Guest Bolton2Brisbane Posted April 24, 2008 Share Posted April 24, 2008 Well finaly decided that this place is not for me, after much reflection cannot cope with these feelings and just want to get back on that plane. My partner has settled in and got a very good job with the Government, said that if it's not for me then just put it down to experiance. I really dont think i can settle and didnt expect the emotions of not seeing parents and friends would affect me so much . We have spent thousands moving cats across who now have to go into quarentine for 6 months, bought all things new etc. We came to OZ on 4 seperate occasions before we made the final decision, i feel so selfish as it was me who pushed for this move, sold our house, cars and for what daily crying and thousands of thoughts going on in my mind. I dont think this is homesickness and given that i have never ever been this upset it is quite difficult to get your head around. Need to start selling things now and get the cats and our flights booked for the next few weeks. Many thanks for everones kind words to previous messages which i have posted. Cheers. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
peggy Posted April 24, 2008 Share Posted April 24, 2008 Hi Sorry to hear how you are feeling. Just want to ask a couple of questions and not trying to critisize Did you think that this would happen before you left the uk as in what did you think to oz when you came out before. Have you tried to use skype and video chat with your family and friends, we do it once a month and its good to see the family. And the big one do you think 8 weeks is enough to get used to it over here. The last question will get some sparks out of ppl but i didnt intend it to be an accusation. But anyhow all the best in what you do. Peggy Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest JoanneHattersley Posted April 24, 2008 Share Posted April 24, 2008 This is just my thoughts and not trying to be too critical! You are talking to the person who used to bawl her eyes out watching Little House on the Prairie!! My OH, tough bloke bawled at Heathrow before we left. Just took one call from his Dad and he was off!!!) Move on three years............We are still here!!!! We love every second of this life. If it is people you are missing that IS homesickness. Homesickness is horrible to go through but for most people it CAN be worked through. Like the previous poster said, internet, skype, MSN, webcams all help. We buy OzCall phone vouchers. a $10 voucher gives you 1800 minutes of calls to the UK. Approx 1/2 cent per minute. I am theone that calls my Mum and talks for 2 hours at a go!!!! When we came we said we would give it two years no matter what. I used to see my parents very regularly along with other members of my family. Both OH and me have had some seriously crrappy days where we have missed people and the slightest thing can set you off....a TV program, a song that you hear.......! I go with the previous poster, Is 8 weeks really enough to know what you want to do? You said that you were the one that was wanting to come over. Think back to the reasons why you wanted to come. Are those reasons still relevent and those reasons still valid??? Also thnk of the reasons that you want to go home and weigh up the two. It is a horrendously expensive exercise to move here, go back + then realise that Oz really is where you wanna be. We know that we are very lucky with our life here. We settled incredibly quickly (despite bouts of missing people!!), we have had numerous visitors. When we said "You`ll have to come over............they ALL did!!!" Also my parents are emigrating over here and will be here from Nov-ish this year for good. That will be great for me! Ask my OH in a few months what it is like living with the M-I-L!!!!!! My OH left 2 children in the UK. When we left they were 17. That was a big wrench. However it was my OH that instigated the thoughts of Oz with us. Ironically I settled quicker than he did!!!!!! Think really carefully before you go. 8 weeks can seem like a long holiday, once everything kicks in and you are working hard, going out, living the good life.......you may feel better! Keep in touch on PIO!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Quoll Posted April 24, 2008 Share Posted April 24, 2008 All the best with your move home B2B. If this is what you need to do then good for you! I wish I had pulled the plug when we were able to do so and then I would not have found myself trapped here. Hope things go smoothly for you! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ali Posted April 24, 2008 Share Posted April 24, 2008 I'm really sorry that you're not settling and feeling unhappy, like Jo and Peggy I too wonder if 8 weeks is long enough (too long you'll say to feel this sad). Do you work? I ask because getting out meeting people is really helpful to helping you settle, and I'm sure it was one of the things that helped us all do so - hubby worked after 2 weeks, I started my job after 4 and Kids were in school, having a daily 'normal' routine and talking to people and having a laugh was a major boost when you're left feeling unsettled. The next thing is have you talked to a councellor? they could help you with your feelings, then if you decide to go back it will be less of a reaction to how you're feeling at that particular time. Your GP may be able to organise this via medicare. Migration is one of the biggest causes of depression in Aus. Have you got any visitors planned to come over or can they come over to help you through this? Good luck with whatever you decide - your hubby sounds really supportive Luv Alix Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Gollywobbler Posted April 24, 2008 Share Posted April 24, 2008 Hello B2B I know how you feel. I was born & brought up in Malaysia, and sent to boarding school in the UK on my own when I was 8. My sister was too young to come with me - she had to wait another 2 years. I was appallingly homesick to start with. However, if DOES ease if you give it enough time, I promise. My sister than moved to Oz when she was 21. She was there for about 4 years, perfectly happily, until something set her off and she bawled her eyes out down the phone to me. It decided that the solution was for me to go and see her, not the other way around. Because of work etc I couldn't get away until Christmas so that I could rolll the public holidays in with annual leave in order to get 5 weeks in Oz. Otheerwise it would only have been 3 weeks. I explained why I was going to leave it till Cristmas - then 5 months away. Elaine seemed OK