Going back after only 8 weeks!!

[Guest Shkurka's]

Thanks for that, it is very hard to settle, and I have just had my first trip back to UK, not sure if it was the right thing to do, I have come back and feel very unsettled again! I have tried to find friends in these part but it is proving very hard, I am a very outgoing and sociable person, work is proving an even harder task! it seems for work that you did in UK is not recognised here, unless you have a certificate here....at a cost! so any poms in Cairns please look me up. My daughter has just arrived from UK she is 25 and already she wants out! it is not as easy as you might think trying to settle in another country, and I have now been here nearly 3 years....will it ever feel like home??

 

I will be in Cairns for Christmas and new year and would be interested in finding out more about your experience there. I do know a few people friends and family may be I could link you up with some new contacts!

Hopeyou have settled back in to the life again. :unsure:

[lezo]

mornin peeps (well it is here in leeds), i spent 10 years in melbourne.

came back after 16 months - really missed my parents in scotland, lasted 6 months and went back to melbourne for the rest of the duration, been back now17 years and miss oz like something silly. got grandkids in uk now - makes the decision harder on wether to leave them here and follow my heart back to oz.

Hard choice to make but i never thought my grandkids would be here so quickly, thought i could get the kids back to oz after my dad died, before they all started sprouting out babies,but all happened same time.

hi just wanted to say we moved to melbourne 4 years ago and lasted a year, i had 2nd child only 6 mnths old. I had always worked and had a social life before 2 nd child. Any ho i wasnt good and we came home to liverpool although oh from here i am scottish. We now want to go back and regret coming home although at the time maybe had no choice as was bad for our relationship the way i was. We have 3 daughters aged 8 4 2 and perm res visa runs out in may 09.

[Guest kali02]

No..plenty of aussies in London I have met working in bars who are living perpenant in the UK through marriage of parents... I love winter and especially xmas and I am never depressed at the weather in the UK as it does not stop me doing anything I want to do...never to hot and never to cold makes for a perfect climate IMO....you say short days in the winter in the UK being depressing, what about OZ when I go home from work in the dark summer or winter...how depressing is that

And for some the clouds get BIGGER not smaller belive me...horses for courses but IMO Oz does not compare to the UK in sooo many ways.

 

No idea what you do for a living seeing as you always get home in the dark, but there's only a couple of hours less sunlight at the height of summer in Melbourne (end Dec-mid Jan) than there is in the UK (June), and most of the difference is due to sunrise being much later in Melbourne (around 6am in Jan as opposed to 4.45ish in June in the UK).

 

I think I can do without that extra hour and a bit in the morning before I'm even thinking about waking up!:spinny:

It does set a half hour earlier in summer though (8.45ish in Jan v 9.20ish in June in the UK). Then again, I can sacrifice that for the chance that I might actually get to see the sun during the day.

 

Besides, on the otherhand you get more daylight in winter in Melbourne with sunset at approx 5.10pm in June as opposed to 3.50pm in November here. So, if you like doing outdoors stuff all year round, Aus wins!

 

I know summers in the UK aren't normally that bad, but what on earth happened this August?! :no:

[steveNem]

Oh you poor thing!! I totally know how you feel. I have moved countries twice in my life. I am aussie born and raised and moved to the UK 10 years ago and missed home terribly in the first few years. Still do. I feel like Im missing out on my little brothers life hes growing up thinking of getting married etc. And I have also lived in Brazil. A country where I knew no one and didnt even speak the language!! I had not known homesickness like it. I felt unbelievably low all the time. It was afterall my decision to be there.

 

However, it does pass. Things can get better. Or not really better but you get better at dealing with the emotions that it brings.

 

Im sure you have thought long and hard about your decision (probaly about nothing else) . I wish you all the best with your decision.

[Guest owdgrandad]

Hi all.I emigrated to Oz in 1970 and had the time of my life.

i left Oz in 93 after 23 years, i had lived in Melbourne met a lovely( and she still is) Ozzie girl we got married , moved up country to Swan Hill bought a business, had 2 boys and enjoyed a wonderful life.

But as so often happens we just got so tied up in the business we just grew apart, nobody else was involved it was just one of those things.

