been here to long

[Guest Sancha2]

Hi All

My husband and i came here in 2000 married in Sydney have had 3 kids in the last 11 years have lived in Sydney for 7 and the Gold Coast for 4 but the time has come to move back to the homeland at last!

Its a hard life here so far from family for one thing but the constant trying to be happy making friends and keeping busy doing the same lonely things has taken its toll. I am writing on here as yes some people do think we are mad but we have been here for 11 years and have both had the highs and lows of loving it! hating it! but we are tired really of TRYING so hard to be happy here.

So on a good note should be home for Xmas and our kids cannot wait!

 

Good Luck to anyone coming or going its all good fun :biggrin:

[Guest siamsusie]

Exciting times going back home for you Sancha,

 

We do have an upto date and active Moving Back To the UK Thread

 

http://www.pomsinoz.com/forum/moving-back-uk/

 

Wishing you much success on going back to the UK.. as they say "home is where the heart is"!

 

Very best wishes

 

 

Susie x

[Guest Sancha2]

Hi, we have been here for 11 years and i really regret it! i'm going home this November. It does not get any better the people are different, very hard work to get on with and its not worth it. Also yes they need help!

I'm 30 now came over at 19 and the last 10 years has been so boring! I have had our kids here and its sad to see them trying to fit in also.

I can't wait to get home! for you maybe make the most of the two years, travel Oz's as much as you can the country towns are much kinder to us poms, and there is so much to see. Good Luck!

[Guest TheArmChairDetective]

Hi, we have been here for 11 years and i really regret it! i'm going home this November. It does not get any better the people are different, very hard work to get on with and its not worth it. Also yes they need help!

I'm 30 now came over at 19 and the last 10 years has been so boring! I have had our kids here and its sad to see them trying to fit in also.

I can't wait to get home! for you maybe make the most of the two years, travel Oz's as much as you can the country towns are much kinder to us poms, and there is so much to see. Good Luck!

 

Good luck with your move, I am sorry that things have not worked out for you.

If your children were born in Oz though why don'tt they "fit in" and how do you think it will be different for them here in the UK ?

[Guest Sancha2]

Sorry you say HERE IN THE UK... if you have lived in Oz for 11 years then i would be happy to keep talking but i'm pretty sure you haven't because you wouldn't of ask.

[Guest Guest31881]

I have moved this to a thread of its own, That should stop it getting lost in an old thread.

[Guest TheArmChairDetective]

Sorry you say HERE IN THE UK... if you have lived in Oz for 11 years then i would be happy to keep talking but i'm pretty sure you haven't because you wouldn't of ask.

 

I'm sorry, it IS a fair question.

If your children were born in Oz and have been brought up within their system, in what way do they not fit in? Maybe the answer would be of interest to others.

[Quoll]

I'm sorry, it IS a fair question.

If your children were born in Oz and have been brought up within their system, in what way do they not fit in? Maybe the answer would be of interest to others.

 

IMHO there is a sense of isolation for the first generation - they are always subtly different, either because their parents sound funny or they dont have the extended family around them - no grandparents at school on grandparents day, no cousins to go and play with etc. My boys both grew up here - one from birth and the other from 6 months but now as adults both have commented on the sense of isolation they had growing up here (both are now in relationships with girls with monster extended family networks, one here and one there as it happens) even though both said they had a good childhood. So it is quite easy to not quite fit - it gets easier for the second generation because there is more of a "family" to fit into.

 

To the OP, all the very best with your move onwards and upwards - sounds like you are all up for a new adventure!

[Guest TheArmChairDetective]

IMHO there is a sense of isolation for the first generation - they are always subtly different, either because their parents sound funny or they dont have the extended family around them - no grandparents at school on grandparents day, no cousins to go and play with etc. My boys both grew up here - one from birth and the other from 6 months but now as adults both have commented on the sense of isolation they had growing up here (both are now in relationships with girls with monster extended family networks, one here and one there as it happens) even though both said they had a good childhood. So it is quite easy to not quite fit - it gets easier for the second generation because there is more of a "family" to fit into.

 

To the OP, all the very best with your move onwards and upwards - sounds like you are all up for a new adventure!

 

That's interesting and certainly a consideration to take into account for those who move over in the future.

My family in Oz have been there for over 30 years, I must ask them how they have faired.

[Dawny]

Hi All

My husband and i came here in 2000 married in Sydney have had 3 kids in the last 11 years have lived in Sydney for 7 and the Gold Coast for 4 but the time has come to move back to the homeland at last!

