Moved Back To The UK From Australia, Was It Hard To Adapt?

[Guest]

May be tougher for you. Sometimes it's hard to gauge how it will turn out. (My English wife would love to return to Australia)

 

My kids have only been schooled in the UK. But now they are at high school, they never see the kids they went to primary school with. Complete new social circle. It's not a bad time to move.

 

That's my thinking Newjez. It seems like a natural end point for us as a family after what will have been nearly a decade here by then. I personally could go home tomorrow without blinking, but I feel that my family need a longer run-up to it, to get them more used to the idea.

[Guest]

Living overseas changes you, there's no getting around that. When I worked in Africa, I met many many expats who told me they no longer felt they belonged 100% anywhere: when they'd gone back to the UK they hadn't been able to settle (in spite of yearning for it all through their first overseas sojourn), and yet they were all too aware of the shortcomings of other countries they'd lived in.

 

When I came to Australia, I remember thinking how glad I was that I'd been through the experience of moving overseas already - because I'd already been through the experience of heaving a great sigh of relief on arriving back in Scotland and then finding that it didn't match my rose-coloured memory of it! So when things were a bit of a struggle in Australia at first, I didn't fall into the trap of comparing it constantly to the UK - or of building my memories of the UK up into something unrealistic.

 

I think that if I'd wanted to come to Australia then it might have left some kind of imprint upon me upon leaving it, but as that wasn't the case I don't think it will change me. At least, not in a negative sense. I do think that it'll make me much more appreciative of the UK and probably less critical of the place when I head home though.

[VERYSTORMY]

I would say that maybe waiting until the end of primary is actually not a good idea. Just thinking from my own childhood, the friends that supported me in to the move of the big school where the ones I had made in primary.

[kiwiathome]

Hi endless winter. Your story is similar to mine. We have been here for nearly seven years and I am also waiting 3 years for my youngest to finish primary. However my eldest is in year 10, and for her it is easier to wait until she finishes year 12. Her school is directing her studies towards the English system and helping set her up for England Uni.

 

It is amazing how we can all think differently about when is the best time to go and for what reasons. We all have our own unique circumstances. If it was up to me personally and for "my own wants", I'd be moving back next week. Life is short and I would be so excited to be back in the UK. Yeah! However, not appropriate for the rest of the family, so we wait. So I treat my time here with making the best out of Australia (some days better than others), and we have a yearly plan to prepare/complete everything we need to do to hopefully have a seamless transition.

 

Am I allowed to ask why you want to move back? No worries if you don't want to say. All the best.

[newjez]

Hi endless winter. Your story is similar to mine. We have been here for nearly seven years and I am also waiting 3 years for my youngest to finish primary. However my eldest is in year 10, and for her it is easier to wait until she finishes year 12. Her school is directing her studies towards the English system and helping set her up for England Uni.

 

It is amazing how we can all think differently about when is the best time to go and for what reasons. We all have our own unique circumstances. If it was up to me personally and for "my own wants", I'd be moving back next week. Life is short and I would be so excited to be back in the UK. Yeah! However, not appropriate for the rest of the family, so we wait. So I treat my time here with making the best out of Australia (some days better than others), and we have a yearly plan to prepare/complete everything we need to do to hopefully have a seamless transition.

 

Am I allowed to ask why you want to move back? No worries if you don't want to say. All the best.

 

Have you checked residence requirements for UK uni? You don't want to be hit with up front fees.

[HappyHeart]

I would also urge a note of caution when thinking that moving back to the UK will 'fix' all things that make a person unhappy in a country. The worst case scenario (and not an uncommon one) is that when people realise their dream, be that to move to Australia or move back to the UK, the resolution is not what was expected. Maybe underlying issues are impacting. The worst (and most expensive) mistakes are made in migration. Only for the person to realise it had nothing to do with the country at all......just thinking out loud and may be irrelevant to your situation EW...

 

That way of thinking that says....I will be happy when....I get a promotion, lose weight, finish my studies, move house, move country?? Chasing things leads to unhappiness. I think the expectation can lead to a sense of deflation once the goal is achieved.

[Jacaranda]

Great post HH!The majority of people unfortunately think that way hey?I'll be happy when..........!.Trouble is,you could spend the rest of your life doing that when the real answer is "I'm going to be happy right now"!:cute:

[kiwiathome]

Hi just came back on. yes the resident requirements for uk uni we have checked. we know the score and have factored that into our budget. My eldest, bless her, will arrive post year 12. She will have Dec until English Sept (start of term) off. She will be expected to get a part time job, and put money towards her uni education. We have factored in, we will loose more money going back earlier, than if we stay here and budget for her not "being a UK resident". Hubby gets a long, big awaited pay rise next year. Just logical.