I decided to move back to Melbourne as a mate offered me a job.All went well for a while then one night sitting in my flat enjoying a beer or two i decided , hey its time i visited the family in the UK, i hadnt seen any of them for 20 years.

So i teed up a few weeks holiday from work and headed off, it was great , caught up with a lot of old mates, spent many a night at my old pub , went to watch my beloved Stoke City with my brother, it was great.

As it does all things must pass, it was time to go home to Oz, i was ready , id had my catch up and felt fullfilled and content, little did i know how it was to affect me on my return, i was mare than happy with my life in Oz, i had a casual girlfriend, i saw my boys every couple of weeks, things could not be better but there was something pulling me back to the UK, i dont know what it was because while i was there i thought , now i know why i left.

Anyhow i did return to the UK.

After a while i met a lady , a friend of a friend, and we started seeing a lot of each other , to cut a long story short we got married after 6 months , she has two sons from a previous marriage and with my two we have all we need kids wise,!!.

I had my boys over from Oz on three occasions for hols and the loved it .

I feel im tending to drift a little bit here but stick with it.

My OH and i decided on reaching sixty we really didnt want to stay in the UK as really its getting to be not a nice place to live , what with the crazy cost of living and the whole way of life being eroded by the government and the PC brigade, so we have moved over to France, i feel its a good compromise as my OH has her boys and grandkids in the UK and my boys are still single and on the move, as they tend to do in Oz.

So now im very happy here in France, i listen to 3 MP radio on the computer , read the Herald/Sun and The Age, and listen to the footy, Go North Mellbourne, my heart is still in Oz but hey it could be worse, i speak to my boys and my ex on Skype and we keep in touch via email, i cant ask for more can i, the weather here in central France is equal to Melbourne, summer at least , and the wine is cheap.

Im planning on going over to Melbourne for crimbo to have a beer or two with my boys , the world is so small nowadays there is no reason in the world we cant all keep in touch, or visit.

But just before i go , if anyone can come up with a cure for home sickness, they will be a millionaire, its the strongest emotion i know and i will never blame anyone for giving in to it.

 

cheers all and votre sante.¬!:jiggy:

[Guest Jeremy Grove]

I have been back in the UK since Feb last year after moving to Brisbane and staying 3 months. My wife like you just couldn't face it anymore.

 

My only advice is be sure it is what you both want. There isn't a day I don't wish I was back in Oz and I still can't forgive my wife for not giving it longer. I hate to say but I am not sure my marriage will survive this. We had been very happily married for over 20 years before we went to Oz and we were as keen as each other on the move. She even persuaded me to by some land within two months.

 

The UK is washed up for the next few years and Oz is a much better bet.

[Guest earlswood]

I have been back in the UK since Feb last year after moving to Brisbane and staying 3 months. My wife like you just couldn't face it anymore.

 

My only advice is be sure it is what you both want. There isn't a day I don't wish I was back in Oz and I still can't forgive my wife for not giving it longer. I hate to say but I am not sure my marriage will survive this. We had been very happily married for over 20 years before we went to Oz and we were as keen as each other on the move. She even persuaded me to by some land within two months.

 

The UK is washed up for the next few years and Oz is a much better bet.

Dont write it off just yet Jeremy, I am having a great time and love this Country warts and all.

[Quoll]

I have been back in the UK since Feb last year after moving to Brisbane and staying 3 months. My wife like you just couldn't face it anymore.

 

My only advice is be sure it is what you both want. There isn't a day I don't wish I was back in Oz and I still can't forgive my wife for not giving it longer. I hate to say but I am not sure my marriage will survive this. We had been very happily married for over 20 years before we went to Oz and we were as keen as each other on the move. She even persuaded me to by some land within two months.

 

The UK is washed up for the next few years and Oz is a much better bet.

 

LOL, after yesterday I think Australia is going to be struggling significantly as well - we were in a good position to ride out the storm but the PM has been stimulating like it is going out of style and we are already back into biiiig debt (which we werent when he took over).

 

I know UK is starting from a lower point but I still reckon there wont be that much difference in the end.

