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I have known an invitation to succeed with over claimed points, where the points score met the required score after the over claimed points deducted.

None of my mum's siblings or their kids have visited her in the 55 years since she's lived in Australia. I find it hard to believe as they would have had a really cheap holiday that would have been far superior to anything they have ever had. They would only have needed to pay for the flights. It's a long flight I know, but even so.

When we arrived it was in the days of aerogrammes and £1 a minute phone calls so it was very much a case of out of sight, out of mind. I've pretty much continued that - maybe an email every 6 months nowadays but that hasn't changed the fact that when we meet it's like there hasn't been years since we last chatted, we just slot tight back into the same chat. I occasionally text exchange with my son but we can go weeks/months with nothing and I do try and ft call my grandson every Sunday but 9 times out of 10 he is busy doing something important like playing on his Switch or watching cartoons. I don't expect to live in anyone's pocket. I email if I have something to say, facetime if it's important and get on with my life as they get on with theirs. Doesn't stop the love or friendship though - I certainly don't expect their lives to revolve around me when I visit, just because I've made the effort to be there. The fact that they are all very welcoming is certainly a bonus but just shows how strong friendships can be - if they weren't welcoming or accommodating, no skin off my nose.

I do accept that I was the one who left and they had to do without me physically but I often wonder if any of them think that I was just one person in their lives but my decision has ultimately lost them all. I exhausted myself in the early years desperate to stay connected and with the time difference was getting up at 5 in the morning to call people before I went to work. I do not struggle with staying in touch with my brother who lives in Florida. We message and call each other all the time. It’s just a mystery to me.

I do think this is the case with another relative who always tries to say how much he has and makes.

Thank you! This has given me so much validation. I think they do think we’re on “holiday” sometimes

In the early days when it was all new and we were finding our way there were regular phone calls, emails and visits. But as life settled down I think we all adjusted to a different sense of normality. Visits were still looked forward to but not quite so intensely, phone calls and emails were appreciated but not sent or received as often. Living on the periphery of each other's lives changed the dynamic. That doesn't mean that we care less about the people who moved away, just that the gap created by absent family and friends has been smoothed over as everyone gets on with day to day life. Tx

I sometimes wonder if they think because you are in Australia, you are on holiday so have more time than them or that you are the one with all the “news”? Rather than you are living a life of work, putting the bins out and ferrying children to sport just like them. I have found the same in both directions. When I moved to Australia people all gave me their email addresses and I duly emailed, not a single one replied. one did when I sent a ranty email asking if they were receiving my emails and they literally sent “yes” back to me. Gave it up then. Coming in the opposite direction years later pretty much the same thing. So I assume out of sight, out of mind and as others have said, I moved so therefore it’s on me to make the effort. Luckily I don’t get that attached to people, so I move on quite easily. I did visit the uk and not tell anyone once, so had a lovely holiday that didn’t revolve around seeing family. But I have an incredibly fractured relationship with my family, so not hard…..

I suggest you get a quote for a shared container, to compare it with the cost of the Movecube. The Movecube used to be a no-brainer because it was cheaper than a shared container, but that's certainly not always the case now. If you're not sure what to bring and what to leave behind, try doing a 'pretend shop' at the websites of major Australian stores. Sites like TheGoodGuys for electrical, HarveyNorman for furniture (or IKEA if you like their stuff, but make sure there's going to be a branch where you are, as they aren't everywhere here). The thing that stunned me, when I moved countries, was how much it cost to replace pots and pans, crockery, cutlery, towels and linen -- all the small stuff. We tend to buy those things gradually and don't realise how many you need, and how much they cost, when you have to trek round the shops and buy them all at once. The dog is going to be the most expensive cost of the lot! Doing it yourself won't save much and isn't worth the hassle and potential disasters, look at Pet Air or similar. You'll save a ton of money by having family to stay with, so that's great. Buying a car is expensive, and Australians don't generally lease their car, because leases here are a dreadful rip-off. Also don't get sucked into a car loan from a car dealer, because they're a rip off too! Probably best to compromise on a second-hand car to start with.

This did make me chuckle because it’s so true.

