Guest the stanleys Posted November 7, 2009 Share Posted November 7, 2009 Hi there well the adventure has begun and to be honest it has not got off to a good start. We landed last Tuesday tired but excited yet it all seems to have gone down hill since then. we have a holiday rental in the port stephens area but the likelihood of a more permanet one in this area is looking doubtful. We have therefore decided to look in and around Newcastle ( better for work for me). But i just can't seem to get excited I just want to cry all the time and to be honest if anyone offered me a ticket back home I wound snatch it off them and be on my way. I know we have not been here long enough to form a proper impression and all it seems to have done is rain. yet I just don't seem to be feeling it. It has always been my dream to live here and I feel sort of let down. I also feel I have let my family down too. I am already dreading christmas. I am desperate to love it but as I feel now I think we will be heading back within the year. Is there anyone in the Newcastle area who can give us help or advice?? We have 3 young boys (8,6,3) who need friends, a school and some structure not to mention a bit of fun. Oh yes and parents who need some adult conversation!! I am sorry If this is rambling but I just need to get it off my chest, I just hope we haven't made the biggest mistake of our lives. Well off to get ready now, another day of house hunting ahead!! Thanks for taking the time to read this Love the Stanleys xx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest30085 Posted November 7, 2009 Share Posted November 7, 2009 :hug: Hi to the Stanleys Ahhh try not to feel too down. Its a big change - hopefully things will start to come together and you wont feel so lost. Think of us here in the constant cold and wet and when you get a nice warm sunny day it will cheer you up. Just noticed there is another thread with two other couples who are new to the Newcastle area - it might be worth dropping them an email. Best of luck x Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest30085 Posted November 7, 2009 Share Posted November 7, 2009 Am lovin the land down under!!!!! This should take you to the other thread hopefully Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Quoll Posted November 7, 2009 Share Posted November 7, 2009 They do reckon that the first 6 weeks are the worst. Look at it as a big adventure and put a time frame on your distress - if you still feel this way in 6 months then weigh up your options otherwise take every day as it comes and dont agonize about whether this is a mistake or not. Nothing is forever if you dont want it to be. Good luck with homes and jobs and schools etc - you have set yourself an enormous task to be kind to yourself and take it one step at a time. :hug: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest quigs Posted November 7, 2009 Share Posted November 7, 2009 I know it is very difficult but you are suffering from severe culture shock which is very very normal. Try not to panic and develop some backbone but to suggest after a week you may go come in a year after uprooting your children is very defeatist and unfair to put them on this emotional roller-coaster without thinking I will give it my all for 2 years. Your mood will rub of on them. If you give it two years and you still don't like it then thats fair enough but any article on emigration will advise it takes minimum 2 years to start to settle properly. I have been where you are twice before and threatened to run to the airport a few times and you will have many trials and tribulations but at the end of one year 90% of the stress will have passed. Things that where unfamiliar, odd will feel familiar and you wont notice half the things that bother you now. Sort your location and accommodation out move where there is more action i.e. a city. I think this is limiting your choices and if it isn't great you are judging Australia on one week and ONE location. Good luck I hope things get easier but you have to work at building a new life. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
skippy Posted November 8, 2009 Share Posted November 8, 2009 Stanleys, it is not uncommon to be feeling the way you do at this time, I went through the same feelings after I had been here only a couple of weeks, we are now in our 39th year and love it. A lot depends on the location you choose for a start, from memory, Port Stephens is a holiday destination, so there is very little work, unless you work in a cafe or something like that, so you would probably be better getting something nearer to the city. Newcastle and Wollongong are very similar, they are just two of the places that Yorkshire people came to in the early years to work in the mines or steelworks, but unfortunately there isn't as much going on in those industries nowadays. Once you get into your own rental property, things will start falling into place and you will start meeting people and feel more settled, it does take at least 2 years before you start to adjust, so give it a while longer before you make any decisions about returning to your roots, or