Wanderer Returns Posted October 7, 2014 Share Posted October 7, 2014 Hi to one and all. I've been living in Oz for almost 11 years, having lasted 1 week in Melbourne (!), 1 year in Sydney, 7 years in Brisbane and the last 3 years in Cairns. My wife and I visited the UK last year for Christmas/NY and decided to try and return to take care of my mum who is now 85 and struggling to live independently. This became all the more urgent by April when she had a minor fall and needed to go into hospital for a few days, especially as there were/are no other family in the UK to take care of her. Pretty much this whole year has been taken up trying to find a way back - job applications, interviews, meeting English language requirements and a mountain of never-ending paperwork to be completed. I can't begin to describe how stressful and infuriating it's been to have been stuck in this 'limbo state' for most of 2014, not knowing where we would be in 3 month's time - especially as we've already given notice to our employers, landlord and we've already started selling most of our belongings on eBay and spent at least $5,000 on visa fees, air fares and packing cases. Imagine our relief when this morning my wife received her passport from VFS with a 3-year UK settlement visa! :-) A huge relief and a lot of excitement about finally being able to move on but I do feel a little melancholic about the prospect of leaving Australia, having lived here for the last quarter of my life. I'm almost tempted to consider the move to the UK as a temporary one, but I believe if I think in those terms it will make it more difficult for me/us to adjust to life there. I'm not negative about the UK at all, but I am realistic; high unemployment; soaring crime rates; over-population and religious/racial tensions (at least when compared to Australia). I've promised myself to keep the TV firmly switched off around 'news time' to avoid the endless depressing diatribe - this shouldn't be too hard as I haven't owned a TV for several years, so I'm out of the habit! On the positive side there are a lot of good things to look forward too - spending time with family, close friends and a rich diversity of culture and countries on our doorstep, which is so much more accessible than anything here. I read PIO forum far more often than I post and I try to avoid getting sucked into the 'UK v Oz' debate (although I sometimes I succumb). I firmly believe that if you're not happy in the UK then you probably won't be happy in Oz after the novelty has worn off, and vice versa. Happiness comes from within; it comes from a sense of belonging, from the relationships we create and ultimately, those who become an integral part of our lives. Yes, you can extol the tangible benefits of living in a certain location, but if you don't pack happiness in your suitcase before you leave, then you won't find it there either, no matter how wondrous and exotic your chosen Nirvana appears to be. That is the only advice I can offer to prospective migrants, in either direction. If you have any advice about anything we should leave in place and what 'boxes to tick off' before leaving Oz, then please post. Lively debate is also encouraged without fear of causing offence or receiving unpleasant rebukes! All the best, Martin. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lambethlad Posted October 7, 2014 Share Posted October 7, 2014 It sounds like it's time your mum went into a nursing home. We struggled for years with my MIL and kept putting it off but finally made the decision. We felt terrible about doing it- but guess what? She has a new lease of life - she has now got friends when before she had none and she joins in all the games and social activities. She doesn't really need us anymore. Good luck with your move. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gbye grey sky Posted October 7, 2014 Share Posted October 7, 2014 I'm not negative about the UK at all, but I am realistic; high unemployment; soaring crime rates; over-population and religious/racial tensions (at least when compared to Australia). I've promised myself to keep the TV firmly switched off around 'news time' to avoid the endless depressing diatribe - this shouldn't be too hard as I haven't owned a TV for several years, so I'm out of the habit! Happy that you have sorted the visa out. Just wanted to provide a bit of reassurance (and unbiased since I am heading to Queensland) that UK unemployment is falling and crime is supposedly falling (certainly not soaring anyway). Guess it depends where you live but I have not noticed any religious/racial tensions (or certainly no more than there ever were) either. Its the same old UK you left 11 years ago really for good or ill. Best of luck with the move. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jacaranda Posted October 7, 2014 Share Posted October 7, 2014 I'm with Gbye grey sky.I live in Wiltshire,and crime here is low.I also don't know anyone unemployed!Thats my own personal experience though!FWIW,I took a career break back to Oz this year for 6 mths,to spend time with my Mum (who was 83),and also make up my own mind if I wanted to return back to Oz to live.