Focus on what i have experiencecd with this forum, going back to UK

[Marisawright]

And interesting Marisa, because my memories of Boots or Marks and Spencers have far outdone any memories of here!

 

How long ago were you in Boots and M&S? Was it recent?

 

You also have to consider that I lived in Sydney's Inner West with easy access to various huge Westfields shopping centres and the CBD. The big Soul Pattinsons and Chemist Warehouse there have far more selection than the big Boots in Southampton, IMO. I find Target undies more comfortable than M&S now too!

[kiwiathome]

I don't think it comes down to logical. To me it is memories. I have happy memories from England, and Boots and Marks and Spencer. So their is association. I am seriously learning (mid life crisis at age 44) what is most important to me and my children. And simply, England brings back so much more than living in Australia ever does. Maybe after living in NZ for 5 years, then Australia for 7 years, I need to go back to England with my children. I did not choose to live in NZ or Australia for these time scales.

 

First was for my parents, second for my hubby. Have not really liked either. Most happy in England. Think now it might be time to return to what I think is right.

 

This forum does not have to be a complain fest or "emotional talk show" but maybe it does give us more encouragement or conviction to continue to seek or challenge.

[Marisawright]

I don't think it comes down to logical. To me it is memories. I have happy memories from England, and Boots and Marks and Spencer. So their is association.

 

I can understand that - like I said, I had fond memories of those stores too, but gradually as I kept going back every other year and feeling slightly disappointed, I realised they would never live up to those fond memories again! A couple of shops aren't that important in the scheme of things, but they are examples of how a country doesn't stand still while we're away from it. No matter how we might yearn for the country we left, many aspects of it just won't be there by the time we get back. That's just life.

[kiwiathome]

At the end of the day I think we all know it is not about shops. Shops provoke a memory, and that can be very important. I was very happy in England for 6 years. Ok in NZ for 5 years, not happy at all in Australia for 7 years. I think to me it is just a sign I am saying "fond memories" because I am keen to come back.

 

I have practical time line for my daughters for education, but my own heart is back in England for many reasons. And maybe I would be very happy to take "lesser" undies in marks and spencer over target, if I felt more contented.

 

Just my point. I know you have had a hard time recently, are things better in Southampton?? I hope so for you. Never to late to do a little change again if you need to. Good on you for taking a brave step. Wish you all the best.

[bristolman]

And interesting Marisa, because my memories of Boots or Marks and Spencers have far outdone any memories of here! I am glad you had those memories, each to their own. But for me it actually made me want England. I tried to explain to my two daughters tonight as we played card games (as we normally do) that back in England we use to go out to family pubs and have meals and conversation, or dinner parties. Just not the same here in Australia. I will always fight to put family time, walks, games, animals, over any time we seem to "settle for here in Australia"! Just my opinion, each to their own.

 

My wife loves Boots and M&S and the incredible range of stuff available AND at great prices for the quality.

[bristolman]

At the end of the day I think we all know it is not about shops. Shops provoke a memory, and that can be very important. I was very happy in England for 6 years. Ok in NZ for 5 years, not happy at all in Australia for 7 years. I think to me it is just a sign I am saying "fond memories" because I am keen to come back.

 

I have practical time line for my daughters for education, but my own heart is back in England for many reasons. And maybe I would be very happy to take "lesser" undies in marks and spencer over target, if I felt more contented.

 

Just my point. I know you have had a hard time recently, are things better in Southampton?? I hope so for you. Never to late to do a little change again if you need to. Good on you for taking a brave step. Wish you all the best.

 

A few shops or the wonderful pubs or walks in the country are all part of the overall package, not game changers on their own but when combined much more so.

[kiwiathome]

Cheers bristolman, that is nice for me. I still hope Marisa comes back with she is OK.

 

I know I keep going on about emotional versus practical on this forum, I am pretty sure I am in the emotional basket. But I care about other people. I think it is wonderful that posters have this forum. I have only one good friend in Australia, so post on this. Look away if you don't want to know. But back in England it was more social. I was so happy within 6 months. Life long friends. Dinner parties. Wonderful memories.

 

We only moved back for our parents. Now our parents are older, not around much longer with cancer etc, time to re think.

 

To me it is simple. Go back to UK. But my hubby, does not agree. He is high achiever, simulator trainer for Virgin, salary above all else.

 

Can I achieve the balance of going back to UK, my best "home" set eldest up for uni, youngest up for high school, me a job part time in health, and hopefully hubby around?

 

I expect less, my girls taken care off, more social, Old friends back in England, everything I love, leaving my mental family over here, but mainly, my eldest gets established before uni and gets her 3 years, my youngest goes to a new school and

hopefully gets friends to go onto high school with. My girls come first. Benefit for me. Hope hubby joins us.