Its a hard life here so far from family for one thing but the constant trying to be happy making friends and keeping busy doing the same lonely things has taken its toll. I am writing on here as yes some people do think we are mad but we have been here for 11 years and have both had the highs and lows of loving it! hating it! but we are tired really of TRYING so hard to be happy here.

So on a good note should be home for Xmas and our kids cannot wait!

 

Good Luck to anyone coming or going its all good fun :biggrin:

Would just like to wish you all the very best with your future plans on returning to the uk :wubclub:

[whichway]

Hi All

My husband and i came here in 2000 married in Sydney have had 3 kids in the last 11 years have lived in Sydney for 7 and the Gold Coast for 4 but the time has come to move back to the homeland at last!

Its a hard life here so far from family for one thing but the constant trying to be happy making friends and keeping busy doing the same lonely things has taken its toll. I am writing on here as yes some people do think we are mad but we have been here for 11 years and have both had the highs and lows of loving it! hating it! but we are tired really of TRYING so hard to be happy here.

So on a good note should be home for Xmas and our kids cannot wait!

 

Good Luck to anyone coming or going its all good fun :biggrin:

 

Good post! I am glad you say you are trying to be happy here, it's a great way to put it, cos that's what i feel i have been doing all this time. And as for the loneley things we so everyday....agreed. If i could have written it as well as you I would have.

 

Good luck. I'm so glad you are considering yourself lucky, cos I think you are.

[Pingpongpom2]

First i'd like to wish you all the best with your move back to the UK:smile:..you have certainly given it a good go and sound very sure this is the right thing for your family...

this is such a good thread as it highlights for people making the move over, or thinking about it, some really important issues..my Dad also struggled with living in Aus after being there for a long time and this is why we came back..the upside being that after growing up in Aus as a young child to teenager i felt as if i didn't fit in, in the UK, and therefore i have never let go of Aus..and i think it is spot on what quoll said about first generation Australians..they too can find it difficult because of the lack of extended family..it's not an easy journey sometimes and can very often turn your life on it's head!..literally ofcourse as well lol

[Guest guest30038]

IMHO there is a sense of isolation for the first generation -

 

I disagree. Both my kids (here) know that they were born in the UK and have older brothers in the UK but feel that Australia is their home.

 

We talked to them about the "belonging" when we returned from the Uk after a month long trip and they said that although they loved the scenery and the buildings etc they never felt that they belonged there or that their family there was any more important than their family and friends here. They have never felt isolated here and not once have they been thought of as "öutsiders" by their friends.

[Paul1Perth]

I have one son who was 2 when we came and another born here. They both regard themselves as Australian and I'm sure they would have a lot more problems fitting in in the UK. When their cousins have visited us they didn't really have a lot in common. They have 4 girl cousins and 2 boys around the same age. The boys were out last Christmas and the eldest one tried to look like ali G but about 5 stone heavier. They were both more interested in getting back to the house to play playstation or nintendo than being outside, doing stuff or sightseeing.

The eldest boy went with my wife and Sister to Fremantle and the first thing he bought himself was a childs backpack with a rabbits head on in bright pink. He walked round with that on and his wooly hat pulled down over his eyes thinking he looked really cool. It was about 35 degrees though so he was moaning about how hot he felt. My wife thought it was hilarious but I don't think her Sister saw the funny side.

 

Just because they have family doesn't mean they will get on. I had a few cousins who I saw when growing up and keep in touch with now and then but we were never "friends". Had heaps of friends though who weren't close family.

[Guest guest36762]

I have one son who was 2 when we came and another born here. They both regard themselves as Australian and I'm sure they would have a lot more problems fitting in in the UK. When their cousins have visited us they didn't really have a lot in common. They have 4 girl cousins and 2 boys around the same age. The boys were out last Christmas and the eldest one tried to look like ali G but about 5 stone heavier. They were both more interested in getting back to the house to play playstation or nintendo than being outside, doing stuff or sightseeing.

The eldest boy went with my wife and Sister to Fremantle and the first thing he bought himself was a childs backpack with a rabbits head on in bright pink. He walked round with that on and his wooly hat pulled down over his eyes thinking he looked really cool. It was about 35 degrees though so he was moaning about how hot he felt. My wife thought it was hilarious but I don't think her Sister saw the funny side.

