Moved Back To The UK From Australia, Was It Hard To Adapt?

[ramot]

We are all different as I keep posting.

I was 60 when I came here, but was definitely not set in my ways. Was always up for new experiences. So age doesn't have to be a barrier, it's your mind set that counts.

Both my husband and I have made wonderful friends here, just as we did for the 10 years previously in Brunei.

Still catch up with old friends when we go to UK every year, but I am definitely a glass half full person.

[Chortlepuss]

The part of your post that I've marked in bold describes me to a 'T.' I've always been close to my family, and with an elderly father who has not been in the best health, those ties remain as strong as ever. Also, I was 40 coming out here and that didn't help funnily enough, as I was too set in my ways. How long have you been in Australia Chortlepuss?

I have been in Oz 8 years. And absolutely concur with age thing - I was in mid 40's. Made lifelong friends during school, uni and in my first job which was very social. Also great friends when I had kids yonks ago. With older teens, there is not often a way into social circles - It is very very easy to get on with people with whom you've shared decades of experience/context - effortless in fact. I do have some nice friends here but they are British. I work with some lovely guys in a bit of a male dominated workplace but people don't socialise. I suspect re; friends there is a culture barrier that I have yet to crack and never will. I am close to my family also. Johndoe's comments ring true --things can take an unexpected turn. We came over on a temp visa (457) for a couple of years so did not sell our house. I think my experience would have been better if I had got PR, would have sold up and bought somewhere to live. I have hated the insecurity of renting. But you have to hedge your bets when you're here for a temporary adventure. Hubby got a job and we got sponsored for PR then citizenship. I am 100% sure that if I hadn't taken the job in Oz and not come here I would have regretted it. We have got a great deal out of it. But now I'm done..

[Conniebygaslight]

Hope you make the right decision Greg....best of luck xx

[Guest colmarwatson]

I have decided to move back to the UK next year after 2 years in sunny Brisbane Feel happy now i have made the move but it was a long time coming.

[kiwiathome]

I still stick to my theory, that it is hard to make genuine friends here in Aus. My best friend here is a kiwi, my other friends who make an effort are South African and German. I by no means choose a friend on what country they were born. I think socialising here is different to what I am use to and there is a cultural barrier here, as Chortlepuss states above.

 

I am a huge advocate for don't settle. There is always a way eventually. To Johndoe above, please keep trying to get back to England. Try and talk to your ex and your son might be helped a lot more in England than you realise. Plus you would have support from your other family.

 

My best friend here, the kiwi, came to Australia when she was 13. She is still trying to leave. 27 years later has still not settled here. She works part time from home and has made her life about raising and doing the best for her two children. Mother of the year type person. Anyway the issues her ex Aussie hubby keeps putting her through, I really feel for her. She can not leave until her youngest turns 16. 6 years to go. She keeps positive and just ticks off another year.

 

So absolutely there are issues and circumstances we all have to deal with. Some keep them behind closed doors, some people talk. Just keep trying to find a way and maybe you can have your sons in England investigate what support and what is on offer for your autistic son. I remember England being fairly supportive of autism, or any issues children have, and some fairly good systems in place. I wonder what the current status is?

 

I am sorry you have just been through a collapsed marriage. Very hard for you. And maybe someone here might have a way to get around the pension/financial issue. Again, you do state your sons over there can help you.

 

Just wouldn't it be nice if everyone got to have their retirement years and live in the country of their choice.

[Johndoe]

I still stick to my theory, that it is hard to make genuine friends here in Aus. My best friend here is a kiwi, my other friends who make an effort are South African and German. I by no means choose a friend on what country they were born. I think socialising here is different to what I am use to and there is a cultural barrier here, as Chortlepuss states above.

 

I am a huge advocate for don't settle. There is always a way eventually. To Johndoe above, please keep trying to get back to England. Try and talk to your ex and your son might be helped a lot more in England than you realise. Plus you would have support from your other family.

