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Sydneytina

Neighbours 5 Yr old giving me nightmares.

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Guest NeilEB
Thanks for your reply. Yes, he plays well with my kids. I do not have a problem with that. Its just that it is getting too intrusive and he does not take " No" as an answer.

 

" What message it give to my kids"..... Forcing yourself on others and making them uncomfortable is not what I would like to teach my kids and moreover Neil his mother actually never comes and check on him when we are outside. Its like she dumps him on us and assumes we are taking care of him. This attitude bothers me the most rather than the kid himself.

 

Oh I understand that - it's just that my 3 year old hates playing with children he doesn't know, so I do everything I can to encourage him.

 

I totally get why this kid bothers you though, and as I said earlier, just say no :-)

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I bet if the child injured himself in your house his lazy mother would get off her bum quick enough!

 

Difficult situation and you don't want to be hard on the kid, it's his lazy mother's fault that he's got nothing better to do and no food to eat, so I'd be inclined to speak to her. However, she probably doesn't give a damn and won't be rational, so you may be left with telling the kid to go away.


READ FIRST: please note that my posts are my own personal opinions based on my experiences. These are MY OPINIONS pure and simple, NOT a statement of fact.

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FAR OUT! I just read this post. I can't believe the front of some people. You could be anyone and could have anyone around your house and this mum lets her son spend copious amounts of time at your house!! I'm not saying your not a fit person but how on earth would she know if she never gets off her behind. Imagine letting your child freeload at someone else's house. I'm mortified on her behalf. :embarrassed:I'd be fuming if I was in your shoes. I wouldn't worry about upsetting her as it sounds like she has a brass neck. What annoys me in these situations is being put in the position where you are the one that needs to raise the issue.

 

We had a neighbour who used to let her son climb the 6ft fence into our garden and then he would just hang around and play with our dog. She hadn't even as much as said hello to us and blanked us in the street, yet she would let her son come around to our home!! He would invite himself in, saying he was thirsty. His mum used to still be in her bed and the poor little boy was bored. In the end I got sick of it and would just say we are going out so it's wasn't convenient to come over. The worst thing was that I often used to have to say it to the little boy as his mum wouldn't show her face.

 

I totally sympathise and hope you get it sorted out.

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You could take the little child back and say 'sorry - but it's not convenient right now as I've got my parole officer coming round for a check'

 

I doubt very much whether you'd see them again.

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You could take the little child back and say 'sorry - but it's not convenient right now as I've got my parole officer coming round for a check'

 

I doubt very much whether you'd see them again.

 

lol :biglaugh::biglaugh:......... I wish I could say so and I know it would work like a charm.

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I too am a mom of twins and our neighbours constantly send round their 2 year old son. My twins are girls and 4 - they have no interest in playing with a snot nosed 2 year old boy. SO,,,, he constantly harrasses me to play with him. He helps himself to food out my cupboard and annoys me. He was round my house for 4 hours. The dad came round to check on his nappy and then just left saying its good for the kids to play. The nerve! This is happening far too often now and I am getting hacked off. Soon I get to the point of no return and just snap. This is not a good thing as I need to learn to be honest and open with people. It sounds like you are the same as me in that you feel the need to please all the time. People like us just get used - we are too nice and its time to stand up for ourselves. When I speak to my friends they all say they would not stand for this - so why do we? Its crazy. Lets make a pact - the next time the children come round we will be firm and say No. I know we feel sorry for them but really - they are not our problem.

 

Good luck

xxx


Melanie Charlton

Based in Berowra, Sydney:cool:

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The dad came round to check on his nappy and then just left saying its good for the kids to play. The nerve!

 

I'd have told him you'd be sending your girls round to him next time. That would scare the crap out of him. :laugh::laugh:


It is not economical to go to bed early to save the candles if the result is twins - Chinese proverb

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Hi all,

 

Finally...... after months of harassment, yesterday was the first day the kid didn't come around. It took so much to reach here and thanks for all your support and kind advice. From past few days after getting some wonderful advice from you all, I would straight say "No" to this kid whenever he came over, even said "No" when he touched my kids food and asked him to leave. It was polite but very firm "No". First his visits reduced and yesterday he didn't even come once. Looks like he/his mum got the message. I'll continue to be firm if this starts again. Phewwww..........what a relief. Still wonder how people are so insensitive and will try to take advantage of you at any instance if you are soft kind of a person.

