3 months in and starting to feel homesick

[starlight7]

It is very difficult for people to settle on the Gold Coast and this over the years has been very clear. It used to be the older people who went up there chasing sunshine and they found a lonely life and not a great deal of social interaction. You are not the first and won't be the last to have homesick problems there. it is a holiday place and you are surrounded by holiday makers who have no interest in forming friendships or being part of the community. Not to say there is no community there but it is probably of a magnitude harder to find it than in other areas. Some friends of ours retired there and it took a few years for them to really feel at home ( and they are Aussies). What cracked it for them was that the wife found a part time job where she really liked the other staff and so they started going out with these new friends at weekends. Good luck to you- was thinking you might be better off in Brissie though.

[Paul1Perth]

Does sound a bit like whinging to be honest.

 

It costs $0.02 for a 10 minute call back to the UK, or nothing to Skype. You can jump on a plane for $1700 and be back in the UK in 24 hours.

 

We've all had a guilt trip along the way about leaving people behind, but you get over it.

 

$1700 is a lot of money and then there's the family too. Took us 10 years before we went back, couldn't afford it really, even then.

[Que Sera Sera]

I can hand on heart say I've never felt homesick, mainly I reckon because I'm home. Your post says 3 months is a long time to be away from "home" that's where your mindset is. As others have said I bet the majority of homesickness is people sickness, rather than anything else.

[Eng32]

:hug: The first six months is the hardest, I found not thinking it was a 'forever thing' and just kept thinking that we're living here at the moment and are going to get on with it, nothing has to be forever, try to have a great couple of years exploring and just living the life in Australia for what it is, after a while you may just relax and before you know it things might have fallen into place a little more. Go back in a few years if you still feel the same then, but for now live for the moments . The bad days will get better and fewer between.

 

Good or luck to you all x

[wattsy1982]

Despite what others on here may think I do refer to the UK as home...I lived there for 30 years, Ive been here 3 months....ive been on holiday for longer than this and didnt call that home either!

 

I know I am saying/feeling this after a very short time so not going to make any big decisions....just saying.

 

I am basing our old life in the UK to the life/jobs we MIGHT have here....but I have nothing else to base on.

 

I would need to earn $100k + a year to live the equivalent life here...but I hope I can score that big paid job!

 

Simple things like when we went shopping in the UK we didnt look at the prices of the food, if we wanted it we got it...if you cant have a bit of nice food for working a full week then whats the world coming to! Also, we never counted the days to payday....something we will do here IF and i say IF we cant get well paid jobs.

 

Anyway, enough of this.

 

Dan

[Petkula73]

I can hand on heart say I've never felt homesick, mainly I reckon because I'm home. Your post says 3 months is a long time to be away from "home" that's where your mindset is. As others have said I bet the majority of homesickness is people sickness, rather than anything else.

 

Agree 100% and with the post about a having a trip back to the UK helping understand where "home" is. I definitely feel now that I go on a trip to the UK and return home to Australia, not the other way round.

 

Ultimately though, you need to be a bit selfish. It's never easy to leave family and friends, but when we made our decision we had a frank conversation with our families about what was right for us, right for our daughter's future and what it was we wanted. People understand.

[jonathancowen]

Hi Dan,

First off I must say I know how you feel, Oz isn't, in my opinion, that wonderful and I also believe that we left far more behind than we have/probably will gain. I've been here 2years 7 months and 8 days and I have realised that you just have to make the best of it. Yes the surf in UK is better, the driving is faster/better/easier, the people (where I lived) where generally friendlier and jobs were available, but here we are. So long as you can handle the heat and humidity (I can't) or are happy spending lots of time indoors under AC (I'm not) and are prepared to get any job you can reguardless of your previous expierence, you will eventually get along.

 

However, I did laugh when you said, Air your feelings to non bias people! If you haven't already had people explaining to you how you're "wrong about how you feel" etc then you will. When this happens you can either reply with reason and reexpress your right to ask for a little emotional support until you eventually get so annoyed with them that you think about tracking them down, or just ignore them!

