docboat

your first priority in relationships is your husband. Not your child, not your parents - it is you and your husband. That is a fundamental of relationships. If that relationship is on a solid footing, the next relationships - your children - come into focus. Then, and only then, your parents. Any other approach, and you get into more trouble. (of course, the rule is not infallible, but it is a constant) So - having put your parents before your husband, how is it working out for you? Will you continue to do that, or is your relationship with your husband more important? Or, having put your parents before your husband, are you now realising that your priorities may not have been shared with your husband, and he is now working it out on his own, hoping or you to join him, while you are figuring out what your priorities are? So the real issue you are having is one of communication - both communication between yourself and your husband, as well as your communication within yourself. Not an answer, but perhaps a line to take in sorting out for yourself where you are.

I will see if I can get permission from she who must be obeyed to dally for a while

Answers: 1. They will follow you 2. You won't turn into a different person But you can change that - to do so, you need to start to change your thinking. Do that, and come over as soon as you please. Do not do that - and you are better off staying at home.

I get the sense, from reading your posts, that you tend to look at the negative side of life. You have given good reasons to not do anything, but remain unhappy with the status quo. If that is the case - if - then coming to Australia would be fun, a lot of fun, with opportunities and openings for the future, a place to kickstart life. But the tendency to dwell on the negative side would negate the opportunities, and you would be left with the feeling you had wasted your time, and would feel bad about yourself. I would suggest you do seek some advice about how you manage your internal - psychological - life, before you do come here. It might make your time in Australia more interesting and profitable for your future.

Delighted you have joined us in Perth! I certainly think WA is the best state, and Perth is is the best place in Australia, but this is terribly biased. Warm-ish today at 41C, and while I am at work the family will be enjoying the pool, friends are coming over to jump in the water with the boys. We are SOR, which was a big move for me, as an ex-Floreat boy, but all is good. You seem to be in the posher end of town though, pretty near the "Taj on Swan" monument to decadence, so your experience will be very ... refined. Stay cool, and may your next update report even better things

Carols by Candlelight yesterday evening in Perth - wonderful event with friends in the Supreme Court gardens. 6,000 or so attended, and they hoped to raise $1m for charity. We had friends down from Hong Kong, as well as from Perth, so we settled in on our chairs, opened the picnic basket(s) and enjoyed the atmosphere. Surfing school for the children. Planning a feast - lots of Asian food, a little alcohol (maybe a drop more than little) - bliss.

Yes, can relate. But in a nutshell - it is not their life to lead. It is entirely your right to tell them that, if they appreciate your presence on visits, to shut the hell up or come see you in Australia. I would not give even a short moment to a feeling of guilt. Anger, maybe, but not guilt.

Really, I don't know how we manage to eat in Australia. It just isn't like home, is it?

And I would agree with this .... BUT ... it is clear from what you have written that you have made lots of excuses for not doing something, but not one good reason has been given. This is a pattern for 15 years already? nd you will not continue the pattern in the UK? I think you will. But go for it. Do it. But do not expect that your life will change - it will be the same there as it is here. Just different climate.

My experience, going to the UK not from Australia but from the USSR in 1991, was interesting. At least, I think it was interesting. My views on the UK then were about how shabby the place looked. And this, after being in the USSR for a year. Probably I was still used to my memories of Germany, where shabbiness was not a feature of the environment. I experienced some degree of culture shock - a feeling of general doom and gloom, low wages, poor standard of living, low expectations. Mind you, I hated my job, and that was probably a large part of it. I left the UK as soon as I could - did not really want to go there in the first place - and settled into Asia before returning to Australia. What do I think influenced my feelings? The colour of non-summer months, a nation struggling as individuals to make a go of life, inner city devastation, train stations of unsurpassed tristesse. Maybe I was just in the wrong place at the wrong time.

I would prefer home made diversity - good Malaysian-style curry made from scratch with ingredients sourced at Asian store. Absolutely fantastic range of options.

OP - not unless I really have to. One wedding, that was it. Must take a trip with wife to Europe though - Germany in particular, and Italy/Spain - I believe she is interested in ogling latin males. No idea what she is on about. I am after the German beer.

You have, OP, got the question very wrong. Your first question must be: "Do I really want to leave the UK?" if yes, then ask yourself why - the precise reason why - you want to leave the UK. Your next question will then be "Where in the world will I obtain the advantages I seek, that are not present in the UK?" You might find Canada is better suited, or South Africa or heck, just about any country in the world. Now, you obviously are some way along to moving to QLD, so I would suggest you get very clear the answers to the first question. Why? Because you will need to keep in mind why you are here, and not "back home" when the going gets tough.

and maybe if not we can chase the OP down and bundle him off to the airport? Either for being an a**e or a wind up merchant. Both are valid reasons.

