Guest Posted July 22, 2014 Share Posted July 22, 2014 Hi Snifter , I hear what your saying but having to arrange play dates is not the way I grew up , you walked out the front door and all your mates were playing in the street , same for my kids in the UK ,had to drag them in for tea and then again for bedtime There is probably never really going to be the situation of what you grew up with living in Aus. There are marked differences between the Aus and UK and I think this is one of them. Sure some areas are perhaps more like what you are used to but overall I'd say it was different. I guess its a case of being willing or wanting to start adapting to it or not. Adapting and learning to accept and appreciate that there are differences. It can make all the difference in how a person may or may not settle into life in Aus and if they can feel closer to considering it 'home'. You say you are happy in Aus, the family is happy, but you don't know you if you can ever truly call it home or if you want it to be forever. But then I don't see how any foreign country could ever be 'home' in that case as there will always be cultural differences, social differences and the like. Even if English is the language, there will always be differences. Chances are moving 100 miles away from your home town in the UK could also be like moving to another country in many ways as there are again differences in how people are and interact and so on. I know I've seen it living in different areas of England. If you really can't settle and want to return, then do that. I do think you sound pretty settled and happy in many respects but possibly have a few hurdles to overcome that might cement things and help round things out. On the other hand, they might be deal breakers and you'll never be able get past them. There is no right or wrong. We've been here the same amount of time and have different experiences and results. For us the Aussie way re kids play and all that is working for us but not without effort to get it going. And I believe it has helped us all settle into life and feel more at home. But then I guess its not really a deal breaker for us either. I don't think we really have any of those as such. Just wanted to be happy with life really. Whichever way you go, I wish you all the best Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jasepom Posted July 22, 2014 Share Posted July 22, 2014 Never felt so worried in my life after leaving here. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jasepom Posted July 22, 2014 Share Posted July 22, 2014 there's plenty o like about both countries I agree. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
byrned Posted July 22, 2014 Share Posted July 22, 2014 Do not leave it too late to go back if you know in your gut this place is not for you then its easier to go back getting the kids into school etc. I see ex pats all the time here at the park with their kids and at the beach I always feel sorry for the little ones in away because some will never know what it would be like surrounded by family ie grandparents, aunts,uncles cousins being apart of an everyday extended family feeling that love and craziness of a family a feeling of belonging. Then you have the die hards who protest too much ie Australia is the best thing since sliced bread and a lot of people once you start digging beneath the surface are unhappy as well or lonely, and for many, end up living to work due to lack of stimulation, especially if the kids are older and doing their own thing. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted July 22, 2014 Share Posted July 22, 2014 Can't really blame Australians, you are living in the Pommie Capital of Brisbane... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
wattsy1982 Posted July 22, 2014 Share Posted July 22, 2014 my wife found it difficult, I don't know why, she had a beautiful home and loads of money. .....because thats all anyone needs in life isnt it....oh dear! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chortlepuss Posted July 22, 2014 Share Posted July 22, 2014 .....because thats all anyone needs in life isnt it....oh dear! It really is a gift to understand there is so much more to life than this. I am trying to stay positive as recently been hit by a new wave of homesickness (triggered in part by insecure rental situation) but I do think when I get back to the UK I will be so much more appreciative of things I took for granted like family Christmases and going out to restaurants with a group of friends, having a natter and a pint. I earn good money here and should be grateful but nothing is worth feeling so lonely. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PaulRaynor Posted July 22, 2014 Share Posted July 22, 2014 There is an English pub you can have Sunday lunch at but you need to book :ssign5: http://www.foxandhounds.net.au/ Crikey thanks for that! I must have passed this place a hundred times on the way to Mount Tambourine and hadn't even noticed it. I must be blind! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fletchaman Posted July 22, 2014 Share Posted July 22, 2014 Crikey thanks for that! I must have passed this place a hundred times on the way to Mount Tambourine and hadn't even noticed it. I must be blind! Not a problem us plastic Kiwis are here to help, I wonder if Pub Location Consultant is on the Shortage of skills list :ssign15: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jacaranda Posted July 22, 2014 Share Posted July 22, 2014 A lot of people feel that way. But after a while it does become home believe me. If you went back to England you might struggle there as migration changes you. Your outlook changes, everything. Don't go back in other words, stay and build friends, life etc, let yourself be happy here. Yes Jasepom how about taking a positive stance on this?Your outlook could change by returning to the UK....for the better!I've read countless posts on this forum about folk who returned to the UK and saw it with new eyes!You know what they say?You don't know what you've got till its gone! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fletchaman Posted July 22, 2014 Share Posted July 22, 2014 Yes Jasepom how about taking a positive stance on this?Your outlook could change by returning to the UK....for the better!I've read countless posts on this forum about folk who returned to the UK and saw it with new eyes!You know what they say?You don't know what you've got till its gone! Why doesn't OP go back for a holiday? that's what we did to make us realise that, although we love our family and friends, Britain is not our home anymore, whether we stay in NZ move to OZ or somewhere else we just didn't get the pull to stay, we did 5 weeks holiday and was ready to come back within a couple of weeks and I never thought for once i would feel that way. We have made a conscious decision to try and get to UK on Hols as much as possible to see family and friends ( and also throw a Turkey or Cyprus trip in with it) so we have like 2 holidays in one, i seem to be able to justify the flight price by doing that :wink: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMG Posted July 23, 2014 Share Posted July 23, 2014 We have now been here over a year. We arrived with our eyes open, having both been here previously (working and visiting). We have 3 young children, both of us are working. We have integrated, kids are settled in school, have friends, have play dates (for both the kids and adults!), go camping at least 2 x month, have travelled loads in our local area, Australia is a fantastic country but my kids don't play out as much as they did at home, we do not do as much exercise and although we are better off there is "just something missing" . I miss the UK, family/friends/house in the country(but close to a good cities)/ mountains/scenery/pubs/proximity to Europe and northern hemisphere, probably do not miss the weather! Do we stay for 4 years to get citizenship (heart sinks at the thought), or does this open another can of worms, giving kids more choice later, 2 kids in 1 country, 1 in another. Do I really want to make that happen, could happen anyway without our assistance!! Or do we save like mad for 6 months, travel round Australia for 6 months and return home giving kids access to family who love them, friends who support us whatever we do within reason ,(although friends we have made here would also do that!) and a country that still offers so much even though most say its going to the dogs!. We came over here for an adventure and to experience another culture/country and visit this side of the world with the kids. We have already backpacked round Vietnam with the kids for 3 weeks. We were open to making our lives here but 1 year on and we still want to go home (only the 4 year old wants to stay for the weather!). So to cap it all both country's are beautiful in their own ways and I have found Australians to be welcoming and friendly but home (UK) is still where our hearts are, so we are planning the big trip and home next year, much to my Aussie Sister's dismay (but she lives in the remote area and will be moving on again soon). I don't expect reply's just wanted to put my feelings/thoughts down. Obviously we may change our minds and suddenly fall completely in love with Australia and I will be writing on here saying its the best thing since sliced bread! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Quoll Posted July 23, 2014 Share Posted July 23, 2014 We have now been here over a year. We arrived with our eyes open, having both been here previously (working and visiting). We have 3 young children, both of us are working. We have integrated, kids are settled in school, have friends, have play dates (for both the kids and adults!), go camping at least 2 x month, have travelled loads in our local area, Australia is a fantastic country but my kids don't play out as much as they did at home, we do not do as much exercise and although we are better off there is "just something missing" . I miss the UK, family/friends/house in the country(but close to a good cities)/ mountains/scenery/pubs/proximity to Europe and northern hemisphere, probably do not miss the weather! Do we stay for 4 years to get citizenship (heart sinks at the thought), or does this open another can of worms, giving kids more choice later, 2 kids in 1 country, 1 in another. Do I really want to make that happen, could happen anyway without our assistance!! Or do we save like mad for 6 months, travel round