Lostlily Posted December 21, 2011 Share Posted December 21, 2011 God this is so true! We all get carried away with the idea of a great adventure, better weather, freedom etc but how much long term damage this emigration stuff does to our hearts and those of our loved ones. We tell ourselves that "it doesn't have to be forever and we will regret the opportunity if we don't" but here WE are, living proof of the long term consequences of our actions. I so wish we had stayed in the UK. Thinking back, we ran a full on business which operated for 7 days a week and we were so exhausted with our lives. We almost just moved to another part of the country but funnily enough our kids finally could see that our hearts were not in it and this bloody Aussie thing needed to be seen through so they gave us their blessing. How unselfish they were, particularly as then we pressured them to come out too. I have missed out on many years of friendships and family, so have they. It is true you become an isolated unit here without your extended family. Both of my daughters now have a sadness, one in the UK and one here. It truly is not worth it in my opinion. My parents are sad too. If only.......... The UK is so close to Europe and there are many opportunities for cheap travel which you don't get here. To be honest Perth IS boring, sorry guys. It is such a small city and there is a limit to how many times you can revisit the same places. To be honest I cant be bothered anymore. I am ranting now but while I am at it......bloody bogans huh! they drive me insane, ignorance isn't the word! I sometimes feel as if we are living in the wild west. They are uneducated unworldly and damn boring. They have led their lives in this isolated place and it shows. Some Aussies, particularly in the country have been wonderful and we have made many friends, but their is a limit to conversation because of their unworldliness. They can also be SO RACIST it makes me cringe! How many times I have either laughed out loud or been forced to bite my tongue to keep the peace I cannot begin to say. OK so keep going girl............I have run a business here for some time and we all know the Aussies have a reputation for being "laid back"?? Well in my experience that is another expression for "bone idle"!!! Life is easy here and you really don't have to strain yourself for sure. Perhaps this is an unfair criticism of their characters but why would they, would we if life had been so easy? Many employers love overseas workers including those from the UK as their work ethic is much stronger. I guess you can see that I am feeling pretty disillusioned just now and call me negative if you like, I probably deserve it. The flies urrgh!! The heat! The lack of long summer evenings! Christmas in the sun? The houses which all look the same with no character in the boring dead suburbs URGHH!!! But most of all the loneliness, the longing for your own family and friends who have known you all of your life, that is what kills me :-( Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fizzybangs Posted December 21, 2011 Share Posted December 21, 2011 Are your kids in Australia or with you? Mine are all in their 30's and single and all work horrendous hours and have little time nor energy to get out and meet people! If I had grandchildren in Australia perhaps I would want to stay but my kids can travel and my eldest son will probably follow. My daughter is working in London at the moment and intends returning to europe in a couple of years. One sone I speak to more on the phone than see and I can still phone him! It is only the kids that have stopped me. I have no idea how to tell them! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fizzybangs Posted December 21, 2011 Share Posted December 21, 2011 How weird is this site! I reply to one email and it goes in on someone else's response - sorry Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fizzybangs Posted December 21, 2011 Share Posted December 21, 2011 I replied to you but it went onto someone else's blog called Lostily! I'll try and find it and copy and paste it! Are your kids in Australia or with you? Mine are all in their 30's and single and all work horrendous hours and have little time nor energy to get out and meet people! If I had grandchildren in Australia perhaps I would want to stay but my kids can travel and my eldest son will probably follow. My daughter is working in London at the moment and intends returning to europe in a couple of years. One sone I speak to more on the phone than see and I can still phone him! It is only the kids that have stopped me. I have no idea how to tell them! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fizzybangs Posted December 21, 2011 Share Posted December 21, 2011 Thanks for your response - I've lost it - I cannot get my head around where to find my posts and replies! I wrote to you but it kept going onto someone else's response! Trying again! 