 

My best friend here, the kiwi, came to Australia when she was 13. She is still trying to leave. 27 years later has still not settled here. She works part time from home and has made her life about raising and doing the best for her two children. Mother of the year type person. Anyway the issues her ex Aussie hubby keeps putting her through, I really feel for her. She can not leave until her youngest turns 16. 6 years to go. She keeps positive and just ticks off another year.

 

So absolutely there are issues and circumstances we all have to deal with. Some keep them behind closed doors, some people talk. Just keep trying to find a way and maybe you can have your sons in England investigate what support and what is on offer for your autistic son. I remember England being fairly supportive of autism, or any issues children have, and some fairly good systems in place. I wonder what the current status is?

 

I am sorry you have just been through a collapsed marriage. Very hard for you. And maybe someone here might have a way to get around the pension/financial issue. Again, you do state your sons over there can help you.

 

Just wouldn't it be nice if everyone got to have their retirement years and live in the country of their choice.

 

Thanks for addresasing my dilemma. There is no issue with permission to leave as my boys here are both over 18. The ex has chosen to move 800kms away to a "bush town" where visiting the boys here is likely to be a once in their lifetime affair and they have no desire to go visit her.

 

I appreicate that there is good help avavilable for autistic kids in the Uk but unfortunately, I don't believe that help is as good for the unemployed autistic person/adult. Unskilled employment is competetive at the best of times. We have 2 weeks over there next month so will glean more of an idea as to our chances but those chances will be based on our independence because although I know my older sons would help me out, it isn't in my nature to seek that help and even if it was, taking such a huge step should have it's basis in self reliance as the help of others, can often come unstuck once the novelty wears off and you are found to be "under someone's feet" so to speak

[bristolman]

I still stick to my theory, that it is hard to make genuine friends here in Aus. My best friend here is a kiwi, my other friends who make an effort are South African and German. I by no means choose a friend on what country they were born. I think socialising here is different to what I am use to and there is a cultural barrier here, as Chortlepuss states above.

 

 

 

When I think about it there is a large element of truth in that, the friends we made in Australia were very nice and we enjoyed being with them but they seemed almost transient if that makes sense ? Our friends here that we have known for many years are no different whether we see them every week or once a decade which has been the case in the past. The bond just seems stronger somehow. It's even more noticeable as Australia is a country that prides itself on 'mateship'.

[kiwiathome]

Absolutely bristolman. Australian friends "nice" but if you are from a different country or different way of thinking, you are not in.! I have never one second put Australia and mateship in the same sentence. Just not true huh!

 

Johndoe, really. You have freedom, your children are over 18. The world is your oyster. What do you really want? Because you come across a little conflicting. Your ex is not in the picture. I assume you know that. She moved miles to

the bush. If you care about your children, you don't do that. You state they do not want to see her, so she not in the picture.

 

So it is down to you and your children. You do not need to have her permission to take your children and go back to England. So why are you really still here? Maybe take a chance to trust your children in England. I do not think you would be

under their feet. I think they would love to have you back. And how do you really know your son won't get more help over there than here?

 

Maybe you could even go back to part time work in England if you wanted. I hope you enjoy your next two weeks over there and report back. Maybe your autistic child will be very happy when you are very happy. Have a great time. And maybe your

child will enjoy England very much.

[kiwiathome]

Wow bristolman I impressed. You only just joined and you been liked soooo much? I am new to this. I basically have never joined any forum. And while living in Australia, learned very quickly keep my mouth shut.!! Or else in trouble.

 

Hard for me, cause I am a natural chatter box. Just don't seem to gel with Australia.

 

Where in England do you live???? You have lived in Australia? Can I just ask, what made you want to join, if you have already moved back to England. I love England!

[Johndoe]

Absolutely bristolman. Australian friends "nice" but if you are from a different country or different way of thinking, you are not in.! I have never one second put Australia and mateship in the same sentence. Just not true huh!

