Been a while

[paul1977]

The difference being....you can stay in one place being stuck in a rut....or you can try something new.

 

you never know unless you try.

And once you've lived in that new place for a certain amount of time when in your opinion do you become stuck in a rut..?

[paul1977]

Yes, let us all just agree that life is exactly the same in Oz and the UK - no need at all for PIO then.:confused:

Ok then you tell me once the settling in period is over and you find your feet tell my regrading " being stuck in a rut" and " doing the same old thing "' how life becomes any differnt...?

[Pumpkin]

What exactly did that "point" bring to the table? Nothing! The OP was expressing an opinion and not damning the people back in the UK. I feel that same. I feel that we have had the balls to do something major in our lives whilst our friends back in the UK are quite content in doing "the same old things". It does not make us or the OP better than them just different.

 

Mate, stop trying to make a positive post into a negative post just to fit your agenda.

 

Well I got his point to be honest. I don't understand the need in the first post to comment on people back home doing same old things, same old jobs, as if they should not be. Perhaps they are doing those things because it makes them happy? OP is the one who has been miserable and unhappy, so ...

 

And your post too, you say you are not damning people and then in next line self-declare the size of your own balls, presumably implying you have much bigger ones than other people.

[Katie22]

A good piece of advice to people who've not been here long to think about sticking it out a little longer to see if things get better. Really happy for the OP that it's worked out. Homesickness is horrible and heartbreaking at times.

 

Funny though when I reflect on my life I realize that I've been stuck more in a rut here in Australia than I have anywhere else so it does happen both ways and I reckon that's more of an individual outlook than dependent upon which country you live in.

[fourcorners]

Life's a bit like off-road driving. You're giving it welly and then the particular rut you're in starts to slow you down and you start grinding to a halt. So you wiggle you wheels and make it over into another rut which looks a bit better from the outside. That rut might lead you to the end of the track but sometimes it won't and you find yourself slowing down again. So back to the other rut, or maybe a new rut. In any rut, you've still got to give it everything and work hard, otherwise you've got to get the spade out.

[leanne1287]

So it's been interesting the response my post has had. Maybe I worded it wrong, I guess everyone had moved on with there lives without us. That there lives had stayed the same, and yes many of them are happy with that. But we had changed we have a broader out look on our lives and what we wanted for us. Where as many of our family and friends say that would love to live here but have not taking the steps to do so. I'm not saying we would never go back, we love the UK and being Welsh love our homeland. Yes I agree that you can get stuck in a rut wherever you are, it was just a personnel observation for us when we were home! I guess my post was just to share my experience with homesickness and settling here in Oz and that it can be an emotional roller coaster, and that you can get past it and come out the other side and enjoy everything Oz has to offer. While I was going through the homesickness wanting to go home wasn't because I hated Oz or that things were different I loved it here, I just couldn't separate the emotional side of things!!

[ramot]

So it's been interesting the response my post has had. Maybe I worded it wrong, I guess everyone had moved on with there lives without us. That there lives had stayed the same, and yes many of them are happy with that. But we had changed we have a broader out look on our lives and what we wanted for us. Where as many of our family and friends say that would love to live here but have not taking the steps to do so. I'm not saying we would never go back, we love the UK and being Welsh love our homeland. Yes I agree that you can get stuck in a rut wherever you are, it was just a personnel observation for us when we were home! I guess my post was just to share my experience with homesickness and settling here in Oz and that it can be an emotional roller coaster, and that you can get past it and come out the other side and enjoy everything Oz has to offer. While I was going through the homesickness wanting to go home wasn't because I hated Oz or that things were different I loved it here, I just couldn't separate the emotional side of things!!

 

Don't worry some of us knew exactly what you meant, and understood.

