Leaving six weeks today

[Guest valleylass]

If we hate it in OZ we may return, but I would rather try it and hate it, rather than live and regret it.

Absolutely, you'll never never know if you never ever go. Which is why these threads exist, to thrash out what went wrong or isn't working and to hopefully be without regret.

 

Hope it works out well for you in Byron Bay

 

valleylass

[Petals]

Returning to UK after a long time is very difficult I believe, a lot that return are disappointed as family have their own lives to live and once the newness of a family member returning has passed they return to their lives. Their lives are involved with the friends they have made over years whilst the migrants have been away and often there is no room in their lives for us when we return. We get to go to family dos etc that is all but are left on a limb with no friends or friends who have also moved on in their lives. Our children are not happy returning as they have made a new life in Australia.

 

Wanting to return never leaves anyone, we all yearn for our youth and childhood memories, however reality is often very different.

 

Yes its expensive in Australia and unis and schooling is perceived as not up to scratch however that is not true, its up to how clever the individual is and if our children are just average they are average wherever they live. Everyone heads off to uni these days and in my view that is the dumbing down of university education. Made to fit the masses these days.

 

Its also hard when one hate it here and one does not, who gives in.

 

We are off to the uk for two and half months in a few weeks, no doubt I will feel like a fish out of water at first, then I get used to it then I think, oh maybe we should return. Then reality sets in and I realise this is not the real world this is a holiday.

 

A lot of people come back here after returning to the UK.

 

Another point is that our relatives are all aging and Aunt Mary is not the vibrant person you used to know. They pop off very soon after we return and the next generation are not interested in us because we have been away too long.

 

Good luck in the search of shangrila it actually exists everyday wherever you are if you let it.

[scousers]

What a great post, i think the one thing people do forget is that they are starting over, so if you can remember that you will be ok. Remember you have no history here, so you will need to work at making friends, and the first ones you meet may not be right, but don't let that put you off. I have ended up being friends with people who i would not have even crossed paths with in the UK. Aussies are friendly enough you just have to make more of an effort. I wish you all the best, you have the right attitude to make it work.

[Guest chris955]

I think if the only reason people return is family and friends it may not be enough IF they have been away a long time.

My personal reasons for wanting to return to the UK are many and varied and include friends, history, architecture, sense of humour, the enormous number of 'things' we can do and my 2 major hobbies are better catered for over there.

[Guest joannaplus4]

All citys/towns have bad areas, but also good ones....Sydney is a beautiful city and I wouldn't change my life for anything. Life is what you make it...

 

Obviously the same as the UK. Manly is where I lived, husband was born and brought up on the North Shores and yes it is a wonderful place to live.

[20yrspommie]

Returning to UK after a long time is very difficult I believe, a lot that return are disappointed as family have their own lives to live and once the newness of a family member returning has passed they return to their lives. Their lives are involved with the friends they have made over years whilst the migrants have been away and often there is no room in their lives for us when we return. We get to go to family dos etc that is all but are left on a limb with no friends or friends who have also moved on in their lives. Our children are not happy returning as they have made a new life in Australia.

 

Wanting to return never leaves anyone, we all yearn for our youth and childhood memories, however reality is often very different.

 

Yes its expensive in Australia and unis and schooling is perceived as not up to scratch however that is not true, its up to how clever the individual is and if our children are just average they are average wherever they live. Everyone heads off to uni these days and in my view that is the dumbing down of university education. Made to fit the masses these days.

 

Its also hard when one hate it here and one does not, who gives in.

 

We are off to the uk for two and half months in a few weeks, no doubt I will feel like a fish out of water at first, then I get used to it then I think, oh maybe we should return. Then reality sets in and I realise this is not the real world this is a holiday.

 

A lot of people come back here after returning to the UK.

 

Another point is that our relatives are all aging and Aunt Mary is not the vibrant person you used to know. They pop off very soon after we return and the next generation are not interested in us because we have been away too long.

 

Good luck in the search of shangrila it actually exists everyday wherever you are if you let it.

 

Its true alot of what you say I can imagine lots of people return, its a hard slog starting again. My experience with family is not like that though they have been great including us in everything and trying really hard to add us into their lives. I have a few close friends also from school etc so have kept in touch and thats been great, my son is struggling and its hard with a nearly 13yrs old to make new family friends like we had before in sydney , I think by now everyone has already established their friends with their kids and also kids here his age seem so much more grown up than in Sydney IMHO.