 

Johndoe, really. You have freedom, your children are over 18. The world is your oyster. What do you really want? Because you come across a little conflicting. Your ex is not in the picture. I assume you know that. She moved miles to

the bush. If you care about your children, you don't do that. You state they do not want to see her, so she not in the picture.

 

So it is down to you and your children. You do not need to have her permission to take your children and go back to England. So why are you really still here? Maybe take a chance to trust your children in England. I do not think you would be

under their feet. I think they would love to have you back. And how do you really know your son won't get more help over there than here?

 

Maybe you could even go back to part time work in England if you wanted. I hope you enjoy your next two weeks over there and report back. Maybe your autistic child will be very happy when you are very happy. Have a great time. And maybe your

child will enjoy England very much.

 

Thank you, we will enjoy. We will be spending the whole 2 weeks around family in Wiltshire, as opposed to travelling the country as we have in the past, and only seeing family for a couple of days

 

Neither he, nor I would be entitled to help, having been in Oz for 20yrs.

 

Like I say, the biggest problem is financial. I would only have around 120 pound a week UK state pension to live on. I have double that here. Jake is not yet independent, so if he doesn't find work, that pittance would have to support both of us. We'll be happy wherever we are, I just know that we would more than likely be happier over there near the rest of the family, if we can sort finances. I'm unemployable due to health reasons and coming up to 67, I wouldn't want to work even if I could and I certainly wouldn't expect my family to contribute to my finances, no matter how much they want me to be there...............it'd be like taking money away from my grandchildren. I also have 2 grandchildren here who we are close to, one in UNI and one working at Australia Zoo, so there is that to consider also

 

I'll have a clearer picture once we've been back and done some research on "home soil" so to speak, so I can then either work at getting us over there or put the idea to rest.

[Quinkla]

Friends

 

It is difficult to make new friends once you have entered adulthood. Most people you meet simply aren't looking for friends. I think it depends more on context than on country - if you are in higher education or get involved in politics, you are more likely to meet people who are looking for new mates. If you go into an established workplace, you are less likely to do so. Not impossible, of course, but when it comes to friendships, you have to find two people who are open to building one. You can't do it unilaterally.

[bristolman]

Wow bristolman I impressed. You only just joined and you been liked soooo much? I am new to this. I basically have never joined any forum. And while living in Australia, learned very quickly keep my mouth shut.!! Or else in trouble.

 

Hard for me, cause I am a natural chatter box. Just don't seem to gel with Australia.

 

Where in England do you live???? You have lived in Australia? Can I just ask, what made you want to join, if you have already moved back to England. I love England!

 

Haha, I don't know why my posts get liked so much, I guess I am not totally in either 'camp' and have great affection for both countries so I try my best to be balanced. We live in Shropshire, a beautiful county. Yes we lived in Australia close to 30 years. I'm not sure what made me join this forum quite honestly, I had a look and it seems like a friendly place.

There is a lot about England to love if only some of the English would open their eyes and look lol.

[Marisawright]

Like I say, the biggest problem is financial. I would only have around 120 pound a week UK state pension to live on. I have double that here. Jake is not yet independent, so if he doesn't find work, that pittance would have to support both of us. We'll be happy wherever we are, I just know that we would more than likely be happier over there near the rest of the family, if we can sort finances. I'm unemployable due to health reasons and coming up to 67, I wouldn't want to work even if I could and I certainly wouldn't expect my family to contribute to my finances, no matter how much they want me to be there...............it'd be like taking money away from my grandchildren. I also have 2 grandchildren here who we are close to, one in UNI and one working at Australia Zoo, so there is that to consider also

 

I'll have a clearer picture once we've been back and done some research on "home soil" so to speak, so I can then either work at getting us over there or put the idea to rest.

 

I recall you have some kind of weird Australian pension arrangement - have you actually been to Centrelink and asked them to confirm what you'd get if you left Australia?

