weighing it up- any regrets from those who've returned?

[blobby1000]

Very wise words. When you move to a new country, you immediately see your old life through rose-coloured glasses and forget all the stuff that made you so keen to leave! As I said on another thread - if you think you want to go back, sit down and make an effort to remember why you left.

 

I say this as someone who's contemplating moving back to the UK, at least for a few years. There are good reasons for doing so but I am anxious that some of the reasons I left will still be there!

 

 

This is extremely true and exactly what we did (not helped by a gigantic party the night before we left the UK)...and what's more, on returning to the UK we often look back on our life in Australia was rose tinted glasses as well!

 

Although I have often criticised people on here for going on about the need for endless positive thinking when in Australia, actually, in our position now we have three choices: We either look at the negatives in the UK and the positives in Australia and have regrets, or we look at the positives in the UK and the negatives in Australia and look back at the past in a fairly bitter and twisted way.....or we look at the negatives and the positives of both and remember that all we have ever done is tried to make the right decisions at the time....

[blobby1000]

It's a bit like being in an unhappy relationship, isn't it? All your friends think you're so lucky to have landed such a great guy - he's handsome, funny, easy-going - but there's just no spark. You stay with him far longer than you should've, because you know your friends would love to be in your shoes, so surely you'd be mad to end it. Then you hook up again with an old flame who's more cuddly than he should be, and a bit of a stick-in-the-mud - but somehow you get along so much better.

 

Everyone's different. After an unhappy year in country Victoria, I fell in love with Sydney the moment I saw the harbour. I've never been that close to family so I didn't feel that pull. I think that's the crux of it. You can name all kinds of problems and things you don't like, but the reality is there will be just as many issues at home, too - they just won't matter, because you'll have your family around you.

 

If you're the kind of person who needs to be close to family, then you're never going to be happy in Oz. The ideal would be to stay until you can get citizenship - then you'll have the freedom to come back one day, which your children especially will appreciate.

 

Great advice.

 

I remember a rather odd pom who lived in the same town as us in Victoria (Torquay) and I asked him if he would ever return to the Uk and his answer was:

 

"No, all my mates back home are really envious of me being here!" (as if thats a reason to stay....but its precisely what you were saying)

 

Where were you in Conutry Victoria incidently?

[blobby1000]

I presume you think Oz better for kids long term? My hubby was of the same opinion, partly what drove us coming here. But I keep going over and over it and the only way I can see they've benefitted so far is in the time they've been able to spend on the beach and in swimming pools. On the flip side they've been away from grandparents, uncles, aunts and cousins, moved from a fantastic small village school to being in a huge class in a school of 750 children, education has been very narrow and their maths and reading hasn't progressed as I would like, they don't have nearly as many opportunities to go to museums, galleries, theatre, concerts etc as back home and their manners have gone severely downhill thanks to some of the children they are mixing with (they are also getting exposed to far too much American 'culture' imo). They miss the changing seasons- playing in snow, collecting conkers, long summer evenings playing outside etc. Plus they are missing out on the richness and diversity of Europe, its culture, architecture, language, history, heritage. Don't think I appreciated all that when we were living in the Uk but now we are so far away I realise how lucky we are to have all that on our doorstep. I guess we were lucky in terms of where we lived in the UK and maybe we've just picked the wrong suburb here, but I honestly do feel they are likely to have a far greater breadth of education and opportunity in Europe.

 

Great post and nice to be reminded of why we left Australia (which we sometimes forget in amongst the rain and mounting debts)

 

I suggest you get yourselves back home!

[bunbury61]

This is extremely true and exactly what we did (not helped by a gigantic party the night before we left the UK)...and what's more, on returning to the UK we often look back on our life in Australia was rose tinted glasses as well!

 

Although I have often criticised people on here for going on about the need for endless positive thinking when in Australia, actually, in our position now we have three choices: We either look at the negatives in the UK and the positives in Australia and have regrets, or we look at the positives in the UK and the negatives in Australia and look back at the past in a fairly bitter and twisted way.....or we look at the negatives and the positives of both and remember that all we have ever done is tried to make the right decisions at the time....

 

Spot on blobby ...great post from someone like yourself , who has been and done it

[Wellers and Whitehead]

No regrets, tried it, after visiting/WHV about 6/7 times, living and working in oz is not the same as a year WHV..there is no end date. UK ultimately has more pros for me.

