Geordie girl Posted April 10, 2015 Share Posted April 10, 2015 Hi....please let me start by saying that this is my first time posting on here (on any forum actually) and first time reading anything on here so please bear with me everyone :smile: ok - well hubby and i moved to Aus in 1988 and decided we would try it for 5 years.....yeah we're still here! I don't have any family here and my husband has some here and some in England. We often (mostly me) discuss moving "home" and always said that if he was offered a redundancy package from work we would go (however we didn't actually think it would happen).....well 3 weeks ago he was given one...and now we are scared out of our brain to make the decision. Neither of us are happy here but we are both scared to make the leap. We have 2 teenage daughters (13 and 15) who will struggle at school in England as our eldest was held back a year - something that isn't offered in England schools, hubby turned 50 last week and i am 45 so finding work might be tricky too. I have an old early childhood qualification but haven't worked in the industry for 15 years, I currently work for the same government organisation as hubby did on a part time basis doing admin/retail and hubby doesn't have any formal qualifications however was in middle management for a government organisation until he was retrenched last month. Our daughters attend a private school here and are very happy there and don't want to move. Anyway, we have been back often (mainly me as my parents passed away a few years ago) so know what we would be going back too I guess. We don't know where to start as far as transferring money, superannuation/taxes, jobs, schools etc so please if you can offer any assistance to us it would be greatly appreciated. I have a puppy that I want to take too. We are worried about so much that it is making this decision so hard to make - we are the kind of people who like structure and security, but now feel totally lost. Sorry for the long post - and warning you all in advance, this probably wont be my last haha Thanks heaps :goofy: ....confused Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gbye grey sky Posted April 10, 2015 Share Posted April 10, 2015 Plenty there to think about and can understand why your struggling with the decision. We are moving the other way with our daughter who is 11 and we certainly would not have done it at age 13 or 15 out of concerns for disrupting both her education and her social life. A friend of our daughter's was held back a year too but it was a private school and she is an August baby so was borderline on age anyway. Bear in mind that private schooling in UK is extortionate compared with Oz. We will be paying around $10,000 per year in Oz as opposed to £15,000 per year so it is roughly 3 times the cost in UK. State schools vary so much with good schools being prized and oversubscribed. No guarantees they would get in the same school either. Wherever you are, getting jobs in middle age is tricky and you will be disadvantaged unless you have a network of contacts. I am not trying to put you off. If you really want something bad enough you can make it work I am sure. Whereabouts in the UK did you have in mind? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
starlight7 Posted April 10, 2015 Share Posted April 10, 2015 I would also check out your super - there may be implications for you after all this time. Would you be eligible for health etc and free schooling for the kids? Difficult decision- what do your children think? Mind you, I do think it is up to the adults to make the decision either way but might be something to discuss- easier if you all agree! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jon83 Posted April 10, 2015 Share Posted April 10, 2015 It's an important decision and you need to reflect on why you're not happy in Oz. Will it really be any different back in the UK? Except that you'll be starting all over again? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Geordie girl Posted April 10, 2015 Author Share Posted April 10, 2015 hi thanks for your comments.....the girls really don't want to go but if we leave it any longer, they will be adults then i wont want to return to the UK without them......but i can't see myself living out my days here in aus either..............................aaagghhhhhhh We will have lots more support there in England via family and actually still keep in contact with quite a few friends too. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
calNgary Posted April 10, 2015 Share Posted April 10, 2015 hi thanks for your comments.....the girls really don't want to go but if we leave it any longer, they will be adults then i wont want to return to the UK without them......but i can't see myself living out my days here in aus either..............................aaagghhhhhhh We will have lots more support there in England via family and actually still keep in contact with quite a few friends too. If you did go and after what you said above about the girls ,just try and think how you will feel in 5 or 6 years when the girls are old enough to decide that they may want to come back here, if you don't want to leave them here,will you want to stay there if they come back? Cal x Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted April 10, 2015 Share Posted April 10, 2015 Okay to put your mind at rest you won't have any problems registering for free medical care or free schooling - private education can be more expensive here though we pay