Kapri Posted January 14, 2013 Share Posted January 14, 2013 Now listen I am absolutely no advocate of any type of violence to any child but as a parent especially of teenagers I do find the " there are far better ways of parenting" brigade a tad irksome . You do find your hands tied sometimes by degree waving , positive parenting do gooders, sticking their noses in, often they have never had kids and have never looked after one on a day to day basis .i just try not to judge because let's face it being a parent ain't easy and let's face it your damned if you chastise and damned if you don't . What about the rise in teenage anti social behaviour, to me it all feels like its going wrong somewhere with this so called positive parenting. IMO this is a very misguided post. The rise in anti social behaviour is most likely due to LACK of parenting not positive parenting!We are not talking about letting them do what they want! How is hitting someone teaching them good values? I teach Incredible Years to parents of children with behavioural problems. I'm not a "do-gooder" and I have 3 children. A step-daughter in her 20's who is living a productive life, a daughter of nearly 13 who is in the top set at school and a very mischievous 10 year old boy. My 10 year old tries my patience like you wouldn't believe sometimes! But I don't think hitting him is the answer. He gets rewarded for good behaviour and loses privileges for naughty behaviour. No child is going to behave well all the time. Parents who hit children are generally out of control and / or do not know how to achieve the behaviour they want through more effective means. As I have said previously, nobody's perfect, we all get it wrong sometimes and sometimes tempers get frayed. That's not the same as deliberately choosing to use aggression as a form of control. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jacaranda Posted January 14, 2013 Share Posted January 14, 2013 I've only ever smacked one of my children once when I got out of the shower one day having left her watching TV (she was 4) to find her in the swimming pool, albeit with her life jacket on!! She had pushed her bike over to the gate and stood on the seat to open it. It was frustration and anger and the fear of 'what if' that got her a very sharp smack around her wet thigh!! Using any kind of implement to strike a child is wrong on every level. You should of given yourself a smack NB!You cannot expect a 4 yr old child to be that sensible.Sorry but,well if god forbid your child had drowned,what would it sound like if you said to the authorities "I was taking a shower and told her to watch tv"? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PomPrincesses Posted January 14, 2013 Author Share Posted January 14, 2013 You should of given yourself a smack NB!You cannot expect a 4 yr old child to be that sensible.Sorry but,well if god forbid your child had drowned,what would it sound like if you said to the authorities "I was taking a shower and told her to watch tv"? I know that sounds so ridiculous along with the "they ran out into the road or went to put their fingers in the socket" so you ****ed up and they got a smack to make you feel better. Great. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
northernbird Posted January 14, 2013 Share Posted January 14, 2013 You should of given yourself a smack NB!You cannot expect a 4 yr old child to be that sensible.Sorry but,well if god forbid your child had drowned,what would it sound like if you said to the authorities "I was taking a shower and told her to watch tv"? Well I'm sorry you feel like that. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Que Sera Sera Posted January 14, 2013 Share Posted January 14, 2013 IMO this is a very misguided post. The rise in anti social behaviour is most likely due to LACK of parenting not positive parenting!We are not talking about letting them do what they want! How is hitting someone teaching them good values? I teach Incredible Years to parents of children with behavioural problems. I'm not a "do-gooder" and I have 3 children. A step-daughter in her 20's who is living a productive life, a daughter of nearly 13 who is in the top set at school and a very mischievous 10 year old boy. My 10 year old tries my patience like you wouldn't believe sometimes! But I don't think hitting him is the answer. He gets rewarded for good behaviour and loses privileges for naughty behaviour. No child is going to behave well all the time. Parents who hit children are generally out of control and / or do not know how to achieve the behaviour they want through more effective means. As I have said previously, nobody's perfect, we all get it wrong sometimes and sometimes tempers get frayed. That's not the same as deliberately choosing to use aggression as a form of control. As I said quite clearly I do not advocate violence against children!!!! Did you miss that bit? I too have three well adjusted children 22 18 and 11 ! I have never smacked or slapped them but I am not going to presume to judge someone who has smacked their child!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Que Sera Sera Posted January 14, 2013 Share Posted January 14, 2013 I know that sounds so ridiculous along with the "they ran out into the road or went to put their fingers in the socket" so you ****ed up and they got a smack to make you feel better. Great. Who looks after your child when you are spending hours having your nails done! Hope you don't turn your back on them for a nano second! Imagine how ridiculous that would sound! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
northernbird Posted January 14, 2013 Share Posted January 14, 2013 Who looks after your child when you are spending hours having your nails done! Hope you don't turn your back on them for a nano second! Imagine how ridiculous that would sound! People are entitled to their opinions. No parent is perfect, I don't profess to be. Would it have had a different spin on it if I said I was cleaning my bathroom whilst she was playing in her bedroom?? Do people spend every waking hour in the same room as their 4 year olds. It was interesting viewpoint, which in a debate is just as valid as mine. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kapri Posted January 14, 2013 Share Posted January 14, 2013 As I said quite clearly I do not advocate violence against children!!!! Did you miss that bit? I too have three well adjusted children 22 18 and 11 ! I have never smacked or slapped them but I am not going to presume to judge someone who has smacked their child!!! Did you miss the bit where I said nobody's perfect and we all make mistakes? I wouldn't judge someone who smacked their child in the heat of the moment and regretted it. But I certainly WOULD judge someone who took a wooden spoon to their child. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest The Pom Queen Posted January 14, 2013 Share Posted January 14, 2013 I know that sounds so ridiculous along with the "they ran out into the road or went to put their fingers in the socket" so you ****ed up and they got a smack to make you feel better. Great. Just as ridiculous as someone WITNESSING a 2yr old child being beaten with a wooden spoon and not doing anything about it :eek: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest The Pom Queen Posted January 14, 2013 Share Posted January 14, 2013 Did you miss the bit where I said nobody's perfect and we all make mistakes? I wouldn't judge someone who smacked their child in the heat of the moment and regretted it. But I certainly WOULD judge someone who took a wooden spoon to their child. Maybe have a read at the op's posts and how her story kept changing on this thread it went from she witnessed the crime, it was done in front of others, etc to she didn't see anything and the child was taken to his room. You will NOT find one person who thinks hitting a child like this is acceptable and we are dealing with two Separate issues on this thread, one being the op and whether its just another excuse to have a go at Australia (I have no issues if she hates the place but if she is using this story for her own means then that's sick) and the other is a general consensus on child abuse, which all the members are totally against. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kapri Posted January 14, 2013 Share Posted January 14, 2013 Maybe have a read at the op's posts and how her story kept changing on this thread it went from she witnessed the crime, it was done in front of others, etc to she didn't see anything and the child was taken to his room. You will NOT find one person who thinks hitting a child like this is acceptable and we are dealing with two Separate issues on this thread, one being the op and whether its just another excuse to have a go at Australia (I have no issues if she hates the place but if she is using this story for her own means then that's sick) and the other is a general consensus on child abuse, which all the members are totally against. As I said before, I have no idea about the OP's posting history and I understand now that I may have stumbled into an open can of worms I'm sure hitting a child with a wooden spoon is not acceptable in either the UK or Australia. However, It did appear from some posts that some people weren't that shocked by the use of a wooden implement to chastise a child. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jacaranda Posted January 15, 2013 Share Posted January 15, 2013 Well I'm sorry you feel like that. I'm not!Your child might not have learned from that lesson,but I hope you have. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jacaranda Posted January 15, 2013 Share Posted January 15, 2013 People are entitled to their opinions. No parent is perfect, I don't profess to be. Would it have had a different spin on it if I said I was cleaning my bathroom whilst she was playing in her bedroom?? Do people spend every waking hour in the same room as their 4 year olds. It was interesting viewpoint, which in a debate is just as valid as mine. Sorry but I've heard too many stories of young kids drowning when their parents were "distracted". I always had a shower when my OH was home,and the kids were in bed. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sammy1 Posted January 15, 2013 Share Posted January 15, 2013 I'm not!Your child might not have learned from that lesson,but I hope you have. Oh for crying out loud! Northern Bird took a shower ( which all Mums have to do occasionally) - she wasn't swigging a bottle of vodka whilst watching Jeremy Kyle...... She had a nasty fright, which I am sure made her put more safe guards in place as regards the swimming pool and her four year old's clever climbing skills. You are being incredibly judgmental. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Que Sera Sera Posted January 15, 2013 Share Posted January 15, 2013 Ah Mary Poppins syndrome eh? Some Mums are just Practically perfect in everyway :wink: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Freckleface Posted January 15, 2013 Share Posted January 15, 2013 Ah Mary Poppins syndrome eh? Some Mums are just Practically perfect in everyway :wink: The only problem with living in an ivory tower (apart from the nose bleeds) is that it's a long way to the bottom when the inevitable falls happens. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest The Pom Queen Posted January 15, 2013 Share Posted January 15, 2013 The only problem with living in an ivory tower (apart from the nose bleeds) is that it's a long way to the bottom when the inevitable falls happens. But Mary Poppins can fly :tongue: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Freckleface Posted January 15, 2013 Share Posted January 15, 2013 But Mary Poppins can fly :tongue: Smart ar5e :laugh: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest51810 Posted January 15, 2013 Share Posted January 15, 2013 this thread is the final straw for me not wanting kids lol I'd be rubbish! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest The Pom Queen Posted January 15, 2013 Share Posted January 15, 2013 this thread is the final straw for me not wanting kids lol I'd be rubbish! You would be a great mum. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest30085 Posted January 15, 2013 Share Posted January 15, 2013 this thread is the final straw for me not wanting kids lol I'd be rubbish! You could always get a Nanny . . . :cute: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Freckleface Posted January 15, 2013 Share Posted January 15, 2013 this thread is the final straw for me not wanting kids lol I'd be rubbish! You know Stace when I first had kids I had no idea what I was doing (God knows how they turned out so well) but my Grandmother gave me the best parenting advice a nervous new mother could get. She said that if your baby hasn't turned blue - you are doing OK and if your teenagers aren't lying in the gutter with a needle in their arm you are still doing OK. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest The Pom Queen Posted January 15, 2013 Share Posted January 15, 2013 You could always get a Nanny . . . :cute: :laugh: yes you could but please feed her :wink: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest51810 Posted January 15, 2013 Share Posted January 15, 2013 You could always get a Nanny . . . :cute: on minimum wage!? I'd need over 200k for that lol Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
keily Posted January 15, 2013 Share Posted January 15, 2013 this thread is the final straw for me not wanting kids lol I'd be rubbish! if ur in oz stacey il look after them ...im known as nanny mcphee :jiggy:i would however insist that i could have a slice of toast in the morning ....with maybe some cheesymite on it ....only if u could afford it mind :wink: mrs keily Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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