 

In the mean time, I hope the job situation etc gets sorted and my advise is to find a few new things to do. I used to surf alot back home in nice big clean waves with only a few people out, happy days, and mtn bike lots as I lived in a forest, but now I still surf but its not wuite the same. I have however started fishing and spear fishing and am looking at buying a boat now, its helped me.

 

Good luck, and if you ever want to moan, rejoyce or just say how you're feeling without being critisised then feel free to PM me.

 

Till then J

 

Hi all,

 

As the thunder rumbles and the rain falls here on the Gold Coast I am thinking more and more of home (UK)

 

We (myself, wife and 2 small boys) have been here for 3 months now. IMO 3 months is a long time to be away from home and not see family BUT then in the grand scale of time needed to settle here it is a drop in the ocean.

 

I'm sure i'm not the first person feel like this and I wont be the last, just thought i'd share it on here with non bias people and get others current/past feelings and experiences.

 

My wife has almost secured a job as a midwife so that will be good when she starts but right now Im thinking we have left behind way more than we have gained....still, early days I know.

 

My wife and 2 boys love it and I do too, but its not grabbed me how I thought it would from the off. Yes I love the weather, BBQs, beaches etc but it has taken coming here for me to realise that these are material things and family and good (and I mean good long term) friends are priceless.

 

I thought all this through before we came but I guess thinking about being away when you are at home is much different from actually doing it.

 

I don't want to be a 'whinging pom' and I know I am lucky to have PR from the off as I have read others posts on here who are struggling and some being refused visas.

 

I have touched on this with my wife but she just thinks i'm saying i want to go home and that i've already made my mind up....and when when I speak to people at home they say "yeah come back, we all miss you"...hence my post here.

 

I don't expect a resolution from it but it feels good to just write what i'm feeling.

 

Anyway, I wont ramble on anymore, if anyone has anything to add then go for it!

 

Thanks

 

Dan

[wattsy1982]

Hi Dan,

First off I must say I know how you feel, Oz isn't, in my opinion, that wonderful and I also believe that we left far more behind than we have/probably will gain. I've been here 2years 7 months and 8 days and I have realised that you just have to make the best of it. Yes the surf in UK is better, the driving is faster/better/easier, the people (where I lived) where generally friendlier and jobs were available, but here we are. So long as you can handle the heat and humidity (I can't) or are happy spending lots of time indoors under AC (I'm not) and are prepared to get any job you can reguardless of your previous expierence, you will eventually get along.

 

However, I did laugh when you said, Air your feelings to non bias people! If you haven't already had people explaining to you how you're "wrong about how you feel" etc then you will. When this happens you can either reply with reason and reexpress your right to ask for a little emotional support until you eventually get so annoyed with them that you think about tracking them down, or just ignore them!

 

In the mean time, I hope the job situation etc gets sorted and my advise is to find a few new things to do. I used to surf alot back home in nice big clean waves with only a few people out, happy days, and mtn bike lots as I lived in a forest, but now I still surf but its not wuite the same. I have however started fishing and spear fishing and am looking at buying a boat now, its helped me.

 

Good luck, and if you ever want to moan, rejoyce or just say how you're feeling without being critisised then feel free to PM me.

 

Till then J

 

Hi Jonathan,

 

Thanks for the reply.

 

I never realised until I posted this how MY feelings are wrong!

 

If we all loved OZ or the UK then no one would emigrate, making this forum redundant.

 

I loved fishing in the UK, freshwater fishing, in old lakes and ponds, and just being there was enough.....at least thats what I would tell myself when I didn't catch anything!

 

I've tried fishing here in the sea, creeks and canals and its not the same, not in the slightest.

 

Im not going to be one of these resentful people about how good the UK is cos we chose to come here, no one made us.

 

On the other hand, since being here I have taken up golf, embracing the weather n all that and I really enjoy it.

 

I also play football (soccer) and after playing a few games here the standard (that I have experienced) is awful....to the point where I cant be bothered to play. I knew that football wasn't big here before we left so cant go on about it.

 

After only 3 months here I have concluded that you could have a great life here, a really good life BUT it comes at a huge cost and its easier/cheaper to have a good life in the UK....but i'm a stubborn englishman and we don't quit...ask the germans!