[rrwelsh79]

We moved back to UK 15 months ago and it was the worst thing I have ever done! What a depressing place the UK is - the weather is just AWFUL! So so depressing - day after day of rain and wind - life has gone from a healthy outdoors life to one where you are inside most of the year! Ever day is a chore - I think your nuts to want to come back here! We moved back as one of our parents was not in the best of health but I now feel like we have sacrificed our own happiness because of it and the sick parent is still plodding on and will probably live till they are 100! Please please think carefully. I disagree with going back to UK for a holiday to see what you think first before making your mind up - it's very different a 2/3 week holiday to actually living here day in day out!

[Gbye grey sky]

We moved back to UK 15 months ago and it was the worst thing I have ever done! What a depressing place the UK is - the weather is just AWFUL! So so depressing - day after day of rain and wind - life has gone from a healthy outdoors life to one where you are inside most of the year! Ever day is a chore - I think your nuts to want to come back here! We moved back as one of our parents was not in the best of health but I now feel like we have sacrificed our own happiness because of it and the sick parent is still plodding on and will probably live till they are 100! Please please think carefully. I disagree with going back to UK for a holiday to see what you think first before making your mind up - it's very different a 2/3 week holiday to actually living here day in day out!

 

Is this your first post 6 years after joining the forum?

 

Look, I am not a fan of UK winter and like heat really, but this is over egging it. There have been some pleasant days between the wet and windy weather of the past few weeks and we have got out on our bikes most weekends. Prefer this to the ice and snow in recent years myself but then we are fortunate not to be at risk of the floods.

[rrwelsh79]

Yes it is my first post but not really sure what that has got to do with it?!?! Not sure what your point is? Does that mean I'm not allowed to respond? I am giving my honest opinion of how I find life living in the UK and am entitled to my opinion! Yes the weather is better than last year but still doesn't make it nice weather! The summer here is like an Ozzie winter and at times worse than that!

[Gbye grey sky]

Just surprised really.

 

Sorry that the move back has not worked out for you though clearly you did so for a noble purpose. The UK weather/climate is what it is, I have had 53 years of it and have had enough and looking forward to the change. I always assume returnees know about the UK climate and have reconciled themselves to it. Many on the forums prefer the cold over the heat having tried both.

 

Is there any chance you can return to Oz?

[garyupnorth]

Yes it is my first post but not really sure what that has got to do with it?!?! Not sure what your point is? Does that mean I'm not allowed to respond? I am giving my honest opinion of how I find life living in the UK and am entitled to my opinion! Yes the weather is better than last year but still doesn't make it nice weather! The summer here is like an Ozzie winter and at times worse than that!

Beg to differ, winter weather in Port Noarlunga SA was crap and nothing like UK summer weather. But hey ho once your "call of duty" back in the UK is over then you could always go back to where you feel you belong.

[rrwelsh79]

Gosh people weather in OZ on the whole is a load better than it is in the UK I'm not going into specifics about each state and what their weather was like this year! Where I lived in OZ for 5 years the weather in the winter was much nicer every year than it is here in the summer. You can't predict the weather here most of the time in summer but you can in OZ so you an plan BBQs etc!

 

If only it was that easy to just move back - we have 2 dogs that are our babies and I could not go through putting them in quarantine and could not give them up as they are our world so we are now stuck over here for the next 10plus years! Im also pregnant so couldn't face the move as it's just so stressful! We have our citizenship so hopefully one day! Life is just so much easier there - you wake up to beautiful blue skies most days where here it's Grey most of the time!

[Gbye grey sky]

Good that you have citizenship. Now just need the timing to work for you.

 

I chose my name on this blog for good reason. Grey skies get me down too.

[Wellers and Whitehead]

Gosh people weather in OZ on the whole is a load better than it is in the UK I'm not going into specifics about each state and what their weather was like this year! Where I lived in OZ for 5 years the weather in the winter was much nicer every year than it is here in the summer. You can't predict the weather here most of the time in summer but you can in OZ so you an plan BBQs etc!

 

If only it was that easy to just move back - we have 2 dogs that are our babies and I could not go through putting them in quarantine and could not give them up as they are our world so we are now stuck over here for the next 10plus years! Im also pregnant so couldn't face the move as it's just so stressful! We have our citizenship so hopefully one day! Life is just so much easier there - you wake up to beautiful blue skies most days where here it's Grey most of the time!

 

 

Wow, ten years plus is a long time to live somewhere where you feel 'stuck'

For what it's worth I'm not sure how long ago you were in oz but yes it's nicer weather if that's what floats your boat, but the weather isn't as predictable in oz as it once used to be.

Quarantine is ok it's only ten days now I think..

[RioMarina]

Is it ethical to seek PP/citizenhip if you have no thoughts of living here? Seems a bit dodgy to me.