[mrcatania]

I have always said that a recession only affects people that lose their jobs, other than that really no-one would know if their country was in a recession. None of my friends over there have lost their jobs and it seems to be business as usual.

Quite. I never knew there was a recession at all, it never affected me in the slightest. Nor did it to any of my friends. Infact, because of the interest rates their mortgage was now way cheaper than my rent which annoyed me a bit.

Everything was cheaper. Supermarkets were doing alot of 2-4-1s, loads of sales in the shops.... airfares.... oh, airfares...... you could get a return flight to Oz for GBP350 return all in. The whole country was acting like everyone was out a job and desperate for cash. I was only on GBP21k a year... and loving it. I certainly was not running away from a recession like many people indicate on here. OK, I know if you had sadly been made redundant and finding work difficult then it may be a whole different ball game, and that may be the case us potential returnees may face who knows. Word has it that the economy is much better now.

[olly]

Hi

Thanks for the good wishes, we came as seemed a good time to make the move various reasons OH made redundant , son about to start HS , favourable exchange rate and wanting to spend time with family whilst they were all still okay. we have done that and they have tried really hard and I do feel part of their lives now I see my mum once, twice a week and its great, same for my sister . I didnt expect it to be the same as 20yrs ago not sure if that comment was aimed at me I dont know what I expected really I knew it would be hard its not as if we were really miserable in australia, Hindsight of course is a wonderful thing and there are some things I really like about the UK like the beautiful countryside but we all feel really out of place here so I am not sure if we will stay especially as the job situation is so bad.

 

You took a brave decision 20yrspommie, at least you are thinking through what is best for you and your family, all the best of luck with it, it can't be easy for you. I waited 20 years to go back to the UK and found myself torn about many things as well.

[Zack]

Well hope all goes well for you back in the UK......Personally after 38 years in the UK we must get out of this sinking country.. You say no recession, The UK is borrowing £450.000.000 (million) a day....To pay off the banks debt will take 28 years, thats not what i want to pass onto my kids..I earn £25K a year and pay over £8k in tax and thats going up....I have been a plumber for 22 years and struggling to get a job, I'm classed as to old...got plenty of experience, but not interested. I have a job in Byron $80k a year, good weather, wife earning in OZ $45k....

If we hate it in OZ we may return, but I would rather try it and hate it, rather than live and regret it.

 

All the best.

 

Mike

Yeah i suppose your right u have to give it a go.Australia is not in recession.But they are borrowing $1 Billion aweek to pay off the debt they are in.You say the uk is sinking.But the only thing keeping Aus afloat is the minerals they sell to China @ India People here are saying Australia will never pay off it's debt.They don't want to pass on the debt to thier kids. Thier kids will never be able to afford to buy a house in Aus.And the cost of liveing is sky rocketing.A ordinary 3 bed house will soon be $1million.On the news the other day.People have been arqueing the piont for years.In the end people do what suites them.Amen.

[Guest chris955]

Yes I'm not sure why some people use the UK debt situation as a reason NOT to be there but again seemingly ignore this country being more or less in the same position. The absurd assertion that the UK is sinking no doubt helps some distance themselves from what they left behind.

[mrsindecision]

I see some of the comments made by petals as being true - but for us we haven't been gone that long so family and friends will still be there they have been part of the journey with us - part of thinking we should go back now is that it wont be long before we do just become those relatives in Australia and I dont want that for me or my kids. You only get one life and not to share it with those you dearly love now seems frankly quite ridiculous - I dont know what I was thinking. Home is also for me about more than friends and family its about opportunity for OH and myself, culture, humour and the weather (seasons) as well as normal everyday crap - the variety and texture of life there as compared to here - which is the same all the time. Also reading about the high drink, drugs and suicide rate in Aus among young people when it is meant to be utopia must beg some questions. My view is that kids drfit along too much aren't given real challenges and aims and therefore dont get to experience the highs and lows of life that come from striving for achievement - perhaps Aussie's laid back life is starting to bite itself in the bum and is now an unchallenging, unstimulating environment for young people? Interested in others views on this?

[Guest Mr Happy]

Might be unchallenging, unstimulating where you live but it sure isn''t here. Our 11yr old has more on her plate than she can realistically handle. Some pruning is in order for her and a new horse hasn't helped. Generalisations here are rife, I wish it would cease.

