 

Just because there is no response on the open forum doesn't mean there isn't correspondence via the private message system. I am often contacted via PM to assist with things which goes on behind the scenes. I'm sure I'm not the only one who does this.

[NickyNook]

It seems to me there is very little real life connection via this site, and the Internet generally.

 

 

 

Not true. There's plenty of real life connection via the Internet. The Internet has enabled millions of people to connect with and meet people that they otherwise would never have encountered.

 

Have you never heard of Meet-up? Millions of groups of like-minded people with shared interests who connect via the internet in order to physically meet up. Online dating sites have brought millions of couples together - even Expat and other forums like this have large get togethers occasionally.

[Country vic]

Good luck to everyone seeking real life friends, however they approach that issue.

 

If you have success stories it be worth posting them as they could be interesting and helpful to other members.

 

Cautionary tales might also be useful : -)

[Guest241083]

.........I have met lots from this site.....

.........stayed with some....

.........had some stay with me....

.........one I now consider my best friend..!

.........as Ali says.......often the pm system is how those who connect stay in touch.....

..........it's a good way ime to meet like minded people.....

[milliem]

Also met up with quite a few from this site at a Brisbane meet.

 

And met my closest friend in Oz on here; she moved to Aus just before me

 

Millie x

[ramot]

Don't knock face book, obviously it's daft in some ways, ok lots of ways, but we have lived in a lot of different countries and places, and it's lovely seeing how people you knew are getting on, and have reastablished some friendships as a result.

Ultimately each to their own, I have been a member of PIO quite some time, and find it very strange how many posts some members have made, must spend a large time of their lives posting, but so what.

Also there has always been good support for posters from their virtual friends when needed, even if we have never met. Surely supporting each other is no bad thing.

Anyway if nothing else it keeps my typing skills up!

 

ps. Not short of real friends luckily

[tina0101]

I've met up with people from PIO and from facebook groups. When you are new to a foreign country, it's helpful if you can join online groups who arrange things. These days, the internet is a much better way of researching clubs and things that are on.

Usually do it all by pm though.

 

Would never invite someone to stay at my house without meeting them in real life first though. You never know who you are actually talking to!!

[MARYROSE02]

I've been a member of POF for about ten years I think. I've been back in Sydney for seven years, and I joined whilst I was living in England. I've never 'physically' met a single person from POF. Does that matter? I don't think so. It does not mean it will never happen. Some people who migrate suffer from loneliness and homesickness and this forum helps them overcome it.

 

I've just started a degree course in the Open University, and I'm on my second unit now. I guess I could have suggested meeting up 'physically' with people from my first unit. In the first week of my second unit, one of my fellow students has suggested meeting up, which I'm looking forward to, but the students in this course come from all over Australia, from Sydney to Perth.

 

Why do you have to be 'physically' in contact with people to be friends with them? You can have your own life and they can have theirs and still enjoy meeting up 'on line.' Aussie kids in the Outback used to (could still do for all I know) do some of their schooling by radio, if they could not go to boarding school or school in the nearest town.

 

I love Face Book because I talk to people who could be in the next street to me, or ten thousand miles away in the UK. When I first came to OZ, I kept in contact with family and friends by 'snail mail' and phone calls. I wish my Mum had lived long enough for us to communicate online. I've never 'Skyped' but I hear it is good. A German girl I know likes it because, hard of hearing, she can look at people and 'lip read'.

 

I've also met friends initernet dating. It's just another way of meeting people. It hasn't replaced meeting them in the 'conventional' ways. It has just added new opportunities. People used to, still do in fact, meet via newspaper adverts, or introduction agencies.

 

I love all the ways I have met people both physically and on line. It has enhanced my life, not diminished it. I have been writing lately to a lady I met on RSVP. We may never phsyically meet. I don't mind. I love writing to her, and at heart, what is the difference between the letters and card that I wrote to my parents in England, and the letters I email to her just a few kilometres away here in Sydney?

 

It's not about 'keeping people at arm's length' either. You would have to have very long arms if your friends are in the UK. You just do what you have to do. A friend just rang me and we arranged to meet at a pub near Central before he goes to Katoomba to see his Mum. I 'physically' see some friends, whilst I never 'physically' see others. They are still friends, good friends, too, and we have fulfilling relationships.

[flag of convenience]

I am curious if members meet. I often see requests from lonely members to meet up with other members who seem to live in the same region (Melbourne, Sydney, Gold Coast) but not much evidence many people actually get together and become real life friends.

 

Also wondering if any members go a bit further and invite members to visit and stay with them.

 

With Australia being such a big and diverse place and the expense of travel, do any members use their network here to take holidays, especially those who have been in contact with other members for some years do you take steps to actually meet or is it kept to online.

 

There are those who are very happy here and, of course, those who are not, I wonder if visiting a fellow member would offer a welcome and therapeutic break for those who are not doing well.

 

I have to say I don't get on-line 'friendships', it reminds me of people who say they have 'met' a romantic partner on-line but the fact is they have never met. We know people go on like this for years, many are scams but some of these people do exist and they could meet if they wanted to.