(I had spent 30 yrs there).I do love both countries,both different of course.For myself,I love being able to ramble over countryside,love the fact that yes its warm in summer but you don't need an aircon,I like the fact its cold in winter and at Xmas,love that we can travel relatively cheaply alot,I could go on but I feel my own life is enriched by living here.I did love my life in Oz too,yes,different,but I needed a change when my marriage ended (to an aussie). I thought you sounded abit bitter in your other posts,and quite negative towards the UK,please try and re focus on the positives of this move.Can I ask you something?If it was'nt for your Mum needing help,would you move back?If not then I think you perhaps need to rethink this move. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jack91 Posted October 7, 2014 Share Posted October 7, 2014 You clearly get your news from somewhere as those things aren't really true.... Nothing has changed, it really hasn't. Sure you'll be fine and settle in just as you were! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Quoll Posted October 7, 2014 Share Posted October 7, 2014 Assume you've got Aus citizenship just in case! Youll probably find find the biggest challenge to be the carer role TBH. That's far and away the hardest thing we find here although caring for a dementia driven barely mobile nonagenarian was never going to be a walk in the park. We moved to my home town but I treated it as a move to a brand new place and went out of my way to make new connections. We don't see all the doom and gloom around here I must admit and for us as oldies there is just so much to see and do that we struggle to find space in the diary to do it all. I tend to view life as an adventure and nothing is forever so if this is what you have to do get on and have a ball! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jennifer Shields Posted October 7, 2014 Share Posted October 7, 2014 If you have citizenship you can always come back.There is no easy time when our parents are of late years and need us .But nothing is forever. Enjoy your time at home you have had a great adventure in Oz and a new chapter in your life. Some part will be sad but family always comes first. Look forward to a lovely Christmas looking back is just a waste of time.Enjoy the here and now life is an adventure and we all send you are best wishes for the future. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted October 8, 2014 Share Posted October 8, 2014 Hi to one and all. I've been living in Oz for almost 11 years, having lasted 1 week in Melbourne (!), 1 year in Sydney, 7 years in Brisbane and the last 3 years in Cairns. My wife and I visited the UK last year for Christmas/NY and decided to try and return to take care of my mum who is now 85 and struggling to live independently. This became all the more urgent by April when she had a minor fall and needed to go into hospital for a few days, especially as there were/are no other family in the UK to take care of her. Pretty much this whole year has been taken up trying to find a way back - job applications, interviews, meeting English language requirements and a mountain of never-ending paperwork to be completed. I can't begin to describe how stressful and infuriating it's been to have been stuck in this 'limbo state' for most of 2014, not knowing where we would be in 3 month's time - especially as we've already given notice to our employers, landlord and we've already started selling most of our belongings on eBay and spent at least $5,000 on visa fees, air fares and packing cases. Imagine our relief when this morning my wife received her passport from VFS with a 3-year UK settlement visa! :-) A huge relief and a lot of excitement about finally being able to move on but I do feel a little melancholic about the prospect of leaving Australia, having lived here for the last quarter of my life. I'm almost tempted to consider the move to the UK as a temporary one, but I believe if I think in those terms it will make it more difficult for me/us to adjust to life there. I'm not negative about the UK at all, but I am realistic; high unemployment; soaring crime rates; over-population and religious/racial tensions (at least when compared to Australia). I've promised myself to keep the TV firmly switched off around 'news time' to avoid the endless depressing diatribe - this shouldn't be too hard as I haven't owned a TV for several years, so I'm out of the habit! On the positive side there are a lot of good things to look forward too - spending time with family, close friends and a rich diversity of culture and countries on our doorstep, which is so much more accessible than anything here. I read PIO forum far more often than I post and I try to avoid getting sucked into the 'UK v Oz' debate (although I sometimes I succumb). I firmly believe that if you're not happy in the UK then you probably won't be happy in Oz after the novelty has worn off, and vice versa. Happiness comes from within; it comes from a sense of belonging, from the relationships we create and ultimately, those who become an integral part of our lives. Yes, you can extol the tangible benefits of living in a certain location, but if you don't pack happiness in your suitcase before you leave, then you won't find it there either, no matter how wondrous and exotic your chosen Nirvana appears to be. That is the only advice I can offer to prospective migrants, in either direction. If you have any advice about anything we should leave in place and what 'boxes to tick off' before leaving Oz, then please post. Lively debate is also encouraged without fear of causing offence or receiving unpleasant rebukes! All the best, Martin. Can i ask is your wife an Australian and how long did the i'm assuming it's a spouse visa take please. Did you use an agent ? If you did it yourself was it difficult? Cheers and good luck with everything. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