[mrcatania]

I see some of the comments made by petals as being true - but for us we haven't been gone that long so family and friends will still be there they have been part of the journey with us - part of thinking we should go back now is that it wont be long before we do just become those relatives in Australia and I dont want that for me or my kids. You only get one life and not to share it with those you dearly love now seems frankly quite ridiculous - I dont know what I was thinking. Home is also for me about more than friends and family its about opportunity for OH and myself, culture, humour and the weather (seasons) as well as normal everyday crap - the variety and texture of life there as compared to here - which is the same all the time. Also reading about the high drink, drugs and suicide rate in Aus among young people when it is meant to be utopia must beg some questions. My view is that kids drfit along too much aren't given real challenges and aims and therefore dont get to experience the highs and lows of life that come from striving for achievement - perhaps Aussie's laid back life is starting to bite itself in the bum and is now an unchallenging, unstimulating environment for young people? Interested in others views on this?

Not having a family myself, I can't personally relate to schools/ kids here v UK..... However I can see first hand that there is a lot of dossers /surf/ skate culture here. If you google the word 'bogan' there is a humerous website describing them, how they look, dress, houses they live in and what they drive.... I have to say that it can just about describe any street I go down around here in the suburbs of Melbourne. Unless you have lots of $$ and live in a wealthy area it is very much part of life and the norm here that your average tourist does not get to see. I'm not saying you don't get chavs in the UK, but what is the point in moving to the other side of the world just to get the same mentality of people?

Also just to finish, anyone been on a train out of Flinders street after 10pm???? I can not describe the characters that use the train at that time of night. I have witnessed unsavoury and quite bluntly 'simple' individuals on the Craigieburn line 100% of the time, without fail. It is worse than the London Underground.

[mrsindecision]

Might be unchallenging, unstimulating where you live but it sure isn''t here. Our 11yr old has more on her plate than she can realistically handle. Some pruning is in order for her and a new horse hasn't helped. Generalisations here are rife, I wish it would cease.

 

Not trying to generalise and accept your viewpoint entirely - just posing the question about the high suicide and alcohol rate that I dont think is limited to regional Australia. Also if my kids were 11 they too would have plenty to do here - I am afraid its when they get to 17+ that it starts to change - I teach and work in unis all over Aus and see it reflected back to me frequently from the most able to the least able - a general lack of direction and purpose - the european kids that are on campus are light years ahead. Anyway not wishing to start an online barny just posing a thought.

[Guest MSTO]

You only get one life and not to share it with those you dearly love now seems frankly quite ridiculous - I dont know what I was thinking.

I can totally relate to this, not having grandparents, aunts, uncles and cousins not part of my childrens life feels to me very strange. After 5 years away I know my family will include us and we will be part of their lives. My parents have just been here for 4 weeks and in that time it felt like we had never been apart for so long it was just like old times. In saying that people do move on and I dont want us to be living in each others pockets but to be a part of their life so be it on a weekly, twice monthly basis anything is better than the 2-3 year involvment they have in their lives right now.

[Guest Mr Happy]

A good thought too I might say...s

[Guest chris955]

I most definitely agree with this statement, some of the things I read are just incredible. 'UK streets not safe to walk down' what, all of them ? I even remember someone on here saying 'I make a new friend every time I go for a walk over here' and my favourite 'In the UK a sofa costs 500 quid' :biggrin:

Generalisations here are rife, I wish it would cease.

[Paul1Perth]

Not trying to generalise and accept your viewpoint entirely - just posing the question about the high suicide and alcohol rate that I dont think is limited to regional Australia. Also if my kids were 11 they too would have plenty to do here - I am afraid its when they get to 17+ that it starts to change - I teach and work in unis all over Aus and see it reflected back to me frequently from the most able to the least able - a general lack of direction and purpose - the european kids that are on campus are light years ahead. Anyway not wishing to start an online barny just posing a thought.

 

The european kids that are on campus are probably an interesting and stimulated bunch anyway. They have had the foresight to move over here and study. The Australian students you have are probably living at home, have a fairly easy life and are quite happy with being "laid back" and not worrying about "direction" and "purpose".

The Eoropean students have already got direction and purpose as they are removed from the home environment and have to fend for themselves.

I find the Uni experience in the UK totally different from here. Most people move away from home and live in student accomodation for a couple of years where they develop some direction and purpose and generally grow up a bit.

