Guest241083 Posted February 23, 2016 Share Posted February 23, 2016 I wasnt going to warrant a reply but seeing as you have said it for me I will agree! I havent said my kids childhood "must be like mine" I merely remember all the happy things I had/did and naturally want my kids to have happy times too. Yes they dont know what they are missing out on family wise but I do and I feel for them. .........we don't know the future..... ..........all we have is experience to help us..... ...........and if we have a wonderful childhood.....of course we want to replicate this for ours.... ...........in the best way we know how....... ...........if your happy......your children will be happy....... ............do what brings you joy....! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest241083 Posted February 23, 2016 Share Posted February 23, 2016 The point I am making is you are assuming they are deprived when they are not.I'm sure your kids are very happy. It is your feelings that is the issue nothing to do with them. .........sometimes parley I think you have verbal diarrhoea.....! ..........if the parents aren't happy ......really happy... ..........not just ticking along.....the children pick up on it.... ..........good grief you had children...? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JockinTas Posted February 23, 2016 Share Posted February 23, 2016 Good you agree with me. Sheesh Parley :dull: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
wattsy1982 Posted February 23, 2016 Author Share Posted February 23, 2016 If we are getting petty then he actually agreed with me as I said it first. :biglaugh: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted February 23, 2016 Share Posted February 23, 2016 Stop agreeing on PIO please... Much better when everyone slags each other off. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Parley Posted February 23, 2016 Share Posted February 23, 2016 Just make sure you get the kids citizenship so they can vote with their feet when old enough. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
wattsy1982 Posted February 23, 2016 Author Share Posted February 23, 2016 Just make sure you get the kids citizenship so they can vote with their feet when old enough. Exactly why we are doing this. With their uk passport and Aus ones it open up europe and Aus to them Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted February 23, 2016 Share Posted February 23, 2016 The point I am making is you are assuming they are deprived when they are not.I'm sure your kids are very happy. It is your feelings that is the issue nothing to do with them. Is Australia under attack again Parley by ungrateful Brits who have the temerity to want to go home rather than stay in God's Country for life? B*stards! :mad: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Parley Posted February 23, 2016 Share Posted February 23, 2016 Is Australia under attack again Parley by ungrateful Brits who have the temerity to want to go home rather than stay in God's Country for life? B*stards! :mad: Well I think most people on here say Australia is far better growing up for kids don't they. I admire you for sticking it out here for the good of your family EW. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted February 23, 2016 Share Posted February 23, 2016 Well I think most people on here say Australia is far better growing up for kids don't they. I admire you for sticking it out here for the good of your family EW. That's very kind of you Parley. We're resolved to stay put in Melbourne until our daughter finishes Primary School, and after that, who knows? Home maybe? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
starlight7 Posted February 23, 2016 Share Posted February 23, 2016 That was a great post wattsy and just shows we are all different and all seek our own happiness in our own ways- which is as it should be. I did have the passing thought that the Gold Coast wouldn't be the easiest place to settle for many different reasons but you have certainly given it your best shot and won't die wondering! Hope returning proves to be all that you dream it will be. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
vickyplum Posted February 23, 2016 Share Posted February 23, 2016 To be honest I think the whole agreement at the start to give it 2 years was a mistake. I think doing that means you don't actually throw yourself into making it work 100% at it is only ever temporary in your head. That and continuing to work for your employer in UK remotely means you have never really settled. But I hope you are happy when you get back. My partner and I have a two year agreement, in that if one of us doesn't like it here, we can only talk about any possible return to the UK, after we've been in AU for two years. Which I think given the cost of getting here in the first place (financial and other), is fair enough. As @wattsy1982 says, there are worse places to wait it out, if that's what it comes to. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gbye grey sky Posted February 23, 2016 Share Posted February 23, 2016 Well I think most people on here say Australia is far better growing up for kids don't they. I admire you for sticking it out here for the good of your family EW. Actually that is normally prospective migrants making an assumption which is basically bunkum really. Kids can have an equally great upbringing in either country. What is most important is growing up in a safe, happy environment. If both parents are happy kids will be too. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
