fizzybangs Posted December 22, 2011 Share Posted December 22, 2011 I cannot understand why some people seem to spend hours reading posts about conufused x-pats, many of whom are looking for reassurance that moving back to the UK will be the right thing for them, and then slag them off! What is the point? If you love living in Australia or are an Australian, then what is the point of reading this section? I have to skip through so many abusive comments just to get to any real content that might be useful to me. I love Australia and England. I have lived in both for 31 years. In past years you couldn't have paid me to go back permanently but now my kids are grown and settled I have this irrational (to some) need to return. It could be the 100 odd relatives back there, the sudden realisation when back last year that the 2 year old I last saw is now 6'4' and should make the Olympics in his sport! My kids and I have missed so much and it was a sobering realisation. I have four generations of family there and none but my kids (single) here. I need advice on British pensions etc as I'm on an Invalid Pension at present and do not know where to go for help (Government web site is not helping much). I'm on an Invalid Pension here but hopefully not for much longer. I face an operation in February to repair damage done by surgeon in private hospital here 5 years ago. It has taken countless hospitals and doctors all this time to find out what is wrong! (The specialist has lost his licence). So now I do not know how to sort my financial income when I am well enough to return (later 2012) and the threads on this site are tedious as so filled with criticisms and insults of those wanting to leave Australia. I've been all round over 3 years and Australia is extraordinarily beautiful. Australia has been very good to me on the whole. I never thought I would ever leave and even took a CD back with me 'I call Australia Home' on one trip back so I could listen to it because I didn't really want to go back for that holiday. Those that do criticise should realise that for many of us x-pats it is not a question of Australia versus UK as you cannot possibly compare them. It is your own personal lifestyle and family that we are comparing - not Australia nor it's scenery or people. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Peach Posted December 22, 2011 Share Posted December 22, 2011 I cannot understand why some people seem to spend hours reading posts about conufused x-pats, many of whom are looking for reassurance that moving back to the UK will be the right thing for them, and then slag them off! What is the point? If you love living in Australia or are an Australian, then what is the point of reading this section? I hope your question is rhetorical? It's probably for the same reason that the folk 'Moving back to the UK' don't refrain from posting their opinions in the 'Migration Issues' part of the wesbite.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fizzybangs Posted December 22, 2011 Author Share Posted December 22, 2011 That kind of comment is exactly what I am talking about! I agree with you that people should also not post comments of a derogatory nature on the blogs that don't concern them! If someone asks a question then either refrain from answering at all or offer them examples or advice that are within your realm of experience/knowledge albeit your own personal experiences - they really do help the confused. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest The Pom Queen Posted December 22, 2011 Share Posted December 22, 2011 I do understand where you are coming from and we have tried to stop the Oz v UK debates that were happening, believe it or not the forum is a lot better now than what it was a few months back. I made a sticky in the MBTUK section about respecting members views who weren't happy in Oz. Personally I love the place, I can't ever imagine going back to the UK, but I do respect other members feelings. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
boganbear Posted December 22, 2011 Share Posted December 22, 2011 I think many people come to Australia with preconceived ideas of what it will be like and when things don't turn out the way they expected some people o go back. For others the pull of family, friends and familiar things - countryside, pubs, humour etc is too great. I am sure that everyone who has emigrated to oz has had their doubts from time to time and misses people or things in the UK. I certainly have and I know my mother in law who emigrated over 30 years ago has. However, you have to do what you think is best for you. Some of the reasons I've seen I would consider to be quite trivial and others are not. A lot of people on here talk about living the dream but what does that mean? After a lot of thought over the last 3 years, all I want is to be with my other half, in our own home, to be happy and have a quality of life that suits us both. For us, I think we have a better chance of achieving it in Australia than in the Uk. Australia is like love - Better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all Good luck to everyone going home. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Johndoe Posted December 22, 2011 Share Posted December 22, 2011 I make a point of reading merely to point out that one person's experiences may not neccessarily be that of another person. There was a post only the last week where a prospective migrant clearly stated that she was frightened of coming here because she'd seen so many negative posts on MBTTUK. Her main worry was the expense claimed to be "universal" in Oz and the long working hrs with only 2 weeks leave a year. this is clealry not a true picture for many of us, my wife for example gets 6 weeks paid leave a year as do most nurses with more than 8 yrs service in Qld. So..............it's clear to see (for some of us) why we feel a need to post/question some statements made in the MBTTUK forum. Likewise, in the past high crime levels have been posted as a reason, that also is not the case for many, if not most members. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pintpot Posted December 22, 2011 Share Posted December 22, 2011 That kind of comment is exactly what I am talking about! Why? I can't see what there was to object about, other than someone holding a different view - and surely there's nothing wrong in that Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fizzybangs Posted December 22, 2011 Author Share Posted December 22, 2011 Congratualtions - you are one of the helpful people and we need more people like you on this site. It's the one line insults and other rubbish that annoys, not useful information Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
