Guest Niaja Posted July 30, 2010 Share Posted July 30, 2010 Hello all, I'm new to this forum and could really use some advice! I migrated to Brisbane 4yrs ago with my husband and 2 sons. (one of which was 11wks old at the time! Crazy now I think of it!!) Anyway we are very set up here and settled physically if that makes sense. But I can't get rid of the feeling that I want to go back home to the UK. In a way I wish we had never come here. Then we wouldn't have to make a choice to go home. We have a nice house here, nice big new car etc etc blah blah definitely not a lifestyle we could afford in the UK but its all material things. I've been talking to my Mum who is in the UK still and kind of decided to give it maybe another year get our citizenship and then maybe go back. But I don't even know where to go back to, were from London so wouldn't be able to afford a box there (and London's not the greatest place to raise kiddies either) So if anyone has any ideas on where to start that would be good. Can anyone give their experiences of going back whether it was the right decision etc. I really love it here but it all feels artificial and fake. I just hate being so far away from home. Forgot to add that Hubby does not want to leave here at all. Not helpful! Thanks, Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
harrisj67 Posted July 30, 2010 Share Posted July 30, 2010 I understand your predicament Niaja. We’re in the process of thinking about returning, but where to? We lived in London for 13 years prior to leaving the UK and it really didn’t suit us; me in particular. Country boy married to someone who likes to be in the thick of it! J I just do not know where we would settle back in the UK. The family is our biggest drawcard, but they’re in the South and East Anglia. We’ll have to see I suppose. Unlike you though we’re both behind this and the boys are too young to worry – they adore their cousins which is reciprocated. The most important thing is to relay how unhappy you are about staying in Australia and don’t let it fester. Find out what you are unhappy about; is it just family, where you are situated, lack of friends (we have some wonderful Australian friends), your job?? You have to communicate. Anyway, keep us posted and good luck. I hope you get sorted out. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Quoll Posted July 30, 2010 Share Posted July 30, 2010 My advice is dont let it drag on. Get it out in the open, set a date and stick to it. It is so seductively easy to just go with the flow and soon you will be beyond the point of no return. You can get your citizenship now why wait for another year and another and another. If you dont "belong" here then chances are in another 30 years you still wont. As for where to go - well the world is your oyster really and basically you go where the work is. You dont have to go back to London - there are a lot of beautiful places within easy reach of London which would be much easier although still more expensive than, say Lincolnshire which I believe is the cheapest housing although the work situation may not be great there. I just hope you can persuade your OH to go with you because if you cant and he says you cant take the kids then you will be stuck (see the sticky thread on removing children from Aus) Good luck with it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Parley Posted July 30, 2010 Share Posted July 30, 2010 My advice is dont let it drag on. Get it out in the open, set a date and stick to it. It is so seductively easy to just go with the flow and soon you will be beyond the point of no return. You can get your citizenship now why wait for another year and another and another. If you dont "belong" here then chances are in another 30 years you still wont. As for where to go - well the world is your oyster really and basically you go where the work is. You dont have to go back to London - there are a lot of beautiful places within easy reach of London which would be much easier although still more expensive than, say Lincolnshire which I believe is the cheapest housing although the work situation may not be great there. I just hope you can persuade your OH to go with you because if you cant and he says you cant take the kids then you will be stuck (see the sticky thread on removing children from Aus) Good luck with it. I disagree, in that if your partner is happy and doesn't want to go back, it isn't a good idea to bamboozle him into returning quickly against his wishes. That could cause resentment and damage your relationship. I think you need to work this through together, but not force the issue too quickly. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest TheArmChairDetective Posted July 30, 2010 Share Posted July 30, 2010 Hello all, I'm new to this forum and could really use some advice! I migrated to Brisbane 4yrs ago with my husband and 2 sons. (one of which was 11wks old at the time! Crazy now I think of it!!) Anyway we are very set up here and settled physically if that makes sense. But I can't get rid of the feeling that I want to go back home to the UK. In a way I wish we had never come here. Then we wouldn't have to make a choice to go home. We have a nice house here, nice big new car etc etc blah blah definitely not a lifestyle we could afford in the UK but its all material things. I've been talking to my Mum who is in the UK still and kind of decided to give it maybe another year get our citizenship and then maybe go back. But I don't even know where to go back to, were from London so wouldn't be able to afford a box there (and London's not the greatest place to raise kiddies either) So if anyone has any ideas on where to start that would be good. Can anyone give their experiences of going back whether it was the right decision etc. I really love it here but it all feels artificial and fake. I just hate being so far away from home. Forgot to add that Hubby does not want to leave here at all. Not helpful! Thanks, Hi, Excuse if this sounds blunt, its not meant to be. I am trying to be realistic. I think that before you even start thinking about setting a date to leave that you decide what you really want. Before you migrated you probably wrote a list of pros and cons for staying in the UK or going to Australia? Get that list out now if you still have it and see what has changed for you, and more importantly why. As said above does your family in OZ know that after speaking to your Mum you "kinda decided to maybe give it another year", do they know how you feel or was it just a decision made with your mum over a telephone call? If you are intent on returning to the UK and making that your goal I would respectfully suggest that your first goal should be on getting your citizenship before you leave. Whilst there are certainly loads of people who decide that Oz is not for them after all I sometimes wonder how many returnee's become ping pong poms and return to Australia after coming back and finding they wish they had never left in the first place. There are certainkly quite a few that I know of who have felt like that and gone back, and it wouldn't hurt to have some aces up your sleeve. If you do decide that the UK is where you want to be and you return, then I wish you the best of luck in finding what it is your looking for. Please keep us posted on how things go for you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Quoll Posted July 30, 2010 Share Posted July 30, 2010 I disagree, in that if your partner is happy and doesn't want to go back, it isn't a good idea to bamboozle him into returning quickly against his wishes.That could cause resentment and damage your relationship. I think you need to work this through together, but not force the issue too quickly. Resentment there already I should think. I didnt mean set a date for next Thursday week - it can be 3 months or 3 years but make that the decision point for staying or going. But it does need to be out in the open and negotiated now otherwise it will just linger on and on and the poor OP will still be here 30 years hence and I can guarantee the resentment will be full blown by that time! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Parley Posted July 30, 2010 Share Posted July 30, 2010 Resentment there already I should think. I didnt mean set a date for next Thursday week - it can be 3 months or 3 years but make that the decision point for staying or going. But it does need to be out in the open and negotiated now otherwise it will just linger on and on and the poor OP will still be here 30 years hence and I can guarantee the resentment will be full blown by that time! Its something the family have to work through. If one party isn't happy, it shouldn't be assumed the answer is they must automatically go back. I think we are jumping to that conclusion way too soon, and it needs lots of discussion to agree on the right course of action. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dawny Posted July 30, 2010 Share Posted July 30, 2010 Its a very difficult decision to make when only one of you really has the need and longing to go home! You really need to sit down and discuss it fully, no holding back to save feelings, its no use trying to bottle things up, as this can make things a 100 times worse! One person deeply unhappy can throw the whole family out of sorts!, only then as a family can you sit and make plans for your future together, i wish you lots of luck in whatever you decide to do x Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Niaja Posted July 30, 2010 Share Posted July 30, 2010 Hubby knows I feel this way, but we haven't discussed anything on definite terms. We visited the UK a few weeks ago (hubby only for 6days) anyway we met up with his family the kids all met their cousins it was lovely and we discussed going back after that and he seemed a little more interested. I know it wont be like that every weekend but it will be a dam sight more than if we stay here. Nothing has been set in stone by any means I'm just putting some feelers out to see how others began the process of returning. If anything I think we should go back for a year to experience life there again. Winter, Car Parking restrictions, rain and all the other reasons we left in the first place. We could rent out our house here and put our stuff in storage so we can come back if we want to. At least then we will know for sure that we made the right move coming here and if not we can make things more permanent. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dawny Posted July 30, 2010 Share Posted July 30, 2010 Hubby knows I feel this way, but we haven't discussed anything on definite terms. We visited the UK a few weeks ago (hubby only for 6days) anyway we met up with his family the kids all met their cousins it was lovely and we discussed going back after that and he seemed a little more interested. I know it wont be like that every weekend but it will be a dam sight more than if we stay here. Nothing has been set in stone by any means I'm just putting some feelers out to see how others began the process of returning. If anything I think we should go back for a year to experience life there again. Winter, Car Parking restrictions, rain and all the other reasons we left in the first place. We could rent out our house here and put our stuff in storage so we can come back if we want to. At least then we will know for sure that we made the right move coming here and if not we can make things more permanent. Aww i really feel for you i do! But may i just ask you something! Have you always had the longing so strongly to go home since you touched australian soil, Or has the feeling come on all the stronger for meeting up with family etc, I only ask as going home may have just unsettled you and made you home sick and maybe a few weeks down the line, you will feel more at home in australia! Which ever way it is at least you have already discussed your options, which is good as your hubby knows how you are feeling! So therefor will be so much easier for you to approach again! x Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Niaja Posted July 30, 2010 Share Posted July 30, 2010 I've always felt like it and it gets worse and worse rather than any better. But your right its much worse after people have visited and we have been there. I just feel so isolated here. Wish I could pull AU and UK closer together. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dawny Posted July 30, 2010 Share Posted July 30, 2010 I've always felt like it and it gets worse and worse rather than any better. But your right its much worse after people have visited and we have been there. I just feel so isolated here. Wish I could pull AU and UK closer together. :hug:to you! I really hope you can find time to sit down together and discuss it more, i really do, you have already done the hard bit, now its just a case of following it up! Chin up hun, im sure you will find a way as a family to get your life and happiness well and truly back on track, wishing you all the very best, and please let us know how you get on with your future plans x Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Burnett Posted July 30, 2010 Share Posted July 30, 2010 Makes it very difficult within a relationship when one partner in particular feels the tug of home. Some say so and express their feelings about Oz and their wish to return to UK Others, for a wide variety of reasons, suppress their unhappiness, i.e., they may have been the one who pushed hardest for the move to Oz, for example. So they feel guilty when they discover they don't really want to be here. They feel guilty about the money and effort it took to get here - and what it will cost to return They feel guilty for dragging the family around the world. They feel guilty about separating their spouse or children from family in the UK or pulling kids out of school and away from friends and pets, etc. Many suffer a crisis in confidence. It's understandable. How can they trust their own judgement again, they ask themselves, after moving to Australia only to find it a mistake. What if it happens again after they return to the UK ? Are they the problem - and not the country ? What will their spouse or children think of them for uprooting the family yet again ? What will this or that person think ? Is everything all their fault ? Shouldn't they just shut up and bear it ? Isn't it up to them to 'try harder' to fit Oz ? There's sometimes another problem, too. Not every couple gets along as well as others might think. Not all marriages are composed of equals. Not every couple communicates honestly. Many marriages harbour passive-aggressives. Supposedly 'forgotten' resentments often simmer, etc. So what sometimes occurs is a spouse will dig in his/her heels and profess to be happy in Oz, in response to the other's wish to return to UK, in the same way some people will argue for the sake of it, or go against the other just for the sake of it, just because they can -- because it's an undercover means of venting old resentments, or of getting even, or of for once holding the whip-hand, etc. Some people are actually secretly miserable in the UK. They might have overbearing or otherwise difficult in-laws, for example. Or it may be their own parents who're a bit of a problem. Or maybe the person felt somewhat inferior in the UK, compared with their old school-friends, or adult siblings, neighbours, colleagues or workmates, etc. Then, in one fell-swoop, they're freed of all that, via a flight to Oz. In Oz, people can re-invent themselves, can put humiliations, past-histories, failures, etc. behind them. A proposed return to the UK could be regarded as a return to the simmering misery they escaped when they came to Oz Others, of course, honestly just like it in Oz. They prefer it to the UK, are happier here. And they feel that if their spouse loved them, then they'd learn to love Oz too, for the sake of the relationship. The opposite partner is thinking the same way, in reverse It's rare that two