Ouch

That’s good information for us thanks

That makes the need for a passport or at least proof of citizenship stronger, he is effectively an Australian tourist with no right to abode or residency; unless he can prove citizenship or has a valid visa.

My rellies and friends are scattered all over the UK - from the north of Scotland right down to the south of England. I used to try to travel to see many of them but later on it was easier if we met up half way. One of my oldest friends who migrated to the US many years ago came over to the UK for a visit most times I was there which was lovely.

Jealousy.

I’ve not lived in UK for 30 years, but did visit annually for about 3 months before COVID as our only grandchildren are there. We are made very welcome by our friends to visit them, but I think there is a different mindset in England. We usually rent somewhere big enough for people to stay with us, but most prefer to stay home, I think genuinely want us to visit, but perhaps don’t realise how much driving around we then to catching up with everyone? There is the long standing expat joke about visiting UK, when you try to arrange a visit, they are looking forward to seeing you, BUT! Mondays out because I do the washing , can’t make Tuesday because I get my hair done, Wednesday I’m at bingo, Friday I do the shopping, etc etc, and it’s true to a certain extent, as many are set in their ways, happy to see you, as long as it fits into their life. Having written the above, we love catching up with everyone, we always stay with friends in our old village, we have a wonderful time there, a great pub lunch is always arranged so we can see lots of our old friends, and we accept that we do the travelling, as rekindling old friendships is worth every mile travelled.

As I see it you have 2 options. 1. Employee an agent to see if they can pull off some magic to dig you out of this hole 2. Recall your application (by saying you no longer want it) and apply again with the right points total You won't get a positive outcome by hoping this will fix itself, as Paul said they legally can't allow you to be granted a visa if you declared points are higher than your actual points no matter how innocent a mistake it is.

So why bother? I only keep in touch with people who want to stay in touch with me. I talk to my mum, but almost never my sister. I've got one best friend I chat with regularly, but otherwise don't bother. Certainly wouldn't waste my holidays on chasing them.

I dug out a post I wrote back after we had moved in 2022 where I lay out costs we incurred So for us (2 adults and one teen - who ended up staying behind initially for uni but still needed a visa) $25k visa, agent, tests, medicals and police $8k travel $8k temp accom for 6 weeks $6k accom deposit and first 4 weeks $5.5k furniture and white goods $34k car costs $8k living costs for 2 months Total until first pay day $93k (which was 7 weeks after arriving) Now maybe you won't go and buy a brand new car straight away and so you won't spend that much but we spent $60k not including a car (which you will need at some point)

Where are you from in the UK? If you are currently in a major (and expensive) city (London, Manchester, Edinburgh etc) you'll be pleasantly surprised how cheap everything is, if you are from Burnley (no offence to Burnley it's just that it was announced as the most cost effective town to live in) you might have a heart attack when you see prices over here.

I think most of this is pretty common, we made the decision to move as far away as physically possible from them and yet we expect them to roll out the red carpet when we say "on I'm visiting in 3 months". Have you considered that maybe your sister had already booked (or promised) to go on that trip before you made your announcement. Maybe she really wants to see you but can't disappoint the people who are there for her every day (rather than sis who breezes in once every 5 years - or whatever the time is)? She might be gutted but doesn't want to admit it ...

You are so very lucky

It's not unusual for people to post a question here, and never come back. Sometimes it's because they've got their answer so they go away and take action -- I suspect that sometimes, they post the question, forget where the site was and don't even see the replies. It would be nice to know! Did you have a question yourself, @CaseyLawson?

I'm sure it happens to a lot of people but I've been here for over 40 years and I am in close contact with one friend from my schooldays and friends I lived with in my teen years after I left home when I was 16. My sister and I are also very close even though we live so far apart and she comes here for a few months each year. We are retired so that makes it easier for longer stay holidays. One of my old friends from Lancashire visits Australia every 2nd year as she has a son in Sydney so we always have a very good get together when she is here. The others have never been to Australia but I always saw them when I went back to Scotland/England. I can't get up any enthusiasm to go back to the UK these days so I may not see them in person again which is kind of sad but I have very good friends here and am kept busy with one thing and another.