 

We may post quite personal info here on this forum, but maybe this is all we have. So lets listen to each other, and offer support. x

[kiwiathome]

And one last comment, Que Sera Sera, your views or comments are very worthwhile. Just because their are differences, does not mean we can not learn from each other. I enjoy your comments/views, please come back on.

 

Cheers.

[ramot]

And one last comment, Que Sera Sera, your views or comments are very worthwhile. Just because their are differences, does not mean we can not learn from each other. I enjoy your comments/views, please come back on.

 

Cheers.

 

i find it sad that you have been so unhappy for 12 years, including time in both NZ and Oz. What a waste.

I have had to follow my husband all over the place as ex RAF and commercial pilot, have moved many times, and lived in difficult places, moved our three children from pillar to post, but have always managed to make the best of it as long as we were together, and lucky enough to have made friends in most places.

I really hope that if and when you return to UK it's everything you hope it will be.

Having survived several down turns in the airline world, and having to move around England for work, and then overseas, I hope your husband finds a job in an area you want to live in.

 

my reply wasn't relevant to your above post, just wanted to put a reply on one of your posts.

[kiwiathome]

Cheers, not a waste cause my girls have done wonderful, and are happy and fine. My priority. I am studying, planning to go back UK, best me and girls. Lots bad happened over here in this time, but moving forward, not a waste. U may know sometimes it does not always work out be I f married to airline pilot. Their career always comes first. Lucky I never give up. Appreciate u comments.

[JockinTas]

I hope your dream comes true for you and your family kiwiinaus :smile:

[adelenaylor]

there is nothing like walking into a English pub and the feeling of been at home.:smile:

[Guest Hereandnow]

there is nothing like walking into a English pub and the feeling of been at home.:smile:

 

OK I guess but pales compared to life in Australia overall. Each to their own.

[kiwiathome]

Oh ramot and everyone else on here who is so lovely, I have such great news, we are heading back to England. Yeah, sooooo excited. We have been really looking into our life over the last few years, and as strange as it sounds, my mom now has kidney cancer. This has made me really think. We came back from England for our parents, cared for my father in law until he died, cared for my mom through her liver failure eventual transplant. She lived with us for one and a half years.

 

We both have sisters, but all they ask of our moms is babysitting. We care for our parents and never ask for anything. We have never had babysitting because we are the "strong" ones. Well, we have now decide no matter what the cost is our immediate family come first. We extend an invitation to bout our moms (one is English and my mom can get in because I am a UK citizen) to live with us over there if they choose. We would be thrilled and welcome them. But we are moving back, and on. Up to them.

 

It will be a relief to leave the family tension behind (our sisters) etc. My nearly 15 year old daughter is excitedly looking up A levels and university options etc. My youngest just says "kittens and a puppy please".

 

Once we hit August, the countdown is on. 11 months to go. My friends in England have already booked us in for a homecoming dinner party!

 

Just on a personal level to all out there who wait and wait, or doubt, it is a tricky balance. I had to wait till the timing was right to suit all my family. Eventually all will work out. I did not want to leave England, but I am now returning with my family, 12 years later. I never gave up hope and hung in there. And I would never have sacrificed my marriage. Just sometimes it takes time. Night from a happy kiwi.! (whose home is England, not NZ and definitely not Australia). x

[kiwiathome]

And on a personal note while I am still logged in. I have got quite down the last few years. Still OK, still functioning and fulfilling all as expected etc. But this year has been different. I know there is relevance on here to mid life crisis, but I really believe that is what I have been going through. From about 43 I thought "is this it"? And living in a country I don't even like, tension with our my sister and sister in law, lonely, not getting this country etc.

 

Well hubby wasn't ready to take his eye off his career at this stage. And I knew this was not right for me or my girls. Sooo, in the last year I have taken up study by correspondence. I am seeing a hypnotherapist/counsellor, I am exercising more and this week while hubby is away in Dubai, I am attempting a liver cleanse diet. I am trying to meditate (but I think failing miserably as said above), but I am trying to get rid of past emotional baggage and move forward. Not blame or whine any more, just hope more and be positive. And I have always been pretty positive.

 

Anyway, not to go on, just a few changes of what you can do to help yourself physically or emotionally can bring about changes. And that is what is happening now for me. So go try something new that is good for you and hope. x.

[kiwiathome]

Was just logging out and going off for tea, but cheers Marisa. How are you? You changed country for another, I get that. I have always put every one else first. Not anymore. How are you doing? As you know, and I would not insult

you with this comment, England has sooooo much beauty to offer. Do you need to up and move? or has it got better. Do you not think the hardest part was from Australia to England? Once in England, you can always move and

fight for better. This should be the better part of your journey.

 

All the best. x.

[stuartkelly2014]

Hello all. myself and my wife are currently reading quite alot of threads lately again researching moving to Australia and compared with 12 months ago when there seemed to be quite alot of excitement interesting places to move to and the like all we seem to read now is the amount of people who are returning and want to return as finding it hard, plus the lack of jobs in Adelaide , Melbourne and the like and only negative points about Perth.

