flag of convenience Posted June 14, 2015 Share Posted June 14, 2015 I find that I am 'challenged' all the time, whether it is when debating something on PIO, or Facebook, when I am discussing something important. And when I am on my university forum, not much different in layout to PIO, the subjects are mostly very serious. That being the case just imagine what it would be like out on one's own then. No Wikki to consult, no time to contemplate smart retorts, no online fan club. Just debate based on the knowledge procured over a lifetime and thinking and speaking at the same time to argue/discuss a point with little time for reflection. Online debate is pedestrian in comparison. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
flag of convenience Posted June 14, 2015 Share Posted June 14, 2015 I would welcome an opportunity to meet many of the people I see post on here. There just hasn't been an opportunity yet but hopefully in the not-too-distant future when we get there. A PIO organised meet-up or get-together is probably the most ideal as an ice-breaker - you need to get the measure of someone before you invite them onto your own turf. It is not about keeping your distance but it is necessary to be a little guarded. I am sure that most on here are genuine but there is always going to be some doubt and much of that can be dispelled when you meet up in person. Not sure a meet up with numerous people would reveal anything of importance. People tend to be guarded at such events. I could imagine a smaller group meet working to a better extent. Some parts of life are perhaps better left compartmentalised though. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MARYROSE02 Posted June 14, 2015 Share Posted June 14, 2015 That being the case just imagine what it would be like out on one's own then. No Wikki to consult, no time to contemplate smart retorts, no online fan club. Just debate based on the knowledge procured over a lifetime and thinking and speaking at the same time to argue/discuss a point with little time for reflection. Online debate is pedestrian in comparison. You still have to research and 'KNOW' your subject in whatever medium you are debating it. I just opened one of my psychology text books at random, and the first thing I saw was 'Freud's Psychoanalytic Theory', a subject I know nothing about. If I wanted to debate it with you, I would have to undertake some research over a number of days, maybe weeks, and it would not matter whether we debated it 'face-to-face' or online, it would produce the same problems. You could of course suggest that, if debating online, we both have to answer within a few seconds as if we were both 'face-to-face.' I guess if you think that online debate is pedestrian, does that mean you consider university teaching on line is inferior? I don't have to physically attend lectures and tutorials, but I still have to watch online lectures or conduct research. In fact, in this present subject - 'Creative and Professional Writing' - there are no lectures, which puzzled me, until I realized that you cannot teach people to write. They have to do it for themselves. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
flag of convenience Posted June 14, 2015 Share Posted June 14, 2015 You still have to research and 'KNOW' your subject in whatever medium you are debating it. I just opened one of my psychology text books at random, and the first thing I saw was 'Freud's Psychoanalytic Theory', a subject I know nothing about. If I wanted to debate it with you, I would have to undertake some research over a number of days, maybe weeks, and it would not matter whether we debated it 'face-to-face' or online, it would produce the same problems. You could of course suggest that, if debating online, we both have to answer within a few seconds as if we were both 'face-to-face.' I guess if you think that online debate is pedestrian, does that mean you consider university teaching on line is inferior? I don't have to physically attend lectures and tutorials, but I still have to watch online lectures or conduct research. In fact, in this present subject - 'Creative and Professional Writing' - there are no lectures, which puzzled me, until I realized that you cannot teach people to write. They have to do it for themselves. If I an debating I would of course have prior knowledge in the subject otherwise the debate would I suggest quickly turn rather flat. Face to face one is quickly exposed as a fraud in the chosen field if unable to rely on previous knowledge on the matter. On line is hardly as taxing although it has its place. I won't discuss my opinion into a lot of the direction modern education has tendered towards as have brought it up on other threads or at least touched. Besides in giving some thought, would suggest it diminishes the educational experience to some degree. As I noted within another post I think consider it of value to pursue such studies as you are doing. Especially rewarding in the age I'd suggest to keep the mind challenged. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bungo Posted June 14, 2015 Share Posted June 14, 2015 I have never made a new friend online, but I am a loner and not too bothered about doing so. I don't knock the concept though, I can see that others have made friends online, I know couples that met online. It is fashionable to sneer at Facebook, but it connects people and that seems like a good thing to me. My parents were immigrants and neither very good at keeping in touch with their families, which meant I didn't get to know my extended family either, through no fault of my own. In recent years I have tracked down all my cousins over Facebook, I didn't even know their names. I love seeing the family resemblance as I have never had an extended family, I have not met any of them yet but my sister has and I expect I will one day. In the meantime, I like knowing a little bit about their lives. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ali Posted June 14, 2015 Share Posted June 14, 2015 I realise the definition is loosely termed these days. When your in some sort of trouble I don't think the question posed will require defining. Fair weathered 'mates' and 'friends' of convenience, to which category most likely belong, somehow wither the numbers at the vine as a matter of speaking. You seem to be criticising the friendships that others have - I know who my friends and don't need to wait until I'm in trouble (how sad to think that that's the only way you'd know .. is that personal experience?). Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MARYROSE02 Posted June 14, 2015 Share Posted June 14, 2015 You seem to be criticising the friendships that others have - I know who my friends and don't need to wait until I'm in trouble (how sad to think that that's the only way you'd know .. is that personal experience?). I don't know why Flag is so opposed to the concept of 'on-line friendship?' It's not as if it has REPLACED face-to-face friendship, or at least not for most of us. It's given me something extra, another dimension, another way of communicating with people. I've just been discussing psychadelic music in a Facebook group I belong to. We talk about the music, choose Youtube clips to share, maybe spin of into other areas, eg censorship of music on the radio. (The BBC banned so much, whilst not of course banning Jimmy Saville.) I do know one of the guys but I've never met most of them. So what? It does not hinder my 'real' friendships, though with so many of them, you meet at the pub, and then we are all ignoring them to go back on line on our phones! I have as many 'real' friends as I ever did. Going on line has made no difference to that part of my life. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Parley Posted June 14, 2015 Share Posted June 14, 2015 I heard someone say a friend is someone who has been in your house and you have been in theirs. Not sure I necessarily agree but it is a reasonable starting point. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