 

So whats your plan then Jonathan? go home or stay in AUS? Where do you live?

 

Dan

[Gbye grey sky]

Paul,

 

I am still working remotely for my old UK company but Im trying to work it so my hours are early and late so I get time in the day off to go out and about.

 

Like i say, I miss family more for my kids sake....yes I know they wont know any different (as my wife tells me) but does that make it ok to grow up without any family...and I know what they are missing out on.....hmm tough one.

 

My job now is going to be tough to replace as I worked from home in the UK (for a London based company) so got a london wage (but lived in the country) got to see my boys all day, taking them to nursery, having lunch etc. Plus I worked my way up in the company, only having experience, not any specific qualifications which most jobs seem to ask for here.

 

My wage in the UK used to pay for everything and my wifes was our spending money, unfortunately not the case here I feel due to the high cost of living.

 

This said, it was never going to be a financial move for us.

 

Dan

 

Working from home won't be helping. I work from home. It has great benefits but also quite isolating. More so for you because you are speaking to and dealing with UK colleagues and clients still. Sounds like you gave up a lot too. I hope it all works out for you.

 

As another poster has said target citizenship (4 years) as that will give all you options to live in either place later in life. A lot of people seem to return but feel the pull of Oz but cannot return as they no longer qualify.

[Skani]

Wattsy.....I've been on PIO for nearly 4 years and I can't begin to count the number of "3 month wobbles" posts I've seen.

It's a very normal process where the initial adrenalin rush of the move wears off, the reality of day to day living sets in....and yet everything is still so new and strange that nothing yet feels comfortable and familiar.

 

The place you're at right now is probably the most difficult stage of the migration journey.

 

FWIW I grew up in Oz without ever meeting or speaking to my English grandparents...in the "olden days" when international phone calls were beyond the reach of ordinary folk. As were overseas trips. I think it took my English mother 25 years before she could afford to go home for a holiday...and we couldn't afford for the rest of us to go with her.

 

So, on the positive side, accessibility of all sorts is a breeze now.

[wattsy1982]

Working from home won't be helping. I work from home. It has great benefits but also quite isolating. More so for you because you are speaking to and dealing with UK colleagues and clients still. Sounds like you gave up a lot too. I hope it all works out for you.

 

As another poster has said target citizenship (4 years) as that will give all you options to live in either place later in life. A lot of people seem to return but feel the pull of Oz but cannot return as they no longer qualify.

 

At present its a case of working from home or not working at all. Im on a monthly rolling contract.

 

I deal with american clients so not that much of an issue.

 

Dan

[Quoll]

Your feelings are your feelings mate, nothing wrong with them in the least! I reckon you know if a place is for you or not and there is often no logic or rationale behind that at all. If Australia doesn't float your boat that's perfectly OK. It works for some folk forever and it works for some folk for some time then they decide they need to move on and for some folk it never works at all.

 

Little kids aren't going to know what they are missing to be sure (Skype is worse than useless IMHO - you can't cuddle a grand kid and reading them books on a flakey Skype connection is the pits!) but, I did have quite a pang when my now adult sons expressed their regrets (both of them, independently) at the isolation of our little family when both saw the difference with their partners' life experiences! It's turned them into incredibly self sufficient young men but, I regret, perhaps somewhat too selfish for my liking and I admit to a significant degree of selfishness myself which is probably what made me a "successful" migrant.

 

I was perfectly happy in Aus for the first 10 years, heads down bum up for the next 10 and stir crazy with situational depression at being trapped there for the last 12. As long as it was an adventure it was fine but when it became a jail it was not. Enjoy your adventure I reckon but plan in review dates where you sit down and really nut out if this is floating your boat. If it is then set another review date and if it isn't then make plans to move on. I do caution against going with the flow - sure it's easiest but you can find yourself drifting past the point of no return and suddenly discover you are trapped and realize that it isn't where you want to grow old and die.

 

Enjoy the the adventure for the now and don't think about it until your Review Date!

