Katie22

Pros are the guaranteed beautiful blue skies, warmth & sunshine. If you like sports, the beach etc it's just great. Less people can be a big positive, less traffic jams (I live in Adelaide so take that into account), big, wide open spaces. Cons are being away from your family. Can be bearable when everyone's healthy and happy but not so bearable when illness or personal trauma comes along for you and them. You're thousands of miles away and that can be very hard to cope with. You'll be missing the big family get togethers, weddings, Christmas etc and they'll all be having a good time without you so you'll have to just get used to it! The sun can be very damaging too. Great for a 2 week holiday but when you have to live and work in it, the excessive sun takes a toll - too many years here and you'll look like an old leather handbag so keep up the sunscreen! Skin cancers get common as you get older too! I could go on but I think I'll stop!

Been here 12 years and only been back once due to financial and personal reasons. Would have given anything to go back more and really envious of expats who can afford to do so. And get really annoyed with the ones who go back every year or two then come back and whinge about how awful and dull life is there - that says more to me about the expat themselves than anything else :wink:

They do respond via online but just take a while. And also I had to contact them again as the forms they said they sent never arrived so might be easier to phone. I did eventually receive the forms and you have to complete them within 3 months of the date of issue of your application and costs £100. You need several people to sign acknowledging your good character, copy of Australian registration, references etc. Good luck!

I know you can't live your life for other people but unless you have a pretty good guarantee that your dad and brother will be looked after, I really think you will struggle over here if that doesn't happen.

It's a long time ago now but your post just took me back to how emotional and reflective I was when I had my children so I understand exactly how you feel, you miss your family and you're homesick. Feel sad but don't feel guilty. I'm preparing myself for when my kids flee the nest within the next few years and boy is that going to be painful but I dearly want them to go out into the big wide world and do what they want to do, not to feel guilty about leaving me behind! My mum always encouraged us to travel and she did the same when she was young - met my dad on a ship headed for Gibraltar where she was living and he was living in Morocco and they fell in love, very romantic! Maybe have a good heart to heart with your partner, if there's no way he will move then come to some sort of compromise where you can keep having regular trips back or help pay for your mums fare over here - you might be put off the long flights with a baby now! Take care x

My mum died when I was in my 20's and I remember the grief of losing her hit me like a truck again when I had my first child 5 years later - I missed her so much. Having a child yourself makes you see your mum differently so I think what you're feeling is really really normal - it's bringing up memories of your own happy childhood too. Its one of the lousy negatives of emigrating. Take each day at a time, plan for your next catchup, and just keep up the contact, and don't feel bad about feeling sad - normal emotion in the circumstances, and from the sounds of it, I doubt whether your mum would want you to feel guilty at all - am sure she misses you just as much but she wants you to live your own life and to be happy. Maybe talk to her and tell her how you feel. X

I've just read this thread from beginning to end and really feel for you. I understand how hard it must be when every avenue you take, a door gets slammed in your face. And I can't see you managing to save much from $75 a week either! Sounds as if Lady Rainicorn is offering out her hand to help you so good luck! Sure, a lot of us have been through hard times but I know if I reflect on mine I remember some days being harder than others and there seemed no light at the end of the tunnel, but tomorrow's another day so soldier on! Keep strong, look after your health, and keep persevering.

Have a safe trip and wish you the best of luck. I've got a feeling you'll be fine! Pointless exercise in life worrying about what might happen and far more pleasant to dream about what could happen instead. If the pressure of it being a permanent move is taken away then you just go with the flow, if you like it you stay, if you miss Sydney, you eventually go back -with the added bonus of memories of quality time spent with your family - nothing lost and no regrets when you're old and grey. Looking forward to hearing your next instalment!

But you never seem to respond to posts and then further down the line come up with another one liner on the thread saying the same thing. It does sometimes appear that you might be just winding people up but I may be very well wrong and who am I to judge but you're right no problems with venting on here And I do really hope that you can start to get your head around it all and move on.