 

I also don't get Facebook, I would have thought the point of having friends, or partners, is to spend time together and have real company and support.

 

It seems to me people have got scared of real friendships and keep everyone at arms (a very long arm in some cases) length.

 

Do people here have real friends they first made contact with on this site.

 

I don't get online friendships either. More a case of curiosity on the part of many rather than real intent and like Facebook I do not take it at all seriously. Of course modern life suggests the comfort zone among many doesn't extend a whole lot further than non challenging social media or forums sadly.

[flag of convenience]

I've been a member of POF for about ten years I think. I've been back in Sydney for seven years, and I joined whilst I was living in England. I've never 'physically' met a single person from POF. Does that matter? I don't think so. It does not mean it will never happen. Some people who migrate suffer from loneliness and homesickness and this forum helps them overcome it.

 

I've just started a degree course in the Open University, and I'm on my second unit now. I guess I could have suggested meeting up 'physically' with people from my first unit. In the first week of my second unit, one of my fellow students has suggested meeting up, which I'm looking forward to, but the students in this course come from all over Australia, from Sydney to Perth.

 

Why do you have to be 'physically' in contact with people to be friends with them? You can have your own life and they can have theirs and still enjoy meeting up 'on line.' Aussie kids in the Outback used to (could still do for all I know) do some of their schooling by radio, if they could not go to boarding school or school in the nearest town.

 

I love Face Book because I talk to people who could be in the next street to me, or ten thousand miles away in the UK. When I first came to OZ, I kept in contact with family and friends by 'snail mail' and phone calls. I wish my Mum had lived long enough for us to communicate online. I've never 'Skyped' but I hear it is good. A German girl I know likes it because, hard of hearing, she can look at people and 'lip read'.

 

I've also met friends initernet dating. It's just another way of meeting people. It hasn't replaced meeting them in the 'conventional' ways. It has just added new opportunities. People used to, still do in fact, meet via newspaper adverts, or introduction agencies.

 

I love all the ways I have met people both physically and on line. It has enhanced my life, not diminished it. I have been writing lately to a lady I met on RSVP. We may never phsyically meet. I don't mind. I love writing to her, and at heart, what is the difference between the letters and card that I wrote to my parents in England, and the letters I email to her just a few kilometres away here in Sydney?

 

It's not about 'keeping people at arm's length' either. You would have to have very long arms if your friends are in the UK. You just do what you have to do. A friend just rang me and we arranged to meet at a pub near Central before he goes to Katoomba to see his Mum. I 'physically' see some friends, whilst I never 'physically' see others. They are still friends, good friends, too, and we have fulfilling relationships.

 

Chatting online hardly equates friendship no matter how many cyber friends you may harvest en route.

[flag of convenience]

It seems to me there is very little real life connection via this site, and the Internet generally.

 

I notice that many requests posted by people seeking real life company here, even in large centres, go without any response.

 

Maybe it's a sign of the times.

 

I would say if you have good supportive connections where you are now consider very carefully whether you want to give that up, you may never replace that.

 

Lots of behind the scenes things going on and gossip galore without doubt including about other members. Depends how one rates a friendship and the value placed on the word. I'd be rather suspect myself.

[ali]

Chatting online hardly equates friendship no matter how many cyber friends you may harvest en route.

 

How do you define friendship?

[MARYROSE02]

Chatting online hardly equates friendship no matter how many cyber friends you may harvest en route.

 

I guess that depends how you define 'friendship?'

 

Two people who are already 'face-to-face' friends when one of them moves to Australia? Are they still friends? I'm thinking of my mate Nick whom I've known since we were at junior school in 1964. We maintained our friendship, first through conventional mail, as 'pen-friends', and then as 'internet-friends.'

 

How do you feel about the term 'pen-friend?' Should it be re-defined to drop the word 'friend' and replace it with 'acquaintance?'

 

Two people who meet on line, and never meet, yet find they are so 'friendly' that they are able to confide their deepest 'secrets' to each other? Are they friends? I have such a friend.

 

Two people who also meet on line, meet up regularly 'face-to-face', although they never form a romantic relationship? I also have such a friend as that.

 

What is the difference between chatting on line and chatting face-to-face, apart from the obvious inability to see each other's body language, or hear their actual voices. In both cases, shared interests may lead to face-to-face meetings, and 'friendship' (as you define it.) I started the second unit of my OUA degree last week and I have already arranged to meet 'face-to-face' with another student, for a drink. Maybe we will 'click' and maybe we won't.

 

I'd 'stake my life' that there are people on PIO, who have never met, but have become very intimate, by sharing their experiences of migration, and finding 'common ground' and empathy.

 

And of course there are the people we never meet, but like to chat to online, and continue that 'relationship' for years, decades, even life. Are they permitted to call themselves 'friends?'

[Gbye grey sky]

I would welcome an opportunity to meet many of the people I see post on here. There just hasn't been an opportunity yet but hopefully in the not-too-distant future when we get there.