[wattsy1982]

Your feelings are your feelings mate, nothing wrong with them in the least! I reckon you know if a place is for you or not and there is often no logic or rationale behind that at all. If Australia doesn't float your boat that's perfectly OK. It works for some folk forever and it works for some folk for some time then they decide they need to move on and for some folk it never works at all.

 

Little kids aren't going to know what they are missing to be sure (Skype is worse than useless IMHO - you can't cuddle a grand kid and reading them books on a flakey Skype connection is the pits!) but, I did have quite a pang when my now adult sons expressed their regrets (both of them, independently) at the isolation of our little family when both saw the difference with their partners' life experiences! It's turned them into incredibly self sufficient young men but, I regret, perhaps somewhat too selfish for my liking and I admit to a significant degree of selfishness myself which is probably what made me a "successful" migrant.

 

I was perfectly happy in Aus for the first 10 years, heads down bum up for the next 10 and stir crazy with situational depression at being trapped there for the last 12. As long as it was an adventure it was fine but when it became a jail it was not. Enjoy your adventure I reckon but plan in review dates where you sit down and really nut out if this is floating your boat. If it is then set another review date and if it isn't then make plans to move on. I do caution against going with the flow - sure it's easiest but you can find yourself drifting past the point of no return and suddenly discover you are trapped and realize that it isn't where you want to grow old and die.

 

Enjoy the the adventure for the now and don't think about it until your Review Date!

 

Quoll,

 

Most sense and honesty spoken on here to date, and not just because its similar to mine.

 

I notice you are/were from cambridge, Im from Bury st edmunds......lovely part of the country....infact, maybe what makes it hard to settle cos its so nice there!

 

So are you back in the UK now? with all you family?

 

Dan

[VERYSTORMY]

I think nearly everyone goes through some degree of homesickness. Its natural.

 

Some will go though it and find this becomes home. Others dont and the longing to be back home just stays or even gets worse. Only time will tell.

 

I think your plan of reviewing it in a couple of years is a good idea. That should be enough time to decide if you truly want to stay in Oz or not.

[Guest Ptp113]

Hi Jonathan,

 

Thanks for the reply.

 

I never realised until I posted this how MY feelings are wrong!

 

If we all loved OZ or the UK then no one would emigrate, making this forum redundant.

 

I loved fishing in the UK, freshwater fishing, in old lakes and ponds, and just being there was enough.....at least thats what I would tell myself when I didn't catch anything!

 

I've tried fishing here in the sea, creeks and canals and its not the same, not in the slightest.

 

Im not going to be one of these resentful people about how good the UK is cos we chose to come here, no one made us.

 

On the other hand, since being here I have taken up golf, embracing the weather n all that and I really enjoy it.

 

I also play football (soccer) and after playing a few games here the standard (that I have experienced) is awful....to the point where I cant be bothered to play. I knew that football wasn't big here before we left so cant go on about it.

 

After only 3 months here I have concluded that you could have a great life here, a really good life BUT it comes at a huge cost and its easier/cheaper to have a good life in the UK....but i'm a stubborn englishman and we don't quit...ask the germans!

 

So whats your plan then Jonathan? go home or stay in AUS? Where do you live?

 

Dan

 

Of course the fishing is different. If you wanted the same why did you leave Blighty in the first place? You live in the 'Blighty bubble' and you'll never escape it.

[flag of convenience]

If it helps you to "share" then it's a good thing for you.

 

Stiff upper lip though, old boy. You're hardly that isolated in 2013.

 

Best put the stiff upper lip back in the box it belongs. Far more beneficial folk express what's on their minds than to bottle up emotions.

[Petkula73]

Best put the stiff upper lip back in the box it belongs. Far more beneficial folk express what's on their minds than to bottle up emotions.

 

Try living with my wife...(!)

[kissofthegypsy]

Wattsy, I live in Oxenford, been here 4 years from just outside Birmingham, emigrated with my partner of 7 years, diagnosed with a chronic illness, she cheated on me, kicked her to the kerb (we had PR :-)), married a beautiful Tasmanian, have two Labradors, 3 cats and 2 fish, play golf every weekend and take it for what it is. Its not a country full of what us Poms might call hundreds of years of culture, it is a new country, that said, and the fact that we are known as Whinging Poms, there is a banter which I love with the Aussies, especially when do **** at the Olympics, they are crap at soccer and also at the moment shocking at cricket (so all is good on the sporting front).