Organise a trip over, doesn't have to be a long one, maybe even a week or 2. See your kids, talk with your wife, try to sort out how you can move on from here. When you're depressed you become very self absorbed and often don't see what's going on around you too clearly but even if your marriage might not be repairable you still have kids to look after. Wallowing in self pity again and again isn't going to solve anything so have a good cry then pick yourself up and sort yourself out. Even if you stay in Australia you can still have a good relationship with your kids, yearly visits, phone calls, Skype, letters, maintenance etc etc. And did you really have a perfect life before? Probably doubtful or you never would have ever contemplated moving in the first place.

Unless you can pack that case and jump on a flight the day after you make the decision, there will always be complications that will put a spanner in the works but if it's what you all truly want to do then you'll overcome all the obstacles and one day you'll be posting that your flight is booked! Keep up with crossing those to dos off your to do list! Good luck x

If you're single, no kids, financially secure, then theoretically there is nothing stopping you. Sure you will miss your family in Australia but you have to live your life for yourself too. It is a hundred times harder when you've got a partner and/or kids as there's more people to please and more people to pay for. You've got the British citizenship so living and working there is no problem. You don't have to go forever either, try long holiday or just a year or so to start with and you can always come back again! Honestly when I was young and before marriage and kids, whenever I got bored I just moved jobs, moved around UK, or travelled overseas and I have never regretted one moment of it. But then the commitments came and moving obvioulsy so much harder to the point that moving back to UK was unable to happen. What I'm getting at is that you should make the most of your freedom while you have it! Seriously the longer you leave you'll always find an excuse not to do it. Don't miss out on something you may very well regret when you're older and go for it!

Only natural to have cold feet and few doubts but when those thoughts pop up just remind yourself of why you're going back and look forward to that extra support you'll be getting which you've missed! To be honest if you don't go back now those desires to return and those feelings of being unsettled will still crop up every now and then and the longer you leave it the harder it gets as your children get older. If you come back again then you come back again. None of us know what the future will bring! All the best on your return and hope the flight goes ok, not great with little ones but there'll be an end to it .......eventually!

Hypocrisy can work both ways though. There are plenty of Brits that slag off Britain constantly and vow they're never go back but more than happy to keep renewing their British passport and then getting them for their kids and grandkids and because it opens doors when travelling - they do that because they can. I will be completely honest and admit I got my Australian citizenship and passport years ago only because I could, not because I wanted to live here forever. My main reason for citizenship was the right to vote in a country I live permanently in and pay taxes. However if I wasn't allowed dual citizenship then there's no way I would have got it. Be interesting to know how many of us would sacrifice our UK passport for our Australian one? Congratulations on getting your passport Aunt Agatha!

You did go back though and you can't turn back the clock, you just have to deal with the here and now and move on with your life. If your wife doesn't want to return to Australia then that's her decision and her right and her choice too, seems as if she's moving on. So now you're left with what you will do. If you can't bear leaving Australia then find a way of living here but returning regularly to see your children. Keep up with the contact and support. If the thought of being away from them is too painful then swallow your pride and go back but only with a different mindset as if you feel like you do now, sounds as if you'll be just if not more miserable over there. Word of warning though, little kids grow up to be teenagers and adults and they will remember who was there for them and who wasn't when they were growing up.

Stop procrastinating! You're young, free and single, just find a good home for your kitten, go and book the ticket and get on that plane. Don't let fear of change stop you from following your dreams x

I think teenagers can be pretty resilient. Am sure that migration can turn out not so good for some, along with adults too, but if they want to go then where's the problem? I could understand if they were moving to a third world country or a war zone but I don't think Britain's got quite that bad yet! I'm sticking up for the OP here as I know how they feel. It sounds to me as if they've been here long enough to know exactly how they feel about living in Australia and not be labelled backpackers or travellers and I fully understand the need to do something different. It might not work for some who are happy to settle in the same house, town, city, or whatever indefinitely. But at the end of the day we are all different and value different things in life. And sometimes it can be going through the hard times and getting in a rut makes you realise that it's time to do something about it and move on. Once again good luck!

