GaryandGillDublin Posted March 22, 2014 Share Posted March 22, 2014 This is my first post in quite a while. I was constantly on PIO throughout the process of getting our PR visa a few years ago and then when we got here, setting ourselves up in Perth kind of took over :wink: We we have been in Perth since September 2011 and a lot has happened since then. We have had our first child, Liam, who is 6 months old and have built a house and have been in it 6 months - we moved in a week before Liam arrived :biggrin: I am currently on maternity leave from my job which I really like. My husband has been very lucky to have been in continuous employment with the same company and he is happy enough. The problem is we are not 100% happy here. In truth I don't think we ever have been. Don't get me wrong, Perth is great for its weather and the beaches etc but there's just something missing for us. At times it feels like we are in a retirement village or something. We have made some great friends here, the majority of whom are Irish but we rarely see anybody. Everyone is a big distance from each other and even if you are in the same suburb you have to drive. There are no local shops to walk to where we live or a local pub to pop into for a pint or a bite to eat. I wouldn't call the feeling we have 'homesick'. It's more an unsettled feeling - missing the familiarity of things at home. We are not 'living the dream' here. My husband works 10 hours a day 6 days a week and that's literally just to keep the bills paid. We don't go out to eat or on holidays and we rarely get to the beach. The way things are done here in WA is another big reason we don't like it. Building the house was the most stressful thing, even more stressful than getting the visa. You feel like you're banging your head off a brick wall. The Australians are renowned for being laid back but to us it sometimes comes across as down right carelessness. There is no pride in anything. The amount of issues we have had with the house and the attitude is 'that's just the way we do it here'! Well I'm sorry, if we're paying a huge amount of money for a house, we expect it to be built to a high standard. The problem is we cannot apply for citizenship until September 2015 and at the moment, to me especially, that feels like such a long time. Then from reading on the immi website, it could take months to actually get called for the test and ceremony etc. The way I feel at the moment I would leave here tomorrow but the hubby won't leave without citizenship. I agree with him but obviously just wish we could apply sooner or there was some other way of securing long term residency. It cost us a huge amount of money to relocate here and we obviously don't want to cut ties with Australia in case our feelings change in the future and we want to come back. Maybe now just isn't the right time/stage in our lives to live here. We didn't leave Ireland because of the recession, we left because we had a dream of living in Australia but we have discovered that we were living the dream in Ireland, we just didn't realise it :sad: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dxboz Posted March 22, 2014 Share Posted March 22, 2014 If I felt the way you do I would leave now. You have five years to come back if you change your mind. Just realised you said your husband wouldn't move back just now so guess you don't have a choice unless he changes his mind. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GaryandGillDublin Posted March 22, 2014 Author Share Posted March 22, 2014 Yeah although husband feels the same he is the more sensible one so wants to make sure we have the citizenship. It's just a horrible feeling because I know how lucky we are to be here but it's a feeling that just won't shift of late :cry: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
xlornax Posted March 22, 2014 Share Posted March 22, 2014 By the time you arranged everything to come back..saving..renting/selling..it would b near 2015 anyway..would your husband b up for starting to make plans for returning in 2015 and you may feel better if you are working towards that..you have been here this long n seems like acheived alot so far..its worth staying a bit longer and getting citizenship..it'll go in quicker than u think Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rupert Posted March 23, 2014 Share Posted March 23, 2014 I think you should stick it out until citizenship and see if you can make it work for you. Your boy is already a citizen and it is good for family members to have the same citizenships, in the future he might move out here and you might want to return here with him and possibly grandchildren. I do not say this lightly, I was once stuck overseas very unhappy for 18 months and for reasons I won't bore you with knew I had no practical choice but to stick it out. It soon passes and in fact once you do have an end date it doesn't seem so bad. And you don't seem half as unhappy as I was anyway. So my advice, chin up, make your pact with your husband that you will stick it out until citizenship so long as he lets you choose to all go home if you wish at that point. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Aunt Agatha Posted March 23, 2014 Share Posted March 23, 2014 I agree re staying and getting your citizenship. You can start researching/planning for your move home if you want to have something to take your mind off the wait. You might find you get to 2015 and decide to stay but if you've saved etc. you'll have a true choice. The costs of moving back to England stunned me! We feel similarly to you in that we are happy here (Brisbane) and have great friends and jobs we like but a combination of our parents ailing health and the sense that Australia isn't truly "home" means we are moving back. We have citizenship so have options for the future - it's a good safety net. You shouldn't feel bad though for wanting something else, it's all part of the adventure I reckon. Follow your heart (in Sept 2015!) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Petals Posted March 23, 2014 Share Posted March 23, 2014 I think that people who move over think that they want the lifestyle here but they don't they want the lifestyle they have in warmer weather. For a start I answer so many threads from people looking for, new house in good area with great schools. These areas can and are often like retirement villages and you have to drive to everything. The grotty if you like suburbs with not so nice houses have all the things we are used to at our fingertips and these are the things that actually make for a happy life. Where live I am fortunate I have it all. The land the big house and everything at my finger tips but we have been here 27 years in this house and things have come to us in a way. It was always a village so it was always walkable and that is why we bought where we did. New housing areas tend to have a majority of people who are struggling to bring up a family and pay the mortgage, keep the four wheel drive and all the appearances and that is what the life is like wherever we live in the world. If we want a life which is for us we need to write the lists and see what is on them. Friends down the road, doctors walking distance, schools around the corner, shops not far away, walk for the paper and bread, all that stuff is so important but overlooked when people come to Aus for the dream. I would wait and get citizenship as rose coloured glasses come out when we are unhappy, having a six month old and being at home with no family and friends close by is difficult wherever you are, you need to get out and about we mums all know what the feeling is like. Good luck Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Freckleface Posted March 23, 2014 Share Posted March 23, 2014 If there is any chance you might want to return to Aust in the future I would stick it out until you have citizenship. My SIL was miserable during her first stint in Aust but my brother wouldn't go back to the UK until she gained citizenship. Thankfully she stuck it out because although they did move back to the UK they weren't there very long before she wanted to come back to Aust. Personally I think if she had stopped looking for similarities between her old and new life and had instead embraced the difference they could have saved themselves a LOT of money and heartache. Also, if they had taken more care in selecting where to live it might have been different. I can't help wondering if you would feel the same if you were living in an area with a local pub/cafe scene. It might be cheaper to try that option before you move back but I guess only you know if you are open minded enough at this point to make that worthwhile. Good luck whatever you do. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dragonflygecko Posted March 23, 2014 Share Posted March 23, 2014 Wow, you have really set yourself up in Perth building a house and starting a family. I think maybe you should book a holiday back to Ireland and see how it feels to be home for say like a month see if all the things you think you miss and really exist or is it just your imagination. Had either of you ever been to Australia before you emigrated? I think your husband is right to wait for the citizenship although being permanent residents you could still go back as long as you step back onto OZ soil every once in 5 years. (Correct me if I am wrong?) To be honest after living in Australia for two years I wanted to go home to Ireland and I was 6 months home when I had enough, my visa had expired for Australia so I booked a one way flight to New Zealand lived there for 12 months and wanted to get back to Ireland or the UK. Now living in London almost 12 months and we are applying for skilled migration to return to Australia where we feel most at home. I think some of us are just born to want and need more or change maybe? I think we will always be ping ponging around the world! :arghh: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rupert Posted March 23, 2014 Share Posted March 23, 2014 being permanent residents you could still go back as long as you step back onto OZ soil every once in 5 years. (Correct me if I am wrong?) :arghh: Definitely very wrong unfortunately. That is why so many of us are suggesting they get citizenship, only that keeps options open indefinitely. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted March 23, 2014 Share Posted March 23, 2014 In order to keep your P.R. you have live in Australia for two out of every five years otherwise you lose it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jasepom Posted March 23, 2014 Share Posted March 23, 2014 Do not leave Australia without citizenship. Also consider extended leave or rent your house out and try 6 months in Ireland. It's only then you can decide for sure. And you built a house ? Wow ! Do you want I to give up all that hard work ? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