people enjoy the same music, foods, colours, architectural styles, plants, books, etc. So it's natural they would have differing opinions about Australia and about 'Oz vs Home'. Maybe they were not really aligned when the decision to move to Australia was made ? Maybe right then, before the move, one partner felt coerced, compromised, less than commited ? The very wise advice offered by many members of PomsInOz is to honestly list (and think truthfully about) the reasons for moving to Australia in the first place. Many of those reasons will still be there upon return. Next, is to list the reasons for unhappiness with Australia. Are they trifling or insurmountable ? Could unhappiness be alleviated by relocating someplace else in Oz, perhaps ? Or by taking a different job, or moving into another house or flat ? ' Have I given Australia a decent chance ? Have I been fair or did I stick out the bottom lip soon after arrival ? Am I being stubborn ? I miss my friends in the UK, but have I really tried to establish friendships in Oz ? Do I try to influence my children for-or-against Oz or the UK - have I really listened to them and my spouse about their feelings for either place ? Is my happiness being bought at the cost of my spouse or family ? Can I live with that ? Could I deal with the break-up of my marriage and/or the simmering resentment felt towards me by my children or spouse if I forced my will upon them about either Australia or UK ? Have I become addicted to the drama, attention and fleeting glamour associated with moving from one country to another ? ' etc. Some people will destroy or fracture their marriage if they push for a move to either UK or Australia. Some are prepared to accept that because their need to return to UK is so strong. Most would rather live in semi-misery than see their marriage break up. Some marriages will break up anyway, no matter what sacrifices are made. And some marriages were temporarily held together, thanks to the departure from UK/move to Oz. People believe (because no-one tells them otherwise) that the hard stuff takes place before the move to Australia, i.e., the paperwork and jumping through hoops - the waiting for approval and securing work in Oz - the sorting through, discarding and packing - the teary goodbyes to friends and family, etc. They believe (because no-one tells them otherwise) that once they're on that plane - once they land in Australia - once they're bathed in that golden sunshine and step on those endless sands - once they've unpacked and installed the kids in school and begun the new jobs, then life will be like a movie and they'll feel reborn. They forget that no matter where we go, we take ourselves with us Makes you wonder, doesn't it, how many Brits would want to cut their ties and move to Australia -- if Australia were located where Spain is, for example ? Another thing I find interesting is this: when Poms in OZ say they want to return to the UK because they've discovered they're not that crazy about Australia --- it very often results in others choosing to take it personally, for some reason (either that, or Poms Returning to UK forums are thick with individuals who're actually working online for the UK or Australian governments). But go to the other ex-pat forums and you just don't find the same defensiveness, do you ? For example, when Brits write in other forums that they're sick of/disappointed in/ disillusioned with Spain or Italy or France and want OUT of there and want to get back the UK as fast as possible for whatever reason --- their opinions, reasoning, comments etc. are accepted at face value. They aren't subjected to hostility, ridicule, blame. They're not tarred with the 'whinging Pom' label by either the nationals of that country OR it's transplanted Poms. It seems that those nations desperate to increase their populations -- such as New Zealand, Australia, Canada -- are loathe to part with them, once they've got them pretty much trapped. Word association: ' honey trap', 'all that glitters is not gold', 'one man's meat is another's poison', 'no place like home' ' Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stovies Posted July 30, 2010 Share Posted July 30, 2010 Aww i really feel for you i do! But may i just ask you something!Have you always had the longing so strongly to go home since you touched australian soil, Or has the feeling come on all the stronger for meeting up with family etc, I only ask as going home may have just unsettled you and made you home sick and maybe a few weeks down the line, you will feel more at home in australia! This is exactly what happened to me. I went over for a few weeks recently and could think of nothing else but going 'home' after that (I have been in Oz for 12 years). Hang on for a few weeks and really re-evaluate your life here and how life would be back in the UK. Have a look on the net at the houses you could afford over there and how your lifestyle would be affected. I have been through it all and have come to the realisation that life is actually not bad here (especially for the children) and with yearly (or two yearly) visits back to Scotland, things will be okay. Remember... "wherever you go, there you are!" Meaning wherever you go, you will still be taking you with you. Best of luck with your decision. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest famousfive Posted July 31, 2010 Share Posted July 31, 2010 Burnett,your above post was excellent to read,it brought up some topics that a lot of couples simply brush under the carpet but as you say they need to be spoken of honestly and openly. We return home next year and I am thankful that we have very good communication and made two lists before we decided whether to return or not.One was purely a list of physical pros and cons,house,finances,etc..The other was more of a list of emotions,how we felt about living here,did we feel confidant in ourselves,were we really happy etc.. We wrote our lists independent of each other and then compared notes.Our kids are 8,9 and 10 and even though settled here they just seemed unsure in some ways so we asked them to write a list of what they would like to do-Our question to them was 'If you could do anything you wanted to do tomorrow,never mind the cost,what would it be?Write down 5 choices.' All three had return home on the list of top 5 [and one said she would like to meet santa too!],even though they were not told this was why we wanted the list,we did it as part of a game. My OH and I were pretty sure we wanted to leave and this confirmed it was the right decision. To the OP,I would strongly advise you both write your lists as honestly and truthfully as you can and go from there.The happiness of your family is too important to put on the long finger and should be top of the agenda now and at all times.Good luck and keep us posted if possible. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mrcatania Posted July 31, 2010 Share Posted July 31, 2010 Aww i really feel for you i do! But may i just ask you something! Have you always had the longing so strongly to go home since you touched australian soil, Or has the feeling come on all the stronger for meeting up with family etc, I only ask as going home may have just unsettled you and made you home sick and maybe a few weeks down the line, you will feel more at home in australia! Which ever way it is at least you have already discussed your options, which is good as your hubby knows how you are feeling! So therefor will be so much easier for you to approach again! x For me it has was more or less a week since touching Australian soil that these similar feelings set in. Been here a year and 5 days ( not like I'm counting!) and never has a day gone by, not one, when I have not regretted leaving friends / family, regretted leaving a job I loved, regretted leaving the familiarity and routine,that despite talking myself into thinking it was crap, wasn't really that bad. There is a 'solidity' of home which this place just does not have. I do not want to be like many on here who stick it out to the point of no return, and for that reason I have a flight booked in 4 months time to go back for Xmas and that will probably be it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
harrisj67 Posted July 31, 2010 Share Posted July 31, 2010 People will read some of these accounts and not fully appreciate the stories. I’d say most migrants leave their home with the intention of giving it a go in the land of their choice. It is only when they settle down and commence ‘living’ do they truly understand how they feel. Australia is a wonderful place, but it isn’t Britain. Culture is a part of one’s identity and it may take a journey to live in Australia to appreciate it. You either get over it, live with it or move on. It is sad to regret the decision of coming over here; I’d hope all return migrants have gained from the experience, even if it is to appreciate what the UK has to offer and feel more settled than before. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Conniebygaslight Posted July 31, 2010 Share Posted July 31, 2010 Culture is a part of one’s identity [/font] That is so true...I have never felt so British in my life-I feel like everything the UK has to offer good and bad runs through my veins...something I'd not even considered before. I knew that I'd miss friends etc but totally underestimated how much I'd just miss good old Blighty and to some extent I miss it more than the people-it's like a yearning to be part of the culture that I have always been part of. Less than 4 weeks.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Burnett Posted July 31, 2010 Share Posted July 31, 2010 Culture is a part of one’s identity [/font] That is so true...I have never felt so British in my life-I feel like everything the UK has to offer good and bad runs through my veins...something I'd not even considered before. I knew that I'd miss friends etc but totally underestimated how much I'd just miss good old Blighty and to some extent I miss it more than the people-it's like a yearning to be part of the culture that I have always been part of. Less than 4 weeks.... You may be a lot closer than you think Somewhere I have a book, written in the early 1900s by a British polymath type. As far as I know, he's not greatly recognised and the print-run wasn't great. Just one of those gems which appeared during that period - a summation of inherited & learned wisdom, a lifetime's observation and thought - by just one of so many people who used to pride themselves on their capacity to think, in that era. It's enclosed in one of those faded cloth-covers which you wouldn't look twice at these days It concerned