 

Sorry to hear that your marriage is suffering as a result - sounds like it would have suffered anyway with one of you wanting to be on one side of the world and one on the other. In that case one of you always has to compromise. Unfortunately for me I am the one who has to compromise and every day I wake up and my first thought is "OMG I am still here" - sure I resent the fact that he wont go home with me but my marriage is the most important thing to me and I can live here even though I have come to hate it because the thought of living somewhere else without him is too hard to contemplate! Perhaps you might like to venture into marriage counselling - a 20 year marriage is not worth throwing away and certainly not because of different views on a place to live.

[Guest sonia]

All the best with your move home B2B. If this is what you need to do then good for you! I wish I had pulled the plug when we were able to do so and then I would not have found myself trapped here. Hope things go smoothly for you!

 

I feel the same after 42 years. I am of the opinion that migration is horrendous and a part of you is forever in England( or wherever you come from)

[Guest chellynel]

The Grass is always greener on the other side hey ! you just have to make the most of what you have and enjoy the short time that we have on this wonderful planet ! You have been given an opportunity to try something that some people only "dream" about !! So if it doesn't work out and you go back to England it's not the end of the world.....it's better to have tried and failed than to have never tried at all !!

 

We have been here 7 months (I am Aussie originally & lived in London for 13 years & my hubby is South African & was in London 10 years) and I am still finding it hard to settle back in to life in Oz....I feel half British & miss alot of things about England (mainly our wonderful friends) !! But it doesn't happen overnight and you can't expect it to....it takes time to meet friends & build up social networks again....and they are never going to be exactly the same as the ones you had in the UK. But you just have to make the effort....which is what my OH and I were talking about this week. We need to make more of an effort to meet like minded people - so we are putting some social dates in the diary ...we are initiating invites...which we never needed to do in the UK !

 

Everyone says it takes 2-3 years to settle in properly and yes you will always miss things from home...but with technology as it is now you can at least "see" family & friends via Skype....and think about how often you saw them anyway when you were caught up in "life" in the UK. We used to go months without seeing people and they only lived 1 hr away from us in London !!

 

Life is short....enjoy every second ! thats my waffle for this morning !!

[Guest poeblo]

I cant say I do know how it feels ? I do know its hard to make friends from scratch and this does get on my nerves, however how I get around it is by joining my friends and family on facebook, you can post pictures and see their pictures, what they are up to and chat to them as well.

my fave night out is a glass of vino on the PC chatting to the UK ( not all 66 million of them of course )

In the meantime, my kids are in a good school, they are happy and it makes me happy to see them this way, the sun shines, its warm , people are friendly ( Ipswich was voted the friendliest City in SE Queensland last yr ) and it perks you up no end.

I think to dark mornings and starting the car up in my dressing gown to defrost it before work.

not seeing proper day light in Winter, Gas costing a fortune, working so many hours to make ends meet I didnt see anyone anyway ! I know more about what my friends and familey are doing via facebook than I ever did when I was in the UK. No one could say good morning to you where I lived for fear of commiting to a short conversation. I dont miss that one bit.

My uncle just went back to Bury after spending 2 months with us and my mum spent 5 months with us, My unlce didnt want to go back and I think both me and mum had spent enough time together, stay a little longer please ? if you are near Ipswich send me a PM and we can meet up

perhaps ? Cal will tell you Im ok and like a laugh

Paula in happy Ipswich

[calNgary]

I if you are near Ipswich send me a PM and we can meet up

perhaps ? Cal will tell you Im ok and like a laugh

Paula in happy Ipswich

 

Who Me ? lol,

Never heard of you love, your not my stalker are you ?

 

Only Joking , Paula is the best medicine for anyone feeling sad or having a rough time, she sure cheers me up when i need it !

I'm yet to meet a more honest and genuine person, she really does make you feel welcome,obviously her discounts at the RACQ have nothing to do it what so ever,lol.

( pay me later Paula,lol)

Cal x

[Guest treesea]

I am going through exactly what you are so completely understand your sadness.

 

I got transferred with work from London at the end of february and I thought it would be a life changing experience having been sick of the rat race and grime of the UK. I now look back and wonder why I was stupid as to do this.