'Are your kids in Australia or with you? Mine are all in their 30's and single and all work horrendous hours and have little time nor energy to get out and meet people! If I had grandchildren in Australia perhaps I would want to stay but my kids can travel and my eldest son will probably follow. My daughter is working in London at the moment, will be home to Oz in February and intends returning to Europe in a couple of years for a holiday. One son I speak to more on the phone than see and I can still phone him! It is only the kids that have stopped me. I have no idea how to tell them but cannot hang around watching them live their lives! It's so encouraging to hear from someone who has been here for a similar number of years and has returned and is happy. Keep up the responses to people like me! There are so many that haven't been here for very long yet are considering returning. Most people need to go back once to realise that what they are feeling is home sickness, not an actual dissatisfaction about living here. However, I have been back several times and have been really surprised about how my feelings have changed so much over the more recent years. I guess the 'time is right' to go home. I love that quote from a friend who says 'When the time is right your house will sell' etc. And he's been so right. And when the time is right for us, we will come home to England. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Quoll Posted December 21, 2011 Share Posted December 21, 2011 Hi Fizzybangs - not sure if you were talking to me or not - I have one son with 2 granddaughters in Australia and one son, recently married, in UK - he came for a 'gap year' nearly a decade ago and hasnt bothered to return, he is enjoying his work and has recently bought a house in London. I have managed to separate quite easily from my grandkids but they are having more difficulty without us - the 4 year old can work Skype by herself now LOL. I'm going to be in a pickle either way as the next grandkid is likely to be here in UK I would imagine. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fizzybangs Posted December 22, 2011 Share Posted December 22, 2011 Hi Fizzybangs - not sure if you were talking to me or not - I have one son with 2 granddaughters in Australia and one son, recently married, in UK - he came for a 'gap year' nearly a decade ago and hasnt bothered to return, he is enjoying his work and has recently bought a house in London. I have managed to separate quite easily from my grandkids but they are having more difficulty without us - the 4 year old can work Skype by herself now LOL. I'm going to be in a pickle either way as the next grandkid is likely to be here in UK I would imagine. Hope this works, sort of getting my head around this site and yes, I was replying to your thread! I loved the way you explained that your head called Australia home yet feeling like a tourist - oh how true for me too! One thing interested me - your husband getting leg cramps in Oz but not over there - why? I had cramp again last night. Doesn't make sense to me because your blood thickens in colder climates and thins in hot weather so you'd think you get less cramp with hot weather when the blood is thinner and circulating better! I drink heaps of water so it's not that and come to think of it, I didn't get cramp when back in UK - having been in Tassie for 3 months prior - similar weather in both places the times of year I was in both places. what part of England do you live? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Quoll Posted December 22, 2011 Share Posted December 22, 2011 Hope this works, sort of getting my head around this site and yes, I was replying to your thread! I loved the way you explained that your head called Australia home yet feeling like a tourist - oh how true for me too! One thing interested me - your husband getting leg cramps in Oz but not over there - why? I had cramp again last night. Doesn't make sense to me because your blood thickens in colder climates and thins in hot weather so you'd think you get less cramp with hot weather when the blood is thinner and circulating better! I drink heaps of water so it's not that and come to think of it, I didn't get cramp when back in UK - having been in Tassie for 3 months prior - similar weather in both places the times of year I was in both places. what part of England do you live? I'm now living in a little village just outside Cambridge - I guess I might feel different if I were living in the centre of Bradford but it's great here with so much to do and see within cooee. I have no idea why the cramps have stopped for him - he was almost paranoid about what and when he ate and drank back in Canberra, trying to get them under control. His mum and at least one of his brothers also get cramps at night and sometimes they were so bad he almost screamed with pain - here, not a twinge!!! It might be the magic bullet for me LOL. He's still riding his bike in shorts and yesterday said he should probably have just been in his t shirt as it was too hot cycling home from Cambridge. I think my circulation is better here too - much less fluid retention than in Aus - I can see my ankle bones all the time now (another bonus!) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lostlily Posted December 23, 2011 Share Posted December 23, 2011 I think I may have the answer to the leg cramps mystery............... Years ago, a vet in our village told my husband (who also got leg cramps) that particularly in the summer, it is important to take extra salt in your diet to avoid cramps. Makes sense to me particularly as during hot weather you drink a lot more fluid and your body is depleted of minerals. Anyway it worked for him. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