about it. I felt that I should go and have a look and if it was really dire I would bring Elaine back to the UK with me. YOu know what? Just knowing that I was on my way - even though it wasn;t gping to be immediiately - did the trick. Elaine started to plan all the things she wanted to do and to show me whilst I was there. It was my first visit to WA though I had been to Oz before that. I didn't have a clue what to expect from WA - and it wasn't my overriding concern anyway. My concern was to find out what state Elaine was really in. Bless her - she was fine. She had obviously spent AGES planning to do all the things she thought I would enjoy. It made for a really good holiday for both of us. Is there someone in your family who could come out to you for a visit? I reckon that having a visit to look forward to and plan for might make all the difference to you in the same way as it did for my sister. I can't say it would definitely work, but you might want to give it some thought perhaps? Hugz Gill xx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest bohlesover Posted April 24, 2008 Share Posted April 24, 2008 Hi, Your post is so familiar it could be a post from me!! 18 months ago. I had all the exact feelings and one more than one occassion got the shipping companies in for estimates to go back, and like you it was ME who wanted this more than anyone, as Gill said, if there is any family that could come over then, it definately helps. I completely closed myself off when I went through this, and did not want to make friends with anyone, but I also complained that people were unfriendly!! I also had my daughter sent back to UK for trouble with her visa, that was not her fault, she is still there now and due back any day after a long hard fight, so depression, kicked in very early with me, and every day was a black day, we moved up to Cairns, away from Melbourne and the unfortunate start we had there, and things started to look brighter, we did have family come out to which helped, and skype, and cheap phone calls, but I always felt that we were missing out, and we also agreed to do the 2 year stint regardless, and put it down to experience, hubby also very supportive, and like yourself, thousands spent in moving costs!, I also beat myself up every day, and blamed myself for all the upset and mess I had caused, thankfully nobody else was thinking that way! another helpful tip is to look at the reasons that you wanted to leave, they are still there, and when I was told to do that, I immediately saw all the wonderful things about UK, that really did not exsist, I so know how you feel, and I also know that you will read this and all the other posts and think "yes but I really do not like it, and no one knows how I feel" we do, and if anyone had of told me 18 months ago that I would be giving this advice to someone then I would have told them to go and get certified!! amongst other things. I do hope you can see this through. Karen Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest mandy1 Posted April 24, 2008 Share Posted April 24, 2008 Hi Sorry to hear that you are not feeling very happy at the moment.We have been here 7 weeks and are settling in well but as you know only too well these first few weeks are emotionally exhausting. You 9we) have moved across the world, and everything is bound to feel very unsettled. Of course missing family & friends is all part of it and is something that you can't really prepare for. However maybe you should give it just a few weeks longer and see how you feel then. Don't forget that tomorrow is another day and you could feel a lot differently in a few weeks time once you've settled in to your new house and surroundings. Good Luck and pm me if you wnat to chat as we are at around the same tiume line as you Mandy x Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest grayda Posted April 24, 2008 Share Posted April 24, 2008 hello hope it all works out for you are you SURE you want to go back to BOLTON cold windy dark expensive crime ridden lol thought i would try to shock you out of the homesickness cant you get your mum and stuff to move over to Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
calNgary Posted April 24, 2008 Share Posted April 24, 2008 lol,,grayda!!! ,must admit though i wouldnt return to Bolton and im born n bred there!! BB can you not hold out at least another few months ?,there is no disputing the first few weeks are bloody hard i still have the odd down moment 18mth later but seriously think what your going back too.Think of the reasons you left,moving here is like setting out when you first left home ,,not easy but you get there in the end.If you would like to come around here for a chat and a brew please PM me id hate you to spend all that money going back to get there and think what have i done!!keep smiling Cal x Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest bohlesover Posted April 24, 2008 Share Posted April 24, 2008 B2B if you want me to call you on landline to chat please do. If you want then we can PM numbers. Karen Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Bolton2Brisbane Posted April 24, 2008 Share Posted April 24, 2008 I know they say time is a great healer but in all honesty i cant give it any longer. I would be the first one to laugh and say that 8 weeks is not long enough. I speak to family & friends daily and bought me mam & dad a webcam, but when i see them it just makes me feel worse. I got a job when we arrived but i still didnt fit in, i really dont know what i expected when we got here. I could go back for a holiday but i still dont think this will improve anything. At the end of the day i tried it and i know that it's not for me, shame about the other half and poor bloody cats....... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest grayda Posted April 24, 2008 Share Posted April 24, 2008 B2B looks like the whole sites rooting for you and some great people offering to help you up there do what i do 3 large single malts of a morning gets me thro the day then 3 of an evening gets me thro the night are you sure you want to go soon be winter in Bolton again Dg Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest bohlesover Posted April 24, 2008 Share Posted April 24, 2008 okay B2B only you know how you feel, I really hope you get back and feel relief, stay in touch and let us know how you go, hopefully now you have made that decision, you feel better already? hope so, take care. karen Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