 

Much as it is a lovely city, Melbourne and Australia is so isolating. Melbourne in particular is cold and dark which is something I hadnt counted on. I miss everything about London. The people, the entertainment, being a recognised city in the world.... I could go on forever.

 

I just have to keep telling myself to embrace the changes and get on with it but its doesnt make the nights any easier or the days go by any quicker. I cant go back without losing face and probably my job so what do I do? I am finding it hard to meet people (I am single) as being a 'pom' in Australia seems to be a negative.

 

I am just underwhelmed, homesick and could kick myself for taking London, my family and friends for granted. But maybe that is the lesson I am supposed to learn from this life change?

 

If you do end up going home, hopefully you will look at the UK in a different light and enjoy it for the modern and booming country it is. Good luck!

 

When we came back getting on for five years ago, to the UK from Melbourne, I fully intended to live in London, my home town. Well, I hadn't seen it for two decades. What a shock. So dirty and crowded, and with air pollution so bad you could see it. A day in London and my eyes were stinging. Plus that night my hair washed out black. I hadn't had that experience since the coal dust days of living in Northern China.

 

I wouldn't depend on Melbourne to be cold all the time. It definitely has its moments on the hot side, day and night.

 

I would agree that being English in Australia (as opposed to Irish, Scottish or Welsh, all of who are accepted fairly readily) can be a bit of a negative. But take heart. People who don't want to know you just because of your nationality, which really, if you think about it, is just an accident of birth, aren't worth knowing.

 

I found in Australia that I generally made stronger friendships when following my interests, be they at evening classes or doing things like sailing or bush walking. Meeting people through work is not always the best. After all you don't choose to work with the people you work with usually, and nine times out of ten you are probably not going to have much in common with them.

 

A girlfriend of mine who was single and a New Zealander didn't know anyone in Melbourne except for us when she first went there on a work transfer. She used to go to things like Dinner for Six. She met quite a few people through organised dinner parties for singles and seemed to keep up the friendship with them over time.

[Guest treesea]

Sarah lives on a lovely estate and I don't think it is because she lives in Cranbourne!! Sometimes you just miss family, we found it hard when we first arrived and Christmas was terrible, 4 years on we are happy and have settled very well and wouldn't dream of going back to the UK.

I hope your not getting the flu Sarah it sounds like it:unsure:

 

Moving2melbourne, what is it about you and the outskirts of Melbourne being a good place to stay? Relative to most of the rest of Melbourne, places like Cranbourne, Narre Warren and Berwick are awful places to live. Endless suburbia, hardly any facilities, and costs an arm and a leg in petrol to go anywhere, especially into the city. Barely a soul on the streets, the suburbs empty during the weekdays, everyone using their cars to get around, terrible public transport links compared to places closer in to the city. I wouldn't live in places like that in any city, let alone Melbourne.

 

What's wrong with places like Burwood, Bentleigh East, Box Hill and the like? At least those suburbs, though still 20 km or so from town, so not having the built up feeling of the inner city, have heaps of character and are central to everywhere.

[Guest JoanneHattersley]

Moving2melbourne, what is it about you and the outskirts of Melbourne being a good place to stay? Relative to most of the rest of Melbourne, places like Cranbourne, Narre Warren and Berwick are awful places to live. Endless suburbia, hardly any facilities, and costs an arm and a leg in petrol to go anywhere, especially into the city. Barely a soul on the streets, the suburbs empty during the weekdays, everyone using their cars to get around, terrible public transport links compared to places closer in to the city. I wouldn't live in places like that in any city, let alone Melbourne.

 

What's wrong with places like Burwood, Bentleigh East, Box Hill and the like? At least those suburbs, though still 20 km or so from town, so not having the built up feeling of the inner city, have heaps of character and are central to everywhere.

 

Treesea, I think you should have a little respect for M2M and accept that she may have a different opinoin to yours!

We all have differing opinions and I would hope that on PIO we are all "big enough" to accept and respect each other and our thoughts.

 

(Also this is an old post that has recently reappeared)

[Guest TheArmChairDetective]

Moving2melbourne, what is it about you and the outskirts of Melbourne being a good place to stay? Relative to most of the rest of Melbourne, places like Cranbourne, Narre Warren and Berwick are awful places to live. .

