Paul1Perth Posted May 28, 2015 Share Posted May 28, 2015 Yep that has definitely started. To be honest I've got no idea whether she's getting a load of propaganda from the rest of her family, but naturally they would rather her be over there with them, so it wouldn't surprise me. They all live about a 1 hour 10 minute commute away from where I would work as well. From what I've seen of the Kwinana Freeway during rush hour, I doubt that's a barrel of laughs every day. You would have to pick a suburb that suits you and the missus mate. Don't let where other people live dictate where you are going to settle. The suburb you pick can seriously change your way of life. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paul1Perth Posted May 28, 2015 Share Posted May 28, 2015 Problem with 457 is if you do not like the company then you cannot move, if they do not like you, you could end up with no job and having to leave within 90 days. As has been said no guarantee of citizenship. These are temporary visas and presently they are right under the governments spotlight presently due to Australians thinking these visas take jobs from locals. So it may be that there will be less of them being given out. A lot of Australians have lost their jobs with the decline of the mining boom in the west so its a big problem for government. I always took the attitude that job and income came first and where I lived came second. We went totally the opposite way. Chose a suburb where we knew we would like to live then thought about jobs after. We've both changed jobs and location of jobs since. We wanted to have a good time when we weren't at work, not think about how long it was going to take to get there and what type of "career" we would have. We would have been happy with the same money we were getting in the UK, enough to get by basically. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bristolman Posted May 28, 2015 Share Posted May 28, 2015 There is no point in saying "equivalent standard" as there isn't one. I could be a multi millionaire in the UK and I wouldn't be able to do and enjoy the things I do here. They don't exist and the lifestyle doesn't exist. Same for us in reverse but for the average family there is an equivalent standard of living. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tina0101 Posted May 28, 2015 Share Posted May 28, 2015 Can you take a year out on 'leave' and come and try it?? If you stay together in the UK, she may start to resent you. If you both come out here, you may resent her. Someone is going to have to compromise. Trying it and if you really don't like it, you can always go back. I know you've been together a while, but you are still young and if it doesn't work out, it's better you tried than for one of you to settle. Good luck Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted May 28, 2015 Share Posted May 28, 2015 Speaking as someone who's only here because of an Australian partner and (half-Australian) child, I think that you're at least fortunate to be giving this consideration before children are added to the equation. I'd recommend coming out here and giving it a go, but having some ground rules in place before you come out, such as agreeing not to start a family or buy a place until you're sure the place is for you. It sounds a bit defeatist I know, but I think you've got to allow yourself some wriggle room so that you don't end up getting trapped in a place that you don't want to be. I'd also, if it's possible, try and put a bit of geographical distance between yourselves and her family. That's a hard one I know, especially if she's coming out here to be near them, but I know from experience that being surrounded by an OH's family and friends can be really tough if they all love it here and they can't understand why you don't. Best of luck mate. :smile: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MARYROSE02 Posted May 28, 2015 Share Posted May 28, 2015 Hopefully somebody can help. First a bit of background information. My fiancée and I have been together 7 years and live together in the UK. From the outside we have a really good life, we're only in our early twenties and are fortunate enough to own our own city centre apartment, drive nice cars and are really comfortable financially. We both love our jobs. I have a career in aviation with fantastic prospects and my fiancée has a really good job too with fantastic prospects. However, a few years ago my Fiancées sister and her partner moved to Western Australia after visiting other members of her family out there and loving it. That was shortly followed by her parents. It left my fiancée who was 19 at the tIme shellshocked. Her and her mum were really close. Now she's here and all of her close family live out there. We recently went to visit for a month and she really liked it. I too liked it, but not enough to actually live out there. Now she wants to emigrate. She's so unhappy here, every single day she reminds me she does not want to live here and she could be in Oz with her parents if she wanted to. It's a #hithole here according to her. Its a real dilemma and I just don't know what the answer is. I want her to be happy but I don't want to emigrate. I've said I will think about it in a few years. I can apply to go on a 457 VISA and would earn a good wage out there, but I know I wouldn't last. We have everything here and I don't see why we should chase her family 12,000 miles around the world. All her family have had there own reasons to emigrate, but none of them reasons apply to us. Hopefully there is somebody who has been in a similar predicament that can offer some advice. Thanks I'm not sure what to advise you. What does 'I'll think about it in a few years' mean? When you are even less likely to want to move? Why not move out to WA 'sooner rather than later', whilst you are young enough to come back to the UK, still in your 20's? You could rent your home ini the UK out, so there is no need to 'burn your bridges.' Maybe you could move to WA with your present company? Maybe the experience working in the same field in another country would be beneficial to your career? Maybe you will actually enjoy the experience in WA? It sounds almost as if you are both saying to each other, 'If you loved me, you would.........?' Actually, now I DO know what to advise you! Make an appointment to see a psychologist or a relationship counsellor with your fiancee, as a first step. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CFAC1 Posted May 28, 2015 Author Share Posted May 28, 2015 Thanks for the replies, some really good advice there. I appreciate it. Ill try and reply to various points different people have made. Im an Air Traffic Controller, so my options are extremely limited when it comes to employment in Australia. All ATC is supplied by Air Services Australia. So if they have an international intake then you have a chance, if they aren't recruiting well you ain't getting in. There is no other way. I'm not sure whether the occupation is on the SOL or CSOL, but I know they are not currently recruiting. I've heard it is reopening next year, but after that, who knows. Thats sort of the issue, I don't know how long the door will be open to me to emigrate on a 457. If I wait 5 years I could potentially put us in a position where it is impossible to go. There's been a shortage in recent years but that won't last forever. To put it into perspective there are around 1000 controllers in the whole of Australia. Ive said to my Fiancée we will holiday in WA every year but that isn't enough anymore, she wants to be with the rest of her family all year round not just for a month. As I say we have recently spent a month there and I did have moments which were almost surreal, things you just wouldn't see anywhere else where I thought 'yer I could live here'. But then I also had a lot where I thought 'there's no way I could live here'. Oh and psychologist, really!? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gbye grey sky Posted May 28, 2015 Share Posted May 28, 2015 Having read all your posts my twopenny worth is that you need to be brutally frank with your fiancée about your total lack of desire to emigrate to Australia. Constantly kicking that can down the road by promising it in a few years and hoping it will magically disappear as an issue seems the easiest option now but I fear it will come back to bite you one day (if not every day - and for the rest of your life). I am assuming that your fiancée may have difficulties anyway getting a permanent visa on her own account and so may be reliant on your skills (unless I missed that bit). I feel that you are being put in an impossible position but you will have to be completely honest whatever the short-term consequences. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BrownEyedGal Posted May 28, 2015 Share Posted May 28, 2015 Oh wow! That's a difficult situation to be in. However with your fiancee, not really giving you a choice i.e. "...holiday in WA every year but that isn't enough anymore, she wants to be with the rest of her family all year round not just for a month." That sounds like a future splitsville. She's homesick to be with them, which as you said is understandable as she is close to them. If she was willing to compromise by visiting for a few months every year then great, you both have something to work with. Sometimes a person gets fixated. What do her family say to her? The more she wants to go, the more you will see that you are giving up many things especially as it appears you have worked hard to get to where you are now. Yes, yes you are both young and have time on your side etc, but you are dealing with now. I believe in research, research, research and have many conversations with your partner, so that you can both reach a compromise. Does it have to be Perth - are there better opportunities on a better visa to Australia - she can fly regularly interstate to visit family. A pain yes but only a few hours or a day to get to wherever. Maybe better work opportunities in Sydney or Brisbane for you and maybe her - not sure what she does. It will take some time but at least you can suss out a few things from this site. Good luck and let us know how you get on. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bristolman Posted May 28, 2015 Share Posted May 28, 2015 Thanks for the replies, some really good advice there. I appreciate it. Ill try and reply to various points different people have made. Im an Air Traffic Controller, so my options are extremely limited when it comes to employment in Australia. All ATC is supplied by Air Services Australia. So if they have an international intake then you have a chance, if they aren't recruiting well you ain't getting in. There is no other way. I'm not sure whether the occupation is on the SOL or CSOL, but I know they are not currently recruiting. I've heard it is reopening next year, but after that, who knows. Thats sort of the issue, I don't know how long the door will be open to me to emigrate on a 457. If I wait 5 years I could potentially put us in a position where it is impossible to go. There's been a shortage in recent years but that won't last forever. To put it into perspective there are around 1000 controllers in the whole of Australia. Ive said to my Fiancée we will holiday in WA every year but that isn't enough anymore, she wants to be with the