miw54 Posted October 8, 2014 Share Posted October 8, 2014 My problem is that I love both Oz and the UK. Makes for a very restless existence, back and forth and filled with excitement every time whichever way I'm heading. I just cannot live in either one exclusively but guess, if absolutely forced to by health or finances, it would have to be the UK purely for family and where my roots lie. These two countries are the best in the world but for different reasons. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Aunt Agatha Posted October 9, 2014 Share Posted October 9, 2014 Congratulations on the visa, great news and must be a huge relief. We've also had a happy 11 years in Australia and are moving back to the UK in Feb - I think some wobbles are perfectly natural. The uncertainty is the curse of the happy traveller I think. The UK has its problems (doesn't everywhere?) but I think the issues are overblown by the media and on PIO sometimes. I was half expecting a "chav" army on arrival back in England for a holiday last year and it couldn't have been further from the truth! We are lucky to have the opportunity to live in two great countries, look forward and enjoy your new adventure! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Keefo Posted October 9, 2014 Share Posted October 9, 2014 Warm in summer in England but don't need the air con....which few days are those [emoji23] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DavidCellist Posted October 9, 2014 Share Posted October 9, 2014 Hi to one and all. I've been living in Oz for almost 11 years, having lasted 1 week in Melbourne (!), 1 year in Sydney, 7 years in Brisbane and the last 3 years in Cairns. My wife and I visited the UK last year for Christmas/NY and decided to try and return to take care of my mum who is now 85 and struggling to live independently. This became all the more urgent by April when she had a minor fall and needed to go into hospital for a few days, especially as there were/are no other family in the UK to take care of her. Pretty much this whole year has been taken up trying to find a way back - job applications, interviews, meeting English language requirements and a mountain of never-ending paperwork to be completed. I can't begin to describe how stressful and infuriating it's been to have been stuck in this 'limbo state' for most of 2014, not knowing where we would be in 3 month's time - especially as we've already given notice to our employers, landlord and we've already started selling most of our belongings on eBay and spent at least $5,000 on visa fees, air fares and packing cases. Imagine our relief when this morning my wife received her passport from VFS with a 3-year UK settlement visa! :-) A huge relief and a lot of excitement about finally being able to move on but I do feel a little melancholic about the prospect of leaving Australia, having lived here for the last quarter of my life. I'm almost tempted to consider the move to the UK as a temporary one, but I believe if I think in those terms it will make it more difficult for me/us to adjust to life there. I'm not negative about the UK at all, but I am realistic; high unemployment; soaring crime rates; over-population and religious/racial tensions (at least when compared to Australia). I've promised myself to keep the TV firmly switched off around 'news time' to avoid the endless depressing diatribe - this shouldn't be too hard as I haven't owned a TV for several years, so I'm out of the habit! On the positive side there are a lot of good things to look forward too - spending time with family, close friends and a rich diversity of culture and countries on our doorstep, which is so much more accessible than anything here. I read PIO forum far more often than I post and I try to avoid getting sucked into the 'UK v Oz' debate (although I sometimes I succumb). I firmly believe that if you're not happy in the UK then you probably won't be happy in Oz after the novelty has worn off, and vice versa. Happiness comes from within; it comes from a sense of belonging, from the relationships we create and ultimately, those who become an integral part of our lives. Yes, you can extol the tangible benefits of living in a certain location, but if you don't pack happiness in your suitcase before you leave, then you won't find it there either, no matter how wondrous and exotic your chosen Nirvana appears to be. That is the only advice I can offer to prospective migrants, in either direction. If you have any advice about anything we should leave in place and what 'boxes to tick off' before leaving Oz, then please post. Lively debate is also encouraged without fear of causing offence or receiving unpleasant rebukes! All the best, Martin. Yes mate - too true. I just got my RRV - as rare as rocking horse poo - so now I can finally re-join my beautiful wife and children in England. I love the heat and the smell of the flora in Australia; the culture in Melbourne is excellent; a bike ride down St Kilda road in Spring is a unique source of joy...but home is where the heart is. Make a choice - then stick with it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