 

Treesa, My family live in Berwick, and I visit now and then. I think your post is just a bit of baiting. The Eastern Suburbs aka Mornington is probably the bes part of Melbourne.

[Guest Elizabeth Lilly]

All the best with your move home B2B. If this is what you need to do then good for you! I wish I had pulled the plug when we were able to do so and then I would not have found myself trapped here. Hope things go smoothly for you!

Couldn't agree more.. It's just not for everyone. Many Poms me included will always feel the ache of longing to go home. I say go, while you have the option. Don't worry about lost funds. Put it down to experience. Life's too short to worry about a few lost dollars. :yes:God speed. all the best, from Liz

[Mongrel]

Couldn't agree more.. It's just not for everyone. Many Poms me included will always feel the ache of longing to go home. I say go, while you have the option. Don't worry about lost funds. Put it down to experience. Life's too short to worry about a few lost dollars. :yes:God speed. all the best, from Liz

 

ERRRRR you mite find btb has gone back and is comin back out again

[Guest JoanneHattersley]

Absolutely right there!!

[Guest treesea]

Treesa, My family live in Berwick, and I visit now and then. I think your post is just a bit of baiting. The Eastern Suburbs aka Mornington is probably the bes part of Melbourne.

 

Yes, I agree the Mornington Peninsula is a beautiful place to live, but is it ideal for people who need to work, as opposed to retirees? There isn't much work down on the Mornington Peninsula and getting into the CBD from there would be just horrendous by car in the morning rush hour. There would be the option of driving into Frankston and taking the train, but even so, it would still be a long trek each day.

 

Melbourne is a really vast city, and having visited a fair bit of Britain since we came back, I very much doubt that people coming from Britain realise just how far away from the city centre places like Narre Warren, Cranborne, Berwick, Pakenham and the like really are. Or how suburban they are. Even where we lived before we came back to the UK, (Croydon North), a "mere" 37 km from the city centre, wasn't exactly convenient for public transport. The nearest really nice parks, for instance, were at Lilydale and Ringwood. I had a mere 10km trip to work and it took a good half an hour, door to door, bumper to bumper traffic all the way. And that was driving. Public transport? Forget it. During the week our bus ran once an hour and nothing at all on Sundays.

 

Having to drive everywhere, needing to run two cars, having to invest in a zone 3 daily ticket rather than a zone 1 ticket to go into the city, taking an hour and twenty minutes to get to work each way instead of a quick twenty minute drive or tram trip - it all adds up. The suburbs on the outskirts of a huge city like Melbourne may not be the "bargain" they look at first glance.

 

There are so many nice areas in Melbourne within a 10-20km distance from the city, especially to the south east of the city. For instance Glen Waverley, Vermont, Box Hill, Mont Albert, Oakleigh, Caulfield, Surrey Hills, Camberwell, Burwood, East Bentleigh. All of these are well established suburbs with loads of character.

[Guest proud2beaussie]

For instance Glen Waverley, Vermont, Box Hill, Mont Albert, Oakleigh, Caulfield, Surrey Hills, Camberwell, Burwood, East Bentleigh. All of these are well established suburbs with loads of character

 

You make excellent points throughout your post treesea,but please remember that some of the suburbs you mention like camberwell and Mont Albert are much more expensive places to buy a house than narre warren.the average house price for mont albert would be well over $600,000 if not more and the cost of the house is the main reason people move to the outer suburbs,plus the fact there just isnt land available in the inner suburbs to build on anymore.

Also living on the mornington peninsula is not that hard,my sister lives in somerville and works in st.kilda,using the freeway from frankston she gets to work in 55 minutes door to door on an average day.

 

Edited to add-just looked at domain.com, average house price Narre Warren North is $550,000, Mont Albert is $880,000.at todays exchange rate $880,000 equals £394,257.-not cheap.

[Guest peterb]

..what is it about you and the outskirts of Melbourne being a good place to stay? Relative to most of the rest of Melbourne, places like Cranbourne, Narre Warren and Berwick are awful places to live. Endless suburbia, hardly any facilities, and costs an arm and a leg in petrol to go anywhere, .