rest of her family all year round not just for a month. As I say we have recently spent a month there and I did have moments which were almost surreal, things you just wouldn't see anywhere else where I thought 'yer I could live here'. But then I also had a lot where I thought 'there's no way I could live here'. Oh and psychologist, really!? I'm afraid I am another that can ultimately see your relationship going nowhere and I agree, a psychologist WTH lol. There can really be no future when you each want to be on the other side of the world. If she wants to be in Australia there is no point being across the other side of the country so you are restricted to Perth. It's horrible to say but I can't see it working for both of you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bungo Posted May 28, 2015 Share Posted May 28, 2015 Thanks for the replies, some really good advice there. I appreciate it. Ill try and reply to various points different people have made. Im an Air Traffic Controller, so my options are extremely limited when it comes to employment in Australia. All ATC is supplied by Air Services Australia. So if they have an international intake then you have a chance, if they aren't recruiting well you ain't getting in. There is no other way. I'm not sure whether the occupation is on the SOL or CSOL, but I know they are not currently recruiting. I've heard it is reopening next year, but after that, who knows. Thats sort of the issue, I don't know how long the door will be open to me to emigrate on a 457. If I wait 5 years I could potentially put us in a position where it is impossible to go. There's been a shortage in recent years but that won't last forever. To put it into perspective there are around 1000 controllers in the whole of Australia. Ive said to my Fiancée we will holiday in WA every year but that isn't enough anymore, she wants to be with the rest of her family all year round not just for a month. As I say we have recently spent a month there and I did have moments which were almost surreal, things you just wouldn't see anywhere else where I thought 'yer I could live here'. But then I also had a lot where I thought 'there's no way I could live here'. Oh and psychologist, really!? On top of everything else, you are maybe not understanding the visa. You CANNOT emigrate on a 457 visa. This is a temporary visa, akin to a work permit, so even if there was an intake and even if you did get a 457 you have to work out how you would stay permanently anyway. I find it hard to believe there is a shortage of air traffic controllers anywhere. I had a friend that went into this and maybe my information is out of date, but I thought roles were scarce and anyone that had one is doing very well indeed. I now understand better exactly what you meant when you said in the first post that you had a fantastic job you didn't want to leave. Do you know relationship counselling is probably an excellent idea. Because you are both at a cross roads with this relationship and your lives and maybe need a third person to talk it out through. But you cannot keep kicking this down the road, we will look at it in a few years, it isn't fair on her and it isn't fair on yourself either. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CFAC1 Posted May 28, 2015 Author Share Posted May 28, 2015 On top of everything else, you are maybe not understanding the visa. You CANNOT emigrate on a 457 visa. This is a temporary visa, akin to a work permit, so even if there was an intake and even if you did get a 457 you have to work out how you would stay permanently anyway. I find it hard to believe there is a shortage of air traffic controllers anywhere. I had a friend that went into this and maybe my information is out of date, but I thought roles were scarce and anyone that had one is doing very well indeed. I now understand better exactly what you meant when you said in the first post that you had a fantastic job you didn't want to leave. Do you know relationship counselling is probably an excellent idea. Because you are both at a cross roads with this relationship and your lives and maybe need a third person to talk it out through. But you cannot keep kicking this down the road, we will look at it in a few years, it isn't fair on her and it isn't fair on yourself either. I'm aware the 457 visa is only temporary but I've heard from people already over there it's pretty much a case of if you've behaved yourself for 4 years you don't have a problem with it being made permanent by the company. its an awful lot of money and training time to be investing in someone only to then send them home 4 years later. I'm pretty certain there has been a shortage in recent years, here's an article from 2013... http://www.theaustralian.com.au/business/aviation/airservices-australia-staffing-raises-concerns/story-e6frg95x-1226681590439 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Captain Roberto Posted May 28, 2015 Share Posted May 28, 2015 it sounds incredibly tough, so I wouldn't even attempt to suggest any advice, except to agree with the people on here who state that it's best to be really honest and upfront now. Making false promises isn't going to help either of you over the long term. If you don't think it's particularly possible, wise or desirable for you and you also don't want to risk your career to move to WA you probably just need to be upfront, but do it all in a nice empathetic way. I can't imagine it'd be easy, but it's honest and fair. Damn. Good luck! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gbye grey sky Posted May 28, 2015 Share Posted May 28, 2015 I'm aware the 457 visa is only temporary but I've heard from people already over there it's pretty much a case of if you've behaved yourself for 4 years you don't have a problem with it being made permanent by the company. its an awful lot of money and training time to be investing in someone only to then send them home 4 years later. I'm pretty certain there has been a shortage in recent years, here's an article from 2013... http://www.theaustralian.com.au/business/aviation/airservices-australia-staffing-raises-concerns/story-e6frg95x-1226681590439 For some the 457 may have led to PR but for others it has not (and many of those did not want it to). Why not give it a go then? I must have misunderstood because I thought that you really did not want to move to Australia with a view to living there permanently. You are sending out some confusing mixed messages in your posts. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bungo Posted May 28, 2015 Share Posted May 28, 2015 I'm aware the 457 visa is only temporary but I've heard from people already over there it's pretty much a case of if you've behaved yourself for 4 years you don't have a problem with it being made permanent by the company. its an awful lot of money and training time to be investing in someone only to then send them home 4 years later. I'm pretty certain there has been a shortage in recent years, here's an article from 2013... http://www.theaustralian.com.au/business/aviation/airservices-australia-staffing-raises-concerns/story-e6frg95x-1226681590439 The whole point of the 457 visa is that people should go home at the end of it. That is how it is designed, to fill temporary skills gaps. It is not about training and investment in you, if anything, it is to plug a gap until Australians can fill the roles. So the government do not give a hoot how much has been invested in you. Most people that get a 457 visa will leave at the end of it by choice as they understood the intent of the visa. A proportion will apply for a permanent visa later on, but it is not a given. In the meantime you are stuck to your employer and also if you pardon the expression, your girlfriend is bound to the relationship, if that should falter, she would find herself in a very tricky predicament. When I mentioned shortage of roles rather than candidates, I also meant in the UK. I was thinking ahead to a time when maybe you want to come back to UK but have given up this fantastic role you currently have. As to Australia, well it isn't on the SOL so there cannot be a great shortage there either. Just edited to add: I mentioned earlier you were blowing hot and cold. Initially it sounded like you really didn't want to move, then when the responses largely supported that, you start to make the argument about why you should move! If you want to go, then just go. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MARYROSE02 Posted May 28, 2015 Share Posted May 28, 2015 Thanks for the replies, some really good advice there. I appreciate it. Ill try and reply to various points different people have made. Im an Air Traffic Controller, so my options are extremely limited when it comes to employment in Australia. All ATC is supplied by Air Services Australia. So if they have an international intake then you have a chance, if they aren't recruiting well you ain't getting in. There is no other way. I'm not sure whether the occupation is on the SOL or CSOL, but I know they are not currently recruiting. I've heard it is reopening next year, but after that, who knows. Thats sort of the issue, I don't know how long the door will be open to me to emigrate on a 457. If I wait 5 years I could potentially put us in a position where it is impossible to go. There's been a shortage in recent years but that won't last forever. To put it into perspective there are around 1000 controllers in the whole of Australia. Ive said to my Fiancée we will holiday in WA every year but that isn't enough anymore, she wants to be with the rest of her family all year round not just for a month. As I say we have recently spent a month there and I did have moments which were almost surreal, things you just wouldn't see anywhere else where I thought 'yer I could live here'. But then I also had a lot where I thought 'there's no way I could live here'. Oh and psychologist, really!? Yes, a psychologist, really! Among the many things they specialise in are 'relationship problems.' Of course, if there is no problem with your relationship, well, there is no point in seeing a psychologist! But don't take my word for it, Google 'psychologist' or 'clinical psychologist' if you prefer. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Quoll Posted May 28, 2015 Share Posted May 28, 2015 I don't think I would bother with a psychologist either - pragmatically your future is in UK, I think you would have to have rocks in your head to chuck that away without a cast iron guarantee (ie a signed permanent contract!) that you could continue in your career in Aus - it's obviously been hard won. Her family mean more to her than you do - smacks a bit of naïveté maybe but even the most talented of psychs is not going to help the pair of you work out a compromise that will preserve your career whilst ceding her need to be with her family 12/12. Increasingly I'm inclined to say cut and run. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CFAC1 Posted May 28, 2015 Author Share Posted May 28, 2015 I don't want to right now but it's nice to know you possibly have the option... Thanks for all the replies. Hopefully her parents end up coming home, that would solve everything! They are only on a 457 visa as well! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bungo Posted May 28, 2015 Share Posted May 28, 2015 I don't want to right now but it's nice to know you possibly have the option... Thanks for all the replies. Hopefully her parents end up coming home, that would solve everything! They are only on a 457 visa as well! They are?? After all that! How old are they? Do you know if they have any plans for a permanent visa? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CFAC1 Posted May 28, 2015 Author Share Posted May 28, 2015 They are?? After all that! How old are they? Do you know if they have any plans for a permanent visa? They're 50 and 49 but seem to be pretty confident that they will get PR eventually... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AJ Posted May 28, 2015 Share Posted May 28, 2015 So what if they don't get PR a lot of people aren't these days, and they have to come back would your partner want to come back to the UK then? So you would have given up your job for what , a long holiday? Ask her what she would want to do if that happened Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bungo Posted May 28, 2015 Share Posted May 28, 2015 They're 50 and 49 but seem to be pretty confident that they will get PR eventually... It is really hard to get PR after the age of 50!! Well it is on a work related visa anyway. Which one has the 457 sponsor, the 49 year old or the 50 year old? Is it a well paid job? How long have they been on the 457 visa? Not being nosy but these are important factors in getting a permanent visa at their age. Are they thinking of getting a parent visa. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jacaranda Posted May 28, 2015 Share Posted May 28, 2015 If you both stay together in the UK,its only going to get worse for you.Have you talked about marriage and kids? (Or kids without marriage for that matter).If your gf isn't coping well now,it'll probably get worse if you have kids later on.What would you do if your gf announced next week,she is flying off to Oz,whether you go or not?Did you gf have the opportunity at the time her parents left to go with them?Sometimes just visiting isn't enough.Sounds like you're in a pretty impossible situation. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
grahamffc Posted May 28, 2015 Share Posted May 28, 2015 I can give you my experience which in some ways was similar. I met my ex in Australia and right from the start she always said that she wanted to go back to Australia when she finished a part time masters she was studying that was going to take three years, I'd been there on holiday, watched neighbours everyday as a kid, had a few aussie friends so told her I'd love to one day too. We'd been together for about 3 years when I got a brilliant job that was really unique in my profession, is been in it for about a year when she finished her course and said she wanted to go back to Australia. We weren't living together and I was so happy with the job and the rest of my life that the thought of going didn't seriously cross my mind, so she went on her own and I stayed with a view to going in 6 months to a year. I assumed in this time that we'd either grow apart naturally or that I'd miss her so much that nothing else in my life would make up for it. I managed to spin things out for two years (largely by getting a skilled migrant visa which took ages). To be honest we had grown apart after the second year and I was getting cold feet (still living my job etc) and she gave me a bit of an ultimatum, no more putting it back a few months. So in that respect it was now it never plus I had gone to all the effort and expense of getting the visa so thought I should give it a go. Perhaps unsuprisingly it didn't work out. I resented her from the day I got there, probably before I had even left and was putting the wheels in motion to be honest. We split up and I stayed for about a year afterwards, having a much better time when the pressure of her and her family had been lifted. In hindsight I think that there are a couple of major things I/we got wrong and had they been different we might have lived happily ever after in Australia. For now I am happy back in London but I certainly don't hate Australia and would not rule out moving back one day if the circumstances are right. Had I gone at a time that suited me better, ie if I wasn't enjoying my job and the rest of my life, and secondly had I been a bit more assertive and said that I would go for two years and reassess it, but don't want to feel that I was thete forever from day one when its natural to be homesick. So I would suggest that you ask your girlfriend whether you can wait until something changes and makes you more keen to leave. Many things can make a dream job worse such as a new boss or moving locations. I appreciate this eoukd be tough for your gf as she will want to know whether this means one year or five years, or even longer. But you are very young so you have time on your side and going when you are not fully into it will not necessarily, but most likely be disastrous. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bound4Tassie Posted May 28, 2015 Share Posted May 28, 2015 If you genuinely want to be with this girl forever I would say that you think you should wait and see if her parents get PR. If they do and there's a work opportunity for you they give it a try. The caveat is that if you hate it after say 2 years you are coming home. If they don't get PR there's no point in her moving is there? If there are no air traffic jobs then you can't go anyway . If you are not sure about this relationship then don't even bother going. Sounds harsh but everyone likely to be happier in the long run after the initial pain. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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