Smith Tribe Posted September 16, 2010 Share Posted September 16, 2010 Hi all at PIO, it has been a while since i have been on and alot has happened since. We moved to Oz Dec 2007 and then moved back to UK April 2010. We hadn't managed to sell our house in UK in 3 and a half years, we had a flood in Jan whilst we were still in Oz and then our house sale in Oz fell through twice. We are now all back in the UK, with the house in Oz under contract. My husband has a job here and l have managed to get my old job back BUT..... l am worried it was the wrong decision to come back. My eldest daughter who wanted to move back is ok, my other two , l feel would be ok anywhere. I have tried to talk to my hubby about it but he keeps asking why do you want to go back, we did not have proper jobs in over two years we were in Brisbane. But something isn't right, l don't think l want to be here and wished l would have come back for a holiday. I am very emotional all the time and feel like l am loosing my marbles. We didn't manage to get citizenship as we had to do four years, does any know what the ruling is on going back? I purposely didn't state leaving for good on the airport documentation, l did say 6 months, and it has been that now and l am still not happy. I don't know what to do, l need help! Even though our house here in Uk is lovely and in a great village, we have a dog and cat and great friends l still feel like l don't belong. It has cost us alot of money to move back, well money my parents gave us and they have been brilliant sorting our house here in UK after the flood damage. I feel awful. Any advice PLEASE! I have looked at flights and even thought about leaving our stuff and getting some new when in Oz, it is asthough in my mind head l have decided but it is not just me involved in this. Our house here is still up for sale but the chances of it selling are slim. Selling the house in Oz will allow us to have some money to pay things off and go back, just. I have rambled enough but someone please tell me l am not going MAD!!!! thanks:arghh: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pablo Posted September 16, 2010 Share Posted September 16, 2010 You can go back as long as its within the 5 year yr validity period from when you got your visa cant you? Wont attempt to comment on the emotional aspect of your post as i havnt moved there yet,so others are more qualified. Certainly wouldnt say your mad tho,loads come back and realise they want to go back to oz,good luck anyway:wink: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest The Ropey HOFF Posted September 16, 2010 Share Posted September 16, 2010 Hi, it sounds like a nightmare, house sales are rock bottom and i wish that i could give you some good help and advice, but i can't, other than to say i wish you all the best of luck and i hope things start going your way for a change, you deserve a bit of luck. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dufont Posted September 16, 2010 Share Posted September 16, 2010 Someone once told me that when you are so undecided about something as huge as this to sit there and imagine for instance that you have to stay in the UK forever....and see what your feelings are, and then imagine you have to move to Australia again and stay forever.....and see what you feel then. They reckoned that you would feel very down about one option. Not tried it myself to see if it works but I suppose it could put things in perspective more. I hope things all work out for you, but if you do come back you won't be the first or last person to be a ping-ponger. All the best Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Quoll Posted September 16, 2010 Share Posted September 16, 2010 Ah, the curse of the expat - very common - always wondering whether the grass from your imagination really is greener than the grass you are currently walking on. All of those things that made you want to leave Australia are still there. Where you are now you have jobs, a home and the rest of your family are settled so perhaps you need to see a counsellor to help you through the grief of a lost dream. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Armadillo Posted September 16, 2010 Share Posted September 16, 2010 Ah, the curse of the expat - very common - always wondering whether the grass from your imagination really is greener than the grass you are currently walking on. All of those things that made you want to leave Australia are still there. Where you are now you have jobs, a home and the rest of your family are settled so perhaps you need to see a counsellor to help you through the grief of a lost dream. I have to say that I agree with this post. If you are feeling that low, you should definitely seek some help. Please, don't avoid the issue, enquire at your medical centre about counselling. It will help you to see things in perspective, and to make better choices for yourself and your family. Do it tomorrow! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rudi Posted September 16, 2010 Share Posted September 16, 2010 You don't want your car back do you??!!! :goofy: Sorry to hear things aren't quite as expected for you back in the UK. I think this happens to a lot of people which is why so many ping pong. They think life will go back to being the same as it was previously in the UK and it's rarely like that, but having had a taste of something different, something just feels lacking. I don't have any practical advice, sorry! But I hope things work out for you all. Take care Love Rudi x Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nurse sue Posted September 17, 2010 Share Posted September 17, 2010 Am sorry i dont have the answer just wanted to send you the biggest Hug:hug: but woukd agree you need to talk to someone but dont put off till tomorrow what should be done today. You are not alone xxx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Petals Posted September 17, 2010 Share Posted September 17, 2010 Sorry cannot help but feel for you. You are not alone in your position, a lot of people return and come back its laying the ghost. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted September 17, 2010 Share Posted September 17, 2010 You certainly can go back but should you? I didn't follow your journey to Australia or back to the UK so I don't know what all the factors were but it sounds like circumstances meant you didn't get a 'fair go' in Oz. In different financial times you would have sold your house easily and walked into good jobs in Brisbane. If you felt anything like we do then life in Oz has been a bit of a slog and it's very easy to slip into the 'it wasn't worth it' way of thinking and want your old life back. For some people they return to their old life with their eyes opened to what they took for granted but for others (& this sounds like you) whatever drove them to emigrate in the first place is still there. If I was you I'd choose not to decide in other words give yourself a break from the soul searching, imagine you are going to be in the UK for a year and make the most of it, all of it the people, the places, the history, culture, all the opportunities. Folklaw has it that it takes two years to settle in Oz and I'd suggest that the reverse is also true. You are almost certainly progressing through the 'transition curve', there are different versions but this one is as good as any CrossFit Vancouver - The Transition Curve It sounds to me like you are at 'crisis of meaning' - fight or flight. In Oz you took the flight option maybe it's time to fight?? As others have said a counsellor can help you navigate the transition. If the final decision is to return then do it with the odds in your favour, house sold and at least one of you with a job. What you are going through is a normal reaction to big life changes hang in there. Jules x Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
scousers Posted September 17, 2010 Share Posted September 17, 2010 I can simpathise with you, what a dilemma, i am in Oz and have been for over 20 years and worry about the future, if i want to go home should i go now before our daughter gets any older, or do we stay here? Can;t offer you any advise but just to reassure you, you are not the only one, but i would get some counselling i have thought of it myself! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest chris955 Posted September 17, 2010 Share Posted September 17, 2010 It's all too common unfortunately. People go to Australia and realise it was the wrong thing to do, others go to the UK and find the same thing. Nowhere is right or wrong for everyone, maybe the best thing is to write a list of the reasons why you left Australia and the reasons why you want to go back. If one outweighs the other then that may give you a clearer idea of what you really want. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest rayman1 Posted September 22, 2010 Share Posted September 22, 2010 We came back in April and would NEVER go back to Brisbane. Australia was just a very painful and expensive mistake in my eyes. Getting better over here. Jobs, house, friends, kids happy, feel like it is where we belong. Had some hard times and still counting the cost but certainly a better future than Australia. I think you are griefing for a lost dream and a feeling of failure but you are not a failure if it didnt work out. Drop me a PM if you need to talk but England is home, Australia is just a place people live. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Smith Tribe Posted September 22, 2010 Author Share Posted September 22, 2010 Thanks all for your advice and kind words. We definately didn't come back to UK because we didn't like Oz. We made the most of everything whilst we were there, triathlons, camping, surf life saving, loads. I don't think we would have come back if we didn't have a house here, a house l admit we can't sell!! Even though we have got jobs and there is light at the end of the tunnel. i still lie in bed whilst l am supposed to be asleep wishing to be back. I have just renewed my teaching licence in Oz, now that does sound bizarre to most people as l am in UK, but secretly wishing l could hop on the plane, get work and try again. Not sure what will happen next but the dream for me is not over YET!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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