Australia for 6 months and return home giving kids access to family who love them, friends who support us whatever we do within reason ,(although friends we have made here would also do that!) and a country that still offers so much even though most say its going to the dogs!. We came over here for an adventure and to experience another culture/country and visit this side of the world with the kids. We have already backpacked round Vietnam with the kids for 3 weeks. We were open to making our lives here but 1 year on and we still want to go home (only the 4 year old wants to stay for the weather!). So to cap it all both country's are beautiful in their own ways and I have found Australians to be welcoming and friendly but home (UK) is still where our hearts are, so we are planning the big trip and home next year, much to my Aussie Sister's dismay (but she lives in the remote area and will be moving on again soon). I don't expect reply's just wanted to put my feelings/thoughts down. Obviously we may change our minds and suddenly fall completely in love with Australia and I will be writing on here saying its the best thing since sliced bread! If your heart sinks then you know your answer I think! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fletchaman Posted July 23, 2014 Share Posted July 23, 2014 We have now been here over a year. We arrived with our eyes open, having both been here previously (working and visiting). We have 3 young children, both of us are working. We have integrated, kids are settled in school, have friends, have play dates (for both the kids and adults!), go camping at least 2 x month, have travelled loads in our local area, Australia is a fantastic country but my kids don't play out as much as they did at home, we do not do as much exercise and although we are better off there is "just something missing" . I miss the UK, family/friends/house in the country(but close to a good cities)/ mountains/scenery/pubs/proximity to Europe and northern hemisphere, probably do not miss the weather! Do we stay for 4 years to get citizenship (heart sinks at the thought), or does this open another can of worms, giving kids more choice later, 2 kids in 1 country, 1 in another. Do I really want to make that happen, could happen anyway without our assistance!! Or do we save like mad for 6 months, travel round Australia for 6 months and return home giving kids access to family who love them, friends who support us whatever we do within reason ,(although friends we have made here would also do that!) and a country that still offers so much even though most say its going to the dogs!. We came over here for an adventure and to experience another culture/country and visit this side of the world with the kids. We have already backpacked round Vietnam with the kids for 3 weeks. We were open to making our lives here but 1 year on and we still want to go home (only the 4 year old wants to stay for the weather!). So to cap it all both country's are beautiful in their own ways and I have found Australians to be welcoming and friendly but home (UK) is still where our hearts are, so we are planning the big trip and home next year, much to my Aussie Sister's dismay (but she lives in the remote area and will be moving on again soon). I don't expect reply's just wanted to put my feelings/thoughts down. Obviously we may change our minds and suddenly fall completely in love with Australia and I will be writing on here saying its the best thing since sliced bread! I think everyone should go back for long holiday before making a decision on returning for good, although you have the eyes of a tourist slightly, it allows you to look at what you could be returning to, whats changing for good and bad, and even down to whether you actually feel at home when you are back (One thing we just didn't feel) oh and do a European holiday whilst there see if they really do miss them Thomas Cook holidays :smile: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pumpkin Posted July 23, 2014 Share Posted July 23, 2014 If your heart sinks then you know your answer I think! I agree with that. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
wattsy1982 Posted July 23, 2014 Share Posted July 23, 2014 If your heart sinks then you know your answer I think! Same here Quoll. Happy and excited to 'give it another year' and having the option that we might go home after the next year is enough for me at the moment, dont feel trapped now and can enjoy this next year. The thought of being here long-term though, be it to get citizenship, having another child here, kids growing up here, spending countless christmas's/kids birthdays here makes my heart sink. I think its only us as adults that have a problem with the weather, kids dont care. We had a massive down pour yesterday and the local park had puddles.....you would have thought my kids had found gold! Couldnt get them away, never have that problem at the beach! They then came straight home and wanted to skype nanny and grandad and tell them about jumping in the puddles! Family bond right there. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Londongal76 Posted July 23, 2014 Share Posted July 23, 2014 Now remember all the rainy days, when your kids didn't go outside and did sit in on their ipads or watching TV as I'm sure there were plenty of those. And the 48 sundays out of 52 when you didn't go to a pub for sunday lunch, as although we all go on about our amazing pubs for sunday lunch - how many of us in the UK actually go there that often? My point is - take the rose tinted specs off, and take a REAL look. There are plenty of nice pubs in Oz to go out to for lunch, and plenty of streets where the kids play out, especially in cul de sacs and gated complexes. Find the real reason you feel like you do. If you're in the wrong area, move. If you don't know your neighbour, go and say hi! However if you really don't want to be in oz, be honest with yourself as to why. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMG Posted July 23, 2014 Share Posted July 23, 2014 Hi I think most of us thinking of going back have been honest. I have friends here, I like work, we have fun, we have integrated, but my kids went out to play whatever the weather in the UK, we went away same number of times (2 x month), travelled independently in UK and rest of world with the kids. Australia for us is an adventure, one that we felt we may turn into our home but as so many have said something is missing, for many its the answer of their dreams , for many its not. I am not condemning either way, but the most memorable walks/ adventures/stories actually have been due to the UK weather systems, we as a family have always gone out in all weathers, so 48 Sundays in out of 52 has never existed in our household. Pub meals at the end of a long day is missed with family/friends not just reserved for Sundays. As pointed out earlier its also easier to move as a couple but with 3 school aged kids in tow its not fair to keep uprooting just because you don't like an area, if I did that I would imagine I would end up with very unhappy kids. They are happy here but looking forward to travelling, learning on the go and ultimately returning to family interaction , their friends and their home environment. Wherever we live we will make the most out of it and enjoy the experiences it gives but for me Australia does not quite tick all the boxes in the same way as the UK does. Ihope everyone that makes the journey enjoys their experiences as it is an expensive/ hard struggle to get here. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
wattsy1982 Posted July 23, 2014 Share Posted July 23, 2014 Hi I think most of us thinking of going back have been honest. I have friends here, I like work, we have fun, we have integrated, but my kids went out to play whatever the weather in the UK, we went away same number of times (2 x month), travelled independently in UK and rest of world with the kids. Australia for us is an adventure, one that we felt we may turn into our home but as so many have said something is missing, for many its the answer of their dreams , for many its not. I am not condemning either way, but the most memorable walks/ adventures/stories actually have been due to the UK weather systems, we as a family have always gone out in all weathers, so 48 Sundays in out of 52 has never existed in our household. Pub meals at the end of a long day is missed with family/friends not just reserved for Sundays. As pointed out earlier its also easier to move as a couple but with 3 school aged kids in tow its not fair to keep uprooting just because you don't like an area, if I did that I would imagine I would end up with very unhappy kids. They are happy here but looking forward to travelling, learning on the go and ultimately returning to family interaction , their friends and their home environment. Wherever we live we will make the most out of it and enjoy the experiences it gives but for me Australia does not quite tick all the boxes in the same way as the UK does. Ihope everyone that makes the journey enjoys their experiences as it is an expensive/ hard struggle to get here. The whole "ticking the boxes" thing is just how i feel. Aus is lovely, it really is but for us as a young family from a great life back home etc, plenty of family etc the uk is just more 'suitable' for us (maybe not better) and ticks more of the important boxes, things that actually matter,really matter not beaches, weather, surfing etc. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Perthbum Posted July 23, 2014 Share Posted July 23, 2014 No came back to Australia on my own. Wife promised to follow then changed her mind. Everyone on here knows I'm pro Australia, cause I love it here. But my wife found it difficult, I don't know why, she had a beautiful home and loads of money. Holidays back to England whenever she wanted. But did she have you? a women does not need material things if her husband provides the love she needs. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jacaranda Posted July 23, 2014 Share Posted July 23, 2014 RMG I know where you are coming from.My kids spent the first few years in Australia,then we moved to the UK,and guess what?We spent as much time outside in the UK as we did in Oz,infact I'd go as far to say we spent more time outside in the UK!!!Amazing to some hey?:laugh:I'm in Adelaide atm,have been for a few mths (looking after elderly Mum)and its been p******down quite alot!Meanwhile my OH has been ringing me often,telling me our garden/allotments been as dry as a ducks butt,and they've only just had rain there which everyone has welcomed!I realise I'm in wintertime here,but to make a point,not everyone in Oz is outside enjoying the winter weather,and kids are still stuck inside!!!I asked my aussie kids recently what they liked the most about the UK and they said...."Being able to take affordable holidays 2-3 times per year,going for long walks in the countryside,not having an air conditioner blasting away in summer,being able to cook what you want at any time of the year without sweating,free schooling for their kids,access to alot of festivals,music events,ect. Perthbum,you're right on that score!I can remember a few years ago on this forum,someone had posted about moving to Australia,and how they had built this fantastic house,but no one in the UK had visited them,so they had no one to show it off to????Oh dear!lol Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Johnny Kash Posted July 24, 2014 Share Posted July 24, 2014 We're also in Adelaide and re the weather: playing in tennis leagues here and previously back in Edinburgh I reckon about 1 in 3 matches have been cancelled here in Adelaide due to rain this winter and rain or extreme heat last summer. So really about the same as Edinburgh overall. I played as much if not more outdoor sport in Scotland as I do here, the 'outdoor lifestyle' might hold true for some but is a bit of a myth I reckon. If youre active and play sport you'll do it wherever you live, you just adapt. One good thing over here is you don't get that biting wind blowing right in off the Forth :wink: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chortlepuss Posted July 24, 2014 Share Posted July 24, 2014 Now remember all the rainy days, when your kids didn't go outside and did sit in on their ipads or watching TV as I'm sure there were plenty of those. And the 48 sundays out of 52 when you didn't go to a pub for sunday lunch, as although we all go on about our amazing pubs for sunday lunch - how many of us in the UK actually go there that often? My point is - take the rose tinted specs off, and take a REAL look. There are plenty of nice pubs in Oz to go out to for lunch, and plenty of streets where the kids play out, especially in cul de sacs and gated complexes. Find the real reason you feel like you do. If you're in the wrong area, move. If you don't know your neighbour, go and say hi! However if you really don't want to be in oz, be honest with yourself as to why. In the UK we went out with the local ramblers group every other week on a Sunday, followed by a lovely pub lunch. Other Sundays were cooking for family or friends - or being cooked for - Nice! We got great weather gear and endured all weathers - some days better than others. Of course, during the summer and those long evenings, there were opportunities to go out on our bikes, or explore the countryside. Very rarely too hot to walk. I feel a bit like a caged animal in Oz - there is the gym and it is lovely swimming in the pool outside for a lot of the year, but I do struggle with the indoors lifestyle here. When I got here I told myself I'd never be one of those who drove everywhere, even round the corner - but here I am, moving from air-conditioned house, to car, to bus, to office and then back home again. One thing I'm taking as a bonus in Oz is because I shelter from the intense heat, and go outside so much less, my skin is less exposed to the sun - In the UK I often got burned caught unaware on a chilly but sunny day. There are some great things to do and see in Oz, but the 'outdoor lifestyle' hyped is a bit of a myth. As for chatting to neighbours - when we came to Brisbane we lived next door to a guy who had parties every two weeks and mentioned every two weeks for about two years 'we must have you over some time'. We actually thought it was very funny. When we left the house, he complained to the landlord how much he would miss us. We'd never exchanged more than a few words! Back track to UK, people moved in next door, had a moving in party, invited us over to that (and we invited them back) - still friends 10 years on! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
wattsy1982 Posted July 24, 2014 Share Posted July 24, 2014 We have never been a family to let the weather stop us doing anything, be it here or at home. Even in rain we used to go on 'puddle walks' once you are wet, you are wet 2 mins or 2 hours. This said, we did stop inside a handful of days last summer here as the kids didnt want to go outside in the heat...but im only talking 4 or 5 days. I think if you are a certain type of person, be it friendly, sporty, outdoorsy, etc then you will be where ever you are..i dont feel Aus gives you that lifestyle nor the UK prevent it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jasepom Posted July 24, 2014 Share Posted July 24, 2014 The weather can be good/bad depending on what season you are in in either country. To be honest, there is a lot more rain in Melbourne than parts of the UK, but then again there is a lot more sunshine as well. You take the good with the bad. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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