just under £10k a year for primary school.15 is an incredibly difficult age to move back as it is half way through GCSE courses - all isn't lost though as GSCE's can be taken from 16 in FE and 6th form colleges, it just means an extra year of schooling which it sounds like she would have anyway in Australia. What the impact would be depends on your daughter both her personality and ambitions. What is the likelihood of your husband finding work easily where you are? At 50 (& my OH is 50 next month!) it isn't going to be easy anywhere so I would be guided by that - you can always plan to retire to the UK if work options right now are better in Australia.Do bear in mind you have to be 'habitualy resident' in the UK to get any benefits and proving that can take 3-6 months whereas you are already entitled to centrelink payments.It seems one of your drivers for moving back now is if you wait your daughters won't move with you but realistically if you move now they can simply move back as adults- in fact at 18/21 they are very likely to head for which ever country you're not living in! Just for the adventure- I know I would have at that age. Who knows which country they'll settle down in so little point making decisions based on that.I would look at which country your needs are best served for the next 5 years, if it's pretty even on balance then follow your heart to the UK but if it isn't don't let your heart rule your head! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
beach pig Posted April 10, 2015 Share Posted April 10, 2015 If you did go and after what you said above about the girls ,just try and think how you will feel in 5 or 6 years when the girls are old enough to decide that they may want to come back here, if you don't want to leave them here,will you want to stay there if they come back? Cal x a question I torture myself with.if my kids want to come back later on that's their choice. For now as children they go with the flow on what their parents decide to do.and if the parents are happy the children will be. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bungo Posted April 10, 2015 Share Posted April 10, 2015 It looks really quite risky to me. Children at awkward age, yourselves at awkward age for finding work and by sounds of it not qualified and one of you without recent work experience. I didn't really see anything about *why* you want to move back or what you have to gain by it. Perhaps you need to really make sure you can set that out for yourselves? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
beach pig Posted April 10, 2015 Share Posted April 10, 2015 Sorry my response sounded harsh,what I meant was we came here together and we will leave together.and my children have a big sway in that matter in the fact that they want to go back to the uk,after 7 years.Lisa my partner is either way.she could board a plane tommorow.or stay here. I am blessed to have that reasoning. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Geordie girl Posted April 11, 2015 Author Share Posted April 11, 2015 thank you so much for taking the time to comment. Your advice is very true. In the back of my head i know that once the girls are 18 they can go wherever they want......i just dont want to think of that In all honesty, my hubby will probably have a greater chance of getting a job here BUT if we move back we will be mortgage free whereas we wont be here. Its the hardest decision to make....... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Geordie girl Posted April 11, 2015 Author Share Posted April 11, 2015 Hi and thanks for your comments. For me the main reason for moving back is my family. My parents both passed away and i kick myself every time i think about it for not being there.....i dont want to miss any more time away from my family. We are basically unhappy and lonely here Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JockinTas Posted April 11, 2015 Share Posted April 11, 2015 Being unhappy and lonely must be horrible. Best wishes to you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Marisawright Posted April 11, 2015 Share Posted April 11, 2015 hi thanks for your comments.....the girls really don't want to go but if we leave it any longer, they will be adults then i wont want to return to the UK without them......but i can't see myself living out my days here in aus either..............................aaagghhhhhhh . If you wait till you retire you'll be stuck, trust me I'm going through it now! You really need to get back to the UK and work for a while so you can build up your UK pension, otherwise you'll be stuck in Australia until your late 60's (you can't claim your Aussie state pension from the UK). Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted April 11, 2015 Share Posted April 11, 2015 Personally why wait if you are so unhappy in Australia just go. Good luck. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Quoll Posted April 11, 2015 Share Posted April 11, 2015 If your DH is in "apply for jobs" mode then he should apply in both places and see what comes up. If you have a concrete offer on the table it makes choosing easier. Age may well be an issue but probably more of an issue in Aus than UK (my limited experience and observation) Certainly moving your your girls at this age won't be easy but if you moved now the elder one would have a bit of a scramble to catch up but it would be possible with a bit of extra time in school. If if you're taking a punt on where your kids, as adults, are going to end up then you're on a hiding to nothing, they could be anywhere between Alaska and Zanzibar so the only thing you can plan is where you're likely to be better off in older age. If it's Aus then draw a line and keep having sanity hits (holidays) but if it's UK then future protect yourself by keeping up your contributions and moving soon enough to get your retirement income sorted. Bottom line, if you can't see yourself growing old in Aus then move - quickly. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