flag of convenience Posted March 23, 2014 Share Posted March 23, 2014 Yeah although husband feels the same he is the more sensible one so wants to make sure we have the citizenship. It's just a horrible feeling because I know how lucky we are to be here but it's a feeling that just won't shift of late :cry: I have Irish neighbours in the same/similar boat. They have quite a story but not interested in going on line. Do wait and get citizenship though the time will fly. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chortlepuss Posted March 23, 2014 Share Posted March 23, 2014 Agree. Wait for citizenship. You're so close, and who knows what you might want in future? I say this as someone very very keen to return to the UK! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jasepom Posted March 24, 2014 Share Posted March 24, 2014 I was very much in the sane position. Sold by house gave up a well paid job and went back to England. Within 3 months I wanted to be back in Australia. Not saying the sane thing will happen to u but be warned. Left so many good friends behind too here. I really missed everyone who was so kind to me. Have nothing but fantastic memories of Australia. I think it's just a great place to live. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Quoll Posted March 24, 2014 Share Posted March 24, 2014 If you can hang on for citizenship then definitely do so. If you get a better offer elsewhere then move on. Sometimes you don't know what you've got 'til it's gone! At least you'll have a date to look forward to - it's not even that far away really! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Barryinoz Posted March 24, 2014 Share Posted March 24, 2014 Me and the misses were In a similar boat. She couldn't settle here and missed everyone and everything from back home (Dublin) i just couldn't see what she missed I mean we had everything here that we never had at home apart from our family and friends. she had a full time job as a receptionist earing good money but she just couldn't connect with the ozzys the way us Irish people connect anyway long story short she went home 6 weeks ago and after all the hype of seeing everyone in the first week wore off she soon relised she made a huge mistake and she actually feels like Ireland has nothing to offer and I agree. She comes back to victoria next Monday. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FOL Posted March 25, 2014 Share Posted March 25, 2014 On the other hand are the stories of people who return and are happy. Not sure about you guys, but even 6 weeks can be a dreadful long time, when you are done with it. It's so easy to say "just hang in there for another year". But a year is a Loooong time. Life events are likely to happen in that year. Family or friends get kids, people get sick (or die). Not saying you shouldn't wait for citizenship. That's entirely up to you. I just think people don't value time enough. Don't forget that even the richest people in the world can't buy time. So enjoy it every second. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
wattsy1982 Posted March 25, 2014 Share Posted March 25, 2014 GaryandGillDublin: This is a tough one.. Like a lot of people say "stay for the citizenship, it will be easier to return" ideally yes...but ask yourself what is harder/you'd rather go through. Is it harder to try and return as residents than it is to "stick it out" in the mean time to get citizenship? A year isnt a long time if you are happy, infact a year isnt long enough sometimes BUT if you are unhappy, a week can feel like a lifetime. A friend of ours from here (Australia) was unsure whether to go home (UK) or not but was worried about wanting to come back once the novelty had worn off so she did a video diary once a week saying excatly how she felt, down to silly little things. Since doing this she has returned to the Uk and yes, she misses oz and thinks bout coming back sometimes, but whenever she does, she watches the video diary and she can clearly see in her eyes and voice etc how unhappy and homesick she was and all those feelings come back to her and it 'cures' her desire to want to return.....I personally think its a great idea as once we get 'home' (wherever that may be) we forget how we felt, why we were unhappy etc and then jump into a big decision again...only for it to be the same. We have been here only 8 months and already considering going home to UK at some point not in the near future. As nice as it is here, and no one can deny that Australia is one of, if not THE nicest country in the world if its not home, its not home...simple! We feel at the moment like we are in witness protection and nothing seems real, it will pass im sure but I get what you mean and how you feel, life just doesnt feel real here, I keep expecting to wake up or something. Whatever you decide it will be what you want to do at that point in time, as was coming here. Good Luck Dan Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chortlepuss Posted March 25, 2014 Share Posted March 25, 2014 Keeping a diary is a great idea for anyone fearing a touch of the rose tints! Just counting the number of times I 'fell asleep in front of the telly' will set me straight about missing those walm balmy nights in QLD. I have kept a diary of every day I've been in Oz and I'll be sure to refer to it if I get pangs to return to Oz (once I'm finally home). Mind you there are also the 'strolled down to waters edge and saw dolphins' entries! Don't keep a diary in the UK - life was always a bit too full and busy to find time to complete one. Perhaps I should for all the dolphins I'm gonna spot when I get up to Western Scotland on holidays Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chortlepuss Posted March 25, 2014 Share Posted March 25, 2014 GaryandGillDublin We feel at the moment like we are in witness protection and nothing seems real, it will pass im sure but I get what you mean and how you feel, life just doesnt feel real here, I keep expecting to wake up Dan this is a great observation. 