 

Now back to your starting post, its a mahoosive leap, you know it, we all do. My mom said to me, don't you dare come back until you have given it at least 6 months. Its wasn't like the end of Wanted Down Under where the families said, don't go, come back, at time I found that a little selfish, although it could have been the editing. My mates said I would be back in 2 months, one of my mates, went back before his container arrived lol. But its not for everyone, you have to give it a go and see how you feel. Family are a massive pull and Skype is a help, its not the same as grabbing a beer with you mates, and drinking wine at 8am when you talk to your sister, has to be slowly coerced into any relationship haha.

 

You have taken up Golf, awesome, embrace whats available, I play like I have just taken it up and am a member at Gainsborough Greens, its a great club and costs about 800 a year to join. Great place to meet nice people too.

 

When I arrived I didn't want to move to a mini-England and be surrounded by countless poms, otherwise I would have stayed where I was. I wanted to see what was to offer and yes, its a big adjustment on some counts, little things like a small shop in Woolies always costs 250 bucks, everything that bites hurts (including the ex lol), sport - whenever we lost against the aussies they love it, but they are the worst winners I have also ever known - great banter tho, its costs a lot to live here - no doubt you need to earn the coin to have a good life but people do perfectly fine on lowish wages - people would rather be here in this climate on the same money than be on it in the UK.

 

PM me mate and I will add you to my Facebook and you can take a look at the pics and stuff and you are more than welcome to pop round for a beer and a chat. You cant go back yet, not until we have won the ashes :-)

[Guest Ptp113]

Wattsy, I live in Oxenford, been here 4 years from just outside Birmingham, emigrated with my partner of 7 years, diagnosed with a chronic illness, she cheated on me, kicked her to the kerb (we had PR :-)), married a beautiful Tasmanian, have two Labradors, 3 cats and 2 fish, play golf every weekend and take it for what it is. Its not a country full of what us Poms might call hundreds of years of culture, it is a new country, that said, and the fact that we are known as Whinging Poms, there is a banter which I love with the Aussies, especially when do **** at the Olympics, they are crap at soccer and also at the moment shocking at cricket (so all is good on the sporting front).

 

Now back to your starting post, its a mahoosive leap, you know it, we all do. My mom said to me, don't you dare come back until you have given it at least 6 months. Its wasn't like the end of Wanted Down Under where the families said, don't go, come back, at time I found that a little selfish, although it could have been the editing. My mates said I would be back in 2 months, one of my mates, went back before his container arrived lol. But its not for everyone, you have to give it a go and see how you feel. Family are a massive pull and Skype is a help, its not the same as grabbing a beer with you mates, and drinking wine at 8am when you talk to your sister, has to be slowly coerced into any relationship haha.

 

You have taken up Golf, awesome, embrace whats available, I play like I have just taken it up and am a member at Gainsborough Greens, its a great club and costs about 800 a year to join. Great place to meet nice people too.

 

When I arrived I didn't want to move to a mini-England and be surrounded by countless poms, otherwise I would have stayed where I was. I wanted to see what was to offer and yes, its a big adjustment on some counts, little things like a small shop in Woolies always costs 250 bucks, everything that bites hurts (including the ex lol), sport - whenever we lost against the aussies they love it, but they are the worst winners I have also ever known - great banter tho, its costs a lot to live here - no doubt you need to earn the coin to have a good life but people do perfectly fine on lowish wages - people would rather be here in this climate on the same money than be on it in the UK.

 

PM me mate and I will add you to my Facebook and you can take a look at the pics and stuff and you are more than welcome to pop round for a beer and a chat. You cant go back yet, not until we have won the ashes :-)

 

Thank god we are crap at soccer (Girlie Ball), and hopefully we will remain that way!