 

If I may be permitted to pick up on this comment, from what I understand treesea, like myself, you're now back in the UK, for the last 5 years I believe. I've been back about 6 months. You commented about how London had changed in your absence. Surely the point is that if you've been away from a country for so long, then you're not in the best position to judge anymore, some suburbs will no doubt have changed beyond recognition in the 5 years you have been away.

Development is going on all the time I no doubt if I went back now, there would be a big change from when I left.

You also mentioned Zone3 rail tickets - I believe Zone3 was abolished in early 2007 so there's only zones 1&2 now.

Also, as the population of Metropolitan Melbourne is around the 4million mark, I think it's safe to assume that not everyone works in the CBD, so transport to the CBD is not a factor for everyone. Indeed the state government earmarked Frankston, Dandenong, Broadmeadows, Box Hill, Footscray and Ringwood as suburban business hubs to provide job opportunities away from the CBD.

Surely the best thing is to let people decide for themselves where they want to live. As Nigel pointed out, nobody is disputing that the suburbs you mention are nice, however, for a lot of people, property in those areas is out of there price bracket.

Think of the idiom "One man's meat is another man's poison" and lets try and veer away from the "my suburb/city/state/country" (delete as applicable) is better than yours" type of argument.:idea:

[Guest TheArmChairDetective]

Yes, I agree the Mornington Peninsula is a beautiful place to live, but is it ideal for people who need to work, as opposed to retirees? There isn't much work down on the Mornington Peninsula and getting into the CBD from there would be just horrendous by car in the morning rush hour. There would be the option of driving into Frankston and taking the train, but even so, it would still be a long trek each day.

 

I think that people who want to emigrate might just realise that the jobs are going to be in the places with shortages, not the popular places that the locals have been populating over Australia's history.

As for work travelling time. I used to have a 1 and a half hour commute ON A TRAIN to get to Birmingham to work. My brother in Berwick has a one hour drive to get to the CBD.

It's a one hour 44 minutes drive from Sorrento Ferry port to Melbourne CBD, I think I'd rather be driving that Journey every day than its equivalent up the M5 into Brum.

The point is one goes where the work is and then chooses where one wants to live.

[Guest treesea]

I think that people who want to emigrate might just realise that the jobs are going to be in the places with shortages, not the popular places that the locals have been populating over Australia's history.

As for work travelling time. I used to have a 1 and a half hour commute ON A TRAIN to get to Birmingham to work. My brother in Berwick has a one hour drive to get to the CBD.

It's a one hour 44 minutes drive from Sorrento Ferry port to Melbourne CBD, I think I'd rather be driving that Journey every day than its equivalent up the M5 into Brum.

The point is one goes where the work is and then chooses where one wants to live.

 

Well, I had a period in Melbourne driving one and a quarter hours to work each way, and that was against the traffic, i.e. living in the inner city and driving to the outskirts to work. Goodness knows how the people on the Eastern Freeway Carpark, going the other way into town coped every day. Agfter five years, travelling by car must surely be worse than when I was there, given the way Melbourne has expanded. No thanks, never again, I would MUCH rather take the train.

[Guest smc01]

Well, I had a period in Melbourne driving one and a quarter hours to work each way, and that was against the traffic, i.e. living in the inner city and driving to the outskirts to work. Goodness knows how the people on the Eastern Freeway Carpark, going the other way into town coped every day. Agfter five years, travelling by car must surely be worse than when I was there, given the way Melbourne has expanded. No thanks, never again, I would MUCH rather take the train.

 

Yes, the city has expanded but so too the freeways! Traffic on the eastern or Monash freeways (can't comment on Eastlink as was opened after I left) is no worse than parts of the M25 in peak hour.

 

Also, you mentioned earlier the cost of transport, it is nowhere near as expensive as the UK!! Firstly, as another poster mentioned, Zone 3 was abolished early 2007 so there are only 2 zones in all of Melbourne, which is 3 times the size if London. It costs £2 for a one way journey on the tube, that's equivalent to about $4.50 or so. It costs me £12.80 to get to Waterloo from Woking, which is about an hour's drive out of London. That's somewhere in the region of $30!! To get a daily zone 1 & 2 (which could also take you from the city to somewhere equal to Woking) costs $10.80, or about £4!!