RVN Posted March 20, 2013 Share Posted March 20, 2013 Hi all, sorry only writing this to have a vent. Since moving from sububia to rural NSW 8months ago. We are lucky to have brought some acreage and fill it with a few farm animals. Everything is great here, we love living off the land but since we moved we have had non stop visitors. Friends and people we have not seen or heard of in ages suddenly want to visit. Whilst we love seeing our friends, we are finding it too much. Every few weekends we are entertaining again and its costing us a bomb in BBQs and time. We are trying to renovate our house and tend to our animals whilst learning how to live off the land. My OH is up super early and home late. His work is very physically demanding and he doesn't get much rest when he gets home. Our free weekends are always doing up the house or fixing something that has gone wrong ie, fences down etc We absolutely love living here, but feel like we are running a B&B!. We are starting to dread the next time the phone rings or we get that email...can we come and visit???? Feels like every long weekend now is booked up. Help we don't want to offend our friends, but we are exhausted and don't want to be everyone elses country retreat. Anyone else in the same boat??? Okay soap box session over....mmmmmm 1 missed call already:arghh: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stovies Posted March 20, 2013 Share Posted March 20, 2013 Just say no! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NicF Posted March 20, 2013 Share Posted March 20, 2013 Or say yes providing you help paint the house, dig the fields, feed the sheep or whatever needs doing. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Harpodom Posted March 20, 2013 Share Posted March 20, 2013 tell em to piss off! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dmjg Posted March 20, 2013 Share Posted March 20, 2013 Tell them the truth, and them say yes, if they work on the farm for their nightly BBQ. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dmjg Posted March 20, 2013 Share Posted March 20, 2013 tell em to piss off! Youre the one that loves everybody, no matter how much they whine, moan or complain how expensive everything is. You would never tell anyone to piss off. Have I hacked your account?:err: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Harpodom Posted March 20, 2013 Share Posted March 20, 2013 Youre the one that loves everybody, no matter how much they whine, moan or complain how expensive everything is. You would never tell anyone to piss off. Have I hacked your account?:err: Nah mate, I'm just a terrible host. I can put up with people (outside of first degree relatives) in my house 2 days max, and that's pushing it. I hate people taking liberties. I also hate having my personal space encroached upon. IMO the situation the OP describes (of people just abusing their hospitality) is totally unacceptable, and yes I'd tell em to piss off! Not in so many words obviously, unless the polite approach didnt work. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nicolac34 Posted March 20, 2013 Share Posted March 20, 2013 Develop a talent for excuses! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RVN Posted March 20, 2013 Author Share Posted March 20, 2013 Hi hear you harpodom LOL, the trouble is I don't want to offend our friends by telling them to "piss off" They have a very different perception of county living..But if you live in the sticks, your'll know its very different from suburbia..We had guests at xmas that could not cope with the fact our electricity cut out due to a storm for several hours (our bad for not getting a generator yet!) It was so awkward, listening to them wingeing, good job we did not run out of grog LOL If its not the flies, theres no town water, bush fires, the snakes, the animals smell and bite you, the cockeral wakes you up in the morning to the oh you can't shoot the lovely fluffy bunnies ????? oh the car gets bogged and its miles from anywhere,...er hello why'd think we moved here..??? lol sorry I feel better for the vent...... Keep smiling, good idea to get them to work..MMMM theres poo to pick up, er..sheep to round up...who wants to catch the bull???? yes he is in that paddock over there, about 300 acres away haa haaa (joking don't have that much..but hey my neighbour does) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MARYROSE02 Posted March 20, 2013 Share Posted March 20, 2013 Do 'townies' really come to the country and run through all those cliches - 'complaining about cockerels waking them up at the crack of dawn?' and not understanding that every animal that is not 'useful' is vermin? If you don't want your friends from the city to visit, tell them. Don't they ever invite you to stay with them in the city? They seem like 'fairweather' friends to me? Of course, if NONE of them come to see you, you might start to feel lonely! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dmjg Posted March 20, 2013 Share Posted March 20, 2013 Nah mate, I'm just a terrible host. I can put up with people (outside of first degree relatives) in my house 2 days max, and that's pushing it. I hate people taking liberties. I also hate having my personal space encroached upon. IMO the situation the OP describes (of people just abusing their hospitality) is totally unacceptable, and yes I'd tell em to piss off! Not in so many words obviously, unless the polite approach didnt work. One of the few things I agree with you 100%. And I would include the parents and parents in law in that too. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dmjg Posted March 20, 2013 Share Posted March 20, 2013 Another thought for the op, you could tell each group of visitors that you are too far out to run to the shops so they must ensure they bring enough food for 10 people, for 3 meals per day for however many days they are going to stay. I wonder how many will stay then? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