My son is 20, didn't go to uni like most of his mates but did an apprenticeship as an electrician. He gets up at 6:15 and gets himself out to work every day, seems very well adjusted, has bought himself a XR6 turbo ute and takes care of insurance and everything else that goes along with running it. Doesn't ask us for money or much help with anything and I'm sure he'll move into adulthood and be fine.

How many 17-20 year olds know what they want to do anywhere? They are still growing and finding there way in the world. I still think Aus has a lot more opportunity than the UK. I have a nephew a year younger than my Son who has not had a job since leaving school. He is on his third "training" prgram paid for by the government and still no sign of a job. I have a niece two years older than my son who has done a 7 year architecture degree and can't get a job. All she has to show for it is a massive bank loan which she will spend the next 10 years trying to pay off. Her elder sister is a teacher but is still paying off her loan from when at Uni. She hates the job too as she works near Leicester and most of the students speak 'pidgin' English. That's how she explained it anyway.

when growing up my Son has played Aussie rules football, soccer, modcross, been a member of the local surf club since age 7 and has had heaps more sporting opportunities her than he would have in the UK. He has been on a few paid trips over East with the surf club to compete in carnivals and even though he has now given most of that away, due to work commitments, still does a lot of sport to keep fit.

In contrast his cousins in the UK are great at playing nintendo, WII and playstation but are overweight and unfit.

I took them for a bike ride when they were on holiday here and I've never met a couple of kids so unfit.

As for the alcohol problems and yob culture we've been back to the UK on holiday a couple of times and it's heaps worse there.

Jeez, I didn't mean to write this much when I started. Sorry for the ramble.

[Paul1Perth]

Yeah i suppose your right u have to give it a go.Australia is not in recession.But they are borrowing $1 Billion aweek to pay off the debt they are in.You say the uk is sinking.But the only thing keeping Aus afloat is the minerals they sell to China @ India People here are saying Australia will never pay off it's debt.They don't want to pass on the debt to thier kids. Thier kids will never be able to afford to buy a house in Aus.And the cost of liveing is sky rocketing.A ordinary 3 bed house will soon be $1million.On the news the other day.People have been arqueing the piont for years.In the end people do what suites them.Amen.

 

Quote "Thier kids will never be able to afford to buy a house in Aus" This will never come to pass as the housing market has to keep moving. There has to be a tipping point, both here and the UK, where prices are just too high for people to afford and a correction has to come. I think this is why there are a lot of threads in this forum which deal with people wanting to emigrate but are unable to sell their house. Maybe the tipping point is here already but people selling will always want to make money and ask for a high selling price. We have seen prices in the states falling like a stone so there is nothing to say that it can't happen in other places. Especially as it's not as easy to borrow money now and there are no more 100% mortgages.

[20yrspommie]

I see some of the comments made by petals as being true - but for us we haven't been gone that long so family and friends will still be there they have been part of the journey with us - part of thinking we should go back now is that it wont be long before we do just become those relatives in Australia and I dont want that for me or my kids. You only get one life and not to share it with those you dearly love now seems frankly quite ridiculous - I dont know what I was thinking. Home is also for me about more than friends and family its about opportunity for OH and myself, culture, humour and the weather (seasons) as well as normal everyday crap - the variety and texture of life there as compared to here - which is the same all the time. Also reading about the high drink, drugs and suicide rate in Aus among young people when it is meant to be utopia must beg some questions. My view is that kids drfit along too much aren't given real challenges and aims and therefore dont get to experience the highs and lows of life that come from striving for achievement - perhaps Aussie's laid back life is starting to bite itself in the bum and is now an unchallenging, unstimulating environment for young people? Interested in others views on this?

 

I agree about the family thing , that was the main reason we came back as I felt after 20yrs in Oz I really wanted to spend some time with them (parents ) whist they are still in good health . Also we also use to come back here always to see everyone as with australia veing so far away - I was totally sick of doing that . Regarding the variety and texture of life , yes in some ways it feels like you are more in the thick of everything here and the variety of seasons yes its true sometimes all in the one day!

There is lots to like about life here , but now I am here I feel I can appreciate more of the laid back life in Australia , we lived close to the city and my son could get around easily to see his friends and had lots going on . He says his social life has gone now we are here and its true it has apart from his cousins he is struggling with new friends at the moment. we are living now in the countryside so although pretty its quiet and the kids he goes to school with are all spread . He joined a local cricket club and football team so hopefully things will change soon . I guess alot depends on where you are too . For me sometimes I think yes I can do this it will work out and others I really miss my old life so much I could go back tommorow , on a day like today what i wouldnt give to go to my local cafe and have a great coffee sitting outside and having a natter with a friend :arghh:

[mrcatania]

Coming home to a recession.....im leaving the UK in 6 months for OZ......Its not like the England from 20 years ago....I bet you wont stay more than 18 months....but good luck anyway.