flag of convenience Posted June 14, 2015 Share Posted June 14, 2015 You seem to be criticising the friendships that others have - I know who my friends and don't need to wait until I'm in trouble (how sad to think that that's the only way you'd know .. is that personal experience?). No your interpretation perhaps. All are entitled to consider friendship in the manner they perceive it. Yes online especially Facebook I would say in my experience enhances egos and may present to some a feel good factor but doesn't begin to rate, at least in my world of the meaning of friendship. I do not regard gossip about others as relevant to such stats either. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest51810 Posted June 14, 2015 Share Posted June 14, 2015 Some people sneer a lot at online friendships, not really sure why it bothers them. I've chatted to some lovely people on here over the years especially one person that I talk to almost everyday and consider them a close friend. Don't really care if someone has a problem with the fact that we don't meet up. Although im planning on going to see them this summer. Then hopefully meet up with some of the other people once im in australia. Forums etc can be really good for connecting with people. I relied to a post the other day on a backpacking facebook page. The girl messaged me and we started chatting. Next thing I found out her and a bunch of other girls are all going to australia roughly the same time as im planning. we're all in a group chat sharing plans and ideas etc. Most of them are meeting down south next week but it's too far for me to go and im working anyway but there was talk about a manchester one later in the year so could prob manage that. I found it nice talking to a mix of ages who had similar plans to me Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
flag of convenience Posted June 14, 2015 Share Posted June 14, 2015 I don't know why Flag is so opposed to the concept of 'on-line friendship?' It's not as if it has REPLACED face-to-face friendship, or at least not for most of us. It's given me something extra, another dimension, another way of communicating with people. I've just been discussing psychadelic music in a Facebook group I belong to. We talk about the music, choose Youtube clips to share, maybe spin of into other areas, eg censorship of music on the radio. (The BBC banned so much, whilst not of course banning Jimmy Saville.) I do know one of the guys but I've never met most of them. So what? It does not hinder my 'real' friendships, though with so many of them, you meet at the pub, and then we are all ignoring them to go back on line on our phones! I have as many 'real' friends as I ever did. Going on line has made no difference to that part of my life. I am opposed to nothing but state how I find it. Yes one can discuss on line areas of particular interest. I never stated the net was not without its plus points. I thought the topic was friendship to which I maintain my original argument. A lot will of course depend on how loosely the term friend is used in your vocab. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Que Sera Sera Posted June 14, 2015 Share Posted June 14, 2015 I don't think it's any different to pen friends is it? I've never had one but I know plenty of people who have. I only have Family as my Facebook Friends now, as too many dramas on there for me. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest51810 Posted June 14, 2015 Share Posted June 14, 2015 I used to have a pen pal from Kuwait at primary school! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ali Posted June 14, 2015 Share Posted June 14, 2015 I made a friend (in the UK) on FB via a friend this lady and I talked almost everyday about our children, life, fun things and sad things .... we talked about her cancer, her treatment and continued to chat until the moment she went into the hospice and messaged me that she knew that "this was it" ..... I never met this lady face to face, but we'd laughed and cried together. I was truly devastated (and still am) to lose this wonderful lady from my life, I miss her daily and she was without doubt my friend. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JockinTas Posted June 14, 2015 Share Posted June 14, 2015 I used to have a pen pal from Kuwait at primary school! In my last year of primary school I had penpals in Rhode Island (New York), Cape Town and Jamaica. Over 50 years later we are still in touch. It's email now instead of letters. I've met two of them which was great fun. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest51810 Posted June 14, 2015 Share Posted June 14, 2015 I actually thought very briefly about getting one again after I watched euro trip when he has a German one lol. We got the Kuwait ones as a whole school, one of the girls dads was working over there and arranged it for us. I can't remember what I used to say. I wrote a letter to the queen as well at primary school and got a reply from one of her minions. Haven't a clue what I said to her either, maybe I asked her to be my pen pal lol :laugh: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ali Posted June 14, 2015 Share Posted June 14, 2015 (edited) In my last year of primary school I had penpals in Rhode Island (New York), Cape Town and Jamaica. Over 50 years later we are still in touch. It's email now instead of letters. I've met two of them which was great fun. I'm still in touch with 5 pen pals - one in Italy, Aus, Czech Rep, and 2 in the US. I've stayed with my friend in New Jersey and she flew over to California to meet the rest of the family when we visited last year ... we'll hopefully catch up again when we're back over there in December. My friend in Aus has his 50th this year - we couldn't get over but he had a picture wall of all his 'friends' and had put a photo of me and another pen-pal he'd had wrote about what those friendships through the years have meant. Edited June 14, 2015 by ali Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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