B1K3R Posted December 23, 2011 Share Posted December 23, 2011 I think you'll know straight away deep in your heart and soul. I would give it eternity, my wife would give it 1 second. I always knew I wanted to live and die there and my wife always knew that OZ is not home for her. But I guess its more complex than that. In reality, we are all different, we all have our journeys in life so one cannot base such a decision on what others do or feel. Cheers B!K3R Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Quoll Posted December 23, 2011 Share Posted December 23, 2011 Yes, tried all that along with the quinine, magnesium, crampeze, bananas and all sorts to no avail! See, a move to the other side of the world cures a lot of ills! It also cured my granddaughters' snuffly noses! We were really concerned about them going on the long haul with the snuffles but as soon as they left Canberra on the plane, their snuffles cleared up and they were healthy as can be for the 2 months they were in UK but as soon as they landed in Canberra they got back to back colds again! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fizzybangs Posted December 23, 2011 Share Posted December 23, 2011 I think I may have the answer to the leg cramps mystery............... Years ago, a vet in our village told my husband (who also got leg cramps) that particularly in the summer, it is important to take extra salt in your diet to avoid cramps. Makes sense to me particularly as during hot weather you drink a lot more fluid and your body is depleted of minerals. Anyway it worked for him. I have heaps of salt and have tried to cut back on water -apparently my blood tests show I am low on saline (that's salt isn't it?) but I cook with it, put it on my food, sometimes eat a tomatoe with salt on it just to get more salt - I crave salt. I know here we are supposed to buy iodised salt because of a lack of iodine in the soil (I do use that salt) but no doctor can find the answer. I also get the swelling ankles etc - hopefully if/when we go back to live both symptoms will disappear as with Quoll! What a wonderful thought! I just have major surgery to get through first in February before we can organise anything but hopefully our house can go on the market and be sold by the end of the year. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MARYROSE02 Posted December 23, 2011 Share Posted December 23, 2011 Maybe the UK is the new Lourdes - but just for Pommie migrants to Australia. Go back to England and all your troubles will disappear? Makes you wonder why they ever left in the first place? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tea4too Posted December 23, 2011 Share Posted December 23, 2011 Maybe the UK is the new Lourdes - but just for Pommie migrants to Australia. Go back to England and all your troubles will disappear? Makes you wonder why they ever left in the first place? It seems reasonable to assume that the posters you (appear to) refer to will have made the decision to move back to the UK because this is where they feel that they need to be, for whatever reason. I doubt many came to the decision lightly, and given the financial and emotional cost involved it’s perhaps not too surprising that some will feel better, both physically and emotionally, when they eventually achieve their goal to return to the UK. Why did they leave in the first place? Check out virtually any thread elsewhere on PIO and you will read a whole variety of reasons for people choosing to up sticks and move to the other side of the world. All of those reasons are valid and are not necessarily mistakes (or ‘wrong’) just because some one chooses to return. I for one am impressed by the courage and strength of character that a lot of returnees demonstrate in their posts. They have turned their lives up side down not once but twice, and deserve to be cut a bit of slack IMHO. :frown: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MARYROSE02 Posted December 23, 2011 Share Posted December 23, 2011 I suppose there could be a 'placebo' effect whereby you 'think' you are going to feel better and you do but my problems were exactly the same whether I was in England or in Australia. Traffic jams are just as unpleasant, financial problems, work problems, health problems, etc. etc. Maybe I am just envious. All I have to do is to pluck up my courage to get on the plane again to Nirvana/Heathrow. Listen to those 'real' birds, not like those nasty Aussie ones, look at those 'real' trees, not like the nasty Aussie ones. I'm not sure whether to envy Aussies or feel sorry for them. They've been born and brought up in the nasty place and have never known anything different. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tea4too Posted December 23, 2011 Share Posted December 23, 2011 'Nasty', 'real', 'unpleasant'? It depends on your point of view, but that’s the point really – everyone is entitled to his or her own opinion. MBTTUK is the one forum on PIO where posters are more likely to suggest that they may prefer life in the UK, and for some reason this seems to invite all manner of criticism. Other posters are rarely asked to justify why they want to leave the UK, but that courtesy does not seem to work both ways. You do not have to agree with the views expressed on MBTTUK and it’s right to challenge things that are factually incorrect but sarcastic retorts about other people’s feelings and opinions, just because you you don’t share them, are unnecessary and unhelpful. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fizzybangs Posted December 24, 2011 Share Posted December 24, 2011 Maybe the UK is the new Lourdes - but just for Pommie migrants to Australia. Go back to England and all your troubles will disappear? Makes you wonder why they ever left in the first place? Well I loved the first two sentences - made me laugh. Didn't like the last sentence quite so much as not sure how to take it! We came out as a family for the sun - yes, the sun - because whatever the standard of living, we would not have gone to a colder climate than Britain - and for a better standard of living. Both we achieved. We feel honoured to have called Australia home for the last 31 years and I am as flummoxed with myself as other people are with others that I want to return! My fear is that although we now seem to 'need' to be with our huge family back there as we have got older (or perhaps it's the fear that they will now start dying off and we will regret not having gone back), will we miss Australia too much as it really IS our true home now. When we came out here I found it very difficult as I had not realised just how different Australia is to Britain and I am still learning the language! I had been here 15 years before I ever heard the term 'sticky beak' for example and only a couple of years ago I learned that what I call 'net curtains' are called 'sheers' here in Queensland but something quite different in Victoria (I've fogotten what my friend there calls them). Likewise Britain has moved on and we will have to start again. Thus like so many others, I am confused with myself, fearful of making a sentimental decision because our hearts tell us to return rather than listen our heads. Selling our home and so many of our belongings and all the stress that goes with the organisational side of returning is the only thing that is holding us back, plus the money we will waste if it turns out to be an irrational decision! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MARYROSE02 Posted December 24, 2011 Share Posted December 24, 2011 Don't 'burn your bridges' if you want to go back. I rented out my flat in Sydney for twelve years whilst I went back to Hampshire for a 'holiday.' I could have sold it before I left but why? Now my house in England (which perhaps I should not have bought) has also been rented out for three years whilst I am in Sydney again. Perhaps, the only real mistake I made was not getting rid of most of my personal effects in England or sending them out here because now my loft if choc-a-bloc and at some time I wll have to do something about them. Go back to the UK and see how you like it but remember it's like emigrating all over again and 'living' there is different to being on holiday there. Rent your home out and put your personal effects into storage 'just in case.' Come to think of it, I went back to England in 1996 for that holiday, got a job, decided to stay in the UK, took three weeks leave to go back to Sydney and clear my flat out, then went to the UK on a one way ticket. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest gill w Posted January 13, 2012 Share Posted January 13, 2012 I've been living in Bunbury for 18 months, couldn't wait to get here - new life, better standard of living, sunshine, better opportunities, England was on it's arse etc etc. I've slowly got to the point where I'm desperately missing home.....I need a nice supermarket, somewhere nice to buy clothes that don't look like they're cheap tack from a market stall, I want a restaurant that isn't serving obscenely priced mediocre food, with staff that look pleased to see you, and with NICE TOILETS!!! I want a reasonably priced bikini wax and hair salon (they all charge much the same price wherever you go). I'm glad for the opportunity to experience this side of the world but apart from the sunshine and less traffic jams I can't say anything else is better or as good - I feel the majority of Australians have never known anything else and so it's just accepted - all I hear is "that's how it is here". I move back to the UK at Easter and I can't wait. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Guest55385 Posted January 13, 2012 Share Posted January 13, 2012 Hi Gill, I'm so sorry it isn't working for you. I am 5 weeks in and slowly starting to come to terms with 'Australia' as it stands. I am very left wing (social worker, sorry) and struggle with the blatant racism, sexism, homophobia and general bigoted nature of white Australians in this area (I'm informed the east coast is much more refined). However unless we stay for a minimum of 2 yrs we have to pay back our relocation package of $16k!!! We can't afford that so we're here for a bit yet - and I'm coming to terms with this and trying to settle in as best I can. Many ppl have told me not to go back for 2 yrs, to give it time, but I am not going to follow that advice. I am going back (for a holiday) in August and believe me the shopping list started the day after we touched down lol. My husband is bracing himself for a rather large credit card bill and I am smiling ) I am also informed the more remote area ppl go, the more they struggle to settle. I don't know whether this is true? I am based in Subiaco and have little intention of moving further south than Claremont. ENjoy going home ) Oh one thing I am seriously missing is decent tampax!! Weird missing thing, that and decent washing powder. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Guest55385 Posted January 13, 2012 Share Posted January 13, 2012 Hey Maryrose, I am also from Hampshire, between So'ton and Winchester. Where abouts did you live? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MARYROSE02 Posted January 13, 2012 Share Posted January 13, 2012 Inner city Sydney or Melbourne might be just the place for you, surrounded by universities, theatres, bookshops, cultural activities. 'Politics in the Pub' on a Friday night at the Gaelic Club in Surry Hills, full of 'lefties' right out of Central Casting. I go sometimes but it's not diverse enough for me. It's often not so much a debate as two speakers trying to outdo each other in their hatred of Israel/USA/Tony Abbott. I can imagine you might find a country town a little difficult. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paul1Perth Posted January 13, 2012 Share Posted January 13, 2012 I've been living in Bunbury for 18 months, couldn't wait to get here - new life, better standard of living, sunshine, better opportunities, England was on it's arse etc etc. I've slowly got to the point where I'm desperately missing home.....I need a nice supermarket, somewhere nice to buy clothes that don't look like they're cheap tack from a market stall, I want a restaurant that isn't serving obscenely priced mediocre food, with staff that look pleased to see you, and with NICE TOILETS!!! I want a reasonably priced bikini wax and hair salon (they all charge much the same price wherever you go). I'm glad for the opportunity to experience this side of the world but apart from the sunshine and less traffic jams I can't say anything else is better or as good - I feel the majority of Australians have never known anything else and so it's just accepted - all I hear is "that's how it is here". I move back to the UK at Easter and I can't wait. I can do a decent priced bikini wax!!:wink: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bunbury61 Posted January 13, 2012 Share Posted January 13, 2012 I've been living in Bunbury for 18 months, couldn't wait to get here - new life, better standard of living, sunshine, better opportunities, England was on it's arse etc etc. I've slowly got to the point where I'm desperately missing home.....I need a nice supermarket, somewhere nice to buy clothes that don't look like they're cheap tack from a market stall, I want a restaurant that isn't serving obscenely priced mediocre food, with staff that look pleased to see you, and with NICE TOILETS!!! I want a reasonably priced bikini wax and hair salon (they all charge much the same price wherever you go). I'm glad for the opportunity to experience this side of the world but apart from the sunshine and less traffic jams I can't say anything else is better or as good - I feel the majority of Australians have never known anything else and so it's just accepted - all I hear is "that's how it is here". I move back to the UK at Easter and I can't wait. AAAH Stirling st .....the south west times .....Eaton .....Glen Iris .....Big W .....just name dropping :biglaugh: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Quinkla Posted January 13, 2012 Share Posted January 13, 2012 I have moved cities a number of times. I have known immediately whether the move was right or not. If you wake up the first morning and wonder why you moved, all the time in the world won't resolve it. But if you wake up with a huge smile then you know you've done the right thing. I'm a firm believer that the weather on the day you arrive will make a huge difference to your attitude on a long term basis. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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