 

Wonder how many of us would return if you had to hand in your british passport and you were only allowed one citizenship.

[Steve99]

Gosh people weather in OZ on the whole is a load better than it is in the UK I'm not going into specifics about each state and what their weather was like this year! Where I lived in OZ for 5 years the weather in the winter was much nicer every year than it is here in the summer. You can't predict the weather here most of the time in summer but you can in OZ so you an plan BBQs etc!

 

If only it was that easy to just move back - we have 2 dogs that are our babies and I could not go through putting them in quarantine and could not give them up as they are our world so we are now stuck over here for the next 10plus years! Im also pregnant so couldn't face the move as it's just so stressful! We have our citizenship so hopefully one day! Life is just so much easier there - you wake up to beautiful blue skies most days where here it's Grey most of the time!

 

??? how strange you thought that, must be where you lived, Weve done a total of 25 years in Melbourne in 3 different lots (due to never ending family illness). The winter is as endless as it is in the UK, last winter started in May and ended sometime in December, maybe not the tempreture but certainly the rain and wind component which is worse overall than we ever had in London. There was a day mid December when top temp in Frankston, near were we lived hit a top of 13c. Then of course the sun came out in Januarys and was too hot to go out even though we both like the beach, even under big umbrella we were getting burnt, even with factor 30 suncream on and to top it off we are finding we have to spend so many days indoors with the blinds down to keep the sun out and the air con on. Give us London any day for year round climate (more days outside by far)with our chosen holidays to the med for reliable sun when we need it.

 

As for our views (nothing much to do with this post or thread) Melbourne, well these days all the advantages of previous eras have gone, now its a full on city with constipated roads and London prices for isolated soulless housing estates and corny westfield shopping centres as the focal point of everyone's lives, population doubled in 25 years but not the real 'city' advantages like public transport, parks or other things you would associate with a city of 4million. In fact after a recent visit to the UK we found Edinburgh had as much but with a population of 400k, that is 1/10th. and to boot we had a much better summer in the UK last year than most summers in Melbourne and 1000x better than any drab dreary endless winter here (Melbourne that is)

[Guest guest41161]

Gosh people weather in OZ on the whole is a load better than it is in the UK I'm not going into specifics about each state and what their weather was like this year! Where I lived in OZ for 5 years the weather in the winter was much nicer every year than it is here in the summer. You can't predict the weather here most of the time in summer but you can in OZ so you an plan BBQs etc!

 

If only it was that easy to just move back - we have 2 dogs that are our babies and I could not go through putting them in quarantine and could not give them up as they are our world so we are now stuck over here for the next 10plus years! Im also pregnant so couldn't face the move as it's just so stressful! We have our citizenship so hopefully one day! Life is just so much easier there - you wake up to beautiful blue skies most days where here it's Grey most of the time!

 

Quarantine rules have changed, and from the UK dogs only have 10 days now. Surely 10 days away from your pets wouldn't be enough to potentially stop you from living the life you want?

[deano27]

Hmm. All very interesting views and we are in the mode of making plans to move. This seems a bit one sided but that must be the nature of the thread.

All comes down to your personal views. I think making a list of why you are going in the first place and framing it. Those that are coming back after 12-18 months due to home sickness haven't given it enough time. The weather is a huge factor for me as I am sick of weekends being stuck in the house. Can't even do an oil change as it is pissing it down. Yes I know it rains in Australia but less often or heavier and then the sun comes out.

 

It would be interesting to know of the people who return had never even been to Australia on holiday.

 

I would get citizenship if possible as if you return that will probably be it.

 

As for me I have the itch and i really hope I don't come back and post that I miss grey rainy days 8).

[Flathead]

Strange this.....we find ourselves stuck indoors here becaus of the heat and the glare which really gets to you after a while.

 

My wife has just returned from a trip to England and said how wonderful it was to be able to go for a walk outside without fear of getting burnt or having to avoid the heat

[Gbye grey sky]

Hmm. All very interesting views and we are in the mode of making plans to move. This seems a bit one sided but that must be the nature of the thread.

All comes down to your personal views. I think making a list of why you are going in the first place and framing it. Those that are coming back after 12-18 months due to home sickness haven't given it enough time. The weather is a huge factor for me as I am sick of weekends being stuck in the house. Can't even do an oil change as it is pissing it down. Yes I know it rains in Australia but less often or heavier and then the sun comes out.

 

It would be interesting to know of the people who return had never even been to Australia on holiday.

 

I would get citizenship if possible as if you return that will probably be it.

 

As for me I have the itch and i really hope I don't come back and post that I miss grey rainy days 8).