flag of convenience Posted March 20, 2013 Share Posted March 20, 2013 Agree with MARY ROSE 02. Think yourself lucky for being so popular. You make it sound like a bit like a rural retreat or farm in Somerset than out bush in OZ. Do many make return visits I wonder? From my experience the bush life can be a little wanting and the weekly barn dance tiresome after week three. To have folk with a different perspective from the norm found may be welcome at some later stage. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Guest16631 Posted March 20, 2013 Share Posted March 20, 2013 .........we had the same scenario years ago................and had to tell people we could not have any more guests ........but they were able to stay as part of the family........! ..........miles of masbroing fencing and running new barb wire....! ..........early morning feeds and poo picking up...........the whole paddock not just the edges.... ..........feet trimming.............worming .............shared chores......... ..........water tanks............electricity failures and a septic system ,grease traps......and all it's idiosyncrasies ......lol..... ...........will soon divide those who want to experience your life...........and those who just want a holiday.... ...........suffice to say...........we had few visitors after the first couple of years...........!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JoandJon Posted March 20, 2013 Share Posted March 20, 2013 The next request you get, simply reply and say something along the lines of: ' That would be a FABULOUS time to come, OH desperately needs a few extra hands to (crutch the sheep/drench the lambs/fix the fences/mow the lawn/tip the cows) and I've got a STACK of (composting/manuring/seeding/weeding/painting) to do. Bad news is that we're running really short of wine/beer, meat and money, so if you don't want a dry, vegetarian diet then please make sure to bring along a decent selection to share ' If they're true friends they won't mind helping and bringing stuff along Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bobbsy Posted March 20, 2013 Share Posted March 20, 2013 I don't know if any of you remember the best-seller book from a few decades back called "A Year in Provence". It was by a guy who had moved to southern France, renovated a farmhouse, then lived there. He had exactly the same problem and actually set down in the book details of what he considered "good" visitors. I don't remember them all, but good visitors: Rent a car so they don't need to be chauffered. Remember that their hosts are NOT on holiday so don't push for late nights and long lie ins Contribute to shopping costs. Buy lots of booze, enough that there are leftovers when they go. Offer to take hosts out to dinner once or twice during the visit. ...and so on. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Petals Posted March 20, 2013 Share Posted March 20, 2013 Perhaps you are making it such a memorable experience they want to return and also they tell others. So next time, be upfront, you can come, pitch a tent as we are renovating and there is no room in the house. Then go to bed early, get up very early make lots of noise so that it is not such a memorable experience. Only invite those that want to help, buy food, bring drink and their own car. We both like our own space so we do not go on holiday with friends, and do not ask them to stay, only family comes to stay and they have to take pot luck. Its free board after all. If you lose some friends they were not friends in the first place. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
flag of convenience Posted March 20, 2013 Share Posted March 20, 2013 I don't know if any of you remember the best-seller book from a few decades back called "A Year in Provence". It was by a guy who had moved to southern France, renovated a farmhouse, then lived there. He had exactly the same problem and actually set down in the book details of what he considered "good" visitors. I don't remember them all, but good visitors: Rent a car so they don't need to be chauffered. Remember that their hosts are NOT on holiday so don't push for late nights and long lie ins Contribute to shopping costs. Buy lots of booze, enough that there are leftovers when they go. Offer to take hosts out to dinner once or twice during the visit. ...and so on. Could hardly forget. It was everywhere at the time. I went to the village he wrote about and think it fair to say he took a lot of poetic license in his book A year In Provence and the follow. He didn't seem to have been paricularly popular and largely didn't mix with the locals,it seemed.Also the feeling was that he took the pee out of the local community. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paul1Perth Posted March 20, 2013 Share Posted March 20, 2013 Hi all, sorry only writing this to have a vent. Since moving from sububia to rural NSW 8months ago. We are lucky to have brought some acreage and fill it with a few farm animals. Everything is great here, we love living off the land but since we moved we have had non stop visitors. Friends and people we have not seen or heard of in ages suddenly want to visit. Whilst we love seeing our friends, we are finding it too much. Every few weekends we are entertaining again and its costing us a bomb in BBQs and time. We are trying to renovate our house and tend to our animals whilst learning how to live off the land. My OH is up super early and home late. His work is very physically demanding and he doesn't get much rest when he gets home. Our free weekends are always doing up the house or fixing something that has gone wrong ie, fences down etc We absolutely love living here, but feel like we are running a B&B!. We are starting to dread the next time the phone rings or we get that email...can we come and visit???? Feels like every long weekend now is booked up. Help we don't want to offend our friends, but we are exhausted and don't want to be everyone elses country retreat. Anyone else in the same boat??? Okay soap box session over....mmmmmm 1 missed call already:arghh: You have got to start telling people no. We had both our parents over in the first couple of years. They both came for 2 months. It was about a month too long and we made a pact that if they wanted to come again we would tell them that it was going to be 4 weeks tops. We have also had other family where there have been too many for the house and have been a bit peeved that we haven't crammed them in. We got them great accommodation just round the corner from where we live and helped with the cost. They still weren't happy that they had to pay something. Problem is visitors are on holiday and they expect hotel service when we still have to live a normal life. Go to work. take the kids places, carry on seeing our friends and doing our usual stuff. They think you are there just to make their holiday