gaz n family Posted April 26, 2011 Share Posted April 26, 2011 We have our visa, my family are moving with me, flights are booked, i dont talk with most of my family, except my dad who says we are lucky and should go for it. It has been my dream to leave the UK for years now. So why do i sit at night, or lie in bed, rolling around,worrying, are we doing the right thing? Does anyone else get these feelings a couple of months away from the big move? I keep feeling guilty about not telling my work mates, being a consultant my position can be cut with 10 days notic, but i need the next two months salary so dare not say anything. I worry my wife will never forgive me for taking her away from her mum.......aarrgghhh i hate these feelings of doubt. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chalkyhill Posted April 26, 2011 Share Posted April 26, 2011 Everyone is bound to have butterflies, it is a big investment of time and money to move to another country. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest NeilEB Posted April 26, 2011 Share Posted April 26, 2011 Yes indeed - I have them and I haven't even got my visa yet - god knows what will happen when the time to move is upon us Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Burchos Posted April 26, 2011 Share Posted April 26, 2011 We have our visa, my family are moving with me, flights are booked, i dont talk with most of my family, except my dad who says we are lucky and should go for it. It has been my dream to leave the UK for years now. So why do i sit at night, or lie in bed, rolling around,worrying, are we doing the right thing? Does anyone else get these feelings a couple of months away from the big move? I keep feeling guilty about not telling my work mates, being a consultant my position can be cut with 10 days notic, but i need the next two months salary so dare not say anything. I worry my wife will never forgive me for taking her away from her mum.......aarrgghhh i hate these feelings of doubt. We don't have our visa yet, but I feel exactly the same as you. When we got our CO I was elated and so happy, now we have had meds and pc and are waiting for the visa I am thinking of every reason not to go and seem to have lost my way a little in why we started this journey in the first place. I am told it is only natural to feel like this as it is a huge step. Good luck. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest NeilEB Posted April 26, 2011 Share Posted April 26, 2011 Think about how you felt when changing job Or getting Married Or buying a new house Now, multiply the magnitude of those decisions by about 100%, and add in the fact that you are moving away from your support network of friends, family and familiar surroundings. I think it's perfectly natrual to feel a bit worried! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Liz Steve R Posted April 26, 2011 Share Posted April 26, 2011 We have our visa, my family are moving with me, flights are booked, i dont talk with most of my family, except my dad who says we are lucky and should go for it. It has been my dream to leave the UK for years now. So why do i sit at night, or lie in bed, rolling around,worrying, are we doing the right thing? Does anyone else get these feelings a couple of months away from the big move? I keep feeling guilty about not telling my work mates, being a consultant my position can be cut with 10 days notic, but i need the next two months salary so dare not say anything. I worry my wife will never forgive me for taking her away from her mum.......aarrgghhh i hate these feelings of doubt. Hi there, Love your post! We were saying the same things to each other this morning! lol We have our visas, husband has a job to go to, shipping and flights being paid for by the navy and still we are s***ing ourselves with total apprehension :wacko: Then in the next breath we'll say "it'll be fine, we're definately doing the right thing". I had a dream the other night that I was trying to stop my car (with me in it) driving over the edge of a massive waterfall - don't think it's hard to interpret that one! lol My husband travelled around Oz for a year on a WHV in the late 90's but I have never been. He has always raved about Oz and how he wants to someday take the kids and I there - and now he worries he will be the one that doesn't like it because when he was there he was a single man and this time he has a family to take care of, he's worried it'll make it a very different place. I have promised I will not blame anything on him, this is our joint decision and we'll deal with the highs and lows together. Not particularly looking forward to saying Goodbye to family here and then him going to sea for a few months at a time in Oz but we deal OK with that here in the UK, so hopefully should be no different over there - other than I will be feeling sad sat on a beach with a glass of wine in hand getting a tan :laugh: My husband is in the navy here and hadn't told