Agree with all that has been said before. But it is really important that you keep a contemporaneous diary of what is being said and done. That diary carries significant weight if there were to be any legal issues. Do speak with a lawyer - do that urgently, as well as keeping your employment options open. By doing these things you remove yourself from being the victim, to being proactive and in charge of your destiny. You will not like your employment, but you will know of a certainty that you are fixing it under your own terms

I think the problem starts with your mindset. You call England "home". You do not feel your in-laws are family, at least, not as far as it impacts you. For your child, its' family is all here. Down that path you will go of taking 2/3 of your family away from their immediate family and into extended family, where you think you will be more comfortable. It does not sound like a great idea. does it? The next problem will probably arise from a fundamental lack of communication. You think your mother really really wants to babysit, and I am sure she would love to, but how much? At your financial and social expense? And hubby - what does he think? Then you mention that everyone here is fantastic, but you miss ... the nostalgia of your own childhood. Your child will grow up in Australia and develop its' own nostalgia for a childhood in Australia. Unless, of course, you take it to the UK, where it will develop a different set of nostalgia. All good, sure. But what you are really saying is you want to revisit your childhood. I could go on, but that would be mean. I think the real issue is not with your family in England or Australia, but with your thoughts, your mindset, and I wonder if hormones and some postnatal depression might not be the real issue. So my bottom line is as follows: 1. do nothing yet 2. see a GP and get assessed for PND - and treated if need be 3. plan a holiday with hubby and child in the UK. Make it an extended holiday if you like 4. communicate - both internally with yourself (really important this point - it is easy to forget the need for a good understanding of your own soul) and externally with your family.

You have basically a snowballs' chance in hell of getting a court permission to remove your son from his mother, even if she were a total dropkick, unless there were really bad circumstances, and even then the courts would likely demand the mother be given reasonable access to the child, and travelling to Australia is not going to be her best approach of visiting, is it? Yes, the child may well be getting one-sided information, yes, the mother is possibly telling a different version of her truth, and he will grow up thinking ill of you. It happens. A lot. As far as that is concerned, you can either stay in closer contact, and realising that the uphill battle to be seen as a loving caring dad is going to be very arduous, or you can leave a legacy for your son, that he can find out about you when he is ready to confront you. As for the main part of your post, there is much demand for prison officers, but less for electricians. I would suggest your partner be the main applicant, and you can upskill (aka getting Aussie tickets) and find a job when you get here.

Look, I am going to be very un-PC here, but I think that if you are thinking that way already, you should move back to the UK and stay there. Migrating is really for people who have what it takes, to go through thick and thin, who can grit their teeth and get on with it. If you do not have what it takes, and yes, that includes a good dose of being self-focused (I do not say selfishness, but that is what it may amount to) then you will struggle now, continue to struggle later, and not really feel happy until you have given up and gone back home. If you can look at yourselves and say that you DO have what it takes, then you might consider the reasons you came to Australia in the first place. If you can not identify THE reason(s) you chose to came here, then you are in the wrong country with the right stuff for migrating.

Look, in Australia, we work for Aussie money and buy in Aussie shops, and it makes not a whit of difference what it costs in comparison in the UK or Timbuktu. The real question should be about the standard of living you can expect in Australia, on the wage you will be getting in Australia.

we have one and love it. Compared to the other blaster, the contents are really broken down. Good for use if you are moving to a healthier lifestyle. If you just want to make an occasional smoothy, or are not too bothered about your health, buy a cheap blaster.

I remember, many years ago, my mother was making life for my new wife into absolute hell. My (ex) wife was doing her very best to please her MIL, but nothing was good enough for her. My wife felt awful, exhausted and near tears. I took a walk with my mother and had a chat with her. The gist of it was that I had two women in my life - my mother and my wife. They were not getting on with each other, and I would have to make a choice as to which woman I stood beside. "And mum," I said, "if it comes to a choice, you are going to lose." There was peace after that, my mother never really forgave me, but it was a choice absolutely worth making. Let no-one blackmail you. Ever.

I love Australia, it is my country, and I think there is no better place to bring up a family. Having said that, I would caution you to be very careful about what you choose to do. You have a whole lot of changes to prepare for, lives to re-arrange - on an emotional, physical, social level. It sounds like (but I know you did not mean that) you have taken this much the same as an offer to move to another town in the UK. You know very well that this needs to be carefully considered as a family. I think that people who immigrate into Australia do best if they have a clear idea of just what it is they want. Does one seek short or long term stay, or aim for permanency. Is this a career move, possibly temporary, but certainly moving ahead. Is this a journey for financial reward, this being a stop on that journey, and taking into account possibly long-term unacceptable hard work with little free time to recompense. Should the children come along, or think about boarding school at least in the short term. What are the real costs involved, and who will pick up the costs of visas. Will the company be responsible for rental accommodation, at least for a time? If this is for the benefit of the company, are you being asked to do the "heavy lifting", and if so, why should you? Many a topic of conversation, preferably with just a little wine to keep the head clear but the juices flowing. Involve the children too. Make it an adventure, but one on your terms.

My granddad said, and I agree: "Home is where you hang your hat". The UK is a foreign country for me, and I realised that while I was in Germany. Visited the UK twice in 10 years, and each time enjoyed the visit as a tourist, and was glad to be going home at the end of the visit. Same for China. Now Australia is home, but for the first time I feel at home and have the citizenship to go with it.

Yes, I would ditch the UK passport in a heartbeat. Thought for a while back in the 80's about changing to German nationality, but was too lazy to go through the process. Aussie passport is firmly in the safe, and I will not give that one up.

Forgive my possibly jaundiced perception, but your whole post reeks of uncertainty, doubt and fear. Under such circumstances, do not even think about moving to another town, let alone across the world to another country. Set down for yourselves very clearly what it is you want, and why you want it. Get your real reasons, motives, emotions clearly laid out. Then look at where you want to be.