Rodfan Posted May 20, 2008 Share Posted May 20, 2008 Hi Sandy 25 Your thread really cheered me up this morning! You are right I should just think about my ping- ponging decision, as another step in lifes journey and try not to get so uptight about what we have done. Going for a nice walk along the beach now.Cheers!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest taffy 62 Posted May 20, 2008 Share Posted May 20, 2008 :err:Hi, sorry to hear of your homesickness, I think you should go with how your heart feels and your gut instinct. Take this from someone who has already ping-ponged. We had been living in Melbourne for 2.5 years and I was soooooooo homesick, we returned home to the u.k. for just under 6 months, found everything just the same as we left...Husband and son really keen to come back and I thought I was too? as I had started to settle a bit just before we left, but now we are back those gut feelings of feeling homesick again have returned..I am so confused!!!! Hi. I have also felt the same as you, see my post Will I ever call australia home. It's a really hard time when you think you are in no mans land and feel that you dont belong anywhere and dont know what you want to do. Hopefully in time some thing will happen to make you know where you want to be and you feel totaly settled in one place or another. I must admit it does make a difference as once you decide and are happy and contented in your mind you dont even seem to think of the other place much and can also talk about it without emotional feelings. Some people are lucky and have these feelings straight away where for others it can take many years like me, and for some it may never happen. so I hope you will be one of the lucky ones and feel contentment in whatever place you eventualy decide to call home. I have learnt if your not sure its best to stay put:smile: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest sandy25 Posted May 20, 2008 Share Posted May 20, 2008 Hi Rodfan, you're welcome. I always think of life like a train journey, go back to the previous station or the beginning if i want to, move forward, get off at the next station, or stay on, enjoy the ride for now and see where it takes me. A bit like a mystery tour. If I don't like the view I read, if I do I look out the window and absorb it. That way I never feel trapped , stuck or have regrets. Money doesn't make me feel secure, just a balanced frame of mind. Take Care, wendy:spinny: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rodfan Posted May 20, 2008 Share Posted May 20, 2008 Hi,Taffy62 Thanks for your post I hope given more time, I will be able to feel settled and "normal" again. This is a good site, but wished I had discovered it before we decided to move anywhere!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lezo Posted May 20, 2008 Share Posted May 20, 2008 When we visited good friends of ours last year when over in Perth on a Rekkie, we couldn't believe the difference...They were all on for it and had visited Oz before, when it came to the day to go the nerves etc kicked in and the family ( Mother mainly) walked out and would have nothing to do with her son or grandsons, she felt hurt and maybe didn't think they would actually go through with it. When they arrived in Perth they decided to leave there furniture in storage as they were not going to stay after all, they got rented and my friends wife cried her self to sleep most nights, they let their feeling calm down and agreed to give it 6 months just because of the expense and treat it like a extended holiday for the children's sake at least. NOW...4 years later they are happy and settled, the mother eventually (2 years later) came for a visit and after seeing how they had settled and how much happier her grandchildren were made them promise never to come back to the UK as everything they had left for had only got worse. They tell me it took them 18 months to settle and in the first year they hated moving and had even booked one way flights back and paid a deposit on them. They told me " It will be 2 years before you know if you are going to stay, any sooner and you must be one of the lucky ones" 2 years seems to get mentioned a lot, we have also got friends who came back from Brisbane after 12 weeks and are now...6 months later going back to OZ....no wonder they call us ping-pong poms!! Good Luck whatever you decide.:unsure: hi just wanted to reply about ping pong poms, i arrived in oz with a 6mnth baby and 5 year old, took severe depression felt lonely isolated my baby was not the easiest in the world, any ho told my poor husband would leave on my own if he wouldnt book tickets. left after 1 year. 3 years on i cant believe wot state of mind i was in. maybe post natel or maybe not workin. any ho we started havin discussions about givin it another go. got til next july wi our resident visa, s. we both 32 and thinkin of our kids really. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lezo Posted May 22, 2008 Share Posted May 22, 2008 hi this is for rodfan new ti this site but felt you story like mine. I was the one wanted to come home and now I cant believe how much I regret it. I have load of friends some of which feel like family in melbourne. I know if we go through moving again it will have to be for ever, not fair on kids. Only eldest really she 8, other 2 are only 4 and 2. Its such a hard thing to do once never mind twice. were your family in uk upset at you moving to oz again, sorry but feel torn and need help!! lol lez Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rodfan Posted May 22, 2008 Share Posted May 22, 2008 Hi, lezo I had a lot of encouragement from my family to move "back" to OZ which I appreciate, and know deep, down they said bacause they want the best for us. "you will be better off". I think lifestyle here has a lot to offer for young families. However I think if you are not sure, you are definitley better to stay where you are...lots of luck in your decision. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest earlswood Posted May 22, 2008 Share Posted May 22, 2008 I know they say time is a great healer but in all honesty i cant give it any longer. I would be the first one to laugh and say that 8 weeks is not long enough. I speak to family & friends daily and bought me mam & dad a webcam, but when i see them it just makes me feel worse. I got a job when we arrived but i still didnt fit in, i really dont know what i expected when we got here. I could go back for a holiday but i still dont think this will improve anything. At the end of the day i tried it and i know that it's not for me, shame about the other half and poor bloody cats....... If you do not like Oz you do not like it....I think 2 months is enough and waiting another 2 months to see if you like it will probably be a waste of time and money...at least you have tried...go home with your head held high gal. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ali Posted May 22, 2008 Share Posted May 22, 2008 Earlswood B2B did go home and is wishing they hadn't and instead just gone for a visit. Ali Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest JoanneHattersley Posted May 23, 2008 Share Posted May 23, 2008 Earlswood B2B did go home and is wishing they hadn't and instead just gone for a visit. Ali Thats what I thought! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest David101 Posted May 23, 2008 Share Posted May 23, 2008 I am going through exactly what you are so completely understand your sadness. I got transferred with work from London at the end of february and I thought it would be a life changing experience having been sick of the rat race and grime of the UK. I now look back and wonder why I was stupid as to do this. Much as it is a lovely city, Melbourne and Australia is so isolating. Melbourne in particular is cold and dark which is something I hadnt counted on. I miss everything about London. The people, the entertainment, being a recognised city in the world.... I could go on forever. I just have to keep telling myself to embrace the changes and get on with it but its doesnt make the nights any easier or the days go by any quicker. I cant go back without losing face and probably my job so what do I do? I am finding it hard to meet people (I am single) as being a 'pom' in Australia seems to be a negative. I am just underwhelmed, homesick and could kick myself for taking London, my family and friends for granted. But maybe that is the lesson I am supposed to learn from this life change? If you do end up going home, hopefully you will look at the UK in a different light and enjoy it for the modern and booming country it is. Good luck! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Quoll Posted May 23, 2008 Share Posted May 23, 2008 I am going through exactly what you are so completely understand your sadness. I got transferred with work from London at the end of february and I thought it would be a life changing experience having been sick of the rat race and grime of the UK. I now look back and wonder why I was stupid as to do this. Much as it is a lovely city, Melbourne and Australia is so isolating. Melbourne in particular is cold and dark which is something I hadnt counted on. I miss everything about London. The people, the entertainment, being a recognised city in the world.... I could go on forever. I just have to keep telling myself to embrace the changes and get on with it but its doesnt make the nights any easier or the days go by any quicker. I cant go back without losing face and probably my job so what do I do? I am finding it hard to meet people (I am single) as being a 'pom' in Australia seems to be a negative. I am just underwhelmed, homesick and could kick myself for taking London, my family and friends for granted. But maybe that is the lesson I am supposed to learn from this life change? If you do end up going home, hopefully you will look at the UK in a different light and enjoy it for the modern and booming country it is. Good luck! Sorry it isnt working for you but I quite understand!!! Perhaps you could look upon this as a sabbatical say for 2 years and then look at moving back again. I really do believe that if you have an end date in view that it becomes much easier to manage. As for meeting people as a singleton - can you join a club of some sort? Try something interest or sport based for preference. It absolutely sux being where you dont want to be though and you have my sympathies! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest JoanneHattersley Posted May 23, 2008 Share Posted May 23, 2008 I am going through exactly what you are so completely understand your sadness. I got transferred with work from London at the end of february and I thought it would be a life changing experience having been sick of the rat race and grime of the UK. I now look back and wonder why I was stupid as to do this. Much as it is a lovely city, Melbourne and Australia is so isolating. Melbourne in particular is cold and dark which is something I hadnt counted on. I miss everything about London. The people, the entertainment, being a recognised city in the world.... I could go on forever. I just have to keep telling myself to embrace the changes and get on with it but its doesnt make the nights any easier or the days go by any quicker. I cant go back without losing face and probably my job so what do I do? I am finding it hard to meet people (I am single) as being a 'pom' in Australia seems to be a negative. I am just underwhelmed, homesick and could kick myself for taking London, my family and friends for granted. But maybe that is the lesson I am supposed to learn from this life change? If you do end up going home, hopefully you will look at the UK in a different light and enjoy it for the modern and booming country it is. Good luck! hi there David. I live in Brissie and have done for over three years. Previously we lived in Ilford, Essex and also in South Ockendon, Essex. Both on Londons outskirts and we used to go into London frequently. When we came here we wanted a lifestyle change and we got it here in Brissie. Since being here I have visited Melbourne as I have extended family there and as soon as the plane landed I thought...."thank god I dont live here". To me it was everything we had left behind. I know that there will be an army that disagree with me there. I guess what I am saying is......Would going to another Australian state benefit you? Try somewhere else. Re - homesickness - you ARE going to go through that. I have been here for much longer than you and I still get homesick. You never get over being homesick but you do learn to live with it and adapt to life. It will definately be harder I think being single as you dont have that other person to bounce off of, know what I mean!!! I`d be tempted to try moving states but as some people on here will tell you I am a huge Aussie fan!!! I loved it instantly. I guess that makes me one of the lucky ones eh! At the end of the day though, if its not for you , you`ll know! BUT think long and hard before upping sticks and going back! So many posters have gone back and some regretted it the instant the plane landed in UK!!! Good Luck with your decision + please keep us all updated!:wubclub: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
calNgary Posted May 23, 2008 Share Posted May 23, 2008 Jo ,gary is there at the moment for a few days and like you he said it reminds him very much of the Uk and not just because its freezing!!lol,ive never been so cant comment personally but he did say he was glad we came to Brisbane. Cal x Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest taffy 62 Posted May 23, 2008 Share Posted May 23, 2008 btb BTB. Maybe you could start a new thread saying: Update after moving back from oz after 8 weeks, and put your last thread saying what has happened there, as there seems a bit of confusion people dont realise that you have gone back. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest David101 Posted May 23, 2008 Share Posted May 23, 2008 Thanks for your words. I am defo going to try and stick it out. I know fully well that if I even went back to London for a week, I would regret this opportunity for the rest of my life. Melbourne is a tough city to crack which is why its so like London. Long working hours, very built up and I actually live right in the city so dont escape that. I do make an effort at the weekends to get to some open spaces. I think once summer comes, I will enjoy it more as I was hoping for an outdoor life and its too blinkin' cold! My company is Melbourne based and my Visa is with them so it Melbourne or nothing! Thanks again, its always good to hear from other who are ahead in this emotional rollercoaster.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest taffy 62 Posted May 23, 2008 Share Posted May 23, 2008 If you live in the city theres a backpackers on the cnr of spencer and flinders its on spencer street just up from the 7/11/ It has a bar and pool tables in it will get you socialising even though the people are only on holidays you will find heaps of poms there. Whilst in melbourne see if some people in work will be interested in going to the theatre restaurants like witches in britches or draculars, they are heaps of fun. Maybe start a thread of single guys social nights in melbourne Im sure there will be others in the same situation as you. Chin up its early days yet and Melbourne is nice once you get to know it, the nice weather will be there by september.:smile: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
patsmec Posted May 23, 2008 Share Posted May 23, 2008 I think there is a lot to be said for trying different areas, or even States like a lot of people have stated. I have a Cousin in the City, We love to visit her and spend a few days around London..........But I could never never see myself living there, it would drive me mad in no time at all !!:wacko: But obviously you can't judge the UK on London alone.....the same goes for Oz, we have said we are going to rent for well over a year and wait until we feel a lot more settled and have looked around different areas....lots of them! I know of one couple who emigrated to Brisbane and didn't settle at all for some reason and yet have now settled in Adelaide and love it ......they did consider coming back, but decided to try Adelaide first. I know not everybody can do that for various reasons, but it just goes to show how Oz can vary massively from state to state. My heart goes out to people who have made the move and come back only to realise their mistake and want to start the process all over again. Well done again to B2B for the honest post about their return to the UK. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest JoanneHattersley Posted May 23, 2008 Share Posted May 23, 2008 Well done again to B2B for the honest post about their return to the UK. Absolutely! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest sazzle76 Posted June 4, 2008 Share Posted June 4, 2008 B2B - and all the other posts related to this... This is something I and other potential movers will remember, every individual is different so will react in different ways. I know i will be gutted if my mum and dad dont come with us but I have learned from here to try a long stint, pay for family to come out to oz rather than fork out going back to uk, keep busy and maybe move states 1st - ~Im reckonin this maybe a large factor of fittin in and helping with the dreaded homesickness. but then only those who have done it really know. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest moonraker1961 Posted June 4, 2008 Share Posted June 4, 2008 All the best whatever you decide to do in the future.Home is where the heart is! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest JoanneHattersley Posted June 4, 2008 Share Posted June 4, 2008 B2B - and all the other posts related to this...This is something I and other potential movers will remember, every individual is different so will react in different ways. I know i will be gutted if my mum and dad dont come with us but I have learned from here to try a long stint, pay for family to come out to oz rather than fork out going back to uk, keep busy and maybe move states 1st - ~Im reckonin this maybe a large factor of fittin in and helping with the dreaded homesickness. but then only those who have done it really know. Your post is so right! It is hard, you do get homesick but as I have said before... If you embrace Australia, dont compare it to UK, laugh at and with yourself, and go with the flow you will do great! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Elizabeth Lilly Posted June 5, 2008 Share Posted June 5, 2008 Hi, our family came here when we were kids and they swam against the tide for decades. Nothing worked out like they thought it was going to. They lost 2 of their children and the strain of it all, with no family support (they were all back in UK) was so huge their marriage broke up. My dad became a daily drinker to ease the pain. Nightmare stuff... and yet they refused to give in and just go home. One must really question why... Do what you want and just be happy. Life's too short. Cheers, Liz Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest jchrisj Posted June 8, 2008 Share Posted June 8, 2008 New to this, I gotta say i live in bolton at the minute and we are emigrating to queensland. It's still raining here and the bloody beer is still warm! Load the barby queensland were on our way....................... and it'll be for a damn sight longer than 8 weeks. fnar fnar lol XXXX Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest JoanneHattersley Posted June 9, 2008 Share Posted June 9, 2008 B2B - are you still hanging around here? Hows life going in the UK now? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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