Once you decide to make the move back you will constantly have family, friends, and anyone you meet telling you you're mad for returning! But at the end of the day they are not you, they are on the outside looking in and have no idea (if they don't want to listen that is) how you are feeling and what will make you happy. So if you've made the decision to move then ignore the doubters and start planning your move. It certainly sounds as if the recent years have been difficult for you, maybe that is swaying your decision or maybe that's making you realise that you you've got in a rut and its time to get out of it. I know exactly how you feel as I'm in limbo too, hoping to go end of next year but it's dependent on finances and teenagers, so you feel as if you're neither here nor there. What Aunt Agatha said was pretty sensible with starting to declutter, savings account etc and just sit down with your family and make a list of all the things you need to clear up before you go and make plans to get it all done. Once it's all written down and broken down into tasks, it'll look more manageable and achievable. Good luck!

Some of the happiest people in the world (obviously not affected by war and persecution) are the poorest. I suppose the difference for them is they are not surrounded by constant reminders of people who have more and they derive happiness from their family, friends and just have far less expectation in life I suppose. Unfortunately we're surrounded by people who have more than us and often reckon if we have that we'll be happier. Walk down the street there's a house bigger than yours, there's a car more expensive than yours, your neighbors are always jetting off for holidays here there and everywhere. Open the papers and celebrities with more money than talent are idolized and envied. House prices are dominated by greed here and in UK, sad state of affairs. People are obsessed with how much their house is worth. And if I invite friends round one evening I'm just as happy to entertain them in my small home as its their company I want, nothing else.

Maybe you thought I'd been converted?!

This is hilarious Mary Rose, I read the question wrong and thought it was a one way from UK to Oz so couldn't return to UK!:wacko: Might change my mind now. I think I could cope quite easily not returning to Oz to live permanently but would be unhappy not to return for a holiday as still have family here. Turn it the other way round then there is no way I would have come in the first place.

Wow, big call. I think this would be best answered by new migrants maybe. For me definitely not and if it was a given rule I don't think I would have even have ever contemplated emigrating in the first place. What about you Mary Rose? You say you'd never return to live permanently but would you have taken that one way ticket all those years ago knowing you couldn't go back?

I bet you must feel so relieved now! Six months will probably fly by knowing you're going back and will be busy spent organizing. Good on you for sticking to your guns. Hopefully you might also be able to see Australia in a different light too and actually enjoy that time now the pressure is off. Good luck!

My son has asthma and the care here in Australia has been just the same as the UK though thankfully now he's older it's nearly disappeared. Our GP practice did regular reviews and so from my experience the care was no different and I didn't see any real improvement in his symptoms though his was triggered by colds and allergies to dust, animal hair etc which you still get over here! There is a charge for prescriptions - no free prescriptions for children here I'm afraid so can be costly. Before we came to Australia though my daughter (aged 3 at the time) didn't have asthma but during the first spring here developed hayfever which resulted in several asthma attacks when she needed to be hospitalized so beware of hayfever! Funnily enough my son had bad hayfever in UK but nothing here. Also I remember when we were applying for our visas - we're talking about 12 years ago now though so sure rules etc. have changed - because he had been in hospital with a severe attack we had to get him to see a pediatrician privately to write a medical report.

There's always going to be a small proportion of people who just don't settle here and that's not a failure, it can just be a realisation of what you had before but took for granted. If you take away the pressure of having to make it work then either you will eventually return or you'll become more relaxed and maybe enjoy it more here. If you and your wife are on the same page then it'll all work out! I was married to someone who refused point blank to return and so morally and legally I couldn't take the kids away from him so stuck it out here. Now we're not together it's so liberating being able to do what I want! 12 yrs is a long time to be away but in a way that's good as I'm not returning to my old life but going to start a completely different one. Can't go till end of next year though once daughter finishes school but then I'm on that first plane outta here!