foolboy Posted April 11, 2015 Share Posted April 11, 2015 Why are you waiting get back to where you really want to be. Don't worry about your kids education. I know a good education is important but it's what you do in the real world that matters. I lived here since 1978 and have finally decided to move back this year even at the old age of 48 I'm sure I will get some kind of job just like you and your husband will. To the people telling you the UK is stuffed they need to look at Australia first. This country might of missed the GFC but it is def moving towards a recession it's just that the natives are too blind to see it. Get on that plane quick smart and enjoy the life you really want. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gbye grey sky Posted April 11, 2015 Share Posted April 11, 2015 Why are you waiting get back to where you really want to be. Don't worry about your kids education. I know a good education is important but it's what you do in the real world that matters. I lived here since 1978 and have finally decided to move back this year even at the old age of 48 I'm sure I will get some kind of job just like you and your husband will. To the people telling you the UK is stuffed they need to look at Australia first. This country might of missed the GFC but it is def moving towards a recession it's just that the natives are too blind to see it. Get on that plane quick smart and enjoy the life you really want. You are aptly named. Nobody has said the UK is stuffed. And totally ridiculous not to worry about the kids education. I know the redundancy thing has focussed the mind but I cannot help but wonder why now? There would have been many previous opportunities to move back and stronger reasons when your parents were still alive and when the children were very young perhaps (and when the exchange rate was more favourable a couple of years ago). That support network reason is more valid when the kids are young than when they are independent teenagers. Those friends and relatives in the UK will have their own lives to lead. Sure when you visit and when you first arrive back you will get attention but it would not take long for day to day reality to set in. You say you are lonely but surely you must have made a couple of friends in the past 27 years over there. To move back solely because you perceive you will feel less lonely in Newcastle may not match the reality I fear. I assume you are looking to return to Newcastle and with property much pricier in Melbourne you expect to get a home without a mortgage there. But with no access to benefits at first and the possibility of being out of work for a while at least how long will you manage on your savings? The point about NIC is a valid one. Your OH has just 17 years until he is eligible for a state pension so will need to top up contributions so that he gets a full one as will you. To do that you will probably need to be working. Your Super pensions will bring you a tax free income if you retire in Oz but will be deemed taxable income in the UK and you will be at the mercy of exchange rates. Then there is the initial moving costs. Flights, shipping furniture (which may not fit into your eventual UK house) and puppy will set you back too. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Murta Posted April 11, 2015 Share Posted April 11, 2015 tough decision guys totally empathise. I wonder Sarah when you started feeling like this? Your kids were born there obviously so when did this kick in? I ask cause I wonder was it as you passed through the passing of your parents? Maybe you need to take some time to work through that a little and this might reduce the pull to return.- because yu say you kick yourself for not being there.......Just a thought as you seem to have built up a great life there, kids are a beautiful age and seem to be doing well. Does your hubby feel he could sit it out some some more? Yes it is a great option to be mortgage free in the UK hence reduced pressure on obtaining 2 wages etc and alternatively yes the girls may wish to return to their homeland, but you will be citizens ; so can come and go to visit them no worries and who knows your future prospects when grandkids come along you might just up sticks and do the 6mth stint every year thing back in Oz. simply who knows? but you need to financially secure yourselves along with, really thrashing out the girls' thoughts and plans for them when they get here to the UK. I totally get it though how tough it is . the like of your posts are regularly needed as we (the ones on here to talk about emigrating TO oz ) can see it the other way round and advise with the shoe on the other foot. thanks for that at least and good luck! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
