Jambos Posted July 21, 2013 Share Posted July 21, 2013 Hi Moved over from England back in January 2013. Really enjoying the outdoor life and have not looked back since. We are currently renting in the Vines (Swan Valley). Life is good. The only area of concern is finding friends for both our children locally. They are really missing their friends back in the UK. We used to live in small village where they had many friends nearby. I have 2 girls aged 10 & 13 and would really like them to start finding new friendships which would make the transition a lot easier. Any suggestions on this would be much appreciated. Thanks:biggrin: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Quoll Posted July 21, 2013 Share Posted July 21, 2013 Sadly you can't make friends for your kids nor can you make them find friends. If they aren't connecting with other kids at school then maybe they will find someone of like mind at an interest based activity. Take the pressure off them to make friends - they either will or they won't and of course they are going to miss the friendships they made with kids they shared a good part of heir lives with. If they complain that they have no friends then turn it back on them - that's very sad dear, now what are 3 things you can do to make new friends? Don't tell them what to do but be prepared to facilitate any of their sensible suggestions and the next time they complain about it, don't buy into the angst but "that's very sad dear, now which of your three things did you try?" The 13 yr old is coming up to the "year 9 bitches" age - kids of that age are going to be cliquey and often with a powerful little queen b* who can make life difficult for girls she doesn't include in her clique (teenage girls can be very cruel!) - if you've got one of them queering the friendship pitch then maybe a very quiet word to the school. Good luck - your kids will probably click with someone at some stage. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
northernbird Posted July 21, 2013 Share Posted July 21, 2013 I agree with everything Quoll says. Kids (particularly girls IMO) can be manipulative too and if they want to put seeds of doubt in your mind about the move to Australia then what better way to say they have no friends here and miss their friends back in the UK. Stick at it and take Quoll's advice. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Que Sera Sera Posted July 21, 2013 Share Posted July 21, 2013 It's a difficult age for both really. It does take time though, it's hard but you can't rush it. I've seen people try to force it and IMO that's a recipe for disaster. Couples get friendly so the kids socialise with the parents , families together and all then, then someone falls out and it all goes pear shaped. Usually the friendships will come through school 6 months is still early days. Try and be patient and in the mean time enjoy spending time together as a family because all too soon they grow independent and don't want to spend time with you . Good luck. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Incata Posted July 21, 2013 Share Posted July 21, 2013 Have you got them in some clubs such as scouts or guides? You could also try having a house warming and send out invites to everyone in the road and see if anyone with kids turns up. Have they talked about anyone at school that they might like to invite over one weekend? Alternatively have you thought of contacting some of the PIO people who have arrived recently with kids the same age as your daughter? People regularly post about having landed and you could always send them a PM and see if the whole family want to come over for a coffee one day. They are at a difficult age, but I am sure that they will make some friends eventually. Best of luck! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jambos Posted July 21, 2013 Author Share Posted July 21, 2013 Thanks everyone. The Ten year old has settled down well and made many friends. The 13 year is struggling. I agree that we should not force friendships on them but we should be encouraging them and be creating the environment for them to meet people of their own age. I think the already established groups at her school are very hard to be a part of. I know it will happen in due course but until then it is a little upsetting to see them so unhappy at this point.:sad: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jambos Posted July 21, 2013 Author Share Posted July 21, 2013 Have you got them in some clubs such as scouts or guides? You could also try having a house warming and send out invites to everyone in the road and see if anyone with kids turns up. Have they talked about anyone at school that they might like to invite over one weekend? Alternatively have you thought of contacting some of the PIO people who have arrived recently with kids the same age as your daughter? People regularly post about having landed and you could always send them a PM and see if the whole family want to come over for a coffee one They are at a difficult age, but I am sure that they will make some friends eventually. Best of luck! [i think when the weather improves we will use our Vines resort membership and use the Swimming pool. This could be a good place to start. /QUOTE] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Quoll Posted July 21, 2013 Share Posted July 21, 2013 Thanks everyone. The Ten year old has settled down well and made many friends. The 13 year is struggling. I agree that we should not force friendships on them but we should be encouraging them and be creating the environment for them to meet people of their own age. I think the already established groups at her school are very hard to be a part of. I know it will happen in due course but until then it is a little upsetting to see them so unhappy at this point.:sad: Yup, the queen bees and wannabes syndrome. She might be on the outer for a couple of years then the girls get to be vaguely human again. Interest based groups are probably a better bet than school groups. Last thing she wants to come across is as desperate for friends, the clique will exploit the weakness! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paul1Perth Posted July 22, 2013 Share Posted July 22, 2013 Have you got them in some clubs such as scouts or guides? You could also try having a house warming and send out invites to everyone in the road and see if anyone with kids turns up. Have they talked about anyone at school that they might like to invite over one weekend? Alternatively have you thought of contacting some of the PIO people who have arrived recently with kids the same age as your daughter? People regularly post about having landed and you could always send them a PM and see if the whole family want to come over for a coffee one They are at a difficult age, but I am sure that they will make some friends eventually. Best of luck! [i think when the weather improves we will use our Vines resort membership and use the Swimming pool. This could be a good place to start. /QUOTE] Problem with the Vines is it's a long way from anywhere else. There are plenty of clubs, swim clubs, netball, tennis, gymnastics but if she's not very sporty it might be difficult. Joondalup arena is good, loads of things going on there and the pool is good for a family outing. Indoor so any weather will do. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jen85 Posted July 23, 2013 Share Posted July 23, 2013 Yup, the queen bees and wannabes syndrome. She might be on the outer for a couple of years then the girls get to be vaguely human again. Interest based groups are probably a better bet than school groups. Last thing she wants to come across is as desperate for friends, the clique will exploit the weakness! I think this is all worse now, when I was at school there were the popular kids and then everyone else (the normal ones ) The popular ones always ended up the worst off later in life, well from what I have seen in my old school. Not all kids getted sucked into the whole cliquy thing, we've become so Americanised its a shame! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
newjez Posted July 23, 2013 Share Posted July 23, 2013 I agree with most of what has been said. I do think parents can have a positive effect on friendships, but at the end of the day it is up to the kids. 13 is a difficult age, and I would concentrate more on her, as it is easy to fall into anti social behaviour at this age to 'fit in'. There are probably some groups you don't want her to be friends with. Do they go to school locally or private? This can affect things if there school friends aren't close by. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
George and Mildred Posted November 23, 2013 Share Posted November 23, 2013 Hi Jambos, We have a 13 year old daughter who would love to meet up with your girls. We live close to Mandurah but I'm sure we could work something out if the distance isn't a problem for you, we don't mind a drive out. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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