 

A lot depends on where you are in Australia. Can't compare Hobart with Cairns or Melbourne with Brisbane or Perth. It is such a large country.

 

I think that Brisbane for instance gets around double the rainfall of London a year but also around double the sunshine hours.

 

Not sure that a holiday helps a great deal tbh but I am only basing that view on reading a lot of threads on PIO. Lots of happy migrants had never been there before and the reverse often applies too.

 

This does sound like I am making myself a hostage to fortune but I cannot conceive of a circumstance that will bring me back. If we find Queensland is not for us we will move elsewhere in Australia or New Zealand perhaps. I have absolutely nothing against the UK but I have done it to death now. Looking back is not really in my nature.

[Flathead]

Hmm. All very interesting views and we are in the mode of making plans to move. This seems a bit one sided but that must be the nature of the thread.

All comes down to your personal views. I think making a list of why you are going in the first place and framing it. Those that are coming back after 12-18 months due to home sickness haven't given it enough time. The weather is a huge factor for me as I am sick of weekends being stuck in the house. Can't even do an oil change as it is pissing it down. Yes I know it rains in Australia but less often or heavier and then the sun comes out.

 

It would be interesting to know of the people who return had never even been to Australia on holiday.

 

I would get citizenship if possible as if you return that will probably be it.

 

As for me I have the itch and i really hope I don't come back and post that I miss grey rainy days 8).

Have you ever actually lived there?

[pablo]

A lot of biased posts on this thread,on both "sides",dont understand it meself tbh,but anyway,i thought our summer this yr was ok,and winter where i live has seen no ice or snow,loads of rain lol,but not that bad that ive been rained off yet this yr,cant comment on aus weather,im not living there,and its so diverse anyway

[Marisawright]

Great advice.

 

I remember a rather odd pom who lived in the same town as us in Victoria (Torquay) and I asked him if he would ever return to the Uk and his answer was:

 

"No, all my mates back home are really envious of me being here!" (as if thats a reason to stay....but its precisely what you were saying)

 

Where were you in Conutry Victoria incidently?

 

Great example of what I was saying! I just read a great article about that very subject (staying because everyone thinks you're living the dream), but about Italy:

http://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2009/aug/26/italy-dream-move-end

 

I was in Horsham.

[pablo]

A lot depends on where you are in Australia. Can't compare Hobart with Cairns or Melbourne with Brisbane or Perth. It is such a large country.

 

I think that Brisbane for instance gets around double the rainfall of London a year but also around double the sunshine hours.

 

Not sure that a holiday helps a great deal tbh but I am only basing that view on reading a lot of threads on PIO. Lots of happy migrants had never been there before and the reverse often applies too.

 

This does sound like I am making myself a hostage to fortune but I cannot conceive of a circumstance that will bring me back. If we find Queensland is not for us we will move elsewhere in Australia or New Zealand perhaps. I have absolutely nothing against the UK but I have done it to death now. Looking back is not really in my nature.

 

Just out of interest,i researched all this before choosing a state to move to,and it does no harm,"but" it doesn't state that it can be a biblical downpour for 5 minutes,then totally dry up in minutes,stats ,and looking into things is a minefield sometimes i reckon

[Gbye grey sky]

I think last summer in the UK was as good as I have ever known it. We had a great week in the Lake District in July. Hot and sunny every day, sat out in pub gardens every night till 11pm. Swam in lakes (water bloody cold mind!).

 

Got out and about more this winter than any other, it's been more like autumn really. Very wet and a lot of flooding and mud in this area so many places have been off limits round here but still........I normally seem to suffer with SAD but not this winter.

 

I love the UK and don't believe you have to hate anything about it to want to live somewhere else. You only get one life and I have itchy feet and an urge to experience life elsewhere for good or ill.

[Quoll]

Strange this.....we find ourselves stuck indoors here becaus of the heat and the glare which really gets to you after a while.

 

My wife has just returned from a trip to England and said how wonderful it was to be able to go for a walk outside without fear of getting burnt or having to avoid the heat

Yup, there are far fewer days here in UK that I can't do what I want because of the weather! It's much better here for doing things outside for me. Must admit to being somewhat bemused by the constant references to grey skies and tipping it down every day. Sure, we have the odd grey day but more often than not we start out with fabulous clear mornings or end up with fabulous sunny afternoons - it seems that one grey day is automatically interpreted by many as being a grey week/month (my mum certainly does that!). I will hate the 30+ days if and when I do get dragged back. My husband sent me a pic from our neighbourhood today and it looks dry and burnt - desiccated and dusty. Give me lush green any day and variety in weather.