vickyplum Posted October 9, 2014 Share Posted October 9, 2014 I agree with @Gbye grey sky - I live in London and do not notice any of the things you mention, and this is the most populated city in the UK. Yes, I'm sure if I lived in a different area it might be different, but if you live in an average-to-nice area, these issues will be articles in the Daily Mail and not your daily reality. The UK is overpopulated compared to Australia, for sure, but Australia is a pretty unique example in that respect. You are not without crime/tension, racial or otherwise. Keep positive and I think you will be pleasantly surprised! Happy that you have sorted the visa out. Just wanted to provide a bit of reassurance (and unbiased since I am heading to Queensland) that UK unemployment is falling and crime is supposedly falling (certainly not soaring anyway). Guess it depends where you live but I have not noticed any religious/racial tensions (or certainly no more than there ever were) either. Its the same old UK you left 11 years ago really for good or ill. Best of luck with the move. I'm not negative about the UK at all, but I am realistic; high unemployment; soaring crime rates; over-population and religious/racial tensions (at least when compared to Australia). Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
starlight7 Posted October 9, 2014 Share Posted October 9, 2014 You'll be right- and anyway, what's to stop you returning in a few year's time if that's what you want? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wanderer Returns Posted October 9, 2014 Author Share Posted October 9, 2014 I'd like to thank everyone for their support and thoughtful comments, many of which I've taken on board. I'd probably draw the line at shoving my mum into an old folk's home just yet because she hasn't reached the stage where she needs that level of care, but more importantly, that has to be her choice - not ours. I've discussed that option on several occasions with her during the last few years and she was dead against that idea and I think it must be awful for people to have to go into aged care if it's something they are really adversed to. Clearly it matters greatly where you live in the UK as to the quality of life you will have because some places are fab whilst others are simply dire. Fortunately we will be going to a lovely spot in the Peak District where the worse thing is probably the weather and farm smells! We are definitely not considering this to be a permanent move, which is probably why I don't feel to despondent about the prospect. I love Australia. I've been a citizen for 7 years and wouldn't be going back otherwise. I have even wangled 3 years unpaid leave with my employer, so if we return before January 2018 then I'll have a job to come back to - you can't really ask for much more than that! Of course a lot can happen in 3 years and by then we might decide to stay in the UK, especially if my mum is still going strong and still needs our support. If there's one thing that needles me about going back though it was the huge $1700 visa fee for my wife's visa, plus an extra $570 to get it processed in time. Add on to that the cost of travelling from Cairns to Brisbane to submit the visa in the first place and we haven't got much change out of 3 grand just for the visa - and that's even before you even add on air fares and shipping stuff back. As a British Citizen by birth you wouldn't think there'd be too much drama for me to bring my wife to the UK, whilst more than half a billion people Europeans can come and go to the UK as they please - and not all of them with the best intentions. When you talk about this with almost anyone their reaction is invariably the same - they are amazed at the amount of rigmarole we all have to go through! I admire those who have made a choice and have stuck with it. I think I'm always destined to be a Ping Pong Pom, but fortunately I never feel homesick for one when I'm in the other. You make the best of the place you're in because you can't be in both places at once - not until Scotty fixes that teleport machine! I have a theory that Australia is the best place to be when you are a kid and an oldie and that the UK/Europe is the best when you're in you're in the middle of your life, so at 47 I'm probably going to the best place for me at this moment in time... we'll find out soon enough! :-) Martin. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Captain Roberto Posted October 10, 2014 Share Posted October 10, 2014 I'd like to thank everyone for their support and thoughtful comments, many of which I've taken on board. I'd probably draw the line at shoving my mum into an old folk's home just yet because she hasn't reached the stage where she needs that level of care, but more importantly, that has to be her choice - not ours. I've discussed that option on several occasions with her during the last few years and she was dead against that idea and I think it must be awful for people to have to go into aged care if it's something they are really adversed to. Clearly it matters greatly where you live in the UK as to the quality of life you will have because some places are fab whilst others are simply dire. Fortunately we will be going to a lovely spot in the Peak District where the worse thing is probably the weather and farm smells! We are definitely not considering this to be a permanent move, which is probably why I don't feel to despondent about the prospect. I love Australia. I've been a citizen for 7 years and wouldn't be going back otherwise. I have even wangled 3 years unpaid leave with my employer, so if we return before January 2018 then I'll have a job to come back to - you can't really ask for much more than that! Of course a lot can happen in 3 years and by then we might decide to stay in the UK, especially if my mum is still going strong and still needs our support. If there's one