flag of convenience Posted April 11, 2015 Share Posted April 11, 2015 You are aptly named. Nobody has said the UK is stuffed. And totally ridiculous not to worry about the kids education. I know the redundancy thing has focussed the mind but I cannot help but wonder why now? There would have been many previous opportunities to move back and stronger reasons when your parents were still alive and when the children were very young perhaps (and when the exchange rate was more favourable a couple of years ago). That support network reason is more valid when the kids are young than when they are independent teenagers. Those friends and relatives in the UK will have their own lives to lead. Sure when you visit and when you first arrive back you will get attention but it would not take long for day to day reality to set in. You say you are lonely but surely you must have made a couple of friends in the past 27 years over there. To move back solely because you perceive you will feel less lonely in Newcastle may not match the reality I fear. I assume you are looking to return to Newcastle and with property much pricier in Melbourne you expect to get a home without a mortgage there. But with no access to benefits at first and the possibility of being out of work for a while at least how long will you manage on your savings? The point about NIC is a valid one. Your OH has just 17 years until he is eligible for a state pension so will need to top up contributions so that he gets a full one as will you. To do that you will probably need to be working. Your Super pensions will bring you a tax free income if you retire in Oz but will be deemed taxable income in the UK and you will be at the mercy of exchange rates. Then there is the initial moving costs. Flights, shipping furniture (which may not fit into your eventual UK house) and puppy will set you back too. Changes appear afoot with regards to non taxed super. I wouldn't hold my breath at 48 (as is the poster), that remaining so. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gbye grey sky Posted April 11, 2015 Share Posted April 11, 2015 Changes appear afoot with regards to non taxed super. I wouldn't hold my breath at 48 (as is the poster), that remaining so. Staying cheerful keeps you going. Every silver lining has a cloud. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bolt4 Posted April 11, 2015 Share Posted April 11, 2015 I agree, and what really gets me is that if she was headed in the other direction, Uk to Aus, everyone would be saying YES go for it, you'll never know unless you try blah blah blah. The children would still be the same age starting new school, there would still be the possibility of no employment to begin with and they would still have to manage on savings to start with. And yet because it a move back to the uk, it's deemed too risky? No different in my book. Sorry was meant to reply to Foolboys post but not too good at this Internet lark lol.:arghh: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bungo Posted April 11, 2015 Share Posted April 11, 2015 I agree, and what really gets me is that if she was headed in the other direction, Uk to Aus, everyone would be saying YES go for it, you'll never know unless you try blah blah blah. The children would still be the same age starting new school, there would still be the possibility of no employment to begin with and they would still have to manage on savings to start with. And yet because it a move back to the uk, it's deemed too risky? No different in my book. Sorry was meant to reply to Foolboys post but not too good at this Internet lark lol.:arghh: No they wouldn't be saying that. The only people that have tried to make this an Aus vs UK thing are you and Foolboy. Everybody else is just doing their best to consider the OPs situation and comment on that,jThe direction of travel is largely irrelevant to the points everyone else has made. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
VERYSTORMY Posted April 11, 2015 Share Posted April 11, 2015 Go to where makes you most happy. You only have one life and it goes pretty quickly. Schools and things sort themselves out Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted April 11, 2015 Share Posted April 11, 2015 I agree, and what really gets me is that if she was headed in the other direction, Uk to Aus, everyone would be saying YES go for it, you'll never know unless you try blah blah blah. The children would still be the same age starting new school, there would still be the possibility of no employment to begin with and they would still have to manage on savings to start with. And yet because it a move back to the uk, it's deemed too risky? No different in my book. I agree, however,moving at 15 to Australia wouldn't have anywhere near as an impact of education as moving to the UK as the first exams are taken at 18 not 16. Plus if you move to Australia with a 15 year old, hate it and move back in two years, it is unlikely they would be able to return as they would not be citizens, whereas moving a 15 year old Australian citizen to the UK means there is a high risk they will move back. Although as I said earlier, at the moment there is probably a high risk they'll head to the UK at 18/21 so it's a moot point. At the moment the OP's husband has no job in either country - the sensible decision is to live where there is most likelihood of financial security. I absolutely would not advise a 49 year old with two children who had a good job in the UK to give it up and move to Australia without a job to go to but you're right that others would, especially if they moved themselves in better times or are equally caught up in the dream. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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