 

A PIO organised meet-up or get-together is probably the most ideal as an ice-breaker - you need to get the measure of someone before you invite them onto your own turf. It is not about keeping your distance but it is necessary to be a little guarded. I am sure that most on here are genuine but there is always going to be some doubt and much of that can be dispelled when you meet up in person.

[MARYROSE02]

I don't get online friendships either. More a case of curiosity on the part of many rather than real intent and like Facebook I do not take it at all seriously. Of course modern life suggests the comfort zone among many doesn't extend a whole lot further than non challenging social media or forums sadly.

 

I find that I am 'challenged' all the time, whether it is when debating something on PIO, or Facebook, when I am discussing something important. And when I am on my university forum, not much different in layout to PIO, the subjects are mostly very serious.

[MARYROSE02]

I would welcome an opportunity to meet many of the people I see post on here. There just hasn't been an opportunity yet but hopefully in the not-too-distant future when we get there.

 

A PIO organised meet-up or get-together is probably the most ideal as an ice-breaker - you need to get the measure of someone before you invite them onto your own turf. It is not about keeping your distance but it is necessary to be a little guarded. I am sure that most on here are genuine but there is always going to be some doubt and much of that can be dispelled when you meet up in person.

 

I don't understand people's prejudices against Facebook and other forums. I am Facebook friends with my cousins in England and the USA, and now Malaysia, since one of my brothers has moved there. We share photographs, letters, which we always did, but now it's mostly on line.

 

And I just looked at the number of times that 'Flag' has posted, and I see it is about the same as me, which suggests he has been on PIO for a few years, using and enjoying the very thing he is criticising!?

[caramac]

I've met up with a few people I've 'met' on here. One is coming over for coffee on Tuesday and I'm really looking forward to seeing her again.

They're people I probably wouldn't have come across in my day to day life, so for me it's been a positive experience.

It's nice meeting up with people who have had similar life experiences - not many of my 'real life' friends know what it feels like to move to the other side of the world, or the emotions of moving back, so having someone who really 'gets it' is good. We can talk about the fun things and hard bits our friends here can't understand.

[flag of convenience]

How do you define friendship?

 

I realise the definition is loosely termed these days. When your in some sort of trouble I don't think the question posed will require defining. Fair weathered 'mates' and 'friends' of convenience, to which category most likely belong, somehow wither the numbers at the vine as a matter of speaking.

[flag of convenience]

I've met up with a few people I've 'met' on here. One is coming over for coffee on Tuesday and I'm really looking forward to seeing her again.

They're people I probably wouldn't have come across in my day to day life, so for me it's been a positive experience.

It's nice meeting up with people who have had similar life experiences - not many of my 'real life' friends know what it feels like to move to the other side of the world, or the emotions of moving back, so having someone who really 'gets it' is good. We can talk about the fun things and hard bits our friends here can't understand.

 

Situational contacts through sheared experiences can indeed be emotionally fulfilling if only to be on the same page. It may in time and a degree of luck turn into something approaching friendship even.

[flag of convenience]

I guess that depends how you define 'friendship?'

 

Two people who are already 'face-to-face' friends when one of them moves to Australia? Are they still friends? I'm thinking of my mate Nick whom I've known since we were at junior school in 1964. We maintained our friendship, first through conventional mail, as 'pen-friends', and then as 'internet-friends.'

 

How do you feel about the term 'pen-friend?' Should it be re-defined to drop the word 'friend' and replace it with 'acquaintance?'

 

Two people who meet on line, and never meet, yet find they are so 'friendly' that they are able to confide their deepest 'secrets' to each other? Are they friends? I have such a friend.

 

Two people who also meet on line, meet up regularly 'face-to-face', although they never form a romantic relationship? I also have such a friend as that.

 

What is the difference between chatting on line and chatting face-to-face, apart from the obvious inability to see each other's body language, or hear their actual voices. In both cases, shared interests may lead to face-to-face meetings, and 'friendship' (as you define it.) I started the second unit of my OUA degree last week and I have already arranged to meet 'face-to-face' with another student, for a drink. Maybe we will 'click' and maybe we won't.

 

I'd 'stake my life' that there are people on PIO, who have never met, but have become very intimate, by sharing their experiences of migration, and finding 'common ground' and empathy.

 

And of course there are the people we never meet, but like to chat to online, and continue that 'relationship' for years, decades, even life. Are they permitted to call themselves 'friends?'

 

Perhaps I'm reading to much into it but online I would regard if think about it as no more than contacts. Cyber 'friendship like Cyber sex hardly amounts to anything more pronounced than the name suggests. I do get the borders with regards friendship are sadly extremely blurred these days and without doubt any number prefer the anonymity of online communication. One can present in any number of persona's and conceal the real person behind the mask which of course is not so easy in a one to one traditional setting. All in all it has certainly led to a more connected world but a debatably more lonely world.

[Que Sera Sera]

I've met lots of people on here. Due to location we may not meet up as much as we would like but that doesn't mean I don't class them as friends. I'm a bit of a loner in that I don't need to be surrounded by friends and don't need to feel in each others pockets. There really are some lovely people on here. I've become friends with many who I see in real life and who no longer post on here. Some I actually met whilst still in the UK, and we ended living really close.