7 years on I feel like I'm on a boring family holiday and it's a bit weird it's not over. I think it's because hubby and I spend too much time with each other and don't know anyone in depth - so almost every weekend I'm coming to terms with the fact that the phones never going to ring and no one is going to pop by (this happened frequently in UK). It's also odd to see anyone we know down the shops, cinema, restaurant etc, and apart from the odd polite conversation, not to know our neighbours. I've actually given up inviting people round as it's rarely reciprocated and people are so busy here they rarely have time to socialise anyway. It's because of sites like this that I stay sane. I know I can make friends as I do so in the UK, but just can't seem to settle properly. I'm so glad we've got a longer term plan to return - mind you hubby loves it here and would stay here forever - he's clearly not as needy as me! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
feejeff Posted March 25, 2014 Share Posted March 25, 2014 Hi, can relate to what you are going through! My fiance wants to head back to the UK he hates it here whereas I want to stay. Very hard when you both dont want to head back. A previous suggestion is a good one go back for a holiday and see how you feel. Would it be easy to get jobs back in Ireland? Could you rent out your property in Oz? We are in Perth too, happy to meet up? Cheers, Fiona Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
warren&liz Posted March 25, 2014 Share Posted March 25, 2014 Hi Gill I too am unhappy in Perth. Hubby wants to stay for citizenship. Will be eligible April 2015. I don't want to stay as I don't think I will ever come back. I have been to Ireland for holiday. Am now even more unhappy living here. I miss everyone so much. The comment about witness protection in one post hit a nerve with me also. If you are unhappy no amount of sunshine will fix that. In fact sitting in the sunshine with tears rolling down your face is even sadder than in the rain. Take care Liz x Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
wattsy1982 Posted March 25, 2014 Share Posted March 25, 2014 this is a great observation. 7 years on I feel like I'm on a boring family holiday and it's a bit weird it's not over. I think it's because hubby and I spend too much time with each other and don't know anyone in depth - so almost every weekend I'm coming to terms with the fact that the phones never going to ring and no one is going to pop by (this happened frequently in UK). It's also odd to see anyone we know down the shops, cinema, restaurant etc, and apart from the odd polite conversation, not to know our neighbours. I've actually given up inviting people round as it's rarely reciprocated and people are so busy here they rarely have time to socialise anyway. It's because of sites like this that I stay sane. I know I can make friends as I do so in the UK, but just can't seem to settle properly. I'm so glad we've got a longer term plan to return - mind you hubby loves it here and would stay here forever - he's clearly not as needy as me! Tough one hey. At the end of the day no matter how much your hubby loves it im sure he would move for you...? We both made a pact before we came that if after a fair time (2 years) one of us couldnt settle we would come home as we were both happy in the UK and the one who liked oz would settle back in UK easier than the one who didnt lie oz could settle in oz. We didnt move because we hated uk and if we move back it wont be because we dont like australia. You appreciate waht you had more when you dont have it and it sometimes takes stepping back to understand....and whatever happens in the process is an experience and a learning curve. Dan Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tom28 Posted March 25, 2014 Share Posted March 25, 2014 Hi Gill I too am unhappy in Perth. Hubby wants to stay for citizenship. Will be eligible April 2015. I don't want to stay as I don't think I will ever come back. I have been to Ireland for holiday. Am now even more unhappy living here. I miss everyone so much. The comment about witness protection in one post hit a nerve with me also. If you are unhappy no amount of sunshine will fix that. In fact sitting in the sunshine with tears rolling down your face is even sadder than in the rain. Take care Liz x Ah, that last bit is so true. Looking out at the beautiful view. By yourself. How many times can you do that before the view becomes irrelevant Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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