[wattsy1982]

Wattsy, I live in Oxenford, been here 4 years from just outside Birmingham, emigrated with my partner of 7 years, diagnosed with a chronic illness, she cheated on me, kicked her to the kerb (we had PR :-)), married a beautiful Tasmanian, have two Labradors, 3 cats and 2 fish, play golf every weekend and take it for what it is. Its not a country full of what us Poms might call hundreds of years of culture, it is a new country, that said, and the fact that we are known as Whinging Poms, there is a banter which I love with the Aussies, especially when do **** at the Olympics, they are crap at soccer and also at the moment shocking at cricket (so all is good on the sporting front).

 

Now back to your starting post, its a mahoosive leap, you know it, we all do. My mom said to me, don't you dare come back until you have given it at least 6 months. Its wasn't like the end of Wanted Down Under where the families said, don't go, come back, at time I found that a little selfish, although it could have been the editing. My mates said I would be back in 2 months, one of my mates, went back before his container arrived lol. But its not for everyone, you have to give it a go and see how you feel. Family are a massive pull and Skype is a help, its not the same as grabbing a beer with you mates, and drinking wine at 8am when you talk to your sister, has to be slowly coerced into any relationship haha.

 

You have taken up Golf, awesome, embrace whats available, I play like I have just taken it up and am a member at Gainsborough Greens, its a great club and costs about 800 a year to join. Great place to meet nice people too.

 

When I arrived I didn't want to move to a mini-England and be surrounded by countless poms, otherwise I would have stayed where I was. I wanted to see what was to offer and yes, its a big adjustment on some counts, little things like a small shop in Woolies always costs 250 bucks, everything that bites hurts (including the ex lol), sport - whenever we lost against the aussies they love it, but they are the worst winners I have also ever known - great banter tho, its costs a lot to live here - no doubt you need to earn the coin to have a good life but people do perfectly fine on lowish wages - people would rather be here in this climate on the same money than be on it in the UK.

 

PM me mate and I will add you to my Facebook and you can take a look at the pics and stuff and you are more than welcome to pop round for a beer and a chat. You cant go back yet, not until we have won the ashes :-)

 

Not going back yet, far from it! Just airing my thoughts!

[jonathancowen]

Hi Buddy,

 

Well my Wife's parents live here and she feels like this is home, she moved here when she was 10, so I guess we'll be staying :-(

 

We're thinking of moving to Tasmania, its the opne place I really like here, its quietly got everything Australia loudly claims have, clear ocean, empty waves, fish gallour, fantastic hikes and camping etc. And it even has SEASONs!!!!!

So at the moment it's a case of soldier one until one of us finds a decent job there then move ASAP.

 

We currently live on the Sunshine Coast, although torrential rain coast would be more apt given my expeirence here, in a place called Buderim. It was described as aquaint little historical village on the mountain, but its more like a suburb of Caloundra as there isn't a break in houses etc anywhere between the two, and the only historic thing here is a retaining wall thats 100 years old! When people come to our house it takes them ages to make it through as they are allways captivated by our 'antiques' what about yourself, where have you landed?

Hi Jonathan,

 

Thanks for the reply.

 

I never realised until I posted this how MY feelings are wrong!

 

If we all loved OZ or the UK then no one would emigrate, making this forum redundant.

 

I loved fishing in the UK, freshwater fishing, in old lakes and ponds, and just being there was enough.....at least thats what I would tell myself when I didn't catch anything!

 

I've tried fishing here in the sea, creeks and canals and its not the same, not in the slightest.

 

Im not going to be one of these resentful people about how good the UK is cos we chose to come here, no one made us.

 

On the other hand, since being here I have taken up golf, embracing the weather n all that and I really enjoy it.

 

I also play football (soccer) and after playing a few games here the standard (that I have experienced) is awful....to the point where I cant be bothered to play. I knew that football wasn't big here before we left so cant go on about it.

 

After only 3 months here I have concluded that you could have a great life here, a really good life BUT it comes at a huge cost and its easier/cheaper to have a good life in the UK....but i'm a stubborn englishman and we don't quit...ask the germans!

 

So whats your plan then Jonathan? go home or stay in AUS? Where do you live?