 

Mike

What was great about Britain in the 1990's anyway ?? Anyone want to explain this? It is a far better and more modern place to be now than back then! Sorry, but Australia was even more behind back then.

[Guest chris955]

I agree, I have never understood this 'the UK isn't what it used to be'. Is anywhere ? When I was growing up in Australia about 7 or 8 years of age I would head off all day with friends and come back at dinner time, I wouldn't dream of letting ours do that now, so it's fair to say things aren't what they used to be but not in a good way.

[mrsindecision]

I agree about the family thing , that was the main reason we came back as I felt after 20yrs in Oz I really wanted to spend some time with them (parents ) whist they are still in good health . Also we also use to come back here always to see everyone as with australia veing so far away - I was totally sick of doing that . Regarding the variety and texture of life , yes in some ways it feels like you are more in the thick of everything here and the variety of seasons yes its true sometimes all in the one day!

There is lots to like about life here , but now I am here I feel I can appreciate more of the laid back life in Australia , we lived close to the city and my son could get around easily to see his friends and had lots going on . He says his social life has gone now we are here and its true it has apart from his cousins he is struggling with new friends at the moment. we are living now in the countryside so although pretty its quiet and the kids he goes to school with are all spread . He joined a local cricket club and football team so hopefully things will change soon . I guess alot depends on where you are too . For me sometimes I think yes I can do this it will work out and others I really miss my old life so much I could go back tommorow , on a day like today what i wouldnt give to go to my local cafe and have a great coffee sitting outside and having a natter with a friend :arghh:

I really feel for how you are feeling right now - I know we will go through this too as there are so many parts to life in Australia that are lovely and easy. I work on my own a lot and will probably do the same in Uk - but knowing I can break up the day with a quick call to Mum or my friends will help so much - have Radio 4 in the background all the time and be popping into London or out to cleint meetings that dont require an overnight stay and a plane ride will be great. I think once your son gets into his sports clubs he will make friends easily. I guess realistically you will need to give it a some more time to properly settle - you have been gone from UK a long time. I guess you need to find some things that will make you feel as good in UK as those coffee moments in Oz. That's what I tried to do here to help me settle - and I think I succeeded to an extent ( not compleley obviously or wouldnt be going back) - soon you have new routines that you become happier with.

 

Best of luck to you and your family. Keep us informed of how it is going.

[mrcatania]

I agree about the family thing , that was the main reason we came back as I felt after 20yrs in Oz I really wanted to spend some time with them (parents ) whist they are still in good health . Also we also use to come back here always to see everyone as with australia veing so far away - I was totally sick of doing that . Regarding the variety and texture of life , yes in some ways it feels like you are more in the thick of everything here and the variety of seasons yes its true sometimes all in the one day!

There is lots to like about life here , but now I am here I feel I can appreciate more of the laid back life in Australia , we lived close to the city and my son could get around easily to see his friends and had lots going on . He says his social life has gone now we are here and its true it has apart from his cousins he is struggling with new friends at the moment. we are living now in the countryside so although pretty its quiet and the kids he goes to school with are all spread . He joined a local cricket club and football team so hopefully things will change soon . I guess alot depends on where you are too . For me sometimes I think yes I can do this it will work out and others I really miss my old life so much I could go back tommorow , on a day like today what i wouldnt give to go to my local cafe and have a great coffee sitting outside and having a natter with a friend :arghh:

Everyone really has individual situations don't they? It all revolves around the familiar. Likewise for me, my social life now in Australia is non existent. I was out every Fri/Sat nights with friends in London. Finding it difficult to meet people here as working from home, I have joined some sporting clubs, but the people there are not who I would actually go out with on a session! They can't and never will replace what I had, besides, seeing as car is king here everyone drives to the park. I used to play football in a park by the river Thames and then we would all pile in the local overlooking the river for a pint. That just doesn't seem to happen here as everyone drives. I do not find sport a 'social' thing like in the UK.

[Guest Mr Happy]

The U.K today bares little resemblance to what it was (it was way better before). People have short memories.