wattsy1982 Posted February 23, 2016 Author Share Posted February 23, 2016 My partner and I have a two year agreement, in that if one of us doesn't like it here, we can only talk about any possible return to the UK, after we've been in AU for two years. Which I think given the cost of getting here in the first place (financial and other), is fair enough. As @wattsy1982 says, there are worse places to wait it out, if that's what it comes to. Hi @vickyplum good to know we arent the only ones with the 2 year agreement! How long have you been here? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
vickyplum Posted February 23, 2016 Share Posted February 23, 2016 Hi @vickyplum good to know we arent the only ones with the 2 year agreement! How long have you been here? I think it's fairly common to be honest. Makes sense to put a minimum time limit on, otherwise it's just a big waste of time. We've been here just under a year now - so a while to go before anyone has to make any decisions! Although it may be that we decide to go nowhere, which would be nice and easy Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
wattsy1982 Posted February 23, 2016 Author Share Posted February 23, 2016 Actually that is normally prospective migrants making an assumption which is basically bunkum really. Kids can have an equally great upbringing in either country. What is most important is growing up in a safe, happy environment. If both parents are happy kids will be too. Wash your mouth out! :biglaugh: My wife is happy here, the kids are happy here and Im happy too, just dont want to be here forever. My wife wont be unhappy at home neither will the kids. We feel that the UK just 'ticks more boxes' for us as a family unit. Plus extended family around us will help give us some husband and wife time too, weve not been out together in a long time as one of us has to look after the kids....not complaining, they are our kids, just saying. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Guest109139 Posted February 23, 2016 Share Posted February 23, 2016 Dont get me wrong. I have days where I think, look what we have here etc...but then it takes a birthday, xmas, sunday roast etc and the thought of my children growing up here without grandparents, cousins, aunts, uncles etc depresses the life out of me. Thats not me saying anything about Australia, it would be the same in any other country we lived in (except UK obviously) I imagine if you were born here and have all your family here and dont know any different then its a good life. Absolutely, Since we moved back to the UK after 6 years in Oz, my 5 year old has totally blossomed and is absolutely thriving, mostly due to the fact that she has grandparents and other family members involved in her life. We liked living in Australia, but it was very -very lonely, we had absolutely noone. And even though we are very happy to be back in the UK, I do miss it, more than I thought I would.. Having said that, seeing my daughter having cuddles, playing with grandparents, being cheeky and chatting non-stop about them when we come home after staying with the grandparents for a long weekend, is just priceless, and was totally worth the move back. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
wattsy1982 Posted February 23, 2016 Author Share Posted February 23, 2016 I have no doubt I will miss things from here, as I miss things from home but its a case of deciding what things are easier to live without. I will miss the blue skies (not necessarily the sun/heat) miss being able to organise things and 99% of the time they go ahead. Miss the house we are building. BUT I honestly feel that will be easier to live with than missing family, friends and home in general like I do now. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Guest109139 Posted February 23, 2016 Share Posted February 23, 2016 Oh, and you don't have to justify yourself to anyone why you think life would be more fulfilling for you and for your family in the UK, I certanly didn't, I couldn't care less what others thought of us moving back. Nothing is forever, at least I will be able to say that I tried to do my best for my child and for us as a family and can always move and live in Australia again if we want to later in life (or somewhere else in the world if it takes my fancy!) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted February 23, 2016 Share Posted February 23, 2016 So nostalgia and the pull of family takes you home -- what do you do after the grandparents have passed away? The kids and cousins have gone away to university - or taken jobs abroad? You live out the rest of your life, hopefully to a ripe old age, in a country where you feel at home. You do so, safe in the knowledge that you successfully made a go of it in Australia, but that ultimately, Britain is where you belong? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Marisawright Posted February 23, 2016 Share Posted February 23, 2016 Dont get me wrong. I have days where I think, look what we have here etc...but then it takes a birthday, xmas, sunday roast etc and the thought of my children growing up here without grandparents, cousins, aunts, uncles etc depresses the life out of me. Thats not me saying anything about Australia, it would be the same in any other country we lived in. That's the bottom line, IMO. If you're the kind of person who's close to family, then living on the other side of the world is never going to work. For me, it's been nice to see my sisters more often and I'm glad I've been here at this particular time when there are a few family dramas going on. However when I go back to Australia, there won't be any tears at the airport from me - their presence is a "nice to have", not an essential for me. It's people like me who are able to emigrate more easily. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