whichway Posted December 22, 2011 Share Posted December 22, 2011 I cannot understand why some people seem to spend hours reading posts about conufused x-pats, many of whom are looking for reassurance that moving back to the UK will be the right thing for them, and then slag them off! What is the point? If you love living in Australia or are an Australian, then what is the point of reading this section? I have to skip through so many abusive comments just to get to any real content that might be useful to me. I love Australia and England. I have lived in both for 31 years. In past years you couldn't have paid me to go back permanently but now my kids are grown and settled I have this irrational (to some) need to return. It could be the 100 odd relatives back there, the sudden realisation when back last year that the 2 year old I last saw is now 6'4' and should make the Olympics in his sport! My kids and I have missed so much and it was a sobering realisation. I have four generations of family there and none but my kids (single) here. I need advice on British pensions etc as I'm on an Invalid Pension at present and do not know where to go for help (Government web site is not helping much). I'm on an Invalid Pension here but hopefully not for much longer. I face an operation in February to repair damage done by surgeon in private hospital here 5 years ago. It has taken countless hospitals and doctors all this time to find out what is wrong! (The specialist has lost his licence). So now I do not know how to sort my financial income when I am well enough to return (later 2012) and the threads on this site are tedious as so filled with criticisms and insults of those wanting to leave Australia. I've been all round over 3 years and Australia is extraordinarily beautiful. Australia has been very good to me on the whole. I never thought I would ever leave and even took a CD back with me 'I call Australia Home' on one trip back so I could listen to it because I didn't really want to go back for that holiday. Those that do criticise should realise that for many of us x-pats it is not a question of Australia versus UK as you cannot possibly compare them. It is your own personal lifestyle and family that we are comparing - not Australia nor it's scenery or people. Excellent point!! I believe I may have asked (or at least thought) a similar question myself in the past. If you are loving the life in Australia then good on you but there is no need to belittle others who may, for whatever reason want to go home. And yes it is a lot better than it used to be. But, it's like that 17 year old boy who posted (Fair enough it was probably on chewing the fat or something), but some people were really mean, It is annoying and ridiculous. I don't slag people for wanting to live in Australia why should some slag me for wanting to live in the UK. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Johndoe Posted December 22, 2011 Share Posted December 22, 2011 I don't slag people for wanting to live in Australia why should some slag me for wanting to live in the UK. Have they though? I haven't seen any of that since I returned to the forum. It used to happen, but nowhere near as bad as some interpreted it to be.............from both sides of the coin. There always has been the misconception by some, and indeed a relatively "numerous" some, that just because you "defended" Oz, that you had a downer on the UK and also on those returning. Likewise, those returning continually accused or infeered those that like it here as being "uncultured" 'wearing rose-tinted specs" etc. I personally have never knocked the UK, but have come under fire in the vilest manner simply because I take a stance that one person's experience of Oz may not be that of another person............that stance interpreted by some as me being derisory of the UK and those who wish to return. That is not the case. I respect other folks' reasons, particularly the loss of family contact/support. The sooner folk from both "sides of the camp" realise that a love for one country does not neccessarly equate to the hatred of another, the better. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest The Pom Queen Posted December 22, 2011 Share Posted December 22, 2011 What you have to remember though is that those who hate Oz have reasons that you aren't going to agree with, there is no right or wrong but we should allow them to have their say. What I don't like is when someone states their reasons for going home everyone jumps on them and tells them they are wrong, how are they wrong, they know exactly how THEY feel. However saying that I hate it when people make up things to suit their situation this is from both sides of the coin. If people could stick to the facts then it would be a lot more pleasant for everyone Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest17301 Posted December 22, 2011 Share Posted December 22, 2011 I make a point of reading merely to point out that one person's experiences may not neccessarily be that of another person. There was a post only the last week where a prospective migrant clearly stated that she was frightened of coming here because she'd seen so many negative posts on MBTTUK. Her main worry was the expense claimed to be "universal" in Oz and the long working hrs with only 2 weeks leave a year. this is clealry not a true picture for many of us, my wife for example gets 6 weeks paid leave a year as do most nurses with more than 8 yrs service in Qld. So..............it's clear to see (for some of us) why we feel a need to post/question some statements made in the MBTTUK forum. Likewise, in the past high crime levels have been posted as a reason, that also is not the case for many, if not most members. Exactly the reason many of us post in MBTTUK, because we hate to see potential new migrants being put off before the visa app is even in. Its like a research paper...you present the arguments, both sides of the coin, many differing opinions, but hopefully by readers being able to make informed choices they will be best prepared for life in Oz. I too dont see much nastiness or derision going on....if it happens a lot of the time its tongue in cheek. It helps to realsie too that when certain posters old and new make those sorts of comments they are there to get a reaction....the people posting them often don't actually believe what they are posting! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pintpot Posted December 22, 2011 Share Posted December 22, 2011 What you have to remember though is that those who hate Oz have reasons that you aren't going to agree with, there is no right or wrong but we should allow them to have their say. I think people are allowed their say, but it irks me when people want the right to have their opinion, and then get out of their pram when someone else disagrees with it. My M-i-L does it sometimes, she gets all huffy if you disagree with her and starts saying "What, so I'm not allowed an opinion now then, am I?" - she is, but equally I/we are entitled to have a different one and if we feel strongly enough about it, we'll allowed to challenge it. That's what free speech is all about, provided it stays away from personal abuse or harassment. What she means, of course, when she moans she's not allowed to have an opinion, is that not everyone agrees with her. Well, tough. Peoples' opinions are very rarely stated in such a way that's it just about how they feel; they usually couch them in terms that sound like statements of fact, and that's when they get challenged. Example (using Johndoe's one about crime above): If someone says they are going home because "they don't feel safe where they are living, can't realistically move and would prefer to go home where they know they would feel secure" then that is going to be interpreted differently from someone saying they are going home because "crime in xxxxxx is high and we're not safe" I suspect the former type of post would get sympathy more than anything else; the latter will get challenged by those whose experience of place xxxxx differs However saying that I hate it when people make up things to suit their situation this is from both sides of the coin. If people could stick to the facts then it would be a lot more pleasant for everyone I guess. But forums where no debate or challenge is allowed and everyone has to agree all the time or - retch - give "hugz" in response to every misfortune, are dreadfully turgid and dull places, and ultimately no one learns anything from that sort of forum Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paul1Perth Posted December 22, 2011 Share Posted December 22, 2011 Maybe because they are interested in peoples reasons for returning to the UK? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fizzybangs Posted December 22, 2011 Author Share Posted December 22, 2011 When I go back I have no doubt I will be raving about Oz and driving people mad! I have so many photos on my computer that they want to look at and I'll be wandering why I left! We will look at the beautiful scenery and the wonderful towns and outback places I spent time in and then I'll close the computer and look at whichever relative I'm with, give them a hug and know in my heart why I returned to UK. I will miss so much about this extraordinary country though and the people. Australians are generous and caring and hopefully I have learned to be a better person during my 31 years here. I liked a comment on this site about stopping yourself from comparing everything when you go back - just as I did when I originally came out here. My head says stay (much easier to do so, especially financially) but my heart says 'go home' and my heart seems to be reflecting decisions I've made recently. ps It's good that the administrators of this site are gaining in their efforts to clear out those who just want to be miserable grouches (that's putting it nicely). Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
starlight7 Posted December 22, 2011 Share Posted December 22, 2011 I really haven't noticed anyone here being unpleasant- to me it seems a very polite forum. Sometimes people make off-hand remarks as they would in real life but I think really nasty comments are few and far between, thankfully. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pintpot Posted December 22, 2011 Share Posted December 22, 2011 ^Agreed. There are plenty of forums out there that are WAY tougher, especially on newbies Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Petals Posted December 22, 2011 Share Posted December 22, 2011 I do not think anyone sets out to upset people when they post, well not on this forum anyway. Its just that some people seem to be really touchy and its a bit like the paper we agree with some articles and we do not agree with others and we make comments just like happens on on line papers. Because someone does not agree with what is said does not mean they are grouchy or rude or anything they just do not agree. I take the view if the fire gets too hot and I am feeling the heat I head outside. We need life in a forum and not to have to watch our ps and qs we get enough pc from the real world. Just because someone tells me I am silly for doing something or I should do this or that does not mean I will take their advice, I make my own mind up and don't need their agreement. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MARYROSE02 Posted December 22, 2011 Share Posted December 22, 2011 I look at the 'Moving Back to the UK' posts because I have moved back in the past (for twelve years) and then come back to Australia and I'm interested in the subject. The trouble is, I sometimes read derogatory or blatantly un-true statements about Australia and that irritates me. It sometimes seems to me that, if you are going back, or wanting to go back, it gives you 'carte blanche' to be as abusive about Australia as you like. Many other subjects about Australia - the ones on types of visa, Ielts??, Meds??, whatever they are, I have no interest in, no experience with, so I don't read them. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fizzybangs Posted December 22, 2011 Author Share Posted December 22, 2011 12 years back in UK and then back here - that's interesting - can you share why? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