[Jacaranda]

I think after moving anywhere,the honeymoon period will wear off at some point.I've just spent a few months living back in Adelaide,and yes people I know are doing exactly the same thing they were doing when I was last there 2 years ago.Thats life!What I've noticed when I'm in the UK is alot of unfounded jealousy.People hear my accent (Aussie)and go into the "I'd love to live in Australia"probably because they've watched too many episodes of WDU.Most assume all we're doing over there is laying on the beach with our glass of champagne.Most hate to imagine life is pretty much the same on a daily basis and that there is some magical land out there that will be the answer to all their dreams.

OP I am glad that you have now found some peace in your life,may it continue xx

[Gbye grey sky]

I think after moving anywhere,the honeymoon period will wear off at some point.I've just spent a few months living back in Adelaide,and yes people I know are doing exactly the same thing they were doing when I was last there 2 years ago.Thats life!What I've noticed when I'm in the UK is alot of unfounded jealousy.People hear my accent (Aussie)and go into the "I'd love to live in Australia"probably because they've watched too many episodes of WDU.Most assume all we're doing over there is laying on the beach with our glass of champagne.Most hate to imagine life is pretty much the same on a daily basis and that there is some magical land out there that will be the answer to all their dreams.

OP I am glad that you have now found some peace in your life,may it continue xx

 

Has been different for us. All the people who know we are moving have been puzzled about it. Not critical or anything but it is clear that they cannot see why we would want to uproot ourselves and our daughter, give up our jobs and move to Australia. One of our friends was brought up in Australia and is keen to move back with her family so she is a bit envious. I haven't found people viewing it as a resort.

[Guest]

I think after moving anywhere,the honeymoon period will wear off at some point.I've just spent a few months living back in Adelaide,and yes people I know are doing exactly the same thing they were doing when I was last there 2 years ago.Thats life!What I've noticed when I'm in the UK is alot of unfounded jealousy.People hear my accent (Aussie)and go into the "I'd love to live in Australia"probably because they've watched too many episodes of WDU.Most assume all we're doing over there is laying on the beach with our glass of champagne.Most hate to imagine life is pretty much the same on a daily basis and that there is some magical land out there that will be the answer to all their dreams.

OP I am glad that you have now found some peace in your life,may it continue xx

 

I had a friend say to me they were so glad I'd come back....and then she explained that she had been born and brought up the the same town that she was now bringing her children up but she is well travelled, has at least four holidays a year and honeymooned in Australia which both her and her husband loved. They are both skilled in the same field as me so equally able to have got an independent skilled visa. She was glad I was back - not just because she had missed me (though she assured me she had!) but it re-assured her that her life would not be better elsewhere after all ....it really is fundamentally the same 'rut' wherever in the world you live....and the Australian 'rut' is remarkably similar in the British one if you are a middle-aged professional with children!

 

My worry is I don't do ruts very well so every couple of years I like to crawl out and mix things up a bit......my latest plan is a chalet in France, that'll keep me amused for a while...but this time it's a holiday home only....for now;)

[paul1977]

 

Has been different for us. All the people who know we are moving have been puzzled about it. Not critical or anything but it is clear that they cannot see why we would want to uproot ourselves and our daughter, give up our jobs and move to Australia. One of our friends was brought up in Australia and is keen to move back with her family so she is a bit envious. I haven't found people viewing it as a resort.

and the reasons are..???

[Que Sera Sera]

Exactly. Life goes on. In both countries people wake up tired, cajole their kids to get ready for school, eat worthy cereals, curse the fact that they didn't iron that shirt the night before, or get the earlier train. Only the weather and the time zones are different.

 

Not for me my life bears no resemblance to my UK day to day existence. We are all living different lives and that's a very sweeping statement IMO. Well done OP sounds like you've turned a corner long may you've happy. I myself have never felt homesick remotely I'm going back for a visit soon I'm a bit worried I might get it on return now! Viv La difference , strange how someone being happy can upset so many people.:wacko:

[paul1977]

Not for me my life bears no resemblance to my UK day to day existence. We are all living different lives and that's a very sweeping statement IMO. Well done OP sounds like you've turned a corner long may you've happy. I myself have never felt homesick remotely I'm going back for a visit soon I'm a bit worried I might get it on return now! Viv La difference , strange how someone being happy can upset so many people.:wacko:

So you now don't go to work, go to the same supermarket, shopping center, coffee shop etc..??? You completely see through the point .. The way you say it is everyday you do something new or go somewhere new

[Que Sera Sera]

So you now don't go to work, go to the same supermarket, shopping center, coffee shop etc..??? You completely see through the point .. The way you say it is everyday you do something new or go somewhere new

 

No I dont my job is different everyday and not in the same place. I get up at different times yes I get my son to school but other than that nothing is the same.