thing that needles me about going back though it was the huge $1700 visa fee for my wife's visa, plus an extra $570 to get it processed in time. Add on to that the cost of travelling from Cairns to Brisbane to submit the visa in the first place and we haven't got much change out of 3 grand just for the visa - and that's even before you even add on air fares and shipping stuff back. As a British Citizen by birth you wouldn't think there'd be too much drama for me to bring my wife to the UK, whilst more than half a billion people Europeans can come and go to the UK as they please - and not all of them with the best intentions. When you talk about this with almost anyone their reaction is invariably the same - they are amazed at the amount of rigmarole we all have to go through! I admire those who have made a choice and have stuck with it. I think I'm always destined to be a Ping Pong Pom, but fortunately I never feel homesick for one when I'm in the other. You make the best of the place you're in because you can't be in both places at once - not until Scotty fixes that teleport machine! I have a theory that Australia is the best place to be when you are a kid and an oldie and that the UK/Europe is the best when you're in you're in the middle of your life, so at 47 I'm probably going to the best place for me at this moment in time... we'll find out soon enough! :-) Martin. Europe is open borders, which is a good thing. The only reason the British don't like it is because we are terrible at learning other languages. If I could speak German I might be more into living in Berlin. Don't believe the right wing press (mail, sun etc). They are just pleasing their customers and running a commercial business selling fear to ignorant xenophobics. The UK isn't perfect (UKIP, the torys) but the UK is still a great place to be. We are blessed to live in one of the richest countries with tons of benefits and opportunities. It'll be fine. Sounds like you are doing the right thing too, which is all that matters. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Captain Roberto Posted October 10, 2014 Share Posted October 10, 2014 And if you're british, you can just go and live in Spain with no hassles. Those open borders work both ways. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Keefo Posted October 10, 2014 Share Posted October 10, 2014 Always makes me smile when people say it's good to be in the UK as you can pop across to Europe whenever. Most people go for a two week holiday per year if that. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Captain Roberto Posted October 10, 2014 Share Posted October 10, 2014 @Keefo True! But that's because we all pay a ton of tax and have to work all the time. Back in the day, before we had kids I could have done all that free and easy stuff. But the point is that it is there and it is available. No red tape. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Keefo Posted October 10, 2014 Share Posted October 10, 2014 @KeefoTrue! But that's because we all pay a ton of tax and have to work all the time. Back in the day, before we had kids I could have done all that free and easy stuff. But the point is that it is there and it is available. No red tape. Not having a go but that's what I mean it's there and people say that's what they like compared to oz but how many actually go hopping across regularly. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Captain Roberto Posted October 10, 2014 Share Posted October 10, 2014 My parents bought a camper van as soon as they retired and went to Portugal. They now own a house and spend 7 months a year there. All very easy, healthcare covered. It's just not easy for the average working joe (like me). I am sure Aus is the same. All this great stuff, but I'll spend 9 hours a day sat at a desk, and 2 hours a day commuting. #thatslife Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Keefo Posted October 10, 2014 Share Posted October 10, 2014 My parents bought a camper van as soon as they retired and went to Portugal. They now own a house and spend 7 months a year there. All very easy, healthcare covered. It's just not easy for the average working joe (like me). I am sure Aus is the same. All this great stuff, but I'll spend 9 hours a day sat at a desk, and 2 hours a day commuting. #thatslife Suppose you can arrange this for the weekend though knowing weather is going to be fine. Not like UK in summer when arrange a bbq or childrens party in the garden and it's chucking it down. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gbye grey sky Posted October 10, 2014 Share Posted October 10, 2014 My parents bought a camper van as soon as they retired and went to Portugal. They now own a house and spend 7 months a year there. All very easy, healthcare covered. It's just not easy for the average working joe (like me). I am sure Aus is the same. All this great stuff, but I'll spend 9 hours a day sat at a desk, and 2 hours a day commuting. #thatslife Don't want to risk getting in the xenophobe or UKIP camp but before the Euro and the open borders with the EU plenty of Brits retired to Spain and Portugal without any trouble and benefited with the great exchange rate on Pesetas and Escudos and the cheap cost of living over there. The reality is that it is actually harder to go in that direction now and afford to retire there unless you are minted. Britain actually looks cheaper for those heading the other way. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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