 

However, I do hope anyone going back with a near university student is aware of the residency requirements for UK university.

 

Again, we can't control life. Sometimes we have to plan. I love winging it and living on hope, but not right for the rest of my practical family. So we plan, and be practical. As long as we are healthy, reasonably healthy, and OK, can't complain. So much people worst off.

[foolboy]

It's interesting reading other posts regarding moving countries to fix your problems. This is one reason I feel a lot of moves fail. Australia is so pumped up that sometimes it just can't live up to all the hype. I've wanted to move back to the UK for a long time and will be in 4 weeks. I'm just glad I've put in the time the last few years and will be going back a much better person. If it fails I know I have done the best I can and will be okay coming back knowing it wasn't me. Whatever works for you is the best plan if it takes 3 years then good for you.

[Toussaint]

You have my deepest sympathies Toussaint, it's experiences like yours which have led to me persevering with living in Australia despite being at best ambivalent about the place. It does sound like Australia really feels like home to your family, is a return here a possibility for you?

 

Return is a possibility, but ping ponging is not, we cant afford to get it wrong. There is everything to be gained by us staying put for the next two years whilst youngest finishes her education without further disruption. I actually think, if we wanted to go then we would be in a much better position, my view is UK is on the way up, and Australia on a severe downward economic trajectory.

 

Ironically Endless, I didn't love Australia either, just like you I was ambivalent, but I knew we had grown away from England. But I didn't realise what a massive impression it had made on us, and how well off we were in many ways. So, a word of caution, you may be less "ambivalent" than you realise, I know now I was!

[Toussaint]

I returned a few years back when my kids were 9 and 11.Did'nt encounter any nastiness from other kids.Opposite,like Bristolman,my kids were the centre of attention,in a good way!!! My eldest would of had another year of primary had we stayed in Oz,but she went straight into high school.I felt abit nervous for her tbh but nope,she managed absolutely fine.The school she attended were very supportive as was my youngest's primary school.I gave myself 2 weeks off of looking for work to help get the kids settled,and myself,and started work after 2 weeks.(I didn't get the job before I left Oz). I kept an open mind about the move,and also asked the kids to do the same.I think that helped actually.I said right from the word go if any of us are unhappy,we would all sit down and discuss and take action.

I also think it depends where you move back to.Some places I think are more easy going,nicer and prettier.

I agree 3 yrs is a long time EW to sit around waiting.Once I make a decision I need to act on it there and then.If I returned to Australia to live,it would not be because I thought Australia was the better country.I have siblings and a son there.My daughters atm are very settled here,but if they returned to Oz,that would technically leave me here alone which I know I wouldn't be happy about!

 

Hello Jacaranda, I think its a whole different ball game moving primary school age children. My eldest was 13 when we moved to Oz, it was absolutely terrible for her, we had friends with teenage daughters , and they also had similar awful experiences. My youngest was 15 when moving back to the UK, and she has had a rotten time at school, they are both lovely kids. If is was advising anybody regarding migrating with children, whichever direction, I would say don't do it with teenagers, it can be very cruel. Yes I am sure the usual responses will come in re how teenagers have thrived in the move..... and I'm sure some do, but I know for a fact a lot resent it forever.

[fifi69]

As someone who has moved their children a few times...

 

move while they are in primary school is the best option IMO ..

 

Your right, the older the children the harder it is.

 

Even if they aren't going to the same secondary school as their primary school mates, it still just seems to give them a bit of "kudos" coming from a local primary in the area.

 

Friends are moving tomorrow from one Perth suburb to another, they wanted to see out their lease untill the end of the school year....they have two kids in primary....their eldest who has now left school, but was moved as a teen, told them, No, if your going to move do it now.

 

I myself moved countries in secondary school.....hey I coped, but it wasnt nice. That was one of the reasons we waited until both ours were out of the UK schooling system before moving....

[Guest]

Return is a possibility, but ping ponging is not, we cant afford to get it wrong. There is everything to be gained by us staying put for the next two years whilst youngest finishes her education without further disruption. I actually think, if we wanted to go then we would be in a much better position, my view is UK is on the way up, and Australia on a severe downward economic trajectory.

 

Ironically Endless, I didn't love Australia either, just like you I was ambivalent, but I knew we had grown away from England. But I didn't realise what a massive impression it had made on us, and how well off we were in many ways. So, a word of caution, you may be less "ambivalent" than you realise, I know now I was!

I wish! Nearly seven years in and ambivalent is about as good as it's going to get for me! No disrespect to the place / people, but I've never felt at home or made any kind of connections here. I read a post the other day questioning how the pull of the UK could be so strong for people who've been here for years, but that's me in a nutshell. In my heart I never really left the UK - hence why I'm such a rubbish immigrant! - and my ties to the place remain as tight as they were in 2008 when we came out here. The big problem for me would be guilt if my partner and daughter were unhappy there. I'm much better at managing my own emotions as a homesick Brit here, than I would be at coping with them being miserable.

[fifi69]

Lots of people never want to leave even the street they grew up in.

 

my brothers like that....gets a nose bleed if he has to visit the next town to where he lives.

 

some people like adventure...others are happy not venturing.

 

Shouldnt be an issue....your happy where your happy....wherever that may be.

[Guest]

Hi endless winter. Your story is similar to mine. We have been here for nearly seven years and I am also waiting 3 years for my youngest to finish primary. However my eldest is in year 10, and for her it is easier to wait until she finishes year 12. Her school is directing her studies towards the English system and helping set her up for England Uni.

 

It is amazing how we can all think differently about when is the best time to go and for what reasons. We all have our own unique circumstances. If it was up to me personally and for "my own wants", I'd be moving back next week. Life is short and I would be so excited to be back in the UK. Yeah! However, not appropriate for the rest of the family, so we wait. So I treat my time here with making the best out of Australia (some days better than others), and we have a yearly plan to prepare/complete everything we need to do to hopefully have a seamless transition.

 

Am I allowed to ask why you want to move back? No worries if you don't want to say. All the best.

Oh, no big secret to it Kiwiinaus, it's just that I think I've bored more than my fair share of people over the years with my story! For those who I've bored senseless over the years,........ look away now!

 

I'm British, partner is Australian and I never wanted to live here. Wasn't even that fussed on visiting to be honest. Came out here in 2008 and have always really struggled with it. Have never fitted in, and have remained desperately homesick throughout. Australia holds no interest for me (no offence intended) and so I've always had one eye fixed on the exit at all times. Desperately hoping to go home in the next few years.

[Guest]

I find this really sad. Life is too short to spend it somewhere you don't want to be. I feel for you I really do.

 

Just to echo Harpo's sentiments HH, I do think that he's really happy here. He's way happier here than I am, and even I've learned to live with the place, so that gives you a bit of a measure of where he's at. After all, he's just become an Australian citizen, which says a lot I think. But, that sense of belonging, is a fragile thing. My friendship with Harpo has immeasurably assisted my ability to cope with life here. Without him, I reckon that I'd have gone under long ago and maybe broken up a family in order to return home. Since 2010 we've looked out for each other, listened to each other moan and groan about the place, eaten a lot of curry, drunk even more beer, and managed to prop each other up. Long may it continue :smile:

[HappyHeart]

Just to echo Harpo's sentiments HH, I do think that he's really happy here. He's way happier here than I am, and even I've learned to live with the place, so that gives you a bit of a measure of where he's at. After all, he's just become an Australian citizen, which says a lot I think. But, that sense of belonging, is a fragile thing. My friendship with Harpo has immeasurably assisted my ability to cope with life here. Without him, I reckon that I'd have gone under long ago and maybe broken up a family in order to return home. Since 2010 we've looked out for each other, listened to each other moan and groan about the place, eaten a lot of curry, drunk even more beer, and managed to prop each other up. Long may it continue :smile:

 

 

A bit of mateship?:eek:...see!! You do fit in!:wubclub:

[Gbye grey sky]

I would say that maybe waiting until the end of primary is actually not a good idea. Just thinking from my own childhood, the friends that supported me in to the move of the big school where the ones I had made in primary.

 

I was going to say that too. I moved to another part of the UK when I was 11 and went straight into a new secondary school in a new area. Secondary school is a little daunting for any child suddenly being a newbie and the youngest but when you know nobody it's extra hard, believe me. Whilst some primary kids disperse to different secondary schools many stay together and share a strong bond having come from the same primary school.

[lismith25]

We are also thinking along similar lines. Been here 12 years and it's now looking like we will have a definite move before my eldest enters high school. She is in Year 2 currently, so we will either go next year at the end of semester 1(end of June) when she would go into Year 4 straight away or the last opportunity would be June 2017, to give her a year in primary with me before high school. And also it gives us the option for her to sit the 11+ for possible grammar school entry. We will probably keep our house here, but it's time to show our kids a different perspective. :wink:

[wakeboard1980]

Just to echo Harpo's sentiments HH, I do think that he's really happy here. He's way happier here than I am, and even I've learned to live with the place, so that gives you a bit of a measure of where he's at. After all, he's just become an Australian citizen, which says a lot I think. But, that sense of belonging, is a fragile thing. My friendship with Harpo has immeasurably assisted my ability to cope with life here. Without him, I reckon that I'd have gone under long ago and maybe broken up a family in order to return home. Since 2010 we've looked out for each other, listened to each other moan and groan about the place, eaten a lot of curry, drunk even more beer, and managed to prop each other up. Long may it continue :smile:

 

I bet that's fun .

 

when you come back I'll let you buy me a beer, we can compare an 'opposite' set of notes.

[newjez]

I was going to say that too. I moved to another part of the UK when I was 11 and went straight into a new secondary school in a new area. Secondary school is a little daunting for any child suddenly being a newbie and the youngest but when you know nobody it's extra hard, believe me. Whilst some primary kids disperse to different secondary schools many stay together and share a strong bond having come from the same primary school.

 

My eldest couldn't stand the kids he was at primary with, and was glad to be shot of them. My middle had some good friends at primary, but has gradually moved on. My youngest has a very tight primary friendship group, so it will be interesting when he goes.

[Guest]

I bet that's fun .

 

when you come back I'll let you buy me a beer, we can compare an 'opposite' set of notes.

 

Honestly Wakey, we're not that bad! We tend to talk about what we read on PIO rather than complain about Australia nowadays! If it's any consolation, you've always had my deepest sympathy as an Australian doing the reverse of what I've had to do - live in a country which isn't your own. As much as I love the UK (despite all it's crappy aspects) I don't imagine for a second that it's a picnic living there if you'd rather be home.

[wakeboard1980]

Honestly Wakey, we're not that bad! We tend to talk about what we read on PIO rather than complain about Australia nowadays! If it's any consolation, you've always had my deepest sympathy as an Australian doing the reverse of what I've had to do - live in a country which isn't your own. As much as I love the UK (despite all it's crappy aspects) I don't imagine for a second that it's a picnic living there if you'd rather be home.

 

Sometimes there are more important things in life though mate, isn't there. At least both are westernised free countries, it could be worse. I look forward to that beer

[london chap]

I've been here in Australia for nearly seven years now and am hoping to return home to the UK when our daughter completes her primary school education in three years time. Without going into all of the reasons why I'd like our family to make the move, I'm curious as to whether those who've made the move back have had any difficulty in adapting to the UK they returned to. In particular, I'm interested as to whether they've found that Australia had left such an imprint upon their lives that they struggled to readjust to living in the UK again, despite being clear in their hearts that they didn't want to remain in Australia?

I haven't read all the post however I agree waiting 3 years is far to long to wait to move as your daughter would be entering a school knowing no other child. Depending how confident she is could leave her open to feeling alone. Apart from that if you can wait 3 years I assume you're not unhappy.

I've not left the UK although heading to Australia soon. Unfortunately over the last seven years the UK has changed massively. For example food and house prices are far out of control and everybody I've spoke to say there better off in Australia, although I'm guessing it's not just the cost of living over there.

The other thing to bare in mind is you remember the UK when you was there, do you want to come back because you have good memories because that's what they are memories. All the people you knew would be different the shops pubs etc closed, moved or closed down.

A lot think the grass is always greener somewhere else but often this is not the case.

 

Could you not come to the UK on a holiday before making such a big choice

[kiwiathome]

Why are you heading to Australia soon? What makes you think this is better than UK? Food and house prices and general living are for out of control here (and manners and culture). Fair enough, each to their own, but why would you think this is better? What is your research??

 

Sometimes people over here have to wait 3 years due to logical circumstances, not feelings. Just way it is.

 

What is your knowledge of Australia??

 

I have been here for 7 years and still can't wait to leave. I adjusted and loved UK after six months. Yes, just my opinion. We are all different. If you think the best is to come here then good luck. Just would be interested in your reasoning.