itself primarily with the geography of Britain, the bedrock of Britain, the types of stone and rock which have held it in place through ice-ages, floods, submersions and vastly different climatic conditions (there are ancient coral reefs beneath the Artic, it's said - and what is now Britain was once a tropical zone, it's claimed, prior to the shifts and upheavals which have occurred throughout millions of years, which saw sabre-toothed tigers and polar-bears in what is now Malta, for example - their fossilised remains have been found there) Anyway, this British writer-philosopher whose name I've forgotten, said something I thankfully have not forgotten, and it's this: he said that we are links in a chain begun in the mists of time by our ancestors. This applies particularly to those whose ancestors remained for great lengths of time in particular areas of the UK. And as we know, many Brits are descended from forebears who remained in the one general location for several hundred years, up until very recently. Travel was not common then and it wasn't unusual for people to spend their entire lifetimes in one small village or hamlet. Most didn't venture more than 40 miles from their place of birth during their entire lifetimes The author explained that this was common in much of Britain, also that until relatively recently, people drank their water (and cooked in it - soups, broths, stews, etc.) from natural springs in their village. The village in which I was born still had one of these which flowed into a very old carved-stone trough (for passing horsemen, etc.). Attached by a sturdy chain to a large ring-bolt driven into the rock, was a metal cup for humans to hold beneath the constant stream of water. It was believed the metal from which the cup was made was resistant to the germs of plagues, so it had been there a long time Anyway, according to this long-forgotten writer, we (our bodies - our bones) are composed of the same minerals and naturally occuring inclusions as the rocks and landscapes in which our British ancestors lived, worked and died Some of us are descended from countless generations who lived in limestone country, for example. Others are descended from harder, harsher environments. Britain receives a lot of rain and much of this flows underground, from where it travels through layers of rock and compressed vegetation, etc., until it emerges in springs, streams, brooks. As it travels through all those filtering layers of rocks and grit and sand, it accumulates trace elements and minerals, which in turn have been laid down in the bodies and bones of our ancestors and then to ourselves. So in effect, we are part of the landscape, just as the trees, soil and rocks are This inherited connection to Britain can't be removed by a few generations who've moved to other parts of Britain or the Commonwealth. And it explains the yearning many of us feel to return to what 'feels' right, sometimes against all logic and certainly against 'science' The author I've mentioned stated his belief that we will never feel as 'right' anywhere else in the world, as we do to our own little part of Britain, be it ever so humble And this was repeated in another book I read, in which the author claimed that we are naturally 'attuned' to our region of birth But the most interesting of all, to me, is something I read in a popular book about wines, of all things. Don't really know how I came to be reading it in the first place. I think you'll find this bit as intriguing as I did. It relates to a particular sherry which in turn is only grown in a quite small & specific region in Portugal, I think. It used to be known, apparently, as 'the English sherry' - because it was favoured most of all by the English, who used to vie to purchase it at hotly-fought auctions, in advance of the crop even being harvested and sometimes, several years in advance. Ok, so much for that part. Now the fascinating element. This 'English sherry' was unique in its flavour and general properties -- but only when drunk in its own region. Makes you wonder why the English paid so much for it then, doesn't it -- must have been a superb drop, even in its lessened state. But did you hear that ? It LOST much of its unique flavour when removed from its own region, its land, its home - its roots Now how could that be ? Sherry is obtained from grapes. Does a grape have a brain ? Can a squashed and fermented grape feel 'homesick' ? How would the liquid obtained from thousands of individual squashed and fermented grapes even know it had been bottled and shipped across the seas ? How ? Science has no answer. But those who've transplanted themselves to the other side of the world -- who've detached from their ancestral roots -- know how that sherry feels, even if 'science' doesn't That poor 'English sherry' was so sad, felt so gutted, was so homesick for its home and bit of land -- that it lost its unique flavour Sure, other rums and wines and champagnes are transported around the world and many of them don't seem to care as they stand upright and confident in bottle shops the world over But there's one which loses heart when it's torn from its land -- the inappropriately-named ' English sherry' I think there's a lesson there for some of us - an explanation for so much that many have been unable to put into words. If simple grapes can feel it, then is it so surprising that we, as highly-intelligent and most advanced of all living creatures, should also know we've done ourselves spiritual damage by tearing up our roots for what we were taught to believe might be a 'better' life ? This doesn't apply to all who've emigrated to Australia, of course. But those to whom it does apply will understand the little story of the sherry Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