you may regret it in later years. We left Sheffield with 5 weeks wages and 2 kids, because everything went wrong for us, [Long Story] then we finished up where we didn't want to be, so I decided to work and save, enjoy an extended holiday, and then return after our 2 years were up. We lived in a furnished home for the first 12 months, and I earned more in that time than I had ever earned in my life, I felt settled at that time, so we bought all new furniture and put it in storage until we raised a deposit on a new home, but after a bad bout of homesickness, I turned to the drink, nearly killed myself by drink driving and we lost everything. After being off work for more than a year because of the accident, instead of returning to the Old Dart, we decided to start all over again, but without the drinking, 5 years later we moved into our own new home, and have been here ever since, I returned to see my ageing mother in 92, which made me realise why we had come to Oz in the first place, and I've never been homesick since. Unfortunately the weather has been a bit wet lately, but we have no control over nature, we've had 6 couples come to stay with us from Sheffield over the past 2 years, none of them wanted to go home, so it's horses for courses. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
johnd Posted November 8, 2009 Share Posted November 8, 2009 sorry you are feeling down, we too didnt get 'it' when we arrived and over the last couple of years we still dont feel like we get 'it', thats the reason we are going back to the uk next year. we both dont feel like we would ever settle here, but i would definatley do it all again as its been a life experience,good and bad, i have learnt things about myself and my wife i never knew, good and bad. we have been here 2 and a half years and have had enough, i would strongly reccomend skippys advice and treat it like a working holiday then after a couple of years you can look at the situation again, believe me 2 years will fly, then you can fly , or stay, best of luck. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted November 8, 2009 Share Posted November 8, 2009 Hey its tough no doubt about it. Especially if things dont go according to plan. Im here in newie with the husband and four lads so it cant all be bad :biglaugh: Gimmie a yell if I can help at all Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pdr222 Posted November 8, 2009 Share Posted November 8, 2009 Hi I'm im newcastle we've been here for 6 months and it's only just started raining this much suposed to get better by wednesday. Sorry your feeling so bad but it is such a stressfull move i've only just started to settle and make freinds now can't wait for the summer. I hated looking at rental propertys but the good thing about renting is you don't have to stay in the propery you first choose. Where are you looking at in newcastle? it's a nice place to live and loads to do with the kids I have two boys 6 and 2 and they're loving it here. If you want any advice feel free to message me I know the area quite well now could meet up if you like hope you feel better soon Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest sarebear Posted November 8, 2009 Share Posted November 8, 2009 Hi, i know exactly where you are coming from. I've only been here 2 weeks & have felt like crying every day. I'm just hoping that once we get a longer term rental, our container arrives & our dog is released from quarantine, i will start to feel better. Just thought I'd let you know that you are not alone! Hi therewell the adventure has begun and to be honest it has not got off to a good start. We landed last Tuesday tired but excited yet it all seems to have gone down hill since then. we have a holiday rental in the port stephens area but the likelihood of a more permanet one in this area is looking doubtful. We have therefore decided to look in and around Newcastle ( better for work for me). But i just can't seem to get excited I just want to cry all the time and to be honest if anyone offered me a ticket back home I wound snatch it off them and be on my way. I know we have not been here long enough to form a proper impression and all it seems to have done is rain. yet I just don't seem to be feeling it. It has always been my dream to live here and I feel sort of let down. I also feel I have let my family down too. I am already dreading christmas. I am desperate to love it but as I feel now I think we will be heading back within the year. Is there anyone in the Newcastle area who can give us help or advice?? We have 3 young boys (8,6,3) who need friends, a school and some structure not to mention a bit of fun. Oh yes and parents who need some adult conversation!! I am sorry If this is rambling but I just need to get it off my chest, I just hope we haven't made the biggest mistake of our lives. Well off to get ready now, another day of house hunting ahead!! Thanks for taking the time to read this Love the Stanleys xx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest The Bishop's Posted November 9, 2009 Share Posted November 9, 2009 Hi Stanleys Take a deep breath and try and