sheffieldgirl1 Posted April 6, 2014 Share Posted April 6, 2014 Hi, I was wondering if anyone who has left Oz and gone back to the UK could give me advice not only on my decision but on an action plan.... I moved to Australia 3 years ago on a working holiday visa and got sponsored by a company to stay. I met the love of my life and soon to be husband here (also from the UK but has lived here over 16 years). I will have my PR within the next 12 months. I have loved my experience and the lifestyle here, however in the past 6 months I have this constant feeling that I have achieve what I came here to do- met my future husband. He is the only person I have here as all my family as in the UK and always will be. But then I don't want to make a stupid wrong decision. As they say im 'stuck between a rock & a hard place'....... any advice would be greatly appreciated. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Quoll Posted April 6, 2014 Share Posted April 6, 2014 If you can hang in until you get citizenship then the world is your oyster - absolutely nothing wrong with deciding that somewhere doesn't float your boat (well, not forever, anyway!). You are lucky in that your OH has UK citizenship - that's increasingly a trapping point for many given the new UK spouse visa requirements. So, armed with a couple of passports each you can come and go as you choose! Nothing is forever! BTW you can only make the best decision you can, based on the information you have in hand today - if it works, then fine. If it doesn't work then make another decision! Neither Aus nor UK are going anywhere! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NickyNook Posted April 6, 2014 Share Posted April 6, 2014 Does your fiancé have a say in what you do? What does he think? Does he want to live in the UK? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted April 6, 2014 Share Posted April 6, 2014 Brisbane v Sheffield is a no contest. Unless Henderson's relish is top priority! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sheffieldgirl1 Posted April 6, 2014 Author Share Posted April 6, 2014 For all you interested parties my partners has been between Oz and UK ever since he arrived, he has no family here either & he is full aware of how I feel and he is the reason I started thinking about this decision. Furthermore I got my sponsorship & PR on my own accord through my education and work experience. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sheffieldgirl1 Posted April 6, 2014 Author Share Posted April 6, 2014 That is not what I came here to do but it is what I have achieve........so after meeting my partner feel like this is the other reason I got on that plane 3 years ago- to met someone who has changed me and my life- which trust me was a very hard thing to do. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gbye grey sky Posted April 6, 2014 Share Posted April 6, 2014 For all you interested parties my partners has been between Oz and UK ever since he arrived, he has no family here either & he is full aware of how I feel and he is the reason I started thinking about this decision. Furthermore I got my sponsorship & PR on my own accord through my education and work experience. I left the UK following an abusive relationship & trust me I never intended on 'meeting a husband' as you suggest. Has your husband got Oz citizenship? If not it would be a good idea for him to apply and get that before leaving. If you then decided in the future to return to Oz you could apply for a partner visa (though take into account that it takes the best part of a year to get and is quite costly). Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
louisella Posted April 6, 2014 Share Posted April 6, 2014 Hi Sheffieldgirl1, welcome to the forum. I think like someone else has said, if you wait to get your PR, then that will leave your options open for the future. There are plenty of people on here who have returned back to the UK as Oz wasn't for them so don't feel alone in feeling the way you do. Do you have any option to come back for an extended holiday first before making any decision? I know holidays aren't exactly the same but at least it may give you a better perspective about whether you do want to move back. I think the other comments are probably due to how your original post came across but people are on here to help. Hope you manage to come to a decision that feels right for you both x Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sheffieldgirl1 Posted April 6, 2014 Author Share Posted April 6, 2014 Thank you for your advice Gbye Grey Sky and yes my partner is a citizen so if we ever wanted to come back it would not be as big an issue. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pingpongpom Posted April 6, 2014 Share Posted April 6, 2014 hi i had to respond to your thread in this is going to be a long one we moved from Barnsley to Adelaide in 2009 with high hopes went on 2 year sponsor visa husband a nurse ended up coming back after 9 months. Completely homesick but did not realise that at the time missed family and looked back at everything with rose tinted glasses, i also think christmas did not help as we moved out in september and my husband is a massive christmas fan and oz just does not do christmas. Also family back in the uk had health problems cancer in my family and husband family had heart problems while we were in oz this did not help. In the end with a lot on nagging from my husband we came back. Started a new life here back in barnsley with family and freinds . We bought a house as soon as we came back rushed in to everything we now have a 2 year old girl. Yes we have a nice house and jobs and finally got our daughter after five years of trying and treatments so you would think we would be happy wrong all we can think about is going back to adelaide . The freinds we had b4 we left have moved on with their lifes as we now work in different companys so never see them. Family is great but so is skype and having them for holidays instead of going shopping to barnsley market or going down the moor ( ok they have re done the castle market but prefer adelaide central market on a friday night ) always stuck inside with little girl as weather is always raining and grey. What i am trying to say is that barnsley / sheffield is not as nice as you remember it when you get back you will enjoy being home again but then the reasons you left in first place will come back ten fold. I look around and really don't want to send my daughter to school and grow up here its like the chavs have taken over social decline is taking over and benefit culture is worse than ever No respect or politeness nearly got my head taken off over a family car parking space at asda the other day swearing and mouthing off in front of my daughter. What i am trying to say is i feel that you can never go back to how things was not matter how you try, but we are now stuck in the middle because are we looking back at adelaide with rose tinted glasses ? If we move and take our daughter away from grand parents will we make a new life and enjoy it or wish we had stayed in the uk and feel guilty for taking her away from family ? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
wakeboard1980 Posted April 6, 2014 Share Posted April 6, 2014 TBH I too would have asked what your finances feelings about moving back woud be. Where is he from? Your area or somewhere else? It's always difficult meeting someone whilst you are 'travelling' then trying to fit back into an 'old life'. Think long and hard and explore every idea, thought and feeling before you make a decision either way. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
noworriesmate Posted April 6, 2014 Share Posted April 6, 2014 Probably best if we get back to the main question! I have to say that I think it is a case of a simple misunderstanding and people just need to calm down. It would be easy to interpret the comments by the OP as some have done. But the OP is a new member and needs to be cut some slack also. I'll delete a few posts and hopefully we can get back on track Play nice NWM Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted April 6, 2014 Share Posted April 6, 2014 After three years and with no absolute reason to return I would stay for citizenship - I don't think the fact your OH is a citizen means you could automatically return (I could be wrong!) I think you would need a partner visa and that costs money/time/stress. I don't want to be pessimistic but it also gives you the opportunity to return even if the relationship breaks down. After that, since your OH is happy, no harm in giving the UK a go - just like there are no rules that say people that move to Australia have to stay forever, the same is true of the UK. A different place may suit a different stage of your life. I returned to the UK after 5 years in Australia and so far that has been absolutely the right thing for us but who knows come retirement I might feel differently Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Perthbum Posted April 6, 2014 Share Posted April 6, 2014 Brisbane v Sheffield is a no contest. Unless Henderson's relish is top priority! Agree...sheffield is a brilliant city. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
wattsy1982 Posted April 7, 2014 Share Posted April 7, 2014 If we move and take our daughter away from grand parents will we make a new life and enjoy it or wish we had stayed in the uk and feel guilty for taking her away from family ? IMO i would say this is an easy decision, family for me wins hands down everytime...its taken coming here to realise that but I have realised it none the less. When the unfortunate time comes that your parents are no longer here, if you have returned to Aus will you wish that you and your daughter had spent more time with them OR if you stay in UK will you wish you had spent more time in the sun, on the beach??? At the end of the day when THE time comes no one wishes they could spend one more day on the beach but they do wish they could spend one more day/hour/minute with a family member. Dan Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted April 7, 2014 Share Posted April 