[tea4too]

I don’t think any of us can decide that some one else is living in a rut, tbh. That’s something you can only really decide for yourself, as one person’s rut can be another person’s sense of contentment – no matter where (or how) you (or they) live. Tx

[paul1977]

Not for me my life bears no resemblance to my UK day to day existence. We are all living different lives and that's a very sweeping statement IMO. Well done OP sounds like you've turned a corner long may you've happy. I myself have never felt homesick remotely I'm going back for a visit soon I'm a bit worried I might get it on return now! Viv La difference , strange how someone being happy can upset so many people.:wacko:

What gets my back up is arrogant people looking down on people making comments. " went back and people are doing the same old things " ..... Get off your high horse and get your head out of your own arse and realise that people A.. Might be happy with their life's and B people may not want to move to australia. Just because YOU were unhappy with your old life and moved to the other side of the planet it's then doesn't mean you can look down on people accusing them of being in ruts when they themself's may not wish to live the new life style that you lead. Over and out

[Chortlepuss]

Can't wait to be back in my rut TBH. I'm over moving rentals all the time and constantly looking for work. Too much change at my time of life!! And yes, while it's been a great adventure v few people in my home town with their secure jobs, lovely houses and access to travel envy us. But brilliant that OP is feeling settled - am envious of that!

[Que Sera Sera]

What gets my back up is arrogant people looking down on people making comments. " went back and people are doing the same old things " ..... Get off your high horse and get your head out of your own arse and realise that people A.. Might be happy with their life's and B people may not want to move to australia. Just because YOU were unhappy with your old life and moved to the other side of the planet it's then doesn't mean you can look down on people accusing them of being in ruts when they themself's may not wish to live the new life style that you lead. Over and out

 

I understand your comment because its your right to be offended, but I just wish to confirm that although you have quoted me, I am not arrogant and nor did I dislike my previous life in the UK and I certainly don't ever look down my nose at people. I certainly didn't read the OP's comments that way either.

[paul1977]

I understand your comment because its your right to be offended, but I just wish to confirm that although you have quoted me, I am not arrogant and nor did I dislike my previous life in the UK and I certainly don't ever look down my nose at people. I certainly didn't read the OP's comments that way either.

And I promise I'm not trying to point fingers at anyone or be nasty in anyway. It's just I find it slightly offensive that people can be so judgmental on people they call friends and even worse family. When I go back to the uk the last thing on my mind is too see if people are doing " the same old thing" just to give me more of a reson to live in Australia ( if that was the case). I find it ever so strange that people view " the same old thing" as a negative.It's their life not yours , and if any people get some form of kick out of it then they need to take a long hard look at their own life's and stop trying to compare to justifi their move.

[Jacaranda]

Has been different for us. All the people who know we are moving have been puzzled about it. Not critical or anything but it is clear that they cannot see why we would want to uproot ourselves and our daughter, give up our jobs and move to Australia. One of our friends was brought up in Australia and is keen to move back with her family so she is a bit envious. I haven't found people viewing it as a resort.

Really?That surprises me alot actually!Mind you, it was the opposite when I was in Oz (only arrived back in the UK on Friday).Had quite a few people mention to me they'd like to live in the UK,so I guess it works both ways.

[Gbye grey sky]

and the reasons are..???

 

Want to retire somewhere much warmer than UK. Also keen on the adventure and no strong family ties anywhere. It is a risk. I used to be risk averse in my younger days and was stuck in a rut in an unhappy marriage. Since I started taking risks life has become much richer for me. I guess most of us are stuck in a rut and convince ourselves that the alternative may be worse.