 

The other thing is that provided you have at least two years' NI contributions in the UK, you can apply to have your pre-2001 Australian work record counted towards your UK state pension once you're resident in the UK - that would help I'm sure? Each year of Australian work counts as one year of NI contributions. Also is it too late to pay some extra NI contributions to make up a few extra years?

[Johndoe]

I recall you have some kind of weird Australian pension arrangement - have you actually been to Centrelink and asked them to confirm what you'd get if you left Australia?

 

The other thing is that provided you have at least two years' NI contributions in the UK, you can apply to have your pre-2001 Australian work record counted towards your UK state pension once you're resident in the UK - that would help I'm sure? Each year of Australian work counts as one year of NI contributions. Also is it too late to pay some extra NI contributions to make up a few extra years?

 

 

I wouldn't say the Australian pension arrangement is weird. On the contrary it is far more generous than the UK. Australia makes up my UK pension to the level of the Australian one, effectively doubling what I would get if I was solely on the UK pension.

 

The 120 pound approx that I quote is indeed the full UK aged pension based on my more than 20yrs NI contributions so there is no more there to be had from the UK.

 

I have an appointement with centrelink to avail myself of what Australian pension may still be available to me if I leave for the UK permanently. It used to be the case that you lost it, I was informed, but a quick perusal of Centrlink web site doesn't confirm this, in fact it has the rates available, but the conditions for accessing those rates aren't very clear and are subject to some conditions that aren't disclosed on the site

[Gbye grey sky]

For all those looking to return it looks like you will be in good company. Figures just announced show inward migration to the UK for the past 12 months is 641,000, roughly half of these are from outside the EU. Net migration is 318,000, up around 50%.

[Guest]

Hope you make the right decision Greg....best of luck xx

 

Thanks mate. Hope you and your family are continuing to love being back home. Maybe I'm dreaming, but I'd love to go home when our daughter finishes primary school. Just gotta convince my OH! :wink:

[Rinkie66]

Moved home 6 months ago after 9 years in Sydney, we have 2 little Aussies of 2 and 4. We had massive cold feet right before the move despite really deciding to return at about the 5 year mark, when we sold our house, but stayed to have our daughter and spend some time back in central Sydney in the wonderful Newtown. In Singapore my husband suggested we could just move back for 3 weeks and then go back again! But since arriving we have never looked back, Sydney was a good place to live but never home for me, I worried about settling back here after reading posts on here, but there was no issue at all. My career is streets ahead here and I picked my contacts back up straight away, we live in a lovely area just outside London and my son has enrolled in a great first school, my husbands family live nearby and they LOVE to see nana, who is great with kids. I have to be honest and say I have barely thought of Sydney, despite thinking I would hve thought of it and fretted over it every day. I'm sure things will change as we are still honeymoon period, but we are so happy to be back, and for me, not to worry that I would wake up in 20 years time in Sydney, still constantly talking about going 'home' but then knowing I had 2 adult children who were Australian and would likely always then live on the opposite side of the world (they still might do that being dual passported admittedly!) and that would then be a fracture I couldn't fix.

[Conniebygaslight]

 

Thanks mate. Hope you and your family are continuing to love being back home. Maybe I'm dreaming, but I'd love to go home when our daughter finishes primary school. Just gotta convince my OH! :wink:

still her, still loving it.....back 5 years and not one single regret. X

[JockinTas]

When I was back in the UK for four weeks I met up with friends who moved back to Scotland from Australia. One family moved back 12 years ago, the other 15 years ago. They have no regrets - kids now have good jobs having finished uni. Both families have been back to Australia on holiday but wouldn't live here again. As far as I'm concerned, I love going back to the UK to visit relatives and friends but always look forward to returning to Australia. I would never knock the UK - it's a great place - the countryside is just gorgeous and I do admit to missing it but I'm happy here in Tasmania - far more content here than I was on the mainland.