relax and think positive it hard i know but things will get better. First think why you wanted to come here and secondly you have made a big move and a big life change for you and your family for the better. You say you have holiday rental how long is this for? Take your time looking around the area to see where you think you would be happy renting then look at finding work. Once you have a job you can then decide which area would be best for you and your family. Look at schools for the boys go and have a look round them to see which one suits them and get them enrolled asap so they can make friends and you will make friends too, i did in the first week my son Kieran started school i got to now two moms of the friends Kieran made and we great friends now. Australia is different to Uk so if you start to compare Australia with Uk you may find it a little disappointing but if you keep an open mind and think right we here now we are going to make the most of it you will be fine. It does rain here a fair bit but also there are very hot days and you pray for rain LOL.We have been told the summer gets really hot. We have been here in winter and it does get cold too and we even have frosts which i was surprised about because i thought Australia was hot all year round but they do have seasons just like uk. We have been here now 8 months and love it we have all settled into our new life here great and with no regrets. We live in Kurri Kurri NSW. We did arrive here with a job waiting for OH and a house rental so that was a big help but saying that it was still very strange coming here and living somewhere we did not know or know anyone but we got through it and i'm sure you will too, just think positive. When we arrived we got off the plane, checked into our hotel (has we had to sort out rental agreement and plus house was not ready for us to into straight away) we dumped our bags and went car hunting and brought one. Two days later we moved into our house with no furniture just our clothes and airbeds. After a week of sleeping on airbeds though we went out and brought a bed. We brought a table and chairs from a charity shop and a tv off ebay to tide us over until our furniture arrived (4 months later) that was the worst time waiting for our things to arrive. Sorry for rambling on but i'm sure when the shock, tiredness, and worry about Job, finding somewhere to live and schools sorted you can take a step back and say to yourself what did i worry about. Make the most of being here don't give up at the first thing that goes wrong. Lifestyle for your boys and will be much better here my boys love outdoor life. Hope this helps a little, good luck with everything and if you want any help with anything just pm me Jo Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ck10_9 Posted November 9, 2009 Share Posted November 9, 2009 Hi You just need to get yourselves a bit settled and get into a routine. I know this is said all the time... but it really does take some time to adjust and get a clear view on things. The weather will clear up and you may see it all in a new light Chin up and good luck Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest markytina Posted November 9, 2009 Share Posted November 9, 2009 Hey! How u feelin now? We've been here 4 months now and that weekend was the most its rained? When it rains, it rains!!!lol And the aussies call it a shower??? I found it really hard the 1st few months!! I nearly went home twice!!! But i think the reason was i never had a routine. It felt like a holiday to me and i was ready to go home, but deep down i knew i couldn't, cause there is no home back in Scotland anymore. We both have full time jobs now. But that took a while to find the right one's. So now we're saving up a deposit for a house. I really hope the way ur feeling passes. Newcastle is a great wee city! Its so diverse. U have the wine valleys and the beaches are amazing. The sunset at Bar Beach has to be seen!!! Plus Sydney is less than a 2 hour drive. Please feel free to contact us at anytime! There is people here who will try and help. Take Care xxx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Matt & Sarah Posted November 10, 2009 Share Posted November 10, 2009 Stick with it and see how you get on. I've never really been super close or tied to family in UK so I was expecting to arrive in Oz super excited (I was) and have no problems, but for the first 2 or 3 weeks I was pretty homesick. I couldn't even put my finger on what was wrong, but I wasn't sure I'd want to stick it out. Now it didn't help that I'd caught a bug on the plane and was sick as a dog, but you get my drift. For most people, as you get settled in though, take in your surroundings, build up your 'daily life' routine and most of all, adjust to Australian life, it fades and is replaced with more of the excitement you had before you arrived. We've now been here just over 15 months and love it. Not just Australia, but the area of Newcastle & the Hunter. Sarah is a Dr and most of her colleagues live towards the city or the beach suburbs, which are definitely beautiful locations. However, we were told by a friendly nurse to have a look at the eastern suburbs of Lake Macquarie, which we promptly did. Warners Bay (where we live), Eleebana, Speers Point (among others) are less than half an hour from Newcastle center, the lake is gorgeous, lots of parks and area for the kids and stuff to do, both free and paid. The rents are generally cheaper than towards the city too. And those beaches I mentioned? 