7, 2014 Agree...sheffield is a brilliant city. It's a lot better than it was but in no way competes with Brisbane. I've lived in both, I doubt you have lived in either or even visited Brisbane. Fargate vs South bank hmmm... tough one there Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ramot Posted April 7, 2014 Share Posted April 7, 2014 IMO i would say this is an easy decision, family for me wins hands down everytime...its taken coming here to realise that but I have realised it none the less. When the unfortunate time comes that your parents are no longer here, if you have returned to Aus will you wish that you and your daughter had spent more time with them OR if you stay in UK will you wish you had spent more time in the sun, on the beach??? At the end of the day when THE time comes no one wishes they could spend one more day on the beach but they do wish they could spend one more day/hour/minute with a family member. Dan I understand your view, especially if you have a close possibly extended family, but every one's circumstances are different, and as always no one size fits all. We all make decisions based on our own circumstances. probably because I had a nomadic childhood, father in army, both parents only children, only 1 grandparent alive, I have no concept of a large extended family. Met and married someone in the RAF, then became expats. We have 3 children and 2 grandchildren. We retired to OZ with no immediate family here, because it's what we wanted to do, and although might seem a strange thing to do to a lot of posters, if you have lived an ex pat life it's not unusual. Your children tend to be very independent and the majority of our friends children have settled in different countries to their parents. So I'm only saying that obviously family is important not all of us feel the need to be together. We would prefer our children to do what they want to do, be it near us or where they want to be. I am coming to this post as an older poster almost 70, and really wouldn't want ever to feel that any of our 3 felt in any way obliged to live near us unless that is what they want to do, we just want them to do what they want to do again as said before, all circumstances are different, we can afford and are fit enough to go back to UK every year for a couple of months to see our 2 small grandchildren, and our other 2 have followed us to OZ. we don't know what the future will be, if 2 of ours hadn't moved here after us, then we might have decided one day to move back to be closer to family, but that would be our choice, we wouldn't expect ours to move to us. i am in no way being critical of any one's decision, just wanted to put an alternative point of view as an older parent. be happy with whatever decision you make, because it's your personal decision and no else's business really. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
wattsy1982 Posted April 8, 2014 Share Posted April 8, 2014 unless that is what they want to do, we just want them to do what they want to do My parents are both well, healthy and by no means are on at us to go back (obviously they would love to be near grandkids) so this is our choice and us choosing what we would rather be a major part of our kids lives, family or weather. For us (not commenting for anyone else) it is literally between those 2 factors, family v weather. Lifestyles are different yes, but IMHO I wouldn't say Aus offers a 'better' lifestyle, just different. We love the cold bonfire nights, xmas carols, harvest festival, easter egg hunt, autumnal walks, balmy summer evenings, cold/bright frosty mornings.....4 different lifestyles in one place/year/life. I was always a sun worshiper, and before we moved here my mum would say "wont you miss the seasons" to which i replied "no, i wouldnt care if I never saw a frost again" now...I will admit, (maybe not to her face) that I was wrong. I feel kids do/can/will experience more variety in the UK and time is so precious that family must simply be a part of that for us and our kids. All being well, both my wife and I will out live our parents by a good 40 years and our kids after us, so theres plenty of time then to do it and have the best of both worlds. Like I say, all my views..not saying they are right for everyone Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rammygirl Posted April 8, 2014 Share Posted April 8, 2014 Every one and every place is different. Family is important to me but I lost mum, dad and brother years back so my only sister and I are close. But we were never integrated into each other's lives, we lived independently and met up once a month or so. I hope my kids find their place in the world but don't expect it to be in the same town or even country as us. Regarding seasons it does depend where you live, in the Adelaide hills autumn is here and the trees are turning lovely colours just like the UK they get cold frosty mornings in winter too, but still less than an hour to the beach. i speak as someone who returned to the UK and is now back in Oz. This time we will stay to get citizenship, but maybe not forever, we are in our 50s and looking forward to retirement and new adventures together, not relying on family to provide support or friendship, but still loving them all. I would say to the OP don't burn your boats, if you can get citizenship do - you don't know how easy even a partner visa will be down the line. Look what has happened in the UK with the rules now making it harder for UK citizens to bring their Aussie partners to the UK to live. You need to look forward as a couple even if you go back to the UK, don't dwell on the past make plans for the future. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ramot Posted April 8, 2014 Share Posted April 8, 2014 Like others I feel it would make sense for the OP to stay and get citizenship. It is then again as mentioned important that they make their decision as a couple, and if they both have citizenship then they can always return if they ever change their minds. I suppose that my husband and I don't fit the stereotype parents, as we have moved around so much, and are treating retirement as Rammygirl plans to do as an adventure and a time of our lives to please ourselves, as our children are grown up and have their own lives. As long as we can we intend to love life and live it to the full, and will make other decisions when and if we have to. I think perhaps parents life styles might reflect the decisions children make as to whether or not they move back to be near them, and obviously healthor the loss of one parent Is a major factor, and I admire everyone who helps to look after their parents then, I hope that's a long way away please for us. our children reckon we have more fun than they do!!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bunbury61 Posted April 9, 2014 Share Posted April 9, 2014 My parents are both well, healthy and by no means are on at us to go back (obviously they would love to be near grandkids) so this is our choice and us choosing what we would rather be a major part of our kids lives, family or weather. For us (not commenting for anyone else) it is literally between those 2 factors, family v weather. Lifestyles are different yes, but IMHO I wouldn't say Aus offers a 'better' lifestyle, just different. We love the cold bonfire nights, xmas carols, harvest festival, easter egg hunt, autumnal walks, balmy summer evenings, cold/bright frosty mornings.....4 different lifestyles in one place/year/life. I was always a sun worshiper, and before we moved here my mum would say "wont you miss the seasons" to which i replied "no, i wouldnt care if I never saw a frost again" now...I will admit, (maybe not to her face) that I was wrong. I feel kids do/can/will experience more variety in the UK and time is so precious that family must simply be a part of that for us and our kids. All being well, both my wife and I will out live our parents by a good 40 years and our kids after us, so theres plenty of time then to do it and have the best of both worlds. Like I say, all my views..not saying they are right for everyone The only worry for me wattsy was when the girls left school , what was the job situation like ? ....my eldest left school in the middle of the recession , but has never been out of work , and has just landed a good job ....the youngest is still at a good school . The plus side has definitely been the travel options here in the uk ...and Europe ...and the U.S .....as a family its almost over now ....a new chapter will begin for me and my wife , once the youngest has moved on .....SOME BLOODY GREAT MEMORIES THOUGH ....JOB DONE ! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Perthbum Posted April 9, 2014 Share Posted April 9, 2014 It's a lot better than it was but in no way competes with Brisbane. I've lived in both, I doubt you have lived in either or even visited Brisbane. Fargate vs South bank hmmm... tough one there In what way? how does brisbane compare to London, Paris Barcelona Madrid Berlin..........very poorly, you cannot compare brisbane with these places, comparing it with Sheffield is about right, both have about as much going as the other. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Andy Posted April 9, 2014 Share Posted April 9, 2014 In what way? how does brisbane compare to London, Paris Barcelona Madrid Berlin..........very poorly, you cannot compare brisbane with these places, comparing it with Sheffield is about right, both have about as much going as the other. But you said Sheffield was a brilliant city? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest51810 Posted April 9, 2014 Share Posted April 9, 2014 But you said Sheffield was a brilliant city? He forgets what he says half the time Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MovingtoTasmania Posted April 9, 2014 Share Posted April 9, 2014 But you said Sheffield was a brilliant city? I am not sure Sheffield and brilliant are words that can be used in the same sentence although the university is excellent. Of course, there is always The Full Monty..... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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