claireandpaul Posted January 8, 2015 Share Posted January 8, 2015 Hi, Just after a bit of advice after years of having a visa it's time to decided whether to make the move to Australia or not. I still feel uneasy about the move and think it might be the wrong decision. We have an ok life in the UK. I'm a stay at home mum and my husband works. I've been offered a great job in Queensland I'm just wondering why I am still hesitating. May be it's just not for us. I do feel disappointed that I'm struggling with the decision. Oh and I need to decide today :twitcy: I'm wondering if I should just do it for my child so they have a great outdoor life. Thanks in advance for any help. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cass1e04 Posted January 8, 2015 Share Posted January 8, 2015 Claire and Paul From a purely personal perspective, when we were offerred the oppourtunity there was absolutly no doubt in our mind and during the whole process that decision has never been questioned once the decision was made. We feel its right for us and if we had any doubts the long process would never reach conclusion. Big decision to make and you need to be sure its right as its a very stressfull process to complete. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Katie22 Posted January 8, 2015 Share Posted January 8, 2015 Very difficult decision if you're not too sure you want to go ahead with it - new home, new job the other side of the world so far away from family and friends - that's exciting if your heart's in it but pretty stressful if it's not. My personal advice would be don't let the only reason you do go ahead to be for a more outdoor life for your child - your child will only be happy if you are happy - and plenty of kids have a happy childhood in the northern hemisphere - I did! Good luck whatever you decide! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Que Sera Sera Posted January 8, 2015 Share Posted January 8, 2015 It really doesn't sound like you're committed to it. Don't get me wrong we love it here, it was the best thing we've ever done but we were 100 percent committed to and and excited to have the opportunity. You clearly aren't in that place so the time clearly isn't right. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
paddymacs Posted January 8, 2015 Share Posted January 8, 2015 Hi Claire in a similar position ourselves. Even on our 2nd PR Visa done recckie etc etc even decided we'd probably go to Queensland after initially saying Perth. My head is completely wrecked this has been a dream if mine for the last 25 years. My problem is leaving my parents they are both in their 70's and I'm feeling very guilty for leaving them. I am also a stay at home mum ATM but DH has for the last few years a good job and we are in a lovely area own our own house etc etc but still i cannot make up my mind! I do feel if we had a job lined up it may help but we not gone that far yet although we saying if we are going it will be July/August this year so like you i need to make a decision very soon. I don't want to be regretting this in 10 years time. What is the pull for you why did you apply for PR and what is stopping you? No one can make up your mind but it will be nice to see what PIO,s people say. Good luck Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
blossom Posted January 8, 2015 Share Posted January 8, 2015 I'd only do it if you are happy with it possibly not being forever. If you don't like it and are happy to go back then fine. Although you run the risk of one of you loving it and one hating it (assuming you are a couple) which can destroy a marriage. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
claireandpaul Posted January 8, 2015 Author Share Posted January 8, 2015 Thank you for your messages. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HelensvaleHoward Posted January 8, 2015 Share Posted January 8, 2015 Hi, Just after a bit of advice after years of having a visa it's time to decided whether to make the move to Australia or not. I still feel uneasy about the move and think it might be the wrong decision. We have an ok life in the UK. I'm a stay at home mum and my husband works. I've been offered a great job in Queensland I'm just wondering why I am still hesitating. May be it's just not for us. I do feel disappointed that I'm struggling with the decision. Oh and I need to decide today :twitcy: I'm wondering if I should just do it for my child so they have a great outdoor life. Thanks in advance for any help. You need to do it for yourselves not your child You must be committed to it and both of you be able to give it everything for it to work Choose wisely have no regrets Write down the pros and the cons If you have lots of cons then maybe it isn't the right time Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rvaria Posted January 8, 2015 Share Posted January 8, 2015 Hi, Just after a bit of advice after years of having a visa it's time to decided whether to make the move to Australia or not. I still feel uneasy about the move and think it might be the wrong decision. We have an ok life in the UK. I'm a stay at home mum and my husband works. I've been offered a great job in Queensland I'm just wondering why I am still hesitating. May be it's just not for us. I do feel disappointed that I'm struggling with the decision. Oh and I need to decide today :twitcy: I'm wondering if I should just do it for my child so they have a great outdoor life. Thanks in advance for any help. You child can have a great and fulfilling life in the UK very easily. I wouldn't base a decision to move on that alone. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Marisawright Posted January 8, 2015 Share Posted January 8, 2015 I still feel uneasy about the move and think it might be the wrong decision. We have an ok life in the UK. I'm a stay at home mum and my husband works. I've been offered a great job in Queensland I'm just wondering why I am still hesitating. I'm wondering if I should just do it for my child so they have a great outdoor life. I'd say don't do it. It's rare for everything to go smoothly when you arrive, and you'll have a lot of adapting and adjusting to do. If you arrive fully committed and looking forward to the adventure, you'll jump those hurdles and push on through the hard times till you've made it: if you arrive wondering if you made the right decision, those early setbacks will ,make you question your decision and you're less likely to stick it out. Bear in mind that this move will cost you thousands of dollars, and if it fails it will cost you several thousand more. Is it worth it? If all you're looking forward to is a better life for your child, I don't think that's enough. Yes it's a more outdoorsy, sporty life but is that what your child wants? In terms of variety of opportunity there's more choice in the UK than in Queensland. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Skani Posted January 8, 2015 Share Posted January 8, 2015 Migrating is extremely stressful, even when both of you are totally committed to it. With all your doubts, I suspect it would be a step too far Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
claireandpaul Posted January 8, 2015 Author Share Posted January 8, 2015 Thanks everyone. It's good for me to write this down and get it off my chest. I am wondering why I go this visa in the first place, I do feel that I shouldn't give up because I must have really wanted to go to apply for the visa. I just don't want to regret it if I don't go. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HelensvaleHoward Posted January 8, 2015 Share Posted January 8, 2015 You won't be the first or last to get a visa and not use it Just do it for the right reasons Don't feel under pressure because of having a visa Life changes Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HappyHeart Posted January 8, 2015 Share Posted January 8, 2015 I always think; even with your rational head on, if you want something you'll talk yourself into it, minimise the pitfalls, turn negatives into positives and generally be a bit blinkered if you're not 100% you'll find excuses not to do it.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Quoll Posted January 8, 2015 Share Posted January 8, 2015 Do it if youve got a better offer on the table. Dont do it "for the kids' outdoor lifestyle" - that's a furphy. Only do it if there is something in your life that needs fixing - if it aint broke then dont fix it. So what if youve got the visa and let it lapse - no biggie just draw a line and congratulate yourself for having it pretty good where you are. Regrets are a waste of energy. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Marisawright Posted January 8, 2015 Share Posted January 8, 2015 Thanks everyone. It's good for me to write this down and get it off my chest. I am wondering why I go this visa in the first place, I do feel that I shouldn't give up because I must have really wanted to go to apply for the visa. I just don't want to regret it if I don't go. Beware that you're not just doing this because you've got into a "I've started so I've got to finish it" mentality. I think that's human nature - you've put SO much effort into this, how can you possibly abandon the idea now? But that's not the right attitude - life changes over the years and there is no shame in changing your mind. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
paddymacs Posted January 8, 2015 Share Posted January 8, 2015 Did you make a decision? I know you said you had to do it today but don't be putting too much pressure on yourself how much time have you left on visa? Is your child included or will you need another visa for them? I was just thinking if that is the case it might make your decision easier!? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cathy99 Posted January 9, 2015 Share Posted January 9, 2015 From the tone of your email and your total lack of enthusiasm i would actually say stay where you are, the grass is not always greener and if your life is good then dont change a thing. It is very stressful emigrating, very hard on relationships, throws you out of your comfort zone, you miss family and friends like mad and it doesn't go away! You feel lonely and isolated until you start to find your feet and make friends, which can take a long time - I'm not trying to scare you just being realistic! We only emigrated because our life had hit rock bottom emotionally and financially so thought what the hell, lets give it a go we've got nothing to lose, but if things had been good then it wouldn't of even come up in conversation - but having said all that if you feel its a decision you might regret and you go into with your eyes fully wide open then why don't you go for it and give yourself a timeframe then you can assess things after that time! Good luck :0) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Phoenix16 Posted January 9, 2015 Share Posted January 9, 2015 my advice, listen to your instincts, mine never let me down!! You've had some great advice so far, for what it's worth I do agree with 'if it ain't broken....' If you've got a good life there and the yearning isn't that strong, don't do it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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