2tigers Posted December 22, 2011 Share Posted December 22, 2011 I do agree, over the last few months it has changed on here for the better, a lot of the times now a mod will step in and either delete or remind people what this forum is for, its much better than it used to be. I used to get frustrated as the comments were rather silly, some used to even come from people who had not even moved to Australia yet, I would read their comments and think how silly, you could end up homesick and need this forum for support yourself...... When people who are in Australia and desperately want to go back home, I totally understand them, I was there for 4yrs and only really enjoyed my last few months as I knew I was going back home. So when people 'call' Australia I feel that their reaction is due to the fact that they had a dream, it took a long time, lots of money and heartache to get to Australia and then when they got there it just wasn't what they were hoping for, its like having your guts ripped out, that empty horrible feeling that the natural reaction for lots is to blame their surroundings for making them feel miserable. For them, these are true feelings and true incidents, its just that some people, probably without realising, make the comment generalised instead of saying "in my opinion" or "In my experience". Just give them a break, when your heart aches from feeling your whole life has been turned upside down due to you following a dream, the last thing you need is to read unhelpful comments. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fish.01 Posted December 22, 2011 Share Posted December 22, 2011 I cannot understand why some people seem to spend hours reading posts about conufused x-pats, many of whom are looking for reassurance that moving back to the UK will be the right thing for them, and then slag them off! What is the point? If you love living in Australia or are an Australian, then what is the point of reading this section?... Your question has confused me right from the opening Title I didn't think there were that many "Aussies (born here)" on the forum? I read the MBTTUK section because I click the New Posts button, I suspect like many, and it lists all new posts - I don't even look what forum they are in. Just scan the topic and read. I find the posts about people going back really interesting sometimes and picture where they are going to and what challenges they may face. You find yourself really hoping some sort things out. On the other hand the types of posts I don't like are the one's where people post obvious non factual misinformation with little regard to the poor potential immigrants pouring over their every word. Fair enough if it is done in a moment of desperation but I find it is often easy to spot the difference between the desperate and the purely selfish returnees who don't mind posting misinformation just to get a rise out of people. I will tend to post the facts as I find them in the latter case because I think it will help new immigrants who are potentially making life changing decisions based on peoples "facts". The trick I find is not to react to those who are simply sad and want to vent...I try not to get involved in that at all and hope those people can find a happy place somewhere else. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest17301 Posted December 22, 2011 Share Posted December 22, 2011 Good post Fish Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
whichway Posted December 22, 2011 Share Posted December 22, 2011 Have they though? I haven't seen any of that since I returned to the forum. It used to happen, but nowhere near as bad as some interpreted it to be.............from both sides of the coin. There always has been the misconception by some, and indeed a relatively "numerous" some, that just because you "defended" Oz, that you had a downer on the UK and also on those returning. Likewise, those returning continually accused or infeered those that like it here as being "uncultured" 'wearing rose-tinted specs" etc. I personally have never knocked the UK, but have come under fire in the vilest manner simply because I take a stance that one person's experience of Oz may not be that of another person............that stance interpreted by some as me being derisory of the UK and those who wish to return. That is not the case. I respect other folks' reasons, particularly the loss of family contact/support. The sooner folk from both "sides of the camp" realise that a love for one country does not neccessarly equate to the hatred of another, the better. As I said it doesn't happen as much as it used to (which is good) but it does happen. And yes, there is no need for those of us going back to bag Australia. But I do feel that sometimes people can be very harsh indeed on those returning to the UK. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest57588 Posted December 28, 2011 Share Posted December 28, 2011 ]Have they though? I haven't seen any of that since I returned to the forum. It used to happen' date=' [b']but nowhere near as bad as some interpreted it to be[/b].............[/i] Well there's the rub (so to speak) isn't it Kev?. Plenty of those who post on this forum are doing it tough in one way or another and take the malicious comments to heart. It's easy to be a smart Alec about someone else's life in order to score a few points but what they're doing in effect is to compound someone elses's misery in some small way, which is pretty low in my view. from both sides of the coin. There always has been the misconception by some, and indeed a relatively "numerous" some, that just because you "defended" Oz, that you had a downer on the UK and also on those returning. Likewise, those returning continually accused or infeered those that like it here as being "uncultured" 'wearing rose-tinted specs" etc. I personally have never knocked the UK You sure about that Kev?. You're certainly not overwhelmingly positive about the place are you?. I can't recall you sharing too many happy stories about your time there. but have come under fire in the vilest manner simply because I take a stance that one person's experience of Oz may not be that of another person............ Or maybe because even casual readers of this forum can pick up on what comes across as your absolute rage when someone doesn't share your views about Australia. that stance interpreted by some as me being derisory of the UK and those who wish to return. That is not the case. I respect other folks' reasons, particularly the loss of family contact/support. The sooner folk from both "sides of the camp" realise that a love for one country does not neccessarly equate to the hatred of another, the better. I couldn't agree more. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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