a soul at work that he was going to Oz until we got the visas, in case it all fell through and he looked like he'd been making it all up. He's had to work a years notice too, with colleagues asking what he'll do for work in civvy street. You sound perfectly normal to me but then I am a nutter that's emigrating to the unknown too - what do I know?! :biglaugh: Best of Luck with your move, hope all your worries are cast aside when you're there. Liz Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Har00n Posted April 26, 2011 Share Posted April 26, 2011 I feel exactly the same. Am still trying to get teh VISA, but i am getting some serious guilt coming as i've not told any of my colleagues. Being an IT consultant on a contract, the company can get rid of me in 2 weeks, and i too need the money. I can see them planning me in for work up until Januray 2012, i think thats where the guilts coming from. I get on with everyone here, wish i could say to them, i'm sure they'd be happy for me, but can't risk it till i get the Visa. then i have the wife situation. She's not a UK national, so she's already away from her family, but she made some nice friends here who she's going to miss i'm sure. But i reckon it's going to be for the best, for both of us. I'm sure when i'm sitting in the sun, or driving to work in the sunshine, and lazing about in a park in the sunshine, it'll all be worth it! (mind you, still dreading the thought of spiders. Was going through the photos here, and someone put up pics of a HUGE spider on a bog roll. If that happens to me i'd have a heart attack!) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
janice1uk Posted April 26, 2011 Share Posted April 26, 2011 we have our visa, my family are moving with me, flights are booked, i dont talk with most of my family, except my dad who says we are lucky and should go for it. It has been my dream to leave the uk for years now. So why do i sit at night, or lie in bed, rolling around,worrying, are we doing the right thing? Does anyone else get these feelings a couple of months away from the big move? I keep feeling guilty about not telling my work mates, being a consultant my position can be cut with 10 days notic, but i need the next two months salary so dare not say anything. I worry my wife will never forgive me for taking her away from her mum.......aarrgghhh i hate these feelings of doubt. i think what your feeling is only natural. Its such a big thing to uproot and move to the other side of the world but remember why your doing it and stay strong you will be fine. Thats what i keep telling myself anyway!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
brideycollette Posted April 26, 2011 Share Posted April 26, 2011 We have our visa, my family are moving with me, flights are booked, i dont talk with most of my family, except my dad who says we are lucky and should go for it. It has been my dream to leave the UK for years now. So why do i sit at night, or lie in bed, rolling around,worrying, are we doing the right thing? Does anyone else get these feelings a couple of months away from the big move? I keep feeling guilty about not telling my work mates, being a consultant my position can be cut with 10 days notic, but i need the next two months salary so dare not say anything. I worry my wife will never forgive me for taking her away from her mum.......aarrgghhh i hate these feelings of doubt. :biggrin:Because yr human Gaz also you have a family you have to provide for( hah i can hear my OH now saying this) ..... You did the leap of faith before and you will fly through this one with your family Wouldn't be natural if you didn't have these feelings I know we are quite away from feeling like this :jiggy:mind secretly what a high too be feeling Brides x Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Malkitek Posted April 26, 2011 Share Posted April 26, 2011 Oh thank god it's not just me! I also understand the worry about being the one not to like it, as it was also me who was the driving force having been on a whv! I have a dread that I will wake up the first day in oz and think 'what have we done!' (and if my jetlag is as usual this is bloody likely to happen for at least 48 hrs!) But the next Minute I think, stop being silly, loads of people do it, and many moved over years ago before flights and email! Keep the faith Gill and mal xx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Mallam Posted April 26, 2011 Share Posted April 26, 2011 Everyone I imagine will feel exactly the same as you mate, it is himan nature to think like you do when all the fuss is over and you have your flights booked, just go for it and enjoy the rest of your lives you lucky sod. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest The Ropey HOFF Posted April 26, 2011 Share Posted April 26, 2011 We are all different, some suffer from the Heebeejeebeeies others don't suffer much at all, me i am like you, i fret about it all working out, it shows you care about yer family. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest itskaren Posted April 26, 2011 Share Posted April 26, 2011 We have our visa, my family are moving with me, flights are booked, i dont talk with most of my family, except my dad who says we are lucky and should go for it. It has been my dream to leave the UK for years now. So why do i sit at night, or lie in bed, rolling around,worrying, are we doing the right thing? Does anyone else get these feelings a couple of months away from the big move? I keep feeling guilty about not telling my work mates, being a consultant my position can be cut with 10 days notic, but i need the next two months salary so dare not say anything. I worry my wife will never forgive me for taking her away from her mum.......aarrgghhh i hate these feelings of doubt. Yep .. had these feelings too. We have been in Melbourne for 3.5 years now and wish I went with my gut feeling and never moved here. Good luck. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GavCar Posted April 26, 2011 Share Posted April 26, 2011 Thanks for this post because it was re-assuring for me to read that most people seem to feel the same! I have found that everytime we get a step nearer I get excited but also get really scared & panicky! We also wonder 'are we doing the right thing?'! But we run through the reasons for going and that reassures us why we are going and that we are doing the right thing. I agree with what someone said about how you feel before any major change like leaving/starting a new job, getting married, moving home etc... Any change can make us feel unsettled and I don't believe its a sign as to whether we should or shouldn't be going - it's just natural nerves - unless the reasons for going have actually changed. We are seeing it as an amazing adventure and if it doesnt work out we can come home & then hopefully we would realise the grass isn't greener and be more settled here. Not may things in life are free unfortunately and there is often an emotional concequence to big decisons. Millions of people have children yet they completely change your life and can be really hard work at times - but I doubt most people would change a thing! I know some people have bad experiences but from what I have read, most people are glad they did it even if they ended up coming home - you'll never know otherwise. We are lucky to have this forum as it's so reassuring other people feel the same. Cara x Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest jje Posted April 26, 2011 Share Posted April 26, 2011 I have lived abroad before in my early twenties (I am 40 now) so I know what to expect. My wife has never lived abroad. She is the one who's fine with this and I am the one with all the worries! Her parents are right behind us but mine are using emotional blackmail about the kids, which is affecting me more than I want to admit. I think that if you go into it with a positive frame of mind, everything will be OK. It's natural to worry, it will be a very stressful time. But if you think of the long-term benefits, it gets you through. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted April 26, 2011 Share Posted April 26, 2011 We have our visa, my family are moving with me, flights are booked, i dont talk with most of my family, except my dad who says we are lucky and should go for it. It has been my dream to leave the UK for years now. So why do i sit at night, or lie in bed, rolling around,worrying, are we doing the right thing? Does anyone else get these feelings a couple of months away from the big move? I keep feeling guilty about not telling my work mates, being a consultant my position can be cut with 10 days notic, but i need the next two months salary so dare not say anything. I worry my wife will never forgive me for taking her away from her mum.......aarrgghhh i hate these feelings of doubt. Go for it, you will never get another chance, If you dont like you can always come back, just remember if you nevr go you will never know. :wink: good luck Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest kchaplin Posted April 26, 2011 Share Posted April 26, 2011 I've not got my visa yet but I already have these feelings too! Why not look at it as a new adventure for a year or so? There's nothing saying you can't come back hey? Thats how i've talked myself round anyway! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest mayonayes Posted April 26, 2011 Share Posted April 26, 2011 Know exactly how you feel, we are hoping to move later this year. One minute im thinking wish we could go tomorrow if the house had sold and then the doubt creeps in are we doing the right thing. I think after going through the visa process and the constant changes the immigration bring in may make it even harder to get visas in the future. I think I have been lucky enough to get a visa and have to give it a go at least if its not for us we can say we tried it and not why didn't we go. I find everybody is really supportive and tells you how amazing and brave you are and I wish I had gone and you will have a wonderful life. Nobody tells you you are mad and do you know what you are actually doing. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest janeubu Posted April 26, 2011 Share Posted April 26, 2011 well i always say you can regret the things you did do but not the things you didnt.....at least you can return to the uk if its not for you...we are goin wa at xmas and i feel like im on a rollercoaster at the minute but there are more ups than downs...:smile: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jimithechew Posted April 26, 2011 Share Posted April 26, 2011 I take it your only feeling this about your family, after all you joined the army no?, so your not bothered about yourself,like many I joined at 16 and it was a good crack, I was not bothered about my family. So its just the misses and kids your thinking about, any squaddie makes friends at the drop of a hat, clearly your work mates are just acquaintances not friend otherwise you would have told them your plans, (and thats a fact!, tell me im wrong) so I wouldn't worry about them, and about the misses your telling me she dont wanna go? no woman lets her man go completly head down without her blessing, and in my case, my mum in law is coming as well!!!! ha ha ha!!! Roll on Oz, :biggrin: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LojaChica Posted April 27, 2011 Share Posted April 27, 2011 We have our visa, my family are moving with me, flights are booked, i dont talk with most of my family, except my dad who says we are lucky and should go for it. It has been my dream to leave the UK for years now. So why do i sit at night, or lie in bed, rolling around,worrying, are we doing the right thing? Does anyone else get these feelings a couple of months away from the big move? I keep feeling guilty about not telling my work mates, being a consultant my position can be cut with 10 days notic, but i need the next two months salary so dare not say anything. I worry my wife will never forgive me for taking her away from her mum.......aarrgghhh i hate these feelings of doubt. It's perfectly natural to feel the way that you do! I've been here 3 years and STILL wonder at times if I did the right thing:biggrin: I couldn't tell my Colleagues either & we ended up having a BBQ to tell them and flew 5 days later............with hindsight NOT the best experience but it's the way it had to be However.............I KNOW that I couldn't still be sat in the UK wondering "What If" You HAVE to try it or else you'll never know! This is a massive thing that you are doing but just go with your instinct and cross each bridge as you come to it and deal with one thing at a time then get on the plane at LHR and collapse in tears at the sheer relief that you made it, got through it and are now on the way to the next exciting chapter in your life.................I did:embarrassed: GOOD Luck with everything and REMEMBER............ LIFE IS a journey NOT a destination Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paul1Perth Posted April 27, 2011 Share Posted April 27, 2011 I must be weird in the extreme. From the moment we got accepted I couldn't wait. Worst part was saying goodbyes but apart from that only excitement. Never thought for one minute it could go wrong.:cool: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gaz n family Posted April 27, 2011 Author Share Posted April 27, 2011 Sorry, dont get me wrong, we are still going. I just keep getting prangs of OH NO, WHAT ARE WE DOING??? The majority of the time i cannot wait TBH, but its always at night or in bed i keep getting these feelings. I guess its normal, but its easy when its just you, this effects all of us, i would hate it all to go wrong and my kids throw it back in my face, especially my eldest, i am sure he hates us already for taking him away from his mates. Mind you, i am sure our eldest did model himself on Harry Enfield's Character, the teenager. I guess if i had a job it wouldnt be so bad, but i keep trying without much luck at the moment. I am willing to sweep the streets is nessacary to get that income. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest chris955 Posted April 27, 2011 Share Posted April 27, 2011 I would be more surprised if you didn't feel that way to be honest, it is perfectly natural. There is bound to be the doubts, whether it will work out or not, if you will all settle. It is normal. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest36762 Posted April 27, 2011 Share Posted April 27, 2011 I must be weird in the extreme. From the moment we got accepted I couldn't wait. Worst part was saying goodbyes but apart from that only excitement. Never thought for one minute it could go wrong.:cool: TBH Paul, that's hardly a normal reaction..... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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