20 minutes drive, that's all. Less to some of them, like Dudley or Redhead. From November to March, a band (different one each week) plays each friday night in the band stand on the Esplanade in Warners Bay. Locals and visitors alike set themselves up on the grass, picnic blankets or even tables & chairs, often with their dinner to watch the band and enjoy the evening sun. This is the kind of free, social, community driven fun you can look forward to in Oz. As everyone has said, settle in a bit and see how the family goes. You might still find you love it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest the stanleys Posted November 10, 2009 Share Posted November 10, 2009 Thanks you to everyone for your wise words and support. I have actually had a much more positive two days. I have met my manager (to be) and will be starting work in 3 weeks. We have also found a couple of areas where we feel we would like to live. we also had a look around a school today. Rentals are still very few and far between but we have a viewing of on on friday, so fingers crossed. Don't get me wrong I probably still could go back but the deep feelings of homesickness (totally unexpected I must add) seem to have lifted. We all need to look forward now and I am paticually looking forward to some day to day rounine. Both for myself and my husband but also my 3 boys, who I must add are loving what they see so far. So thank you everyone I am sure i will pull through Karen xx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest siamsusie Posted November 10, 2009 Share Posted November 10, 2009 Thats wonderful Karen, I am sure in months to come you will be giving new starters some great advice on how to "overcome". It's like starting a new school, scary! Keep us posted and so pleased your doing better today Best wishes ss x Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted November 10, 2009 Share Posted November 10, 2009 Glad to hear you sounding a bit more upbeat :hug: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest scotty58 Posted November 10, 2009 Share Posted November 10, 2009 I have been here 7 years. Christmas & New Year are the worst times for me. Went back last Xmas and if I am totally honest could not live back there. A trip back soons sorts out your home sickness. I loved the shopping though. We go back every 3 years. As we have still all our family there. I am feeling extra sad this time as we have just had ourdog put to sleep. Lavina Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest siamsusie Posted November 10, 2009 Share Posted November 10, 2009 I have been here 7 years. Christmas & New Year are the worst times for me. Went back last Xmas and if I am totally honest could not live back there. A trip back soons sorts out your home sickness. I loved the shopping though. We go back every 3 years. As we have still all our family there. I am feeling extra sad this time as we have just had ourdog put to sleep. Lavina :hug: ss x Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sleepywombat Posted November 10, 2009 Share Posted November 10, 2009 Hi Karen & The Stanleys! I hope things are continuing to look up for you. Just to cheer you further - I'm not that far south of Sheffield and its foggy, raining and with temperatures in the single figures... AND they are starting further roadworks on the M1 next week - Tibshelf to J30... they might not have affected you but just to remind you that it really could be worse!!! Keep your chins up, focus on exploring your new area and things will certainly have a way of working out for you all HTH Cx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sykestykes Posted November 10, 2009 Share Posted November 10, 2009 Thanks you to everyone for your wise words and support. I have actually had a much more positive two days. I have met my manager (to be) and will be starting work in 3 weeks. We have also found a couple of areas where we feel we would like to live. we also had a look around a school today. Rentals are still very few and far between but we have a viewing of on on friday, so fingers crossed. Don't get me wrong I probably still could go back but the deep feelings of homesickness (totally unexpected I must add) seem to have lifted. We all need to look forward now and I am paticually looking forward to some day to day rounine. Both for myself and my husband but also my 3 boys, who I must add are loving what they see so far. So thank you everyone I am sure i will pull through Karen xx I'm so glad you are feeling brighter now Karen. I think you will feel alot more settled when you start work and begin to meet new people. My OH said when he started his job he felt much more like he belonged here and he settled much quicker than I have, and I