[FOL]

So you now don't go to work, go to the same supermarket, shopping center, coffee shop etc..??? You completely see through the point .. The way you say it is everyday you do something new or go somewhere new

 

I am on this one with Que Sera, Sera. Our life used to be so much different in Australia than NL (similar to UK). Took me a trip back to realise. Sure you have to work, do groceries etc. And for me those things are pretty similar. However all the spare time we did have in AU is spend so much differently than back in Europe.

 

In Australia we were on the beach or with the horses 3-4 days a week, we went away for long weekends (camping) multiple times a year (except the 2 months during winter) and we enjoyed our time in the park. Just laying in the warmth in the grass. You can say that some of those things can be done in the NL/UK as well. But to be honest, with that awful amount of rain and cold weather pretty much 8 months a year (and even being unpredictable in summer), it definitely is not the same for us.

[Guest]

I am on this one with Que Sera, Sera. Our life used to be so much different in Australia than NL (similar to UK). Took me a trip back to realise. Sure you have to work, do groceries etc. And for me those things are pretty similar. However all the spare time we did have in AU is spend so much differently than back in Europe.

 

In Australia we were on the beach or with the horses 3-4 days a week, we went away for long weekends (camping) multiple times a year (except the 2 months during winter) and we enjoyed our time in the park. Just laying in the warmth in the grass. You can say that some of those things can be done in the NL/UK as well. But to be honest, with that awful amount of rain and cold weather pretty much 8 months a year (and even being unpredictable in summer), it definitely is not the same for us.

 

I think you are missing the point - it is not what you do in Australia is the same as what you do in NL/UK - it is that in Australia you do the same things over and over which is exactly what you say - 'at the beach or with the horses 3-4 days a week' exactly the same as people in the UK do the same things over and over again. It's not that the things that you do are the same it's the fact that life (for most of us) doesn't have much variety - I would rather poke myself in the eye with a stick than go to the beach 3-4 times a week, we all like different things and when we find the things we like we keep doing them

 

If it happens that the weather/culture/location/geography etc. in Australia is better for the things you enjoy doing then you'll be happier there but for us the weather/culture etc. of the UK is better for the things we like doing.

[FOL]

I think you are missing the point - it is not what you do in Australia is the same as what you do in NL/UK - it is that in Australia you do the same things over and over which is exactly what you say - 'at the beach or with the horses 3-4 days a week' exactly the same as people in the UK do the same things over and over again. It's not that the things that you do are the same it's the fact that life (for most of us) doesn't have much variety - I would rather poke myself in the eye with a stick than go to the beach 3-4 times a week, we all like different things and when we find the things we like we keep doing them

 

If it happens that the weather/culture/location/geography etc. in Australia is better for the things you enjoy doing then you'll be happier there but for us the weather/culture etc. of the UK is better for the things we like doing.

 

Sorry, you are right, I misread because it was only about work and doing household stuff and not hobbies my bad.

 

When we got back home and saw everything was the same it only made clear for me how much I changed. Nothing judgemental there, I am glad I did and I am glad everyone back home is doing what made and makes them happy.

 

p.s. If you do somethi 'new' every day, doesn't that get old in a way?

[paul1977]

I think you are missing the point - it is not what you do in Australia is the same as what you do in NL/UK - it is that in Australia you do the same things over and over which is exactly what you say - 'at the beach or with the horses 3-4 days a week' exactly the same as people in the UK do the same things over and over again. It's not that the things that you do are the same it's the fact that life (for most of us) doesn't have much variety - I would rather poke myself in the eye with a stick than go to the beach 3-4 times a week, we all like different things and when we find the things we like we keep doing them

 

If it happens that the weather/culture/location/geography etc. in Australia is better for the things you enjoy doing then you'll be happier there but for us the weather/culture etc. of the UK is better for the things we like doing.

Your the first person to understand what I mean. Other people can't see it