 

Just because they have family doesn't mean they will get on. I had a few cousins who I saw when growing up and keep in touch with now and then but we were never "friends". Had heaps of friends though who weren't close family.

 

I think I'd be desperate to get back home if I was them! Poor kids

[northernbird]

IMHO there is a sense of isolation for the first generation - they are always subtly different, either because their parents sound funny or they dont have the extended family around them - no grandparents at school on grandparents day, no cousins to go and play with etc. My boys both grew up here - one from birth and the other from 6 months but now as adults both have commented on the sense of isolation they had growing up here (both are now in relationships with girls with monster extended family networks, one here and one there as it happens) even though both said they had a good childhood. So it is quite easy to not quite fit - it gets easier for the second generation because there is more of a "family" to fit into.

 

To the OP, all the very best with your move onwards and upwards - sounds like you are all up for a new adventure!

 

I agree with some of what you say but I also think your ambivalence will have rubbed off on them. Children pick up on subtleties that we don't realise and comments will have been heard and absorbed and had some input into the way they feel about the place. Both my children love it here because we do, I sometimes think it is as simple as that.

 

I also wish the OP luck back in the UK.

[Guest geelongphil]

mmm interesting,,,all the best i hope it works out for you and your boys,,,i came here 20 years ago, my son was 6,,i now also have a 13 year old, we have no other family out here, yet my boys are just fine, in fact they have no interest in the uk, last time we were there 8 years ago they couldn't wait to get back to Geelong, so i guess its different for every body, its a funny old world,,, all the best,,phil

[Guest chris955]

Yes I agree. Our kids were born and bred here in Brisbane but they consider themselves very English. My eldest brothers boys are also similar.

 

IMHO there is a sense of isolation for the first generation - they are always subtly different, either because their parents sound funny or they dont have the extended family around them - no grandparents at school on grandparents day, no cousins to go and play with etc. My boys both grew up here - one from birth and the other from 6 months but now as adults both have commented on the sense of isolation they had growing up here (both are now in relationships with girls with monster extended family networks, one here and one there as it happens) even though both said they had a good childhood. So it is quite easy to not quite fit - it gets easier for the second generation because there is more of a "family" to fit into.

 

To the OP, all the very best with your move onwards and upwards - sounds like you are all up for a new adventure!

[Paul1Perth]

I think I'd be desperate to get back home if I was them! Poor kids

 

Funnily enough they both said they loved it here and would move here tomorrow if they could.

The eldest one is 20, never had a job, been on training courses galor but never any jobs at the end of them. His friends he knocks about with are in the same boat so can't see any way forward.

 

:cool:

[ali]

I think it just goes to show that the same set of circumstances can be experienced very differently by people. Does it matter if people feel more of an affinity for one place or another - the only important thing is that the person is happy with the choices they've made.

 

I'm sat here reflecting (and this hasn't got anything to do with a post i've read on this thread by the way) and I sometimes feel in this section of the forum that we tend to forget that people are speaking from their own experiences and thefore what they have experienced or feel is very 'real to them', it may be the total opposite to my perceptions or emotions - that doesn't make either of us wrong. When we feel things are going wrong our perceptions and related feelings to circumstances and events can be different to when we're feeling all is good with our little corner of the world. I do have to stop and take stock sometimes when replying that just because it didn't feel like that for me, doesn't mean that it hasn't for someone else. I think it's important to feel 'heard' and I do hope that my posts don't come across as dismissive for those faced with the dilema of moving back.

[Sydney]

Hi, we have been here for 11 years and i really regret it! i'm going home this November. It does not get any better the people are different, very hard work to get on with and its not worth it. Also yes they need help!

I'm 30 now came over at 19 and the last 10 years has been so boring! I have had our kids here and its sad to see them trying to fit in also.

I can't wait to get home! for you maybe make the most of the two years, travel Oz's as much as you can the country towns are much kinder to us poms, and there is so much to see. Good Luck!

 

Good luck mate, hope you and all the fam settle back into life in the UK. I know of countless families over here where kids are born to British mums and dads and this is the first case I can think of where some of them might not fit in. I'll follow this thread with interest.