janlo Posted February 23, 2016 Share Posted February 23, 2016 That's the bottom line, IMO. If you're the kind of person who's close to family, then living on the other side of the world is never going to work. For me, it's been nice to see my sisters more often and I'm glad I've been here at this particular time when there are a few family dramas going on. However when I go back to Australia, there won't be any tears at the airport from me - their presence is a "nice to have", not an essential for me. It's people like me who are able to emigrate more easily. Spot on. If you're in and out of each other's 'ouses it's almost certainly not going to work. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rachel Tilley Posted February 23, 2016 Share Posted February 23, 2016 I've liked reading your account of events Wattsy and it's been interesting for me to read about a man who hasn't settled in Oz and wants to return to family. I fully 'get you', understand, empathise and sympathise with your situation, and as others have said, you don't need to justify yourself to anyone. For some people, people are more important than places - simples! I also had a wonderful childhood and have lots of great memories of family coming to us on Christmas Day (the widowed Grandma and Great Aunty who my dad had to drive to pick up on Christmas morning) and then the visit on Boxing Day to my auntie and uncle's house and play with my cousins with our new games whilst the family got drunk and played charades! The milestone birthday parties, the engagements, the weddings, the funerals. Now that we're all adults we still have quite close bonds as cousins even though many of the family members have now passed away. I was 20 when my Grandma died and I'm so happy that I had those years with her. I was 29 when my Great Aunty died and I was with her as she passed away. Now I'm back home my son has those relationships with his grandparents, aunties, uncles and cousins. That extended family network is a lot healthier than what he would have had in Oz under our situation (which I know was totally different to yours), but I also believe that happy childhood memories around family is important. I hope everything all works out for you and you enjoy your trip back over to the UK in the summer and find out if it's what you really want. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tea4too Posted February 23, 2016 Share Posted February 23, 2016 Wattsy, we relocated within the UK and do not have family and childhood friends living near by but, we are part of their lives because the distance is manageable. As a result my child has grown up with a real sense of her family. Her relationships with family across three generations have grown and matured as she has grown and matured. Being a few hundred miles away means that we are always part of significant events, and over the years that has included some difficult times as well as happier occasions. It also means we can make last minute decisions to visit, to surprise, or just to be there when needed. In contrast my Aus nephews rekindle their family relationships when people visit or they themselves holiday back in the UK. This works fine for them because on balance my Aus family is happy with the life they have built since moving, and part of that ‘package’ has been finding a way to maintain contact with family left behind. Texts, emails and visits meet that need and there is an acceptance that most of the time anything beyond that is not practical or possible. I think we all find our own way, and because something works for one family that is not necessarily ‘the’ way to do things. It is more a case of discovering your priorities then working out how to balance them. For me it was a case of ensuring my child grew up as part of her wider family in a practical sense, and we have achieved that. For my Aus family it was a case of maintaining regular contact and maintaining family ties, and they have achieved that. You too will find your own way…..and it will work because you want and need it to. All the best, T x Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted February 23, 2016 Share Posted February 23, 2016 You live out the rest of your life, hopefully to a ripe old age, in a country where you feel at home. You do so, safe in the knowledge that you successfully made a go of it in Australia, but that ultimately, Britain is where you belong? The saddest thing EW, is the only person deciding this isn't your home and that you don't belong is you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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