 

This has got us wondering if this move is actually for us then being in good jobs in the UK being a manager of a children's day nursery and a Building Surveyor, we would love peoples opinions on this. We do have three young children and sligtly worried.

[Jacaranda]

I guess Stuart you have to ask yourself why you want to move?Australia is on a downturn,but,so was the UK until recently.Now during that time in the UK,I didn't notice any difference.People were posting on here a few years ago "I can't wait to leave this s***hole"(referring to the UK)"Its gone to the dogs"etc?At the time I was in the UK,and I was thinking "Eh?That doesn't sound like the UK I live in"?So I am guessing that,ok,lets say there are quite a lot of people returning to the UK.Not everyone will be affected by the downturn in Australia,just like they weren't in the UK.

Some people return to the UK because they feel isolated,and need family/friends close by,for some,it didn't match their expectations!My advice would be,don't burn all your bridges if you do go.Possibly rent your house out(if you own one)and se how the land lies,once in Australia.Can you perhaps leave ahead of your family,and try and find work first?

I've lived in both countries a long time.I love both countries and I don't believe one is better than the other,just different.

[starlight7]

I think the job situation is not too bad in Melbourne but it depends what your field is really. It is very expensive to get even a basic house now though and this would have put us off . You might look and find a cheap new build but they tend to be in new areas with no infrastructure and long drives to work which would get on your nerves after a while.

[annym]

kiwiinaus, what you say resonates so much with me. I am new on this forum as I only started posting today despite signing up in July, 2015. I fly out of here at the end of October and am also really, really excited. Every day I say to myself 'Not Much Longer' - it is my mantra, it is what keeps me going every day. I hate Australia so much and have become more and more disenchanted every day - Not Much Longer!

My Permanent Residency visa ran out in January and I decided that the cost of renewing it was a waste of money, money which could better be used somewhere else. My oldest son is angry with me but my youngest son is really laid back about it. I doubt very much that either of them will forgo upgrading to a newer mobile phone or the latest Playstation game and instead buy a plane ticket to come to England to see me but it is time to think of myself for the first time in my life.

Thank you for your posts.

 

Incidentally, what part of the word 'permanent' means temporary?? As in Permanent Residency? I thought that it meant permanentally.

[Suzukiscottie]

Your right to stay in Aus permanently didn't expire. You could stay in Australia forever. That's permanently.

 

The rights to travel in and out of the Country expired.

 

It's one way to encourage PR's who meet the residency requirements to become citizens. It's also cheaper to become a citizen ($260-ish) than it is to get a RRV.

[Marisawright]

Was just logging out and going off for tea, but cheers Marisa. How are you? You changed country for another, I get that. I have always put every one else first. Not anymore. How are you doing? As you know, and I would not insult

you with this comment, England has sooooo much beauty to offer. Do you need to up and move? or has it got better. Do you not think the hardest part was from Australia to England?

 

 

Hi @kiwiinaus I completely missed this post! Yes, it has got a bit better as we've found dance classes to go to, so we don't feel so isolated. Plus our little flat is just gorgeous with its view out over the river. But we still feel like aliens - we went on a holiday last week in Vienna, and felt far less like foreigners there than we do in Southampton! Pity we don't speak German, we'd move there tomorrow if we did!

 

I really don't know whether moving to another city would give us more of a feeling of belonging, but we are going to try. Our lease expires in November so we've been getting about checking out alternative cities with the objective of moving then.

[Marisawright]

 

Incidentally, what part of the word 'permanent' means temporary?? As in Permanent Residency? I thought that it meant permanentally.

 

It does, while you're living in the country. However if you're out of the country for too long, you lose the right to come back, ever, unless you have a RRV (a Resident's Return Visa). And your RRV will only be valid for a few years. I don't know what the current limit is - I became a citizen as soon as I was eligible, to avoid any potential problems - but I'm sure others will know.

[Quinkla]

Just interesting I have observed over last few weeks, the more practicaly responses little interest, but once the more emotional and confused threads are started, or England v's Australia, lots of input!

Partly that's because most of us don't know what happens if you submit your blue form ahead of your green form for the 123 offshore visa. We only know what our own visa process entailed and didn't even test the boundaries of that. Plus, in the off chance the question is a visa we did, the chances are someone has already given the correct answer or our personal knowledge is out of date.

 

But all of us have experience of migration in the general sense, and for most of us it was/is a mixed bag. Some people respond by focusing on the positive, some on the negative and some are in between. Mostly, I think we post to try to salvage our own sanity and justify our own stories rather than give definitive answers. After all, the general migration experience is very subjective. And when someone offers a different point of view, it is like a personal attack on our own self-justifications, even if the poster never intended it to be taken that way.

 

Just have confidence in yourself and your own opinions, and accept that two people in the same position might respond in polar opposite ways.

[CowlingAFC]

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