 

Dan

[wattsy1982]

Hi Buddy,

 

Well my Wife's parents live here and she feels like this is home, she moved here when she was 10, so I guess we'll be staying :-(

 

We're thinking of moving to Tasmania, its the opne place I really like here, its quietly got everything Australia loudly claims have, clear ocean, empty waves, fish gallour, fantastic hikes and camping etc. And it even has SEASONs!!!!!

So at the moment it's a case of soldier one until one of us finds a decent job there then move ASAP.

 

We currently live on the Sunshine Coast, although torrential rain coast would be more apt given my expeirence here, in a place called Buderim. It was described as aquaint little historical village on the mountain, but its more like a suburb of Caloundra as there isn't a break in houses etc anywhere between the two, and the only historic thing here is a retaining wall thats 100 years old! When people come to our house it takes them ages to make it through as they are allways captivated by our 'antiques' what about yourself, where have you landed?

 

We are on the gold coast, Varsity Lakes to be more precise.

 

Great schooling and a 'family feel' but only 10mins on a push bike from the beaches.

 

Just need 'the job' then it will be fine im sure!

[caramac]

I think what you're feeling is normal. At least, it's how I felt and I think I'm fairly normal!

We arrived in Perth several years ago, in winter, with three under 5s. I found it really tough. My oh was at work and I was at home with the children feeling very isolated. Our eldest started pre primary in the September, but despite my best efforts at chatting to people they weren't interested in talking to me. That first long summer school holiday was SO hard. I wasn't unhappy, but I missed my friends who I could just call and say 'the kids are driving me mad. Fancy a walk/coffee/lunch'. I could see how lovely Perth was and felt lucky to have the opportunity to live there. I knew making friends would take time, but I also felt that however lovely it was, it wouldn't be forever.

I took the girls back to the UK for eight weeks from mid August to mid Oct and the eldest joined her old friend at her primary school for a few weeks and the middle one went back to her nursery. They(and I) had a great time. At that point I could quite easily have stayed.

It was funny, I went back to Perth and immediately felt more settled. I don't know why. Maybe I found I had more friends than I'd thought. I certainly seemed to have developed a social life without really noticing!

We went back to the UK again 18 months later and I found that, although I had a really good time, Perth felt like home.

Ironically a few months later an opportunity came up for my oh back in the UK, so we moved back. That really did take a lot of getting used to!

Good luck. Give it time, you will make friends and you may get used to the different work. You can't force anything - it just takes time and it's tough to go through.

One piece of advice a friend of mine gave me once was really useful - say yes to every invitation, even if you think it won't be your thing. You may surprise yourself and find a new hobby, if not a new friend!

[Quoll]

Quoll,

 

Most sense and honesty spoken on here to date, and not just because its similar to mine.

 

I notice you are/were from cambridge, Im from Bury st edmunds......lovely part of the country....infact, maybe what makes it hard to settle cos its so nice there!

 

So are you back in the UK now? with all you family?

 

Dan

 

The DH and I are here living with the aged parents until they no longer need us. One son came back to UK for a post uni gap year - 11 years ago - and now has a house in London and a British wife. The other son and granddaughters are in Aus (his wife will never leave her mother!). My daughter in law is the only one who plays the guilt card and pointing out how the granddaughters are missing out on us!

 

Bury is nice - very nice! (And it has a nice wool shop too!) my dad loves the market and he potters over quite often. I keep intending to visit the archives for family history but somehow never seem to get round to it!

 

Youll be be fine I'm sure. Nothing has to be forever!

[Team Edwards]

Actually feeling quite normal after reading these posts! Thanks Dan! I have been here 12 weeks also and feeling really homesick at the mo! I am confident I will get through it as I never expected it to be easy, but on the same note I didn't expect to feel so homesick after just 3 months!

 

As for the Skype thing, my sister said to me a few weeks ago 'the next person that says to me that the world is a smaller place because of Skype, I've promised myself a f*****g punch in the face'! Quite funny at the time because my sister NEVER swears, she is very placid but she felt very strongly that day because the Skype connection was rubbish and had been for a good 6 weeks! It's just not the same but I would be lost without it! After that I got broadband installed (cher ching!) but worth every penny!