As I mentioned in an earlier post, my wife who's a NZer and myself are currently planning to return to the UK, we've been in Sydney mostly for over 30 years. I feel very Australian in a sense and most likely (at times), will view the UK from an Aussie perspective. I think I might be in the minority on here that I'm going back without a grudge about Australia/Australians. Very few people returning to the UK say kind things about the country which is sad really, particularly the ones who's spent a fair bit of time here. For what it's worth I'm returning, (apart from family reasons), to do some of the things that held no interest to me when I was a lot younger and couldn't wait to leave the place. I have my gripes about certain things in Australia but certainly nothing that would drive me out of the country. I think Australia has become more competitive at every level than it was in the seventies. Certainly the major cities have. Life is faster than it ever was, and it could just be me getting older, but the last couple of times I've been home in Edinburgh, I've found the pace much more sedate. Probably not fair to compare two cities that are vastly different in size, and I'm sure London and the bigger cities of the UK might compare with Syd/Melb.

For the record I know of quite a lot of Greeks and Italians who go home to retire and spend a few months of the year back in Oz visiting grandkids etc. but they tend to go home with that sense of achievement than most Brits don't show.

I think kids are likely to have more in the way of lifestyle and career opportunities in Australia than most other countries, certainly more than the UK will offer over the next 5-10 years.

Although I found a sense of belonging among people in the UK, more so than people in Australia, they seemed to show a discontent that they "could be doing a lot better for themselves". These dreadful shows in the UK about Australia, parodying the whole country like a scene from Baywatch certainly don't help the expectations of those planning a new life here. Or those that don't get the opportunity to try.

I think anyone who has been in Australia for 11 years raising a family should feel an enormous sense of achievement, and the fact you're upping stumps for another fresh start will hopefully result in your children making the most of the best of both countries.

Keep us up to date, and again, good luck. Cheers, Syd,

[Quoll]

I agree with some of what you say but I also think your ambivalence will have rubbed off on them. Children pick up on subtleties that we don't realise and comments will have been heard and absorbed and had some input into the way they feel about the place. Both my children love it here because we do, I sometimes think it is as simple as that.

 

I also wish the OP luck back in the UK.

 

No, didnt say that my boys didnt like it here and when they were growing up I was in an OK place so my ambivalence had little to do with their perception of how things are here. One of mine is standing in line to be Ocker of the decade (the self sufficient one with family etc) the other followed opportunities and now seems to have permanently made the move back to UK although that was never his intention - he did once say that if he had to give up his Aus passport to follow his career that would be a deal breaker but he is further down the career path now and would probably opt for career over passport, especially after his last trip back here where he could hardly wait to get on the plane to get back to "his life".

 

My comment was only on their perception of "isolation" - and realistically that is correct. We were a very happy little nuclear family, doing it our way, very self sufficient. Strangely, the ockerest one had more difficulty fitting in than the other one - friendships were very difficult for him (doesnt suffer fools gladly!). They suffered from the same phenomenon of transient friendships that both DH and I have observed - even DH who was born and raised here doesnt have the social network that I have still in UK. As far as I know, DS1 in London has nothing to do with any Aus friends he may have made in the past (he was the social one!)

 

I think if you come from an extended family and social network then you struggle to replace that within the first generation, it's only when the second generation moves into adulthood and starts their own family then things feel less isolated.

[Guest Sancha2]

Good luck mate, hope you and all the fam settle back into life in the UK. I know of countless families over here where kids are born to British mums and dads and this is the first case I can think of where some of them might not fit in. I'll follow this thread with interest.

 

Thanks so much for your message it was very well put. I really appreciate your comment on 11 years here as i think alot of people don't take that into account.

I have to say that i'm not someone with a grudge to Australia or Australian's. I feel that any bad feelings i have had or have are because i want to be at home. Yes it has hard here but it would have been anywhere without family.

Thanks again

[Guest Sancha2]

Would just like to wish you all the very best with your future plans on returning to the uk :wubclub:

 

Thanks very much for your message. Did you move back? and if so when? maybe why? I see your in Bournemouth i'm going back to Bridport lol. If you did move back how do you feek there now? Thanks again

[Guest Sancha2]

Good luck with your move, I am sorry that things have not worked out for you.

If your children were born in Oz though why don'tt they "fit in" and how do you think it will be different for them here in the UK ?

 

Okay with regards to my kids not fitting in. I don't mean it like they don't have any friends here, they have lots and love school life but i see that they need more and i know from my childhood there is so much more. Maybe its because i'm from a large family and we always had family things to do or cousin staying over and just in general more going on around us to pick and choose what to do and with who we like. My kids could be happy here because they don't know what they could have but i do and thats why we are doing it.