better. We have friends at the moment who have their parents over. They have paid for them to go all over the place and have taken time off work to entertain them for a few weeks. Now they have had to go back to work and the visiting mother hasn't raised a hand to help with anything the whole time here. My friend asked her Mum if she would cook dinner the first day she was back at work as her husband was out at work too. She went back in her lunchbreak to catch up with the and her Dad pulled her to one side and said "About your Mum cooking dinner, she won't be". Needless to say she was livid but somehow manged to keep her temper. They have another month or so here yet and didn't want to make the atmosphere too bad for the rest of the visit. It's costing them a fortune to eat out most of the time. If we all got together we could write a good book about visitors.:cool: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paul1Perth Posted March 20, 2013 Share Posted March 20, 2013 Hi hear you harpodom LOL, the trouble is I don't want to offend our friends by telling them to "piss off" They have a very different perception of county living..But if you live in the sticks, your'll know its very different from suburbia..We had guests at xmas that could not cope with the fact our electricity cut out due to a storm for several hours (our bad for not getting a generator yet!) It was so awkward, listening to them wingeing, good job we did not run out of grog LOL If its not the flies, theres no town water, bush fires, the snakes, the animals smell and bite you, the cockeral wakes you up in the morning to the oh you can't shoot the lovely fluffy bunnies ????? oh the car gets bogged and its miles from anywhere,...er hello why'd think we moved here..??? lol sorry I feel better for the vent...... Keep smiling, good idea to get them to work..MMMM theres poo to pick up, er..sheep to round up...who wants to catch the bull???? yes he is in that paddock over there, about 300 acres away haa haaa (joking don't have that much..but hey my neighbour does) Ah well after one visit where they were probably expecting El Questro, but near a beach. You will most likely find they will stop ringing for fear of being invited back.:wink: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MARYROSE02 Posted March 20, 2013 Share Posted March 20, 2013 Nah mate, I'm just a terrible host. I can put up with people (outside of first degree relatives) in my house 2 days max, and that's pushing it. I hate people taking liberties. I also hate having my personal space encroached upon. IMO the situation the OP describes (of people just abusing their hospitality) is totally unacceptable, and yes I'd tell em to piss off! Not in so many words obviously, unless the polite approach didnt work. It is usually people with EXTREME halitosis who do that! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RVN Posted March 20, 2013 Author Share Posted March 20, 2013 that books sounds very interesting..might have to have a read. Maybe Im being a bit of a ungrateful old woman about it all especially as people are travelling a long way to come and see us. Yes it is lovely we are very popular that people want to visit us. No not had an invitation back, but then maybe it is expected that we would obviously be welcome..I dunno. It just feels like we haven't been here long enough to get ourselves sorted yet and the last thing we want is for every long weekend to be expected to play host. and yes people do complain, as mentioned previously, my xmas guest, lovely lady but her life is very different to ours, she is used to Sydney living and one click of the finger gets the waiter to come running. She spend all the weekend complaining how the cockeral woke her up and was most unhappy having to cart water in from our tanks to flush the loo (due to power cut). We also had other friends that were most put out that we would not let them drive their car all over our paddocks, so their daughter (who is 9) could have a go at driving!!! Not to mention our paddocks are not a race track, and it was in the height of summer, so grass fire a very high risk. Having said that we have had some lovely friends come up that have been appreciative of the visit. It is nice to see people, and clearly they do not realise we have had lots of guests prior to their visit. Think maybe we just need a holiday ourselves, so will make an effort to do that I think. Thanks for your ears everyone. Im not normally a whinger but the last stay request took the biscuit...so I said No...yay I can say it LOL Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
akiralx Posted March 20, 2013 Share Posted March 20, 2013 My wife's mother is coming at Christmas, which I am quite looking forward to in fact as she is a good sort (and lived in Aus for many years), but I was keen that she should return by end of Jan 2014 as we have other UK friends visiting in late Feb and want a few weeks' rest. My wife wrote her a long letter and aked me to print it off for her at work - when I noticed that she had as usual couched the leave date in very vague terms ('obviously stay as long as you want'...). Only after I gave her the letter and she had posted it did I point out that I had amended that bit to emphasise in strong language that she had to be out by no later than 31/01/2014... for some reason the missus seemed a tad upset. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
northshorepom Posted March 20, 2013 Share Posted March 20, 2013 I love having house guests (so long as they don't expect to be waited on hand and foot) The more the merrier tbh. Takes a long time to get old for me :-) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dmjg Posted March 20, 2013 Share Posted March 20, 2013 The next request you get, simply reply and say something along the lines of: ' That would be a FABULOUS time to come, OH desperately needs a few extra hands to (crutch the sheep/drench the lambs/fix the fences/mow the lawn/tip the cows) and I've got a STACK of (composting/manuring/seeding/weeding/painting) to do. Bad news is that we're running really short of wine/beer, meat and money, so if you don't want a dry, vegetarian diet then please make sure to bring along a decent selection to share ' If they're true friends they won't mind helping and bringing stuff along You're far more diplomatic than me! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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