 

Once again, thanks heaps PIO people:smile:

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I too am a mom of twins and our neighbours constantly send round their 2 year old son. My twins are girls and 4 - they have no interest in playing with a snot nosed 2 year old boy. SO,,,, he constantly harrasses me to play with him. He helps himself to food out my cupboard and annoys me. He was round my house for 4 hours. The dad came round to check on his nappy and then just left saying its good for the kids to play. The nerve! This is happening far too often now and I am getting hacked off. Soon I get to the point of no return and just snap. This is not a good thing as I need to learn to be honest and open with people. It sounds like you are the same as me in that you feel the need to please all the time. People like us just get used - we are too nice and its time to stand up for ourselves. When I speak to my friends they all say they would not stand for this - so why do we? Its crazy. Lets make a pact - the next time the children come round we will be firm and say No. I know we feel sorry for them but really - they are not our problem.

 

Good luck

 

xxx

 

Looks like you are facing exactly the same problem as mine. Finally, I've succeeded and I'm sure you will as well. As you said...just be firm and say "No". When this kid helps himself food from your cupboard...take him by his hand and tell him not to touch your cabinets from now on. Don't even let him wander through your whole house. I actually did this as well. I restricted his movements and said he's not allowed to enter any of my rooms except the living room. He soon got the message. I was never rude but did not let him feel comfortable at my place anymore.

 

You are absolutely right, I feel the need to please everyone all the time and I feel so sad if I say NO to someone. This is the first time I shared my personal problem on PIO and the support I got here made me brave enough to start saying "NO". Please, you also put your foot down and don't suffer. I can very well understand how you must be feeling bcoz of all this.

 

I hope you also sort this out. Sending you a big hug :hug: and loads of luck.

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Hi Sydneytina,

 

I'm glad that you're no longer stressed and you were right to take a stand. However, I'm slightly concerned that now you're no longer feeding the little chap from next door - is he being fed and looked after properly?

Another member mentioned contacting the suitable authorities if anything uptoward was happening (neglect etc), and even though I'm not suggesting you do, I wondered if you were at all concerned about his welfare (from your dealings with his Mother)?

I'm sure he's fine and was just being a little pest now and again :biggrin:, but would be good to get some confirmation of that (if you're in the know).

 

Thanks

Kx

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I could not believe what i read in your OP. Wow! I would never do that to someone, my child is my responsibility. I'm so glad you were able to get it sorted. I just hope the mother takes some responsibility now instead of palming him off onto other people.


Trying to get to Aus since 2008. Finally the end is in sight and we are starting to really plan.

Hubby, Paramedic.

Me, Adult Nursing student starting Sept 2018. 

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It could be she just thinks everything is fine and you are happy with the situation. I would just keep explaining to him if he comes at an inconvenient time that it isn't OK for him to come in and just send him away. I think you are making him so welcome that he and presumably his mum don't think you mind. I'd stop feeding him so much as it must be playing havock with mealtimes. It could be his mum is cussing because she can't get him to eat at home because he's eaten so much at yours. No idea what to do about the garden situation though. I'm not sure if you say you end up having to take him places - if so, that's a huge no. Taking someone else's child plus your own is way too much responsibility and you should just say sorry to him, but you can't take him with you (no need to give an excuse).

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Hi Sydneytina,

 

I'm glad that you're no longer stressed and you were right to take a stand. However, I'm slightly concerned that now you're no longer feeding the little chap from next door - is he being fed and looked after properly?

Another member mentioned contacting the suitable authorities if anything uptoward was happening (neglect etc), and even though I'm not suggesting you do, I wondered if you were at all concerned about his welfare (from your dealings with his Mother)?

I'm sure he's fine and was just being a little pest now and again :biggrin:, but would be good to get some confirmation of that (if you're in the know).

 

Thanks

Kx

 

The little boy doesn't seem to be distressed or neglected in a sense which would raise doubts about his safety. In my view, his mother seems too lazy and thinks sending him over gives her time to relax. Looks like they do not buy much fresh fruits etc for the boy but instead he eats a lot of of junk. He is overweight for his age. At 5 yrs, he weighs 37 kgs which I think is too much.

 

My observation:

 

 

  • His mother doesn't really have any routine for breakfast/lunch/dinner or snack times.

 

 

 

  • Doesn't cook healthy meals. (I've seen him munching on a full big packet of chips..)

  • May be he's eating a lot of junk which adds to his calories but he doesn't feel full and wants to eat all the time.

  • His mother is very lazy.

 

Though I feel sorry for the boy but I have to say I'm more relaxed and happy now as his visits have reduced significantly.

 

Thanks again for all the support PIOers

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Well done for being more assertive with your visitor!!

I, too have been through this and it is hard to stop or get the courage to reduce visitors without being rude or upsetting others.

If the child is being fed and 'cared' for then there is nothing much that can be done about a lazy parent, although if you feel that the mother is depressed or needs assistance call DHS and tell them your concerns.


47SV Special Migrant Former Resident Visa Applied 15.9.08 Granted 10.3.09

Arrived 19.9.09 Lovin' it!!

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