firmly believe that's because he's working and I'm not (not for the lack of trying, I hasten to add :cute:) I think such alot of us goes into making the actual move, we don't always have much time to consider how we will cope when we get here. Of course, we know it will be hard work but there's such alot that needs doing in a short space of time when you arrive - and without that familiar support network around you it can hit you very hard. I hope you enjoy your new job and continue to feel better as time goes by.:hug: Sue x Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest The Bishop's Posted November 10, 2009 Share Posted November 10, 2009 Glad to here you are thinking more possitive and good luck with everything and see the weather is getting too. Jo Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest KAS Posted November 12, 2009 Share Posted November 12, 2009 :chatterbox:Hi The Stanleys, I totally understand where you are coming from we arrived in Newcastle 11 months ago and I hated it I cried everynight desparately wanting to go home,the children were missing their friends we knew no one. We are now living In Eleebana and my children love it they never want to go home!! but we are going back next year for a holiday to get it out of my system and to do some shopping which I also miss!!!! Everyday does get better keep thinking what you have come here for in the first place.I still get bad days it's only to be expected, I hit a rough patch recently when a good friend of mine went home after 9 months as her and eldest daughter didn't settle. I've met up with pdr222 a few times after school with the children so if you want to meet new friends who know exactly what you're going through just shout, it's good to talk!! Karen XXX Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Loopy Loo Posted December 2, 2009 Share Posted December 2, 2009 Hi therewell the adventure has begun and to be honest it has not got off to a good start. We landed last Tuesday tired but excited yet it all seems to have gone down hill since then. we have a holiday rental in the port stephens area but the likelihood of a more permanet one in this area is looking doubtful. We have therefore decided to look in and around Newcastle ( better for work for me). But i just can't seem to get excited I just want to cry all the time and to be honest if anyone offered me a ticket back home I wound snatch it off them and be on my way. I know we have not been here long enough to form a proper impression and all it seems to have done is rain. yet I just don't seem to be feeling it. It has always been my dream to live here and I feel sort of let down. I also feel I have let my family down too. I am already dreading christmas. I am desperate to love it but as I feel now I think we will be heading back within the year. Is there anyone in the Newcastle area who can give us help or advice?? We have 3 young boys (8,6,3) who need friends, a school and some structure not to mention a bit of fun. Oh yes and parents who need some adult conversation!! I am sorry If this is rambling but I just need to get it off my chest, I just hope we haven't made the biggest mistake of our lives. Well off to get ready now, another day of house hunting ahead!! Thanks for taking the time to read this Love the Stanleys xx Hi the Stanleys, When I read your message, my heart went out to you. I have moved countries twice and am looking to move to NSW next year if all works out. I empathise totally with how you feel and when I went to South Africa in 1998 for 8 years I also felt so detached from everyone and everything. You've got to look at this as being a life adventure, something that you were brave enough to start and brave enough to see through. You have achieved so much already, don't give it all up now. Wait a little, make some friends and if you really can't get to grips with it all, then at least you can say you gave it a fair try. Maybe I will feel the same when I get there, but at the moment I'm looking at this as a wonderful opportunity and another experience to add to my life's history book. Don't be too hard on yourselves, you've already come so far (excuse the pun). Hang on in there ! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
andromeda9 Posted December 2, 2009 Share Posted December 2, 2009 know exactly how you feel,reading this made me smile and would like to give you a hug,i cried every day,week after week,after nine months went back alone to be with family left behind and friends, had a blast loved it,went out to all my familiar places everyday,thought i had better return after nine months had gone by as my OH had been so good he didnt go back with me as he just loved it here,friends we had made were thinking that I would not return,but return i did and have loved it ever since,no incline at all to return to the UK ,maybe a visit will be good and a trip to Spain ,Australia is a beautiful country,feel blessed to have had the opportunity to live here as the Australians say,give it a fair go,the kids will love it Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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