harrisj67 Posted July 31, 2010 Share Posted July 31, 2010 This thread has certainly taken on an interesting tack. In a similar vein, a good British ale never tastes as good as when it is poured from tap in a British pub! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Verulam Posted July 31, 2010 Share Posted July 31, 2010 Maybe that explains why my Aussie husband is so at home here in the UK LOL...his ancestors left Scotland in 1865 and his family remained in Australia ever since then. He will always love Australia, but feels "at home" here in the uK..especially when we travel up to Scotland. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Niaja Posted July 31, 2010 Share Posted July 31, 2010 Thank you for all your replies and advice. OH and I have been discussing going back lots since my post. He says that we gave the UK a chance before and it was horrible and that's why we left. I argued that we hadn't really given it much of a go and that people do have quality lives there too. Just before we left the UK 4 yrs ago, our baby was very sick and was in hospital for a week. All the wheels for moving here were in motion, but OH asked me if I still wanted to go. I told him I didn't but I would as I didn't want to regret not going. I agreed to give 4yrs (as our previous visa was 4yrs) and if I wanted to go back after that then we could. (all sounds way too simple!!) Anyway I reminded him of this today. All of his pros for here are financial, his salary, our house our car Oh and the beach. Which is all fantastic and I can't argue with any of that. But I can't change the way I feel either and it only gets worse. I just feel so isolated and far away. (which I am really) He made a comment about me being wrong to feel this way. I just said its not wrong to feel something different to you. I have suggested a trial UK stay maybe for a year. Also not tomorrow maybe next yr or the year after. But as long as it is a possibility I feel much happier. Keep our house and put our furniture in storage and just go to try life there again. I don't think that's too unreasonable. Then hopefully we will know for sure where we want to be. People move about the whole world all the time. It will be good for our children to experience life there. See snow etc and experience what we did as kids and most importantly have family nearby. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Conniebygaslight Posted July 31, 2010 Share Posted July 31, 2010 Maybe that explains why my Aussie husband is so at home here in the UK LOL...his ancestors left Scotland in 1865 and his family remained in Australia ever since then. He will always love Australia, but feels "at home" here in the uK..especially when we travel up to Scotland. Lol My Aussie husband can't wait to get back 'home' to the UK....less than 4 weeks Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest valleylass Posted July 31, 2010 Share Posted July 31, 2010 He made a comment about me being wrong to feel this way. I just said its not wrong to feel something different to you. Good for you for pointing this out, and it's probably an unhelpful comment for him to make. At least he didn't say you were 'mad' for wanting to go home, as a very close family member told me, and then backed this up with the following evidence: 'everyone thinks you are'. :goofy: Well that's me told then! Anyway just to reassure you I'm not mad, and you are clearly not wrong for feeling the way you do. Your plan sounds pretty well considered and a pragmatic one at that, best of luck with implementing it. valleylass Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest spongebob Posted July 31, 2010 Share Posted July 31, 2010 I am unhappy in the UK for various reasons and am trying to emigrate to OZ. Whilst I am waiting for the state migration plans to finally get sorted I have spent loads of time researching Australia. I have looked at various areas, house prices, schools, things to do in the areas, shopping prices etc I suggest you do the same as you probably did when originally leaving the UK to move to OZ, just do lots of research. That way you will be able to say to your OH look there are jobs, houses, nice beaches, schools etc at such and such a place. That way it is more factual not "emotional" which is how he probably sees it at the moment. I live in the south east of the UK, we are not renowned for our "sandy" beaches but have lots of rock beaches. House prices for a 3 bedroomed house is approx £250,000 upwards. Petrol is about £1.14 a litre, we have some very good schools but they do tend to be rather large. Depends what you are looking for so still advise doing the same research you would have done, just do it the other way round. I hope you find where you heart or your home lies whatever/where-ever that may be. Good luck. :hug: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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