joetrac Posted April 24, 2008 Share Posted April 24, 2008 I felt exactly the same when I arrived in Oct 05....and nothing has changed. People think Im crazy but I knew as soon as I left Glasgow Airport that i didn't want to leave , I keep thinking why am I doing this as I have a great life ,fantastic family and we both Had great jobs....I knew Brisbane would have to be extra special to keep me here ...when we arrived IMO it wasn't. I tried to tell myself that it was just the shock of leaving family,then it was cause we couldn't get a decent rental ,then problems with our house build ect...but you know what ,it was just that Oz aint for me...just as some know straight away they will love it...others know straight away they won't. You have to do whats right for your Family...I hope you find happiness soon. :wubclub: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ErmintrudeMcMoo Posted April 24, 2008 Share Posted April 24, 2008 I think you are the only one who can make this situation better for yourself and if that means going back then do it. If you find (god forbid) that you move back and then feel you have made a mistake in leaving Oz so soon, then that is something that can be dealt with at your own pace. Don`t stay in a place that is making you feel so unhappy, just make sure you are making the decision for the right reasons. All the best anyway. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest sandy25 Posted April 24, 2008 Share Posted April 24, 2008 Hiya b2b What good words on here. Returning home for a for a while sounds great. Maybe's that's what you need. My friends are about to return to Oz this week. They've been here 9 weeks and had plans to return to england, but after a week they realised the opportunities and wanted to go back to Oz. Most of all you have to do what is right for you and your family. I'm looking forward to the adventure one day and I just think of it as that. Even though I'm applying for permanent residency I'm gonna try and look at it as one big adventure, rough with the smooth. (but I'm not there yet). I went backpacking some time ago and after about 6 months felt homesick and it was a real physical sickness feeling. When I changed my perspective of it as being an adventure and could go home whenever i wished I loved the next 6 months of it. And now I'd give anything for that sense of adventure again. Best of wishes Have a holiday Luv Wendy:spinny: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Wottons Posted April 24, 2008 Share Posted April 24, 2008 I think maybe your emotions are just running a bit high, and the thought of only having the one way ticket and it's not a holiday but your life away from everyone must be scary. I fly out Monday and am panicking already! No matter how much planning etc you do nothing can prepare you for how you will really feel. However I have heard of so many people getting to OZ, and feeling that it isn't for them afterall. So they pack up spend a fortune going back to the UK. Then when they get back look around and remember why they left. They then end up spending more money going back to OZ again. I am not saying this is what you will do as only you know how you are feeling, but may be a short holiday back to the UK would be the answer first. Rather then shipping back your cats, etc and then regretting it. Try not to feel down and depressed, try to be positive and think about the reasons why you left the UK. Those reasons are still going to be there when you get back. Good luck xx:wubclub: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
suzy+1 Posted April 24, 2008 Share Posted April 24, 2008 LIFE IS TOO SHORT-get back on that plane if you are really not happy here, and be proud that you atleast tried it, 8 weeks or 8 months-if you feel that strongly then there is nothing wrong with going home. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest bohlesover Posted April 24, 2008 Share Posted April 24, 2008 Hi Wottons, from Romford, are you related to the Wottons from Isle of Dogs? just wondering. What part of Australia are you going to? Good luck with it all. Karen Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Rickard Family Posted April 24, 2008 Share Posted April 24, 2008 Hi All B2B good luck in what you decide hope you make the right decision, and WOW what replies from everyone it gave me goose bumps reading it,what support. I think coming back to uk for a hol sounds great because as you read on many threads it does make people relise why they left! Good luck:wubclub: Lou Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stuju Posted April 24, 2008 Share Posted April 24, 2008 I know they say time is a great healer but in all honesty i cant give it any longer. I would be the first one to laugh and say that 8 weeks is not long enough. I speak to family & friends daily and bought me mam & dad a webcam, but when i see them it just makes me feel worse. I got a job when we arrived but i still didnt fit in, i really dont know what i expected when we got here. I could go back for a holiday but i still dont think this will improve anything. At the end of the day i tried it and i know that it's not for me, shame about the other half and poor bloody cats....... Hiya, I know you have posted a couple of threads on how you feel about being in oz and also in a pm we sent to each other. So all im going to say is that i think you know where your heart is and you know whats right for you - so go grab it. All the good intentions & support from whoever is not going to make you change your mind & i really think you have finaly made your mind up. I wish you so so much luck & that you get sorted back in the uk soon and can begin to live your life again happily & smiling. Please do let us all know how you get on. Take care Gizmo x Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest JoanneHattersley Posted April 24, 2008 Share Posted April 24, 2008 I wish you so so much luck & that you get sorted back in the uk soon and can begin to libe your life again happily & smiling. Well said Gizmo! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest wendyc74 Posted April 24, 2008 Share Posted April 24, 2008 Hi Wottons, from Romford, are you related to the Wottons from Isle of Dogs? just wondering. What part of Australia are you going to? Good luck with it all.Karen (going off the thread a bit)but my my family is familiar with the wottons from the isle of dogs(they are from there too) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest bohlesover Posted April 